Katy Carter Wants a Hero (36 page)

‘So I see!’ I say brightly, jumping inside and trying to ignore the fizzing atmosphere. ‘What’s going on? Or maybe I shouldn’t ask.’

‘Oh, Katy!’ gushes Mads, beaming more widely than a Halloween pumpkin. ‘It’s just so sweet. Richard found my Sandals brochures and he wanted to be able to earn some extra money to whisk me away for a romantic break. We both had the same idea! Doesn’t that tell you how much we love each other?’

‘I knew Maddy wasn’t happy,’ continues Richard, ‘but I didn’t know what to do about it. Then I saw an advert for a painting job and figured if I worked really hard I could earn enough cash to whiz her away to St Lucia and make up for being such a useless husband. I was only doing it for a few months until I’d saved enough. I wanted it to be a surprise, that’s why I didn’t tell anyone.’

‘You’re not useless,’ cries Mads, taking his hand and pressing it to her cheek. ‘I love you, you idiot! I thought you didn’t want me any more and that you were having an affair. I only wanted to go on holiday to try and get you to fancy me again.’

‘But I do fancy you!’ protests Richard. ‘I fancy you like crazy! I just didn’t think I was good enough for you any more, and the longer I said nothing the worse it became. You seemed so unhappy and there were so many secrets that I didn’t know where to start.’

‘Like the money on the wardrobe,’ I recall. ‘And the steamy note from Isabelle.’

‘You’ve been looking on top of the wardrobe?’ Rich groans. ‘Is nowhere safe? And that note wasn’t steamy except in your vivid imagination. It was given to me after the first job I ever did. Isabelle’s sixty and her daughters paid me to paint her bedroom for her birthday. She gave me a fifty-pound tip and got me a couple of jobs working for her friends. I owe her a lot.’

Mads kisses the tip of his nose. ‘I’m so relieved you’re not having an affair. And I don’t know why you thought you weren’t good enough for me. Your body’s great!’

‘I think all the extra physical work has got me fitter,’ explains Richard, pulling his wife on to his lap. ‘I must admit I actually feel quite good about myself lately. But it’s time for me to stop. Seeing you two tonight was quite a shock. Imagine if it had been the Bishop?’ He goes a bit grey at the thought. ‘I’d probably be excommunicated if he knew I was moonlighting and my wife and her friend were selling sex aids. I know the money’s good doing the parties but it’s far too risqué for a vicar’s wife.’

‘I agree!’ I say quickly. ‘And for the record, I was just helping.’

‘I’m hardly in a position to have a go, am I?’ says Richard ruefully. ‘Seeing as I’ve been less than truthful myself. But it’s got to stop before it lands us in hot water or one of your tabloid pals runs an exposé.’

‘They’re not my friends!’ I protest. ‘It’s hardly my fault everyone’s obsessed with Gabriel.’

Richard raises an eyebrow at this and I brace myself for another lecture. Then he sighs.

‘Actually, Katy, this is one mess I can’t blame you for. But,’ he adds to his wife, ‘we need to talk to each other, Maddy, rather than just guessing how the other feels.’

From the way Maddy’s gazing at him I would say that talking is the last thing on her mind. She’s got a minibus-load of sex toys and the newly toned Richard in her arms and I think it’s time for me to beat a hasty retreat. The looks that are passing between them are enough to set the bus alight.

I’ve had enough green and hairy moments recently to know when I’m not wanted.

‘I’ll take the car back,’ I suggest, grabbing the keys and backing out. ‘Then you guys can, um, catch up.’

But Mads and Richard are too busy kissing to answer. Somehow I don’t think I’ll be getting any sense out of them for a while. Feeling like some prudish maiden aunt, I scuttle out of the bus and head for the car.

Driving back to Tregowan, I mull over the events of the evening. Wouldn’t life have been a lot easier lately if Mads had just told Richard how she was feeling? Then he could have told her how unhappy he was and
voilà
! No rowing, no tears and certainly no moonlighting with other jobs. Now they can jet off to Sandals, come back all loved up and everybody lives happily ever after, especially my good self, who no longer has to live in fear of Richard finding out about his wife’s secret life.

Parking the car and trudging up the path to the rectory I can’t help but think that my life would also be a lot easier if I’d only been a little more truthful in my own relationships. If I had taken a really long hard look at how things were with James I could have saved years of wasted emotion. And if I’d had the guts to tell Ollie how I really felt about him then who only knows? I certainly wouldn’t be pretending to be Gabriel Winters’ girlfriend and basically lying to everyone.

It doesn’t feel good.

In fact it’s feeling more and more bloody awful as the days go on.

I’ve got to do something about it.

Once inside the rectory I pour a huge glass of wine and take it outside into the garden, or rather the patch of grass that passes as one. Maddy isn’t much of a gardener. The ground is tangled with bindweed and brambles and the only flowers are the wild dog roses and rampant nasturtiums that hurl themselves over the dry-stone wall. Sitting on the doorstep I breathe in the salt tang mixed with the acrid aroma of barbecue smoke and watch the reflections of the lights in the water. A couple wander out of the Mermaid, arms entwined around each other, and stand for a while gazing out over the harbour. They look closer than words.

I think of Maddy and Richard all loved up in the minibus and of Gabriel and Frankie cuddled up at Smuggler’s Rest and feel desperately lonely.

I knock back my wine and fish into my pocket for my mobile phone. Sod it. I’m going to call Ollie. After all, what have I got to lose? It’s not as though he’s talking to me anyway.

I dial his land line and brace myself for the usual endless ringing or curt answerphone message. When he actually answers I’m momentarily thrown.

‘Ollie?’ I say quickly. ‘It’s me. Please don’t hang up. I really need to talk to you.’

‘Katy?’ Ol sounds taken aback to hear from me and not overly thrilled. ‘Have you any idea what time it is?’

‘It’s Friday night,’ I say. ‘I thought you’d still be up.’

‘It’s one a.m.,’ Ol says, with a sigh. ‘I was asleep. Honestly, it’s really inconsiderate. I don’t hear from you for weeks, except through the tabloids, and then you call in the middle of the night.’ I hear the creaking of bedsprings as he sits up. ‘What do you want?’

‘I have called you. And I’ve written.’ I feel very wronged. If only he knew just how many times I’ve dialled his number and spoken to Vile Nina, or left messages on the answerphone. And of course my letters. Just thinking about how I poured my heart out in those makes me feel all hot with shame. ‘You’re never there and your mobile’s always switched off.’

‘I lost my mobile months ago,’ Ol says. ‘God knows what happened to it. I haven’t bothered to replace it because I quite enjoy the peace.’ He yawns loudly and I can picture exactly how he looks, hair sticking up at crazy angles and pink tongue poking out between slightly crooked teeth.

Isn’t it strange how Ollie’s wonky front teeth are so much cuter than Gabriel’s pearly gnashers?

‘Well?’ Ollie snaps impatiently when I don’t say anything. ‘What’s the matter? It must be urgent, seeing as you’ve woken us up. Or are you pissed?’

Us? That must be him and Nina then. My vision of Ol, all rumpled in his T-shirt and boxers, is instantaneously replaced by a vision of Nina, all silken negligée and toned flesh, coiled around him like a designer python.

‘Sorry,’ I whisper. ‘It’s just… it’s just…’

My throat grows tight and my eyes sting. I grip my phone so tightly that I hear the pink plastic crack.

‘I miss you.’ There, I’ve said it.

‘Really?’ Ollie isn’t exactly jumping for joy. ‘I’m surprised you’ve had the time to miss any of us, what with your new celebrity lifestyle and everything.’

‘That’s not all it seems. I told you to ask Frankie.’

‘As if I ever see Frankie now he’s joined the celebrity circus. But you’ve really moved onwards and upwards, Katy. Sir Bob’s must seem like a different world.’

‘I miss Sir Bob’s too,’ I choke.

‘Bloody hell. You
have
been drinking if you’re missing school. I can’t wait to leave.’

‘You’re leaving?’

‘I quit teaching at the end of the summer term,’ Ol reveals, and even though I can’t see him I know that he’s smiling at the thought. ‘We’re going to go travelling. I’ve bought a camper van and I’ve put the house on the market. It looks like things are going through. You’re not the only one who’s changed their life.’

I’m not quite sure what to say to this. Congratulations sounds like I want to get rid of him, but if I tell him that my heart’s sinking faster than a pair of concrete wellies I’ll sound petty. I experience a hideous sense of panic. Ollie’s leaving Sir Bob’s, selling his house and basically moving on with his life. I have a sudden image of him and Nina sipping cocktails against a glorious magenta sunset, before wandering off along a beach of powdery white sand.

That sodding Sandals brochure has even got to me.

‘I have you to thank really,’ adds Ollie. ‘I’d never have done it otherwise.’

‘Me?’

‘Absolutely. I saw how you picked yourself up and moved on with your life without so much as a backwards glance and it made me think, why shouldn’t I do the same? I want to be pragmatic and emotionless. Just like you.’

I’m staggered. ‘Pragmatic and emotionless? Me?’

This seems unfair in the extreme. If Ol only knew the buckets of tears I’ve shed over him. I mean, it might look as though I’m all loved up with Gabriel, but I’m not the one who went and got engaged, am I? And I’m not the one who’s broken off our friendship and ignored all contact.

‘That’s bloody rich coming from you!’ I splutter. ‘You never once got in touch.’

‘Me? Come on, I’ve left countless messages with your
management
.’ Ollie almost spits the word. ‘Would it really have hurt you to just make one call? I thought we were friends, Katy. Whatever happened to that?’

I can hardly believe what I’m hearing. ‘You’ve tried to contact me?’

‘Come on, you must know I have. I’ve probably made a total idiot of myself. God knows what that guy Seb must think. He probably has me down as some kind of stalker.’

‘I never got any messages, Ollie. I swear to God. Seb’s Gabriel’s manager. He must have screened them all.’

‘Fuck,’ says Ollie.

‘But what about
my
messages? I must have left hundreds on your answerphone! And my letters? Didn’t you get them?’

Ollie’s silent for a minute. Then he sighs heavily. ‘I think I can guess what happened to those. Bloody hell, what a mess.’

I start to laugh but it turns into a sob. ‘So you weren’t ignoring me?’

‘Of course I wasn’t! But Katy, you’re with Gabriel now and I can understand exactly what his manager was thinking. I’m sorted too. Maybe it was for the best.’

‘Of course it wasn’t!’ I wail. ‘We’ve got so much to catch up on. There are things I really need to talk to you about.’

Ollie sighs. ‘I’m sure there are, but I’m canoeing at six tomorrow and I really need some sleep.’

I can take a hint. I’m being dismissed. But I just don’t want to put the phone down. What I really want to do is howl that I’m sorry, that I know I’ve cocked things up and that actually, Ol, I really think I’m in love with you, but I don’t think this is what he wants to hear since his life’s so sorted and flipping peachy without me.

So much for telling the truth.

‘Fine,’ I say quickly, swallowing back the lump in my throat. ‘We can catch up another time. Are you coming to Jewell’s birthday party next week? I know she sent you an invite.’

This week random people the length and breadth of Britain have had Jewell’s rainbow-coloured invites plopping on to their doormats. This year the theme is ‘Come as your favourite celeb’, which may or may not be Jewell’s idea of a joke. In any case, the house on Hampstead Heath will be festooned with fairy lights and filled until the small hours with drunken revellers. Jewell’s determined that this year will be the best party yet. The announcement of her birthday has already gone out in
The Times
.

‘I did get an invite,’ Ollie confirms. ‘But I didn’t know whether to come. I wasn’t sure it was a good idea.’

‘You must come!’ I’m horrified how desperate I am to see him. ‘You and Nina, obviously.’

‘Nina?’ asks Ol, sounding as bemused as though I’d suggested he bring Liz Hurley.

‘Of course!’ I so will get treasure in heaven. Still, I reckon I can even bear Nina if it means I get to spend a few minutes with Ollie. I know the girl hates me, but how much damage can she do at a party? Stab me to death with her hip bones? ‘Please come, Ol. Jewell will be devastated if you don’t show.’

‘Just Jewell?’ asks Ollie softly.

Those butterflies are back in my stomach, only this time they’re clog-dancing. I take a deep, shaking breath and dredge up the scattered remnants of my courage. Honesty, remember?

‘Not just Jewell,’ I whisper. ‘I’ll be devastated too. Please come, Ollie. I really miss you.’

Over the miles between us something crackles in the ether. I’m holding my breath. Then Ollie exhales slowly, as though he’s let go of something he’s been gripping tightly.

‘I miss you too,’ he says, so softly that I’m not even sure I hear him say it. ‘I’ll be there, Katy. I’ll be there.’

Then there’s a click as he puts the receiver down and all is still. My phone slithers to the floor and I realise that the pounding in my ears isn’t the sea but my galloping heartbeat.

I sit on the steps and hug my knees to my chest. I know I’m being ludicrous but I feel hugely, ridiculously happy.

Ollie misses me.

I grin madly into the darkness. I feel like dancing and singing; I feel so light-hearted that I swear I could launch myself from the hillside and glide like a gull over the village, somersaulting and diving in pure joy.

OK. He only said that he misses me.

But it’s a start.