Keep Swimming (8 page)

“
You want me to tell her she can’t hang out here?” Could he even do that? They’d been friends since they were fifteen.

“
I don’t know why I even said anything,” Cary said. “I feel guilty. She’s your friend, and it sounds like I’m saying not to hang out with her and I don’t want to be that guy. Shit. I don’t know. Just… Look, I have to take Gus to the kennel. It’s doggy day. Maybe we can grab dinner this weekend and forget this happened?”

“
If you’re sure.”

“
Definitely. I’m sorry again. I gotta go.” And he disconnected the call. Heath had no clue what to do. He’d never been in a serious relationship so he’d never run into this issue. And the guilt coming from Cary was genuine, he’d felt horrible even suggesting Heath do something about Becca’s dropping by. Could Heath? Should he? Did Cary have the right to even ask?

He dialed Becca, who’d gone home earlier that morning because she realized he needed space while he anxiously fumbled around below deck, waiting on Cary’s call.

“Heath!” she answered. “Did you hear from your friend?

“
Yeah. I’m a little lost.”

“
Okay, why?”

“
Do you have a minute?” he asked.

“
Of course. I’m just doing laundry. What’s going on?” He heard the slamming of a washing machine’s lid and the running of water, waited for silence to signal she’d left the laundry room.

“
That guy, I’ve been seeing him.”

“
Well, I assumed he wasn’t just a friend. Although, I’ve not seen you get that worked up over a fuck buddy before.”

“
No,” he said, frustrated. “I’ve been
seeing
him.”

“
Oh.
Oh
,
Heath that’s great!” He could practically see her doing her happy dance in his head. She’d been on his ass to settle down, or at least see one person consistently, forever. Then she went quiet. “Oh, shit!”

“
Yep. Finally caught on?”

“
Oh now I’m even more mortified. Fuckin’-A, Heath. Why didn’t you warn me, I would never have shown up without calling ahead!”

“
So it’s not out of line to ask for that?”

“
No, you big dummy. Are you kidding. If I’d been in Cary’s shoes I’d’ve clawed my eyes out. Heath, I was topless! He must think I’m such a slut,” she sounded just as exasperated as Heath felt.

“
No, he actually felt guilty for flipping out.”

“
You’re such a dumbass. Currents rarely want the exes around, especially if it’s new. I know
I
don’t. Remember what a bitch I was to Philip when he asked his ex-wife to house sit while we went to the Keys?” Did he ever. She called Heath railing about it for hours and he hadn’t gotten what the big deal was.

“
Oh, babe,” she said, almost condescending. “You’ve never had a serious boyfriend, or girlfriend for that matter, so this may come as a shock to you. People get jealous.” Heath understood that, he’d seen his friends do it over the significant others, he’d even seen one or two of his hookups get that way toward him, but he’d never really been attached enough to feel like that. And no one had ever been a big enough part of his life to have a say in who or what he did.

“
So…” he said.

“
How would you feel if you went to his house and he was having dinner with his ex?”

“
He wouldn’t,” Heath said matter-of-fact. “The guy was not good people.”

“
Well, say they worked out their differences. Say the guy started coming by regularly and your boy—Cary, right?—gave him a key to his place.” Heath imagined it. Cary did have a child he considered part Marshall’s. If the veterinarian rolled back in town and became part of Cary’s life again, if they got tight. Heath’s blood pressure went up just thinking about the guy trying to weasel his way back in Cary and Gus’s life.

“
Ah, you’re making your caveman grunts,” she said, sounding too amused at Heath’s expense.

“
Okay, I get it. But… am I ready for this? I’ve been seeing him exclusively for three months, gave him a key, I’d be banning my best friend from my house.”

“
Oh, shut up. You wouldn’t be banning me, just asking me to be respectful enough—and I’d want Cary to know I can do that if he’s going to be part of your life—that I give you guys space until Cary knows me well enough to flaunt my tits in his adorable face, too. And you need to ask
yourself
if you’re ready, babe.”

Heath chuckled but sobered as he said, “I can’t lose him yet. I don’t know why, but him and his kid, they just fit somewhere I didn’t know was empty.”

“Oh, shit. A kid?”

“
Yeah, shut up.” She was silent for a moment, Cary thought he heard her sniffle. He knew she had hurt much more and for much longer than he had over the loss of their baby. “Becca?”

“
No, I’m good. But Heath, if you are willing to take on his
kid
too... I think you have your answer right there. You hate kids.”

“
I don’t hate—” He didn’t even finish the thought. She was right either way.

“
Just keep doing what you’re doing. It seems like it’s been working for you guys. And remember you have to give a little, okay? He’s not asking for a ring, just for some space to grow and that’s daunting under the shadow of an ex.”

“
Thanks, Bec. I should probably go now. I have to go apologize for being relationship challenged, yet again
.
”

“
Go get him, Tiger. And don’t worry too much, I’m sure he thinks your fumbling around in all this is as adorable as I do.” She laughed at his growl and disconnected. He rubbed his hands over his face. He wished he could start getting some of this shit right, he wasn’t creative enough to keep coming up with new and imaginative ways of apologizing. He just hoped Cary wouldn’t give up on him, yet.

“Hold on guys,” Cary said to Kent and Celine. They’d come over to cheer him up. He'd intended to call Heath but they'd shown up right after Gus's fever had spiked so he hadn't had a chance. They were busy cooking dinner when someone knocked on the door.

His friends agreed with him when he’d told them he’d just let his insecurities get the better of him. Kent had been quick to say it was okay, though. It was new, not just the relationship but dating in general. And he was felling for Heath. Bad. So waiting for the other shoe to drop was only natural. It was time, though, to put down his arms, to just let it be what it would be. He’d been good at that before, so now he needed to remember that not everyone was like Marshall. It was going to be okay, even if they didn’t wind up together in the end. He’d at least know he was capable of doing this, of being with someone else.

He pulled the front door open, and all his breath left him at once. Heath was standing on his front step, holding flowers, dressed in the same green shirt from the first time they’d fooled around, and khaki shorts that revealed his long, tanned legs. He looked good enough to eat. But his expression was pained, uncharacteristically demure.

“
Those for me?” Cary asked, nodding toward the flowers. Heath held them out and Cary had to stop from laughing, not only at the contrition Heath showed, but the dirt dangling from the roots of what looked like daisies Heath had pulled from someone’s yard.

“
None of the good flower shops were open,” he mumbled. “And Kyle said flowers were good for apologizing.” Cary guffawed, earning a frown from his boyfriend. He grabbed the daisies, hauled Heath in by his shirt and kissed him soundly.

When withdrew from the kiss, he beamed at the pleased flush on Heath’s face. “No more apologizing. We’re good, okay?”

“Becca says I’m a dumbass and she’s not gonna drop in like that anymore. Apparently I was supposed to have warned her and you.”

Cary leaned his forehead against Heath’s. “We’re good. I promise. I’m sorry, too. I should have stuck around and talked to you.” He pulled back. “I’m relearning this stuff, too. So I’ll mess up sometimes. I’m just glad… that we’re okay?”

Heath smiled, and it was a real smile. There was no seduction, no smirk, just an honest-to-goodness, happy showing of teeth and smile lines around wizened eyes. “Definitely okay.” Heath kissed him again. “Do you want to see if someone can watch Gus and go for that dinner tonight?”

Cary was always surprised when Heath asked to go out somewhere, knowing how much the man valued his privacy and tried to keep a lid on their relationship. He understood the need, and usually when they ate out they did it somewhere very casual and acted more like buddies than boyfriends, but the fact Heath tried in his own bumbling way was cute and made Cary feel special.

Cary closed his eyes. “I’m sorry,” he apologized. “I can’t. Gus has a fever and it took forever to get him down tonight.” He opened the door wider so Heath could see the people gathered in the kitchen, which you could see directly into from where they stood. “Celine and Kent are here for dinner. You're welcome—”

“
Heath!” Celine called, dropping her spoon on the stove. She told Kent something about watching the food she’d been cooking in the skillet and came bustling over, long skirt fluttering around her. Her face was stretched into a pleased grin as she bussed a kiss on each of Heath’s cheeks. “It is so good to see you. Come, come in. You must eat. I made paella and there’s enough to feed us all for a week.”

Heath glanced at Cary as if asking for permission. Cary rolled his eyes and grabbed Heath, wrapping a hand around a thick bicep. “Come on. Please, we’d love to have you.” He led Heath in and they all gathered in the kitchen. Heath and Kent shook hands. They’d seen each other a few times, Heath having come in The Barkery by the Bay a couple times in the months they’d been together.

“You boys playing nice?” Kent asked. Cary shot him a glare, Heath’s face flushing. Kent and Celine snickered, enjoying the situation too much for Cary’s liking. He turned and mouthed
Sorry
to Heath who just smiled and pulled him in for a quick peck on the lips.

“
So sweet, you two. I always said you two would be perfect together,” Celine said, haughtily.

“
And when did you say this?” Cary asked, tone dry.

             
“Many times, I just say it to myself. They are perfect, are they not, Kent?”

             
“If they’d both stop being such nervous freaks,” Kent replied. Again, Cary glared at his friends. Heath grabbed Cary’s hand and gave it a squeeze. This was a new side of Heath. He’d seen it more and more lately, but mostly in the privacy of Heath’s yacht. He would touch, and hold. It was strange at first to see the big man slowly become a softy who couldn't keep his hands to himself. But Cary liked it. He thought the butterflies that had just burst in his stomach with Heath’s touch would choke him. He kept his gaze on Kent and Celine who taunted each other, Kent telling Celine she was cooking the paella wrong.

             
Finally, the food was ready and they all sat down at the table to eat, something that only happened when the whole group was together. Cary was fairly lax about Gus eating at the coffee table and watching the History Channel—his favorite. Who could fuss at a kid for wanting to watch documentaries on the ancient Egyptians?

They sat joking, talking about nothing heavy. Celine brought out a bottle of wine while Cary checked that Gus was still sleeping. He let the others finish off the bottle so he’d be prepared if Gus needed something through the night. He noticed even Heath backed off after two glasses. The man could drink like a fish, so the gesture was not missed. Cary placed a palm on Heath’s knee and squeezed. Heath looked at him, turning up one corner of his mouth in a goofy grin.

“Okay, this is getting too sappy for me. I gotta be up early, so I think I should go,” Kent said.

“
Thanks again for doing inventory tomorrow,” Cary said as he got up to walk Kent out. Celine took dishes to the sink, which Heath insisted he'd wash.

“
Then I shall make my exit as well. It was a long day with my best volunteer sick,” she winked at Cary and kissed his cheeks. “Goodnight, Heath.” She touched a finger to Cary’s nose and was out the door in a gust of flowing skirts and bangling bracelets.

Cary walked into the kitchen where Heath was doing the dishes. He placed his cheek on Heath’s back and wrapped his arms around his waist. “Thanks for coming over.”

Heath turned in his arms and kissed his forehead. “Thanks for having me. I had a good time.” Heath grabbed a towel from behind him and wiped his hands before wrapping his own arms around Cary’s waist and kissing him soundly, the quickest slip of tongue. “I missed you.”

Cary sighed contentedly and lay his head on Heath’s shoulder.

“Did I say something wrong?” Heath asked.

“
No, not at all. I’m just surprised. You’re… different.” He leaned up and looked over Heath’s handsome features. “I guess this isn’t what I expected from you.”

“
It’s not what I expected from myself, honestly. I’ve never done this. Not even…” He grimaced.

Cary chuckled. “Not with your ex-wife?”

Heath nodded. “Like I told you, she was a friend before and we fucked up. We’re from a small town. We did what we were supposed to do. We were never in a relationship, just doing dumb kid stuff. After we lost the baby, we stayed together for one reason or another. Me being in the Guard helped pay for her school, our parents were appeased so long as the 'D' word never came up. They kept pressuring for more kids. We could barely sit in the same room with each other, though. We went from being best friends one year to hating each other the next.”

“
That sounds rough.” Cary hated even commenting. He was eating up every morsel of this random sharing, he didn’t want to stop its flow. He was honored Heath was opening up to him.

“
It was. I stopped coming home on leave and finally when she finished her undergrad we hadn’t really even seen each other face to face in over two years so we got divorced. Our friendship immediately bounced back. But it made me wary of …” He used a hand to motion between himself and Cary. “This. What if I had found a good friend and we fucked it up like that because we tried for more. I hated the idea of losing a friend.”

“
So you kept the ones you had close, and the fuck buddies at arm's length.”

“
You make me sound like a whore,” Heath said, equally amused and annoyed at once.

“
No way, Heath. I don’t think that. I think you were single a long time. Hell, I was a slut in college. Being single comes with its perks.”

A fire appeared in Heath’s eyes as he grabbed Cary’s ass with both hands and pulled him close, lips a hair's breadth apart. “Well, being with you comes with its perks.” He closed the distance, kissing Cary thoroughly and dirty.

“Daddy,” Gus said behind them. They parted quickly. Gus was rubbing his eyes, luckily oblivious to what they’d been up to. They stole a smile at each other before Cary picked Gus up.

“
Feeling okay, bud?” he asked, placing a hand on Gus’s forehead. He seemed to have sweated off some of the fever.

“
Heaf,” he said, pointing over Cary’s shoulder.

“
Yep. Heath is here. He wanted to make sure you were okay.”

He held out his hands. “Want you,” he said to Heath. Cary checked with Heath who seemed mildly alarmed but held out long arms to take Gus from Cary. Gus was small for his age but in Heath’s arms he looked like a rag doll, he flopped there lazily like one, too.

“We’ll go out on the boat soon, okay?” Gus asked, eyes sliding closed as Heath held him. Heath laid a cheek on top of Gus’s head which was leaned on Heath’s broad chest.

“
Of course. Any time, man.” Cary had to lean against the counter for a second, his breathing tricky as he watched Heath sway gently, rocking Gus while he stood, both of their faces serene. Gus hated strangers, was often painfully shy. It had taken
months
to get him used to his preschool teacher. But there he lay, obviously feeling safe with Heath. And this wasn’t the first time Gus had fallen asleep in Heath’s arms. Only this time, Heath seemed to be as content as Gus with the development.

“
I’m, uh,” Cary said, pointing down the hall. “I’m gonna go get the thermometer. You can just go sit on the couch.”

He went down the hall to grab the thermometer. When he caught his reflection in the mirror he saw the goofiest grin on his own face. He covered it with one hand, trying to stop it, trying not to read too much into this.

Finally, he headed back down the hall. “We can just check his temp and put him—” He stopped, still smiling. Laid back with the recliner kicked open, Heath slept soundly, Gus on his lap.

“
You bastard,” Cary said. Not even a flinch from either of his guys. Yeah, he was so screwed.