Katie Friedman Gives Up Texting! (16 page)

Then I picked up my guitar, and I started singing, and the music just came out.

How do you

Find the strength

To finally walk out the door?

How do you

Tell the one you loved

You don't love them anymore?

An hour later, I had the whole song. I don't know how it happened. It just did. I guess that's what creating something is. It's waiting for whatever it is to be ready to pour out of you, and then when it's time, getting out of the way and letting it happen.

I remembered when I wrote the words to the song. It was the night I sent my very last text, that horrible mistake that broke Nareem's heart. Now here I was, finally able to write the music, on another night I was really upset. Did that mean I could only create things when I was sad? I hoped not. I wanted to write songs, but I didn't want to have to live a miserable life to do it.

But that was something to worry about some other time. For now, I had written a song! And I was excited to teach it to the band at rehearsal the next night. Maybe Becca and the girls would love it, and we could even play it at the talent show!

For the first time all day, I felt something like hope.

 

41

TWO APOLOGIES

The next morning
I went to find Jake and apologize. I looked all over the school, then found him and Hannah standing by my locker.

“Hi,” I said.

“Hi,” they said.

They waited. I had a whole speech prepared in my head, but I forgot every word.

“I'm really, really sorry for screaming at you,” I stammered finally.

Jake said, “It's okay,” and I felt a huge weight lift off my shoulders.

We stood there kind of awkwardly for a second, then I said, “Um, what are you guys doing here? By my locker, I mean?”

Jake held out his phone. “I wanted to give this back to you.”

I stared down at it. “Are you sure?”

“I'm sure,” Jake said.

I still didn't understand. “Really?”

“You were totally a jerk yesterday,” Hannah said to me. “But you know what? Jake kind of deserved it in a way. If he wanted his phone back, he could have just asked for it. But he was scared and ashamed and so he didn't. He went into your locker without asking, which is definitely not cool.”

“You're not the only one who's sorry,” Jake told me. “I owe you an apology, too. And I want to stick to the deal. One for all and all for one, right?” He smiled.

I took the phone. “Okay!”

I'm ashamed to admit that the next thing I thought about was somehow getting word to Jane that our deal was back on.

But I'm proud to admit that that thought only lasted a second—maybe three—and then I banished it from my head.

Forever.

 

42

THE LAST REHEARSAL

At the end of the school day,
I went to my locker, got the bag of phones, and brought them home. I was going to give them back to everybody at the talent show the next night. I went to my closet to put the bag inside, but first, I pulled out my phone and stared at it. Who knew such a little device could cause so much drama? My fingers itched as I thought about checking my texts, and taking a picture of the bag of phones and posting it online, congratulating the Cavemen on finishing the week. But I put the phone back in the bag. I could wait one more day.

That night, I got to Becca's house early for rehearsal, as usual. I wanted to talk to Becca privately and play her the song I wrote. But when I arrived, I was surprised to see Sammie and Jackie already there.

I hadn't seen much of Sammie over the last couple of days, since she was a Phonie.

“Hey,” I said to her.

“What's up?” she said.

I said hi to the other girls, but I could tell that something was a little weird, like I was interrupting a private conversation or something.

“Everything okay?” I asked.

“Everything's great!” Becca said, oversmiling. “Let's get to work. We've got a lot to do.”

“Yeah,” Jackie said. “Big show tomorrow night! We've got to nail down our songs.”

I got out my guitar. “I'm ready, you guys,” I said, relieved to get to the music. “Let's do this.”

We rehearsed for about an hour, going through about six songs, then we decided that the ones we'd play at the talent show would be “I Love Rock and Roll” by Joan Jett and “California Gurls” by Katy Perry.

“We're gonna rock it!” Sammie said from behind her drum set. Everyone laughed, including me. I actually felt happy and so relieved. The power of music is amazing. Which might be why I felt bold enough to say what I said next.

“Listen you guys, I wanted to let you know that I finished my song last night.” They all stopped fiddling with their instruments and looked at me. “I'm not saying we should do it at the talent show or anything, but I just want to play it for you guys, so you can tell me if it's any good or not.”

Jackie noodled on her keyboard. “I'm sure it's good. You don't need us to tell you that.”

“I bet it's amazing,” Becca said.

“You're really talented,” Sammie added.

Suddenly I felt this overpowering need to play it for them. Just to share it with
someone
.

“I don't know how talented I am, you guys,” I said. “I've never written a whole song before. It's short! I just want to play it for you!”

“Of course,” Becca said. “Of course you can play it for us. But can you maybe play it for us later? Right now we should really rehearse the songs we're playing tomorrow night.”

“Okay,” I said. “No problem.”

We played “California Gurls,” and it sounded really good. Then we played “I Love Rock and Roll!” which also sounded really good.

“What should we do now?” I asked.

The rest of the band looked at each other.

“We should probably run the two songs again, just to nail them down,” Sammie said.

“Why?” I said. “They sound great. We don't want to overrehearse.”

Jackie, Sammie, and Becca looked at each other, as if trying to figure out who should talk next.

“It's awesome you wrote a song,” Sammie said, finally. “But I think we should probably just use this rehearsal to work on our talent show stuff.”

“Yeah,” Jackie agreed.

Becca nodded, without looking at me.

“I need to go to the bathroom,” I said.

“Okay,” said Becca.

I went into the bathroom and locked the door. I took about twenty deep breaths. I made myself calm down. Then I headed back down to Becca's basement, promising myself I'd play those two songs a zillion times, if they wanted to.

But when I was on the steps, I heard them talking. More like whispering.

I stopped.

“I thought you were going to tell her,” I heard Jackie say.

“I didn't have a chance,” Becca answered.

“At this point, we'll just wait until after the talent show,” Sammie said. “It will be fun and a good way to end.”

“CHICKMATE's farewell tour,” said Jackie, giggling.

“Do you think she'll be mad?” Sammie's voice.

“Maybe at first,” Becca said. “But she'll get over it. She might even thank us. This isn't the group she wants, and we're not the musicians she wants.”

“She wants to be Jane Plantero,” agreed Sammie. “I just want to bang on a few drums between field hockey practices.”

They all laughed.

“Jane Plantero! Good luck with that.”

I wasn't sure who said that last thing, because I was already on my way back up the stairs and out the door.

 

43

THE LONG WALK HOME

Walking home from Becca's house,
I went over the whole last week in my head. Was it only a week ago that I'd gone to the concert with Nareem? That was hard to believe.

It should have been the greatest week of my life.

But instead it turned into one of the worst.

How could it have gone so wrong?

I was trying to figure that out when I looked around and realized something.

It was getting late.

Then I realized something else.

I wasn't going to make it home before dark.

I started running, which considering my general state of fitness, is not necessarily a good idea. After about five minutes, I started breathing so hard I thought I was going to keel over.

Then I did something pretty hilarious.

I reached into my pocket to call my mom.

Oh, right. NO CELL PHONE.

Which is when I got a little scared.

It's not like I'm a baby: I actually even like horror movies. But I'd never been far from home at nighttime with no way to get in touch with anyone before. It wasn't a good feeling.

I remembered what Charlie Joe said earlier in the week, when he held up his phone and said there was a call for me.

What if something bad actually happened?

I tried to put that out of my head.

I was on a busy road, with a very thin sidewalk. Cars whizzed by me, the fumes from their exhaust pipes blasting stinky heat up my nose.

Oh, and did I mention it started to rain?

I walked for a few minutes, then jogged for a few minutes, and realized I still had about two miles to go. And there wasn't even a gas station or anything between here and there.

I was trying to decide if maybe I should just go up to a random house and ask to use the phone when a car pulled up beside me. The window went down, and I heard a male voice.

“Do you need a ride?”

I didn't turn and look, because people say never make eye contact with a stranger. I just shook my head. “No, thank you.”

“It's getting dark out here, young lady,” the voice said. “Are you sure?”

“Yes, I'm sure.” For a minute I was tempted to ask this person for their cellphone, but I resisted.

“Okay,” the man said, and off he went.

I started to cry a little bit, and started getting mad at myself. How could I ever have thought giving up my cell phone was a good idea? What was wrong with me?!

Another car pulled up. I started to run. The car was right behind me. I tried to run faster, but I couldn't. I was wet, and tired, and defeated. I stopped and turned. I would accept their ride, whoever it was. I would just have to hope that the person driving wasn't an escaped criminal.

The car window rolled down.

“Katie? Oh my God, there you are! We've been looking all over for you!”

It was Becca and her father.

I started to cry for real.

I'd never been so happy to see someone in my whole life.

With the possible exception of Jane Plantero.

 

44

PRETTY TYPICAL MIDDLE SCHOOL STUFF

I was drier and calmer
by the time Becca's dad dropped me home.

My mom gave me a huge hug. “Oh my goodness. What were you thinking?!?!”