Katy Kelly_Lucy Rose 01 (3 page)

Here is one good thing: Halloween is coming. I am going to be Annie from
Annie Get Your Gun
which is a play on Broadway which is in New York City and even though I have never been to New York City I know all the songs because we have the CD which my dad bought me because I am crazy for show tunes.

The bad thing is that I am really Annie DON'T Get Your Gun because my mother says carrying pistols is not appropriate. But she did take me to buy a red cowgirl hat at the Bruce Variety and also a shirt with fringe and pearly snap buttons. I'm also going to wear a blue jean skirt I already have and my same red cowgirl boots that I wear every day. And here is the thing of it: I look divine.

This is another good thing: Jonique's mother called up my mother and said that since they live on A Street and we live one block away on Third
Street that I can come trick-or-treating with them. The bad thing: Melonhead is coming too. Jonique says he has to. His mother asked. At lunch Jonique gave me three Doritos and I gave her so many Tic Tacs I didn't even count. White are the only kind she likes too.

I am not a complainer but it is only three days until October is over so when I got to school this morning I told Mr. Welsh flat out that he had to eat his hat.

“How come?” he said.

“Things are not better this month,” I told him.

“Not even a little bit?” he said.

“Maybe a puny bit,” I said.

“There are still a few days left,” he said. “Look for the good, Lucy Rose.”

“Right-O,” I said but I did not really go for that advice.

“Good. I'm rather fond of my hat,” he said.

Which I have still never seen him wearing.

Yesterday was Halloween and it was extremely excellent. Mr. Welsh dressed up like a bunch of grapes with purple balloons all over himself which was hilarious and when one popped he jumped like a rocket.

After lunch the whole school had a costume parade starting with the kindergarteners and we marched around the block and all of the old people who are living at the Capitol Hill Home came out and waved at us and my mom ran ahead and took a video and Madam and Pop clapped like crazy and afterwards we all went back to the classroom and had a party and the best thing at the party was orange pumpkin cupcakes and they were made by my mom. Mr. Welsh ate one even though he says he is not one for eating sweets.

When we got home my mom made me eat string cheese for protein and then she went to work for the late shift and at five o'clock Pop and Madam and Gumbo walked me over to Jonique's and guess
what? Her mother is a holiday nut. Their whole porch was covered with pretend spiderwebs and their doormat screams when you step on it and we drank orange Kool-Aid and ate green spaghetti which Mrs. McBee said were monster brains but were so fake. Jonique was dressed up like a jack-in-the-box with a clown hat on her head and a big red box around her middle that had a turning thing that really turned and Mrs. McBee made the whole costume herself and when I saw it I said, “Mrs. McBee, you are a genius!” And she and Mr. McBee laughed like crazy at that. I don't know why.

A girl named Asia that lives next door to the McBees came with us and she was dressed up like
I Dream of Jeannie
, which is one TV show I am crazy about. Melonhead came too and I was not thrilled about that. He was dressed like a pirate but didn't look so different than normal. Mrs. McBee stayed home to wear her witch hat and give out Skittles and Mr. McBee took us around the block, past the Faith Tabernacle church and down East Capitol Street and in front of Grubb's which was closed.

For trick-or-treating the girls all walked together and Mr. McBee walked a few houses back from us
but right there one little step behind us for the whole night was Melonhead, following us around and making fart noises, which by the way is something that sends Madam right around the bend.

“Just ignore him,” Jonique said.

So I yelled back, “We are ignoring you.”

And Asia said, “We can't hear you.”

And I held my nose and so did Asia but Jonique couldn't on account of her costume made it so she couldn't reach her nose.

But Melonhead kept right on doing it all night long.

After we got back to Jonique's house, her mother took Polaroid pictures of all of us standing on the porch under a giant spiderweb and then she gave us each a picture to take home. I was thinking about asking her if she would make me two pictures, so I could keep one and send one to my dad, but I didn't because for one thing: I didn't want to act greedy. And for another thing: I didn't want to explain about being separated. Plus it's not the most valuable picture because it has Melonhead in it. When I got back home I was going to cut him off but my mom says you can't cut Polaroids so now I have a picture of him right there in my room. I also have an enormous lot of candy with no Baby Ruths because I hate them and I traded them to Asia for Twix bars. And I have a big pile of black licorice because both Asia and Jonique hate it so they gave it to me for free on account of I like it a teensy bit. And I have no Mounds bars which I also hate but Madam loves like anything so today after school I went to my grandparents' house and gave them to her. We went into the kitchen and Madam got apple juice for me and fizzy water for herself and Pop, and I told Madam, “I took your recommendation but Melonhead is still a big pain in my butt.”

And Madam made a little smile but she told me, “You can probably think of a better way to say that.”

And then my grandfather said, “I can.”

But my grandmother said, “Please don't.”

She is a big one for saying please.

Today I told Mr. Welsh to hold off on eating his hat and he asked me why and I said, “Because October got better in the nick of time.”

“Much better?” he asked me.

“Some better,” I said.

“That's a lucky break for me, hat-wise,” he said.

“Want to go double or nothing?”

I asked him, “What does that mean?”

And he said, “I'll bet November will be even better.”

“Twice as better?” I asked.

“I think so,” he said.

One thing I hope is that he is right.

Today we had an assembly and a real scientist came to the auditorium and did demonstrations and they were not the boring kind. First he made foam and then he showed us disappearing ink which was amazing like you couldn't believe and then he said, “This magical ink is made from an ordinary household object. Who can guess the ingredient?”

And then he pointed at me and I said, “Window cleaner!”

“Good try,” he said. “But wrong answer.”

Then Sam guessed, “Soap mixed with regular ink!”

Then Melonhead shouted out, “Lemon juice.”
And he did it without even waiting to be called on.

And the man said, “You're right!” Then he told Melonhead to come up to the stage and take a bow because he has been to a lot of auditoriums and Melonhead was the first kid that ever guessed. And when Melonhead got up onstage, he bowed and then he did a dance and made hooty noises. And I have to tell you that made me feel a little steaming.

When I told my mom about that she said, “Well, Adam does know a lot about science.”

“It's not the science I mind,” I told her. “It's the showing off.”

Here is a good thing: Three days ago my mom got a new computer on account of we left our old one in Ann Arbor for my dad. We set it up on a little desk in the kitchen and my mom said, “We have to pick a screen name for our e-mail.”

And I said, “I think lilyandlucyrose would be good.”

“Too long,” my mom said and then she started laughing over her idea. “Since we're a lily and a rose, we could be flowerpower.”

And I said, “Outstanding.” So we are flowerpower and that is excellent because it is like having a spy name and nobody will know it is us unless we tell them.

So now every day when I get home I check e-mail and see if there is one for me and there usually is and it is usually from my dad. This is what he wrote to me today:

“Knock-knock.”

“Who's there?”

“Olive.”

“Olive who?”

“Olive you!”

I didn't get it until I said the whole thing out loud. Then I made an e-mail back and it said: “Olive you 2.” Sometimes I am just plain hilarious.

When I showed it to my mom, she made a printout of the whole thing and I taped it to the wall in my room.

This morning I asked my mother to get me to school before any of the other kids so I could ask
Mr. Welsh a private question. And she said, “Care to share?”

And I said, “Nope. 'Cause it's private.”

I am not telling her because I want it to be a surprise.

After she dropped me off I waited on the steps in the freezing and the minute I saw him I ran up and said, “Hey, Mr. Welsh, can I please keep Jake for Thanksgiving vacation?”

And he said, “I'm sorry, Lucy Rose. I already promised Robinson Gold that she could do it.”

And before I even could ask my next question he said that Jake was going to spend winter break with the Kempner sisters on account of it was their guinea pig that had born Jake in the first place.

I do not think this is fair. Later, when I got to my grandparents' house, I explained it to Pop and he agreed with me. When I told Madam she did not say unfair but she did say, “If Jake can't spend the night, maybe Jonique can.”

And I said, “That is one idea I can go for.”

So she got right on the phone to Mrs. McBee and had a chat and Mrs. McBee said this weekend would be fine.

Plus, I told Madam, it's smart. I already spend Friday nights at my grandparents' because my mother has to work the overnight, which means she doesn't get home until
Wake Up Washington
is over and then she needs her sleep but seriously.

Finally it is Friday and right after school, Jonique and I ran to her house and packed her best pajamas that are pink and white striped and her slippers that look like her feet are inside of white cats and then we ran double-fast to Madam and Pop's house. Madam gave us dried apricots for a snack and I took Jonique to the creepy basement where there used to be a kitchen in the really olden days. I showed her the best thing of all and it is the dumbwaiter which is a wooden box with a rope that works like an elevator and in the olden days used to send food from the basement up to the dining room which is on the first floor and we practiced sending our apricots up and down and then we left them in the dumbwaiter because Jonique says dried apricots are P-U.

Then I showed her the little room that is
practically full of picture frames and she said, “How come?”

“Because Madam buys them at yard sales,” I told her.

And then Jonique said, “Why does she do that?”

“Because she's going to do something with them one day,” I said.

“I'd like to see what,” Jonique said, which I think shows she's got curiosity which is something else Pop admires and original thinkers are full of.

After that we went upstairs so she could look at the morning room, which is where Madam and Pop like to sit every morning and read the
Washington Post
newspaper and drink Red Zinger tea.

And then we went into the living room and my grandfather turned on the chandelier that has fire instead of lightbulbs and is left over from before lightbulbs were even invented.

Then I showed her the big stairs in the front hall and the little stairs in the back hall which are small and bendy and feel like a secret passageway even though they're not and we pretended we were spies making a big escape.

Then we went to my grandparents' bedroom so we could loll around on the chaise for a while. Jonique never heard of a chaise before so I told her, “A chaise is kind of like a sofa, only fancier because it has a curvy back.”

When we were done we looked into my grandmother's closet. Madam has a love of clothes and high heels and also hats which she wears when she has to do something that makes her feel nervous. She says wearing a hat makes her feel more take-charge and that is helpful when you are a short lady like she is. Jonique tried on Madam's big straw hat with soft pink and red roses and I tried on a little smoothy black one with a veil. “You look like a movie star,” I told Jonique.