Keep Me Still (3 page)

“Y
ou’re
home early,” Aunt Kate says when she comes home a few minutes after me.

“Yeah. I, um, got a ride.”
Please don’t ask.

“From?” she asks, sorting through the mail she brought in as she tries to look less interested than she really is.

“Landen O’Brien.” And I can’t help it. Saying his name makes me smile. It also fills me with a warmth I’m not expecting. I have a friend. Sort of.

At that my aunt drops the mail and stares at me. “Is he cute?” She’s probably turning cartwheels in her mind at the possibility that I might stop being an antisocial loser after all.
Keep the dream alive, Aunt Kate.

“No, he’s got this messed up grill and he walks like a hunchback actually.” Shuddering for emphasis, I bite my lip to keep from grinning.

“You’re hilarious, Layla,” she says with an eye roll.

“If I’m being honest, he’s way better than cute,” I say quietly, fully aware that my face is on fire. “And he’s new so…” So he doesn’t know what a complete freak show I am. But then, my aunt doesn’t know how bad it is for me at school so I just keep the rest of that sentence to myself.

“Lay, I know you don’t want to hear this, but if you do keep hanging out with him, you’re going to have to tell him about—”

“It was a ride home. Relax.”

But for the rest of the evening, I can’t relax. All I can think about is Landen O’Brien’s sweet smile and the way he blushed when I put on
Layla
in the truck. Maybe Aunt Kate was right. Maybe I can do more than just
get through
.

“H
ere,
put this on it,” my mom says as she hands me a pack of frozen mixed vegetables for my jaw. Needless to say, when the Colonel called the Hope Springs High School athletic department to find out how my football tryout had gone and to get a game schedule, he was pretty pissed when the football coach mentioned that I was a no-show.

“He just has high expectations for you, Landen. You know that,” she reminds me. Making excuses for him has always been something she was good at it. But her eyes don’t meet mine. Believing her own excuses, however, she’s not so good at.

After I’d run the five miles for my punishment, I was stupid enough to make a comment about how it was my life, and with the Colonel already pissed, he jacked my jaw in response. I should know better by now. And I’m big enough to take him. But I just really don’t care anymore. And it would kill my mom to see us whaling on each other. So I suck it up like I’ve always done.

L
anden’s
mouth feels so good on mine, I almost feel sorry for any girl who’ll never get to kiss him. Almost. His hands are big and strong and warm on my hips, pulling me closer, as if that’s possible. My body molds into him, and a fleeting thought races past. What if someone sees us?

I glance around the parking lot to see if anyone else has arrived but we’re still alone.

Until a black Chevy Avalanche with tinted windows pulls up beside us. A man in a dark hooded sweatshirt jumps out and I recognize him but I don’t know from where.

“Landen,” I murmur against his lips but he’s lost in our kissing. His tongue presses into my mouth when I open it and I can’t breathe. “Landen. Landen, stop.” I shove my hands against his chest but he doesn’t budge. His hands wrap around me, clutching me closer, too close. The man’s coming closer but I can’t warn him.

“Landen!” I scream but it’s too late. The gunshots ring out and his body goes limp in my arms.

“Landen!”

I wake up grasping my comforter. It’s twisted and gripping me so tightly I can barely move to disentangle myself.

Well, that’s a new twist on an old nightmare. Sweat soaks my t-shirt and I try to shake the images on the way to the shower. And now, for reasons that aren’t his fault in any way, I don’t want to see Landen O’Brien ever again.

Which is unfortunate, because as soon as I step outside, he’s there. Waiting for me. Leaning up against his truck, looking like a magazine ad. Just like in my nightmare, I’m suddenly smothered and unable to breathe at the sight of him.

I’ve built walls around myself, carefully constructed them piece by painstaking piece to keep myself safe. Unseen, unaffected. And Landen’s grinning at me with a smile that might as well be a sledgehammer. When he opens the truck door for me and our eyes meet, his intentions are clear. He wants to tear down those walls, send them crashing all around me. Doesn’t he realize they’ll bury me? Us?

“What are you doing here?” Part of me is relieved. I was starting to think I’d dreamed him. But the thought of dreams reminds me of my nightmare last night, and my stomach tightens as bile rises in my throat.

“Thought you might like a ride,” he answers, smiling that tempting smile at me.

“This going to be a regular thing?” I ask out of curiosity as he helps me into the truck.

“Do you want it to be?” He arches an eyebrow and I can’t help but smile back.

“If you do.”

“I do,” he says and his grin widens. “I think we’re married now.”

“You don’t have to do this, you know. I can handle the bus.”

He’s still shaking his head when he gets in on his side. “Yeah, who doesn’t love a bus full of obnoxious freshmen who don’t shower after gym class?” He winks at me and my insides start to tingle. What is it about this guy? Why do I feel like he was sent here just for me?

“Actually I’m going to have soccer and football practice after school Monday through Thursday, but I can at least give you a ride
to
school and I can take you home on Fridays.”

“You play both?” I didn’t even know you could do that.

His jaw clenches, and it might be my imagination, but his knuckles are white on the steering wheel. “I play soccer but the football team needs a kicker so I’ll be doing that too, probably.”

Maybe he wasn’t just sent here for me after all. “I think maybe I’d like to see you play. Both, I mean.” I glance out the window so I don’t have to see his face when he tells me I can sit with his girlfriend. Or so he won’t see mine. He clears his throat and I turn back to him.

“Maybe some days you can stay after school and check out practice, maybe catch a few games? When I don’t say anything, he hurries on. “I could drive you home afterwards.”

“By the time games end I’m sure my Aunt Kate could come get me so you don’t have to go out of your way.”

“No, I meant, I
want
to take you home after. So you can give me the play-by-play on what you think of my skills,” he says with a wink.

“Hmm, I’ll think about it,” I say, doing my best to keep my voice even though all I’m thinking about are the “skills” of his I’ve already dreamt of.

“H
ey,
Landen?” Layla asks me as we head into school. I can sense her literally shrinking back against the looks we’re getting.

I fight the urge to put my arm around her. Barely. “Yeah?”

“What were you talking about yesterday when you said things were weird here?”

Oh yeah.
That
. My bombed pick up line. So glad she remembered. “Uh, well.” I run a hand through my hair and decide to just lay it out there. “I thought I was going to have to fight someone just to talk to you. I mean, you’re literally the prettiest girl I’ve ever seen in real life and I expected guys to be like, lined up. But you were always alone every time I saw you so…I’ve decided guys here must be blind and dumb.” There, that didn’t sound too bad. I watch her, waiting for her to tell me I don’t have a chance.

She smiles this tiny little smile with only one side of her mouth turning up. Then she bites her lip and her grin widens, lighting up her entire face. And I can’t breathe. No one has ever smiled at me like that. Like I’m the best thing that’s ever happened to them.

“That’s very sweet, minus the fighting part,” she says finally and I exhale.

“Yeah, well, sweet’s not something people usually call me, but from you I’ll take it.”

I watch her roll her eyes. “Gee thanks. And what do people usually call you?”

“It varies. But most of it’s a little harsh for your ears.”

The pouty expression she gives me makes it hard to think straight. “And what do you know about my ears?” she asks as we reach her locker.

“Hmm.” I lean over and tuck her thick hair behind each so I can thoroughly inspect them. And also just to have an excuse to touch her. They’re petite and adorable, just like I expected them to be. “Yep, just as I suspected. Way too delicate to hear some of the things I’ve been called,” I say softly into her right ear. The shiver that runs up her spine shakes us both. For a second, I’m too stunned to speak. Just barely touching her and whispering in her ear made her shiver. Me—I made her shiver. And God help me, I want to do it again and again.

“Landen,” she says softly, and I know I’m screwed. She’s giving me that look, the goodbye look I’ve given girls time and time again.

“My bad,” I say, pulling back. “Sorry I got all in your space. It won’t happen again.” She looks lost, and I want to punch myself for overstepping so soon and making her uncomfortable.

“It’s not that, it’s just—”

“It’s okay. I get it.” I take a full step back. But then she surprises the hell out of me. Right there in the crowded hall, she grabs my shirt and pulls me in close. Much closer than I was to her ears. I’m instantly drunk on the sweet scent of Layla Flaherty. Drowning in her wide ocean-colored eyes. It’s a miracle I’m still upright.

“It’s just, I don’t really have friends here. I haven’t had a friend in a long time. I like you, Landen. A lot. And I want to be friends.”

I’m fucking ecstatic to be this close to her. But the friend word keeps cutting into me. I work hard to form a coherent thought while lost in the depths of her open vulnerable stare. “I want to be friends too, Layla. And I think I might like to be more than that. But if you’re not interested—”

“I’m interested,” she says, cutting me off as her eyes flash and burn into me. “But I might not be…ready for something like that.”

“Then I’ll just stick around until you are ready,” I tell her with a grin. Her muscles visibly relax and I risk taking a step closer. “Patience has never been my greatest skill though, but I promise to give it my best shot.”

“And what is your greatest skill?” She’s backed up against her locker, and I want so badly to show her the answer to that question.

“I’ll show you. When you’re ready.”