Keep Her (19 page)

He glared at me, dragging in heavy breaths. “I can’t just sit here and wait and make her think I don’t care. I’ve never told her I love her. I have to tell her, Beck. I can’t live another minute without telling her.”

The pain showed through his eyes, seeped through his words, and as much as I felt that pain for him, he needed to give it time—at least until the morning—until he went chasing after her.

“You’ll get to tell her, bro. I promise. Didn’t I promise you last night?”

He nodded his head, slumping his shoulders. This dude was still not sober and probably emotionally exhausted from having his heart ripped out. I needed to get him back to sleep so he was in a better way tomorrow. “Come on,” I said, ushering him to the staircase. “Go back to sleep. Get a good night’s rest and tomorrow’s a new day. ‘Kay, asshat?”

Conceding, he held onto the banister and started walking up the steps one by one. When he was halfway up and I was feeling like a champ for getting him to listen, he turned around, shaking his head. “I’ll tell ya one thing, Beck.”

“What’s that?” I asked, curious. Marcus was never that enlightening, so I could only imagine what he’d taken from all of this.

“It’s damn near impossible to live without something you love. I learned that lesson the hard way with my mother and I’m in fucking agony right now thinking I’ve lost Tessa. And I know you, man. You’re a good guy. You love with your whole heart. So, be smart. Whatever shit is going on with you and Marissa, fuck it… work it out. I know now how much you love her and need her. Don’t let that slip away.”

After he was done with his speech, he turned and walked up the rest of the steps, entering his bedroom and shutting the door behind him. I was left at the foot of the stairs, completely baffled.

Marcus had never given me advice on life or love. He wasn’t a deep thoughts kind of guy. But the one damn time he chose to go all Dr. Phil on me, he had to mention Marissa—and after I’d just put her behind me and decided to move on with his
sister.

It wasn’t that I was having second thoughts about Riley or that I was thinking about getting back together with Marissa. But I was all kinds of worked up by what he’d said. If I announced to him tomorrow morning that Riley and I were together, that we were starting a relationship out of the blue, he would never understand it. He thought I was technically still with Marissa. He would assume I cheated on her with Riley. He’d think I was acting on impulse rather than true emotions. He’d think it was only sex. He’d accuse me of being an asshole for jumping from one girl that I supposedly loved and wanted to spend the rest of my life with up until seven days ago, to his innocent, sweet sister.

I’d want to kick my ass, too, if the tables were turned!

If there was one thing I didn’t want to do in all of this, it was hide my feelings for Riley. Oh, that and hurt her. And telling her that we had to hide our relationship and sneak around until we figured out a way to ease Marcus into things—yeah, that was going to sting no matter how pretty I made it sound. “Fuck,” I huffed, exhausted and frustrated and just plain stumped.

Marcus had made a point with his little speech about not letting what you want slip away. Only thing he was wrong about was the girl. It was good in the hood to encourage me to go after the girl when the girl was Marissa, but would he be so encouraging when he found out who I truly wanted was Riley? Yeah, I didn’t know about that.

I couldn’t think about this shit right now. It wasn’t the time or place. So instead I went to the fridge and grabbed a water bottle, downing it as I made my way back upstairs to the guest bedroom.

The bedroom was at the end of the hallway, past Marcus’s, the bathroom, and across from Riley’s. Marcus’s door was closed shut, but Riley’s was open just a crack. I approached the room with trepidation—I wanted to barge in there and crawl back into bed with her, wrapping my arms around her until we woke up together in the morning. Unfortunately, we’d have to delay our adult slumber party until Marcus wasn’t under the same roof.

I inched closer to the room to check if she was still awake. I told myself it didn’t matter if she was or wasn’t—I couldn’t risk going back in there no matter what. Aw, fuck, who was I kidding? If she was awake, I was going back in there to give her a kiss that would hold us over until we were able to be alone again.

But luckily, or unluckily, however you decided to look at it, she was sound asleep with her hands tucked adorably underneath her cheek, curled in the fetal position. She was beautiful—and not just beautiful in that peaceful, sleeping angel way. Her presence alone lit up that dim room even as she slept, reminding me of all the things I already couldn’t get enough of.

The next morning I woke up to the sound of crashing and cursing. It took me a minute to figure out what was going on and where I was, but when my eyes adjusted to the bright light, I remembered everything—and that explained the ruckus going on downstairs.

Jumping out of bed, I bypassed the T-shirt that lay where I threw it after waking in a sweat from a rather interesting dream—one starring Riley and me as the main characters. Flinging the door open, I flew down the steps.

Riley sat at the kitchen table with her head in her hands, crying. Marcus was tearing the kitchen apart in search of… something. I wanted to run to her and comfort her and then smack the shit out of Marcus for making her upset. Instead I added to the noise. “What the fuck, man? Look at this mess! What the hell are you looking for?”

Riley’s head popped up when she heard my voice. Her eyes were wet with tears, her face red and blotchy from crying. She was still breathtaking, even more so after the night we spent together. I gave her a friendly nod when I saw that Marcus was watching me, but when he turned around to continue his tirade, I winked and smiled, bringing a shy smile to her own lips.

“Where the fuck are they, Riley? What the hell did you do with my fucking keys?”

Riley sat stoically at the table. She didn’t turn around, she didn’t raise her voice. “She doesn’t want to see you right now, Marcus. I’m not gonna let you drive like a lunatic to go home to someone who’s only going to kick you back out. Give her time. Leave her alone,” she said, as if she’d said it a million times already.

This only seemed to make Marcus more irate. He wasn’t taking no for an answer, and he was taking it out on the pots and pans. And Riley. “Bitch!” he yelled as he rummaged around. (He was getting closer to the Devil Dog box, dammit). I wanted to run over to him and punch him in the face for talking to her like that when all she was trying to do was protect him. I had to be cool and inconspicuous, but I didn’t have to stand for him talking to his sister that way. “Hey, calm the fuck down. It’s not her fault, so don’t take it out on her.”

He stormed toward me with his hands clenched at his sides. I’d seen him like this before and there was no reasoning with him when he was going off the deep end. I didn’t want it to come to blows, especially not in front of Riley. So as he got in my face, cursing and yelling about how I had no idea what I was talking about and that I was being a dick for keeping him from her, I took a deep breath, swallowed my pride, and simply backed away with my hands on his chest. “Dude! I’m not gonna say it again. Calm. The. Fuck. Down.”

Riley was at my side now, her hand on my shoulder. There was nothing suspicious about the minor physical contact. An outsider would see it as a friend trying to ease a heated situation and prevent a fight. But even the slightest touch of her hand on my bare shoulder had me wanting to reach out and hold it there. I glanced at her, biting my lip to suppress any sound that might escape me, and then quickly looked away.

Sensing the frustration that not being able to respond to her touch was bringing me, she dropped her hand and stood between me and Marcus. “Enough. Beck. Why don’t you two go for a run or something? I think he needs to exert some of this energy. I’ll clean up his mess—can’t fucking wait—and you talk some sense into him about leaving Tessa be.”

“I don’t
want
to leave her be. I want to apologize to her and she’s not answering my fucking phone calls!” He was so tense, a good, sweaty run around the lake was probably the best thing for him right now.

“She’s right, Marcus. Let’s get some fresh air, sweat out the stress, and then by the time we get back and pack up we can head home, beat the traffic, and maybe Riley will have heard from Tessa by then.” It was like coddling a toddler. I’d bet Luca was easier to talk to than he was.

Rolling his eyes and raking his fingers through his messed-up hair, he finally calmed down and gave in. “Fine! I’ll be ready and down in ten.”

He stalked off, ignoring the humongous mess and the sour mood he’d managed to create.

When he was gone and I heard the door to his bedroom slam shut, I turned to Riley and wrapped my arms around her. “You okay, babe?”

“Yeah, I’m fine,” she sighed against my neck. “He’s out of control. I’ve never seen him like this, B. I’m worried.”

Stepping back and appraising her concerned features, I tucked a hair behind her ear and pulled her close to me, trying to comfort her. “He’ll be fine. He’s just in love. Love can make you do some crazy ass things sometimes, right?”

“The craziest,” she giggled.

I didn’t want to prod or push, or take this to a place it was nowhere near yet, but by her giggle and the redness in her cheeks I could see she was thinking the same thing that had crossed my mind.
Love.
It certainly was the cause for some epic, unexplained behavior. And right now, tangled in each other’s arms, our lips inches apart, the stiffness in my pants growing harder and harder—we were acting pretty fucking crazy.

“This isn’t a good idea. He can come down any second,” I whispered, my nose touching hers.

“You’re right; he might find us,” she whispered back, still not backing away.

“And if he was mad before, just imagine how mad he’ll be when he sees my hands all over his sister’s…” I dropped my hands to her ass, gripping the perfect round cheeks with a pinch.

“Ow!” she squealed and then repeated the same motions with her hands on my ass. “B?” she finally asked, nipping at my neck.

“What, sweet thing?” I pulled her tighter against me. I never wanted to let go. In fact, I wanted to take this a little further—okay, a lot further—upstairs.

“When do we get to see each other again? I can’t go another week with just sexts and phone calls. Plus, now that we have to keep it a secret—”

I pulled back, a little confused. I knew we had to keep it a secret. I had intentions of talking to her about it today. I’d originally thought it would take a lot of convincing and sweet talking to make her understand that I wasn’t treating her like some illicit affair, but rather was protecting her and
us
from judgment. But hearing her speak my concerns out in the open and totally doubtless about it too—God, this woman got better by the second.

“Hey,” she asked, taking inventory of the mixed emotions playing across my face. “You’re not mad that I said that, are you?”

“No, I’m not mad at all.” I said, kissing her right below her ear.

“Then why are you quiet?”

“Because you’re amazing and I need to soak it all in, babe.”

“What’s so amazing about me telling my equally amazing… lover… that we have to keep our feelings private from everyone we know and love? I’m not ashamed of this at all, you know? It has nothing to do with how I feel about—”

“Shhh,” I said, placing a finger at her lips. “I know. I get it and I couldn’t agree more. Now come here and give me a kiss before he comes stalking back down here like a mad dog.”

With that she shut up and allowed me to take her in my arms and show her exactly how amazing she was.

When Marcus came back downstairs it was almost impossible not to laugh like two kids who were hiding something from their parents. Throwing each other knowing glances here and there, I pretended to help her clean up.

“Why the fuck aren’t you ready? You waiting for an engraved invitation?”
Such fucking couth, Marcus. You’re really helping your cause.

“I was helping Riley clean up your tantrum, asshole. All I need is five minutes to get on a shirt and my sneakers.” I stacked another pile of napkins on the counter, brushing my arm against Riley’s in the meanwhile.

She looked back to Marcus, who was lacing up his shoes and whispered toward me, “Ask him for ten and I’ll make it worth your while.”