Keep Me (9 page)

Laugh, Tessa, laugh!
It was time to reel it in and propel things back to the way they were before. Before I was the one to break all the rules. If I wound up with my friend’s player brother in my bed I’d also wind up with a world full of regrets. “I think I need a cold shower.”

“Maybe I can join you.” He was relentless.
God, what a turn on.

“Marcus!”

“I’m kidding, Tessa. But that kiss. Damn, girl. I won’t be getting much sleep tonight.” He picked up the keys from where they lay on the ground between us. As he handed them to me, his skin touched mine, bringing with it a thousand little tingles of electricity.
Shit! This is bad.

I snatched them from him and unlocked the door, taking a deep breath and brushing off the craziness that was spinning around me. “You’ll sleep like a baby and so will I. Now get your butt inside, wash up and go the hell to bed. It’s late, we’re exhausted and I have to be up early for my son.”

As we entered my house, Marcus followed, his warm, minty breath at my ear. His tongue reaching out to tease the lobe as he whispered, “Did I ever tell you I like my women bossy?”

Ohgod, ohgod, ohgod!
Focus!

I took out the money to pay the sitter, handed it to her and stalked my way upstairs. “Good night and thank you, Trish, you know the way out. Couch is over there, Marcus. Bathroom’s the second door on the right. Nighty night, don’t let the bed bugs bite.”

I left the two of them staring up at me like I’d lost my marbles. But I’d lost a lot more than that and it was all because of Marcus. Everything I’d worked for in the last six months was slowly vanishing. My dignity, my independence, my morals. And the worst part was… it felt good.

The bright morning sun crept its way through the tiny cracks in the blinds. I sprawled out across the bed, stretching and yawning and enjoying that I’d woken up on my own accord and not to the wailing of…

“Luca!” I jumped up out of the bed and ran to Luca’s nursery. When I found his crib empty, the room absent of his yummy morning smell and the sound of his pleasant after-slumber cooing my heart sank to my toes. Tears pricked my eyes and a strangling lump formed in my throat. My thoughts were rampant and illogical as I tossed stuffed animals and blankets and pillows as if he were hiding from me.

“LUCA!” I shrieked, screaming like it would make him appear. My worst nightmare was coming true. My baby boy was gone. Zack took him from me! It was the only explanation. My heart thudded so violently that the blood that kept it pumping was deafening. The panic that took over my body was so powerful that it hindered every one of my senses. I was incoherent to the sound of the voice coming from the man trying to shake me out of my paralysis.

When I noticed he was holding my son—my happy, laughing, here-in-the-flesh son—I came to, relieved. “Give him to me, please!” I snatched Luca out of the strong, tattooed arms that cradled him, kissing his chubby cheeks, his wiggly arms and the entire length of him until I felt he was covered in my affection. Tears dampened my face, plastering long strands of hair to my skin. I squeezed Luca so tight he started to cry, too.

“Jesus, Tessa, you okay?”

I gulped back a sob and tried to compose myself. “I thought he was taken.” Saying the words aloud made the situation that much more grave. I resumed my kiss attack on my son, inhaling him as if it was some kind of reunion.

“Taken? Who would…” Marcus trailed off, scratching his head. His eyes wore a heartwarming mixture of concern, fear and bewilderment. “I’m sorry, Tess. I heard him get up and you were still sleeping and I thought…”

Heart rate finally back to normal, I answered him calmly. “It’s okay, Marcus. Really. It’s not your fault. I overreacted and overslept and…” And must’ve completely forgotten that Marcus spent the night on my couch.

“I would’ve never… I mean, if I knew…”

I’d scared him half to death and made a fool out of myself in the meantime. And suddenly his glowing morning appearance was the reason for my shortness of breath. His chest was bare, the muscular ridges of his perfect physique accented by incredible artwork of all different colors, sizes and shapes. He wore the same jeans from the night before, hanging on his hips and revealing the most defined—and delectable—v-shaped abdomen I’d ever had the pleasure of witnessing. The terror that ripped through me moments ago was replaced by something that scared me still. Wanting. Craving. Longing.

“Mama. Mama.”

My attention no longer cemented on Marcus, I squealed, “What? What did you just say, Luca man?”

Luca was focused on the stuffed bear in his hands, sucking on its nose and then shaking it in the air.

“He said something?” Mr. Shirtless and Gorgeous stood there confused.

“Yes! Didn’t you hear him? He just said mama. Didn’t you, buddy? Didn’t you?” I couldn’t control the baby talk now. I was elated.

“So he mumbled a sound that most babies use to describe everything from the poop in their diaper to the booger in their nose. What’s the big deal?”

I shook my head, sneering at the gorgeous dimwit in front of me. “The big deal is that’s the first time he’s said it and he isn’t talking about a booger, wiseass. He was talking to
me
.”

“If you say so. And just so you know, there is definitely shit… I mean, poop, in that diaper of his.”

Laughing at Marcus and his failed attempt at domestication I walked over to the changing table and laid Luca down to clean him up. “I’m sorry about before. I didn’t mean to sound like a nutcase.”

Marcus kept his distance as I lifted Luca’s legs in the air and used a baby wipe to erase his mess. “No need to explain. I shouldn’t have taken him out of his room without asking you, but you looked so peaceful and I was up. I just…”

“It was sweet. Really. I appreciate it.”
He
was sweet. The gesture was endearing and I should be thanking him for it.

“Not as much as I appreciate your lack of pants right now.”

What? Oh shit!
“Oh my God. My pants. Get out… I mean, go downstairs. Damn it,
Marcus
!” In my panic stricken state I’d run straight into Luca’s room without pulling on my pajama bottoms. I was standing in front of Tall, Dark and Shirtless in nothing but a skimpy t-shirt and a thong!

“Nothing to be embarrassed about, you look hot!” he called from downstairs.

Yeah, right. Nothing to be embarrassed about. First I make out with him all night, then I cop a feel, then I have a panic attack, and now my whole ass was hanging out for him to see. “Luca, Mommy is a mess.”

When I got to the living room—after I put on a pair of pants, brushed my teeth and threw on a bra—I met Marcus, who was now wearing his shirt, at the couch.

“Listen…” I started, but he quickly interrupted.

“Listen, nothing. Let’s not make any of this awkward. We had a good time last night, without actually having a
good time
. I don’t regret a second of it. Especially not the visual you left me with this morning.”

I shot him a look as if to say
tread lightly, buddy
.

“But nothing’s changed. You’re still the same hot, Tessie Spano and I’m still the same devastatingly handsome
little
Marcus Grayson. All’s good in the hood. No harm no foul.”

I wanted to believe this was true with every single bone in my body, but after last night and how he made me feel while kissing him, everything was changing.

“Bro?” What I was about to ask Beck was something I never thought would leave my lips… ever.

“Yeah?”

“What’s it like to be pussy whipped?”

Beck threw me a glare that read, ‘
enough already, man!
’

But I wasn’t kidding this time. I really needed to understand the feelings that went hand in hand with being pussy whi… okay, maybe a better terminology for it was
attached.
“I’m serious, Beck. What’s it like to have a… girl? You know,
one.
The kind you don’t fuck around on, the kind you… date?”

The smirk that curled on the bastard’s lips made me want to chuck the dart at him instead of the green and white board.

“Marcus fucking Grayson. A chick’s got those designer panties of yours in a bunch? Who is she? I need to meet the woman with the golden pussy.”

His face was looking more like the dartboard with each snide remark. I wanted to plunge the sharp metal into his neck for talking about Tessa that way.
What the fuck was she doing to me?
“Don’t ever talk about…
her
… like that again. Got it?”

He backed up from our game, hands in the air. “
Ho-ly shit
! Sorry, but… fuck, Marcus, this is epic. I never thought I’d live to see the day that you’d be defending a girl
or
asking me for advice on dating.” He laughed and took a swig of his beer then shook his head.
Would it be that mind boggling for me to settle down?
Thoughts of all the nasty, dickish things I’d said to Beck about Marissa in the past taunted me. I’d put him through a lot of shit, and why? Because he found someone who made him happy. Someone worth ditching the douchebag lifestyle and settling down. I was an ass and it took these unexplainable feelings about Tessa to make me realize it.

“Nah, man. Sorry. I’m just…” I joined Beck at the high-top table and took a swig of my Blue Moon. “I can’t stop thinking about her. It’s crazy. I’ve never, I mean
never,
thought twice about a girl, let alone thought about a future with one. But she…” I raked my fingers through my hair and played with the peeling label on the bottle. “I’m all fucked up.”

Beck gripped the back of my neck and squeezed, hard. “This, my friend, is pussy whipped. Doesn’t it feel good?”

I shrugged his hand away, irritated. “
Good
? How is this good? I haven’t even slept with her and all I can think about is just being
near
her again.”

Beck backed up this time, maybe readying himself for the blow that would ensue after his sarcastic comment. “Wait a fucking minute. You’re telling me you haven’t even banged the girl and you’re in knots?
Shit!
I think I’m speechless.”

“Shut the hell up, Beck. I know I sound like a babbling… girl, but you have to tell me what to do!” I felt frantic, totally unraveled, and he was the only guy—okay only half-decent guy—I knew and trusted to help me plunge into the unchartered, foreign territory of feelings. I was a mess and I couldn’t do this the right way without some guidance.

After ordering another round, Beck pulled up a stool for me and then one for himself. Did this type of conversation really require a seat?
Fuck.

“So who is this girl who’s single-handedly unmanned you?”

It was only the first question and already I was fumbling. Did I tell him the truth? Would he judge me? Would it get back to Riley?
Damn, Riley!
“It doesn’t matter… it won’t work.” I couldn’t go through with this. It was a disaster waiting to happen because I’d never done the dating thing and was bound to suck at it. If I screwed up yet another of Riley’s friendships, she’d have my head—probably both of them. I couldn’t send another one of her friends running. And I couldn’t bear the idea of hurting Tessa.

“Why, is she married? Underage? Fat?”

“No, dick. None of the above. She’s divorced, older than me, and definitely not fat.” Images of her in the thong yesterday morning had me shifting uncomfortably in my bar stool.

“So then what’s the problem? Sometimes you have to do what
feels
right, Marcus.”

It seemed simple enough, but the situation was anything but. “It’s complicated, Beck.”

“Elaborate… I don’t have all night.” Of course he didn’t—he had a girlfriend to get home to.

I wanted to tell him about Tessa, give him all the details. He’d always been a trustworthy friend. I could count on his loyalty to me over Riley. Man code had to come in handy for something like secret crushes on your sister’s friend. “It’s Tessa.” As her name escaped my mouth I couldn’t help but smile. Everything about her gave me the warm and fuzzies.

“Riley’s Tessa? Shit, that
is
complicated.”

Even he’d labeled her as my sister’s. Why couldn’t she be
my
Tessa? “So what do I do?”