Kedrigern in Wanderland (20 page)

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Authors: John Morressy

Tags: #Fantasy, #Humour

BOOK: Kedrigern in Wanderland
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talk that way. Shanzie remembered the whole story, didn’t he?”

“He did not. He didn’t know about William and Alice, and he didn’t even know that I’d been turned into a sword. He was very inaccurate.”

“He had the general idea. And apparently people do expect you to come back.”

“I
have
come back, and look what l’ve found! Dirt, cobwebs, ruination
. . .
not a sign of Hedvig or her descendants
. . .
no archives, or annals, or cryptic messages, nothing!”

“Cheer up, Louise. When Keddie gets here, things will start looking up. Meanwhile, let’s relax.”

Relax they did. Shanzie dutifully cleared a pleasant little room off the great hall. He built up a good fire and brought in armfuls of soft fragrant evergreen branches which Princess arranged into a comfortable mattress. A simple spell kept the spiders, mice, beetles, and other small creatures at a proper distance; another sealed the rickety door and kept out the noise and dust of Shanzie’s sweeping and swabbing. Princess slept soundly, undisturbed from sunset to dawn, and lay cozily woolgathering until full light.

Noise from below indicated that Shanzie was already at work. She breakfasted lightly from her own stores, then went to check on his progress. He had made the upper level look, if not exactly tidy, at least much more respectable than it had upon her arrival.

Shanzie was less apprehensive this morning. He seemed to have accepted the fact that he now worked for a winged lady who carried a talking sword and traveled on a horse that one could see through, and having settled that in his mind, he concentrated on doing his work well. Around midday, he brought a wild fowl to Princess and spitted it over the fire. When it was done, she told him that he might take his meal with her. Squatting on the floor beside her chair, he ate rapidly and noisily, appetite overcoming any lingering misgivings about his new mistress. When he

violent efforts, but were intact, and now rusted almost to solidity.

“What about this?” Princess asked, holding the sword up for a close look.

“I remember this chest. I was standing just before it when that evil old wizard enchanted me. But there’s nothing of any importance in it. We used to store arrases and worn-out state robes in it,” said Louise dully.

“It won’t hurt to look inside.”

“It won’t
help.”

“Well, we don’t know what might have been put in it after you were all enchanted, do we?” Princess pointed out. When Louise made no reply, she turned back her sleeves and said, “So let’s have a look.”

She laid her hand on the rough cold lockplate, center of the three, closed her eyes tightly, and frowned in deep concentration. After a time her lips began to move, but no sound came forth. She stopped and took a step back, blinking and breathing deeply, as after strenuous physical exertion. From within the lockplate came a reluctant creak, as rusted metal moved after a century’s idleness. The sound rose to an ear-piercing screech, then ended in a sudden clang. With a bright smile, Princess said, “So much for
that.
Get the lid back, Shanzie, and let’s see what’s inside.’’

Awed, Shanzie thrust the base of his torch in the soft dirt and gripped the edge of the lid with both hands. Still more squealing of rustbound metal followed as he urged the heavy lid up and up until it left his hands and tilted backwards from its own weight, rocking the entire chest and sending Shanzie skipping quickly aside in fright. He took up the torch and raised it high. He and Princess inched forward to peek into the chest.

“Just a lot of old clothes, my lady,” Shanzie announced.

“I told you that’s all you’d find,” said Louise.

“It’s not a total loss. Shanzie, find yourself a new outfit. Anything’s bound to be better than those filthy rags you’ve got on.”

He came out of the operation with the makings of a splendid outfit.

“I’m sorry, Louise,” said Princess, taking up the sword.

“Never mind, Princess. I didn’t really expect to find them. I’m happy to have found Wanda. Let’s get her upstairs.”

With a curt nod to Louise, Princess turned to Shanzie. “Take what you need, and put the rest back in the chest. And be sure you take a bath before you put the new things on,” she directed him.

“A bath, my lady? Is that like a book?” he asked, mystified.

She sighed. “No, Shanzie. A bath is taking off all your rags and getting into water and scrubbing yourself until you’re clean.”

“I never did that, my lady,” he said guardedly.

“I can tell. Do it before you put those clothes on.”

Leaving the apprehensive Shanzie, Princess and Louise returned to their chamber. Princess laid Wanda gently on her bed of pine boughs, placing her so the sun shone full on her.

“Nothing to do now but wait,” she said.

“I do hope Wanda comes around soon,” said Louise, sounding worried. “I hope she’s all right. She’s so still. So quiet.
. .“

“The poor thing’s been in that chest for a hundred years, Louise. You can’t expect her to be chatty and bright.”

“That’s true, I suppose. And she was always a shy girl.”

They waited. Midday came, and Princess lunched lightly, and there was still no activity on Wanda’s part. As the afternoon wore on, Louise became so anxious that Princess cradled the wand in her arms .like a baby, and walked about the great hail crooning to it. This made her feel foolish. She stopped and sat by the fireplace, and as she rested, Shanzie burst in. He looked quite different with a good wash and elegant clothes on, all scarlet and green and gold, with ruffles and ribbon, slashes and sashes, and a great plumed bonnet, but his manner was unchanged. He was beside himself with fear.

“My lady, my lady! Horsemen! Ever so many of them! Here!” he burbied.

“Horsemen? How many?”

“Ever so many, my lady, and they’re all big and angry-looking, and all of them dressed in black! They’re coming to the castle, my lady! We must flee!”

“No need to fret,” said Louise coolly. “Just leave everything to me. And remember: I’m Panstygia.”

Princess tucked the wand away, rose, took a couple of practice swings with Panstygia, and then strode to the center of the room. With the sword in her hands, its point resting on the floorboards, and the wand safe in her girdle, she waited.

The first thing she heard was the voices, as men shouted commands back and forth. Soon she heard footsteps below, then ascending the stone steps. One by one, men in black issued from the stairwell. They stared at her, but said nothing, either in threat or greeting. Princess counted twenty, and they kept coming. “Can you handle this many?” she whispered.

“Easily,” the sword assured her.

There were thirty of them now, perhaps more. They spread out to encircle Princess, still without speaking a word. One last man joined them, bigger than the rest. He, too, was in black. A slender gold band ringed his right arm. Slung behind him was a round iron shield. In his right hand he clasped an iron mace. The black scabbard at his side was empty.

“Who are you, and what do you mean by bursting in here like this?” Princess asked with icy dignity.

“Insolent woman! Wretched usurper! Thief!” the man in black responded.

“You’d better watch your language,” Princess said.

“Villainess!” he snarled. Baring his teeth in a ferocious grimace, he raised his mace and sprang for her.

“Yes, my lady. Thank you, my lady!”

Shanzie groped about, found a fine embroidered jerkin, and pulled it forth. He studied it with delight, turning it this way and that, to make the golden threads and crystal buttons and scarlet silk glitter in the torchlight. With a grateful glance at Princess, he draped the jerkin over the lid and rummaged deeper. As he dragged aside a heavy arras, a beam of light shot up from the depths of the chest. Shanzie sprang away, startled. The arras fell back, and the light was gone.

“Hold that torch high, Shanzië,” Princess ordered, stepping up to the chest and digging in.

She pushed aside a cloak and a huge fur-trimmed hat, seized the arras, and tugged. The light shone forth again, and Princess, with a triumphant shout, reached for the source. She straightened and turned. In her hand was a slender wand, gold and ivory, with a glowing crystal star at its top.

“Wanda!” Louise cried.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes! I’d know her anywhere. Oh, Wanda, poor dear innocent! It's all my fault for making that foul old man angry! Wanda, can you forgive me? Say you forgive me!” Louise wailed.

The wand was silent. Princess spoke to it softly, even shook it, very gently, but it did not respond.

“She’s been in there for a long time. You can hardly expect her to come around right away,” said Princess.

Eagerly Louise said, “Yes, of course. We must be patient. She’ll be all right, I’m sure. We just have to
.

let’s get her someplace airy and bright. That’s sure to help, isn’t it?”

“We’ll do that,” said Princess soothingly.

“The chest! Maybe they’re all in there!” Louise cried. “Oh, please, Princess, search for them!”

Tucking the wand in her girdle, Princess returned to the chest, and with Shanzie’s help emptied it to the bottom. They found no crown, nor any shield, although Shanzie

finished eating and wiping his greasy fingers on his rags, he rose to go, but Princess detained him.

“Shanzie, are there any old books in the castle?” she asked.

“I don’t know, my lady. What’s
books?”

“Oh, dear. A book is
. . .
it’s about so big and so thick,” she said, accompanying her words with illustrative manual gesture, “but books can be bigger or smaller, or thicker or thinner. Inside, they’re all full of thin sheets covered with marks. Sometimes they have pictures, too.”

“They sounds like grand things, my lady. I never saw one of those.”

“Is there anything in the castle that’s been here since the time the princess was enchanted?”

“Only the big chest that no one can open and no one can move, my lady.”

Princess bounced eagerly to her feet. “Lead me to it at once, Shanzie,” she ordered, taking up the black sword and saying to it in a confidential undertone, “Did you hear that?”

Louise sighed and said, “He’s probably talking about the dustbin. It’s hopeless, Princess. I appreciate your efforts, but I can see that it’s all hopeless. I’ll be a sword forever. Except when I’m a stick.”

“Now, now. Mustn’t give up,” Princess said with a reassuring squeeze of Louise’s hilt. Louise sighed deeply and sank into a despondent silence.

They descended to the lowest level, a dank and muddy place once used for the storing of food and prisoners. The big chest, it turned out, was not only too heavy to be dragged off by looters, it was too heavy for rotting floorboards to support; some years ago it had crashed down from the floor above and half buried itself in the dirt.

In the light of Shanzie’s torch, the iron chest looked like the coffin of a giant, rescued in the act of desecration by graverobbers. It was sunk in the floor almost to the level of its elaborate triple locks, which showed the scars of

after you’ve made up my room, but I want this entire floor spotless before you go to sleep. My husband will arrive shortly, and I don’t want him seeing a mess. You can do the lower levels tomorrow, but I want this one done tonight.”

“Yes, your magnificent excellence,” said Shanzie, bowing.

“And please refer to me as ‘my lady.’

“I will, I will, your
. . .
my lady, ma’am.”

“One thing more: I have a horse outside. He’s transparent, so you may not see him at first, but he’s tied up near the bridge. Feed and water him, and bring my saddle in. He’ll he safe where he is, I think.”

“Yes, my lady. Right away, my lady,” Shanzie repeated, making his way to the door.

“That was a stroke of luck,” said Princess when he was gone. She placed the sword on the table and took up the flagon. The wine was passable. The rabbit was nicely done by this time. She put it on the trencher and settled down to dine.

“He seems a bit dim to me,” Louise observed.

“We don’t need a philosopher, we need a servant. I’d rather have my own house-troll, but Shanzie will do.”

“I hope you’re right.”

Licking her fingers, Princess said, “At least we’ll have a clean warm place to wait for Kedrigern to arrive. And food while we’re waiting.”

“Must we wait? Can’t
you
do something?”

Princess shook her head decisively. “He does the counterspells and disenchantments. He knows exactly what to look for.”

As Princess dined, Louise gave occasional deep sighs and at last said, “Maybe it’s no use at all. Maybe there’s nothing to be found. The castle is in ruins. Our story is forgotten. It’s all over. I’ll be a sword forever.”

Her mouth full of rabbit, Princess could only frown and shake her head. Swallowing, she said quickly, “You mustn’t

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