Keep Her (39 page)

“You have to do this for me, Tess. I need to talk to her. I can’t snoop through Beck’s stuff because it will only make me look worse, but you—all you have to do it check Marcus’s phone. I know he has her number in there. I
need
to talk to Marissa.” That bitch needed to be put in her place.

Beck had been so distant and weird since our fight at the office the other day. We’d worked it out after I swore up and down and tried to redeem myself, but something was still off. He was still not himself. And it was all that bitch’s fault!

“Do you really think it’s a good idea, Ry?” Tessa peered over the pile of Luca’s clean laundry with a disapproving glare.

Oh, screw that
. I didn’t need her disapproval. I needed her to help! “Why wouldn’t it be?”

“Well, for starters, you’re pregnant. You don’t need her upsetting you and stressing you out.”

“I’m pregnant, Tess, not a piece of glass. I’ll be fine. Besides, I’m already stressed out enough over this. Talking to her will make it go away—so would pulling her fucking fake red hair out of her head, too—but I’m not about to start a cat fight, preggers and all.”

Standing to place the tiny paired-up socks in the laundry basket, she shrugged. “You should ask Beck. Tell him you want to meet with her. Together. I think that’s the safest bet. If you go behind his back and he finds out—”

No! No! No!
Not her too! “I already asked him to do that. He said no. He doesn’t want to risk an altercation. I get it. He’s worried about the baby, but I’m worried about
him.
He’s not himself, Tess. She ruined that for us. She made him think I’m a liar. I need to prove her wrong.”

I would not let her win. I’d already tried to get in touch with Griffin, but I was unsuccessful. There was no way to reach him by phone and I had no idea when he’d be back in the States. I couldn’t wait a second longer to clear this up, to make it right. It was nagging at me like a festering sore. The more I picked at it, the worse it got.

I was innocent in all this. I couldn’t allow Beck to think for one more day that I was pulling the wool over his eyes. He said he believed me, but I wasn’t sold. I would not let Marissa ruin what Beck and I had worked so hard for. I couldn’t believe I was in this predicament all because of that jealous bitch.

“Please, Tess? I wouldn’t beg if I wasn’t desperate. If I promise to keep it civil and under control will you please, please, pretty please get me her number?” I clasped my hands together. Luca thought I was clapping so he started his own happy commotion, distracting me and Tessa from the matter at hand.

“Fiiiine,” she drawled out. “But none of this comes back to me or Marcus. I don’t need to start a family war. We’re all a close knit crew; siblings, BFFs, and little spawn. I don’t want to spoil the good thing we have going. Got it?”

“Tess, this won’t spoil a thing except for that rotten witch’s plans to sabotage my relationship with Beck. You’re the best. I can’t thank you enough.”

That night, Tessa sent me a text with Marissa’s contact.

Tessa:
Make sure you erase all evidence of where this came from. Good luck.

Me:
Love you, chica. My lips are sealed.

Tessa:
It’s not your lips I’m worried about. It’s your phone history. DELETE DELETE DELETE

Me:
K, boss.

Tessa:
Let me know what happens.

As soon as I ended the conversation with Tessa, I dialed Marissa’s number.

“Hello?” she answered after a few rings. I guess she wasn’t one of those to screen unknown calls. Lucky me. It made my life a lot easier.

“Hi, Marissa. It’s your new BFF, Riley. How’s it going?” I sounded so fake it was almost comical. I wanted to call her a million different obscenities, but I could handle this with grace, if I dug down deep enough.

“What do
you
want?” She growled like the beast she was.

“It seems we have a bit of an issue. I wanted to clear it up before it got out of hand.”

“I’m not helping you do anything, Riley. The sooner you realize it’s not going to last with you and Beck, the better for both of us.” Snarky witch. I’d show her, but first… more Grayson gracefulness.

“Is that what you really think? Listen, Marissa. I’m truly sorry if you’re hurt or upset over losing Beck, but just so you know, the two of us didn’t start anything up until you were out of the picture.”

“Just so
you
know, I was never
out
of the picture. Did Beck tell you that he was at my place two weeks ago, on Saturday?”

She couldn’t be telling the truth. How could she be? And if she was—I did the mental math in my head, calculating that the night she was talking about was the night I was attacked by Zack. “More lies, Marissa? Is that how this is gonna go? Beck was with Ramos that night, helping him put together the furniture for the nursery.”

“Sure, he was there—
before
he came here. I invited him over to watch the playoff game with me and Griffin. He came by for a few hours. We had a nice time.” I could hear her smirk through the phone. I couldn’t confirm or deny what she was saying until I spoke to Beck. I wasn’t going to take her word over his. She was no one to me. I’d give him the benefit of the doubt and the chance to tell me otherwise before I thought the worst.

“You know what, Marissa? Nothing you say holds any validity with me
or
Beck anymore. If you could lie to him about our baby just to get him to come back to you, I don’t even want to know what else you’re capable of. I called you to tell you to back off. Your plan failed. I
still
have Beck. He
still
loves me.
I’ll
be the one sleeping in his bed tonight. So you can cut the shit and leave us alone. And as soon as your brother gets home from his trip, I’ll be having a chat with him and Beck so he can tell him right to his face what a liar you are.” It was as if I’d said it all in one breath. I sucked in the air through my nose to fill my lungs again. It felt good to get it off my chest.

But her obnoxious, villain-like laugh knocked me back down to size.

“You have no idea what—or
who
—you’re messing with, Grayson. If I tell Griffin to lie about sleeping with you… he will. He’ll do anything for me. Always has. All I have to do is say the word and he’ll tell Beck whatever
I
tell him to say.”

“You piece of shit!” Grace was officially gone. This was absurd. Unheard of. It was practically criminal. Why hadn’t I recorded this phone conversation? Why? Because who knew I was dealing with a mental case? There was no reasoning with her and no use wasting my breath or my time trying to do so. So instead, I just told her where to go. “Marissa. Leave. Us. Alone. Get your own life and fuck off.”

“Good night, Riley. I’m sure I’ll be hearing from you again.”

I hung up the phone so irritated and flustered I had to pace my angora rug in the living room in order to get my heart rate back to normal. This was why Tessa didn’t want me talking to Marissa. This was why Beck told me no when I asked to meet with her. Feeling this way wasn’t good for me, and what wasn’t good for me wasn’t good for my baby.

Feeling guilty for putting my baby in harm and going against Beck’s wishes, I picked up the phone and dialed my boyfriend.

“Hey, sweet thing. What’s up?”

“Please come here. I don’t feel right. I don’t think it’s anything to worry about, but… I spoke to Marissa and it’s my turn to ask the questions now.”

I was trained to deal with shit like this. I was qualified to handle stressful situations and remain composed while doing so. But hearing that something might be wrong with Riley or the baby—I could barely see straight, let alone keep my nerves calm.

There was nothing like this fear—an uncontrollable, all-consuming terror that something could go wrong and nothing I did would prevent it. Wishing I was on the rig so I could switch on the sirens and run every red light, I prayed my girls were okay.

I sped through the city, dodging the turtle fucking drivers as I weaved my way through the unexplainable evening traffic. By the time I made it to Riley’s, a cold sweat soaked though my V-neck. In my haste to get to her, I forgot to grab a jacket so the cool fall air brought a shiver down my spine as I ran up the steps to her front door. I’d double parked on the narrow street and the possibility of a ticket or a tow was pretty great, but I didn’t give a fuck. I needed to get to Riley and make sure she was okay.

“Riles, open the door.” I banged on the wood as I pressed the doorbell down. “Baby, hurry. You’re freaking me out.”

When the door finally swung open, I took in her unusually haggard appearance and bum rushed the threshold to take her in my arms. Kissing her head and holding her close, I nearly cried, “Are you okay? Is the baby okay? Let’s go to the emergency room. We have to make sure everything’s right.”

Pulling away from me and closing the door behind us, she motioned to the living room. “Calm down, Beck. I’m fine. I just got off the phone with Betsy. She walked me through a few breathing exercises and told me to have a cup of chamomile tea. I feel better already. Well, physically at least.”

“Thank God.” I breathed an actual sigh of relief. Other than looking a little frazzled, mismatched and…
angry
… she was in one piece and seemed to be walking around just fine. “This is why we can’t keep spending our nights apart. When I’m not at the firehouse, we need to be together. I’ll move the rest of my stuff in this week. I can’t worry about not being here when you need me. It’s too much. I nearly had a heart attack on the way here, worrying sick about you. The both of you.” I deflated onto the couch, slouching against the soft cushions. After taking in a few more calming breaths, I patted the seat beside me, inviting Riley to sit with me.

Instead of joining me, she stood with her arms crossed against her body. “Nice to know you were worried sick—what a wonderful caring boyfriend you are, Beck. I wish you felt the same when I was passed out on Tessa’s floor because that psycho slammed
his gun
across my head. But instead of protecting me and being with
me
when it mattered most, you were with
her
. Were you fucking worried sick then, Beck? Or do you think it’s okay that you were watching a fucking ball game with that bitch while I was fighting for my life?”

How the hell did she find out?

The guilt over this exact thing had been eating me up. There were nights I literally tossed and turned and lost sleep over being at Marissa’s that night instead of with Riley at Tessa’s. Had I ignored Marissa’s call and gone there earlier, I could have protected her from Zack. I could have saved her from what he did to her. It was something I had to live with every day. It was something I struggled with confessing to her every day. It was something I’d decided to keep buried and locked inside me every day. I knew that if she ever found out, she’d react this way. She had every right to hate me for betraying her like this. She had every right to resent me for not doing what any good man should do for the woman he loved—defend her, guard her, and be truthful with her.