Keeper of the Stars (26 page)

After Trevor's return to Nashville following Brad's funeral and Trevor's visit to his mom's, he and his remaining band members had tried to fulfill their touring commitments. They'd hired another drummer and gone back on the road. But Trevor's heart hadn't been in the music. He hadn't wanted to entertain anyone, hadn't wanted to perform, hadn't wanted to even sing in the shower. In under a week he'd known what he had to do: cancel all remaining engagements and disband while he took the time to grieve the death of his friend. He and the boys had all said it was temporary, that they would be back together again in time. But so much had changed since then—both circumstances and Trevor himself. Did he even want to go back to the old way of living?

Lifting the mic to his mouth, he repeated, “Thanks,” then gave a nod of his head.

The keyboardist was accomplished. It sounded as if someone played a violin, the way Trevor had recorded the song for his one and only album.

“It was no accident . . .” As natural as breathing, he sang, his gaze moving to Penny and remaining there, wanting her to know he believed the words of the song, hoping he wasn't moving too fast.

Penny was mesmerized.

“Long before we ever knew . . .,” Trevor crooned in that smooth voice of his.

She was captivated. By the look in his eyes. By the words of the song that he seemed to sing straight to her. Was that possible? And even if he did mean them, what could the future hold for a small-town librarian and a traveling musician? He'd said himself, this very day, that marriage wasn't something he wanted. Would that change in the future? Had that changed in only a few hours?

The requested song was the same one that had caused an unexpected longing for romantic love to well up inside of Penny. Perhaps that's all she felt now. Just a wish for something she didn't have. Just sentimentality because of a popular love song. Maybe it had nothing to do with the man who sang the words.

Or maybe it had everything to do with him.

She tried to draw in a deep breath, but there was no steadying the rapid beat of her heart. There were dozens of reasons why it would be foolish to care for him—to love him—more than she already did.

It's okay for you to be happy.

It didn't seem like an important thought at first. But then, despite all the distractions in the restaurant, she realized God had spoken an important truth into her spirit. In an instant she understood that she'd allowed herself to believe she didn't
deserve to live fully, to be happy, that she felt guilty for being alive and having a future. Her brother's life had ended, and she'd expected to pay a penalty for continuing to live on. How had her thinking become so twisted?

Perhaps
, she answered,
because I blamed You even more than I blamed Trevor.

And with that admission came peace. In a breath, she felt the balm of God's forgiveness wash over her heart and a feeling of freedom replace the knot of fear that had resided inside of her for such a long, long time. She felt free. Free to live. Free to love.

The song ended and applause erupted throughout the restaurant. Trevor smiled as his gaze finally left Penny and slowly moved over the audience.

“Thanks, everyone.” He turned and handed the microphone back to the vocalist. Someone called for another song, but Trevor shook his head before walking to where Penny sat. “Maybe we should go.”

She nodded, understanding. If they stayed, someone would always be watching them or asking Trevor for an autograph or for one more song. She took his hand and he drew her to her feet. They nodded at the couple—Ashley Holloway and her husband, Vic—who had welcomed Penny to their table but to whom she hadn't spoken anything beyond, “Hi.”

The trio began playing again. Couples returned to the dance floor. Trevor and Penny went against the tide as they
made their way to their table. They collected their coats, his hat, and her clutch. A short while later they stood outside the entrance.

Trevor glanced down at her feet, then up at her eyes. “Ready?”

She suddenly felt giddy, as if she'd been drinking champagne with her dinner instead of iced tea.

As before, he swept her off her feet as if she were as light as a feather. And why did this journey across the snow-covered street seem much too short, unlike when he'd carried her the opposite direction? With surprising ease, he unlocked the truck and opened the passenger door while still holding her in his arms. Then he set her on the seat, his hands lingering on her waist.

Would he kiss her? She wanted him to kiss her. Could he see it in her eyes?
Please see it in my eyes.

There was a breathless moment when he drew closer to her, and she was certain she was about to get her wish. Then a car rounded a bend in the road. Headlights bathed Trevor in a yellow-white flash. Only for a few seconds before the automobile rolled past them and darkness returned. But the brightness of the lights had been enough to break the spell. He stepped back, gave her an apologetic smile—at least, that was what it seemed to her—and closed the door.

The drive home was made in silence, and Penny wished she could read his thoughts. Maybe he hadn't been close to kissing her. Maybe she'd only imagined it. Maybe she'd
imagined everything. What did she know? She'd never been in love before, and no man had ever been in love with her. Not really in love.

When they got to the ranch, Trevor walked with her along the cleared path to the porch steps.

“Would you like to come in?” she asked as they climbed the steps. “It isn't New Year's yet. I can make us some decaf while we wait for midnight.”

“Sure. I'll come in.”

Penny tried the door. It was unlocked. Her dad had always left the door unlocked for her when she was on a date, even after she was older and he no longer waited up for her. A lamp had been left on in the living room, but the rest of the house was dark and quiet.

She put her small clutch on the entry table, and without a word Trevor helped her out of her coat. He placed his hat next to her purse. His coat covered hers on the coat tree. Then he followed her into the kitchen. He didn't take a seat at the table, as expected. Instead, he stood only a few feet away from the coffeemaker, observing her every movement. She felt nervous and clumsy.

“You know,” he said, his voice low, “maybe coffee isn't what I want.”

Two steps was all it took for him to be at her side. Two short steps. With a gentle but firm grip on her shoulders, he turned her to face him. She lost the ability to breathe as he placed an index finger under her chin and tilted her face up so that their gazes met.

“Penny . . .”

He spoke her name so softly she wasn't sure he'd said anything at all. But by then he was kissing her, and she no longer cared what had or had not been said.

Chapter 20

W
EARING A PAIR OF COMFORTABLE JEANS AND A
bulky blue-and-white sweater, Penny hummed to herself as she descended the stairs early the next morning. Her father was seated at the kitchen table, reading the newspaper on his iPad while drinking coffee. Fred and Ginger lay beneath the table, heads on paws.

Her dad looked at her and immediately put down the iPad. “You're up mighty early. I take it you had a good time last night.”

“Mmm.” Her smile widened. She couldn't help it. “A very good time.”

“I'm glad.”

She poured herself a cup of coffee. “Me too.”

“Any plans for today?”

“Yes.” She turned and leaned her backside against the
counter. “Trevor and I are driving down to Boise for the day. We thought we'd go to the mall and maybe take in a movie and whatever else suits our fancy. He said he would arrange for friends to take care of the livestock without him today, so you don't have to worry about that.”

“I wasn't worried.”

“Dad?”

“Hmm?”

“I really like Trevor.”
Really, really like him.
“I was wrong about him. In lots of ways.”

Her dad looked at her in silence for a long time, then nodded.

“I never expected to feel this way.”

“Life often takes us by surprise, my girl.”

Penny gazed into her mug. She'd never been big on surprises, but she rather liked this one.

Ginger whimpered and got to her feet, her ears cocked forward. Fred followed a moment later. Then both dogs dashed out of the kitchen, through the mudroom, and outside through the pet door. Penny's pulse quickened as if she too had heard the arrival of Trevor's truck.

“Must be him now,” her dad said, needlessly.

She put down her mug and headed for the front door. When she opened it, Trevor was already out of the cab and giving each of the dogs the attention their exuberant welcome deserved.

He straightened, saw her, and smiled. “Morning.”

“Good morning.”

Another truck rolled into the barnyard, two men in the cab.

Trevor said, “Looks like the first shift is here.”

Penny said a silent word of thanks to God for the way their neighbors continued to pitch in to help her dad. Over the years, she'd seen the people of this valley do the same for other folks, time and again. She—and her mother before her—had prepared casseroles and individual frozen meals whenever word went out about someone in need.

While Trevor went over to speak to Chet and Grant, Penny gave the men a wave and retreated into the house. She entered the kitchen moments later. “Dad, shall I fix your breakfast before we go?”

“No, thank you. Unless you two plan to eat with me before you go.”

She shook her head. “We're going to enjoy a New Year's brunch at some restaurant in Boise. Trevor's got that planned too.”

“Full of plans, that boy.” He chuckled softly.

Her dad was amused by his own comment, but it troubled Penny. Perhaps because she had no idea where those plans of Trevor's were headed. Not today, but further down the road. He hadn't said he loved her. She hadn't said she loved him. But if they were in love, where would it lead?

As clear as if she were at the Tamarack again, she heard him singing in her memory. He had an amazing voice, an amazing stage presence. And he had a smile that could melt women's hearts. He could be a star. He
should
be a star.

But where does that leave me? There's Dad and this ranch and my job. What about—

Penny closed her eyes and determinedly drove such thoughts from her mind. She would not let the uncertainty of tomorrow spoil the joy of today. For once, she didn't have to map out the future step by step. She didn't have to be in absolute total control. She could live in the moment instead.

A whisper of cold air told her a door had opened and Trevor had entered the house. After a bit of foot stomping to make certain no snow was left on his boots, he strode into the kitchen.

“Morning,” he said to her again. Then to her dad, “Good morning, sir.”

“Morning, Trevor. Penny tells me you have a full day of fun planned down in the valley.”

“We do.” Trevor glanced back at Penny. “Well, I hope it'll be fun anyway.”

She remembered his kisses. They'd stood in almost this very same spot. Her stomach tumbled and her cheeks grew warm.

“Are you ready?” He smiled as if he'd read her thoughts.

“Just let me get my purse from the bedroom.” She spun around and hurried up the stairs.

Rodney was neither blind nor stupid. His daughter more than
liked
Trevor Reynolds. And unless Rodney's eyes deceived
him, the young man felt very much the same way about Penny. If he'd been alone in the kitchen, he might have done a little jig of joy. Instead he lifted the iPad and feigned renewed interest in the
Idaho Statesman
.

“Sir?” Trevor crossed to the table. “Did you think about my offer? Of a loan?”

“I have.” In truth, he'd thought about the offer many times since it had been made. He'd thought about it and rejected it again and again.