Kate Sherwood - Dark Horse 01 - Dark Horse (50 page)

Dan hears that pretty clearly. “Yeah. So that’s the way it’s going to be, in your version of the damn contract? You and Jeff can talk about me all you want, but I don’t get to say anything about either of you? That’s good to know, man. Thanks for clearing that up.”

“No, I didn’t mean it like that….”
“Really? So how did you mean it?”

“Fuck. I don’t know. Okay, yeah, you have a right to talk about us, too, I guess… but… yeah, okay, I heard what you said. I’ll give him a call and see if he’s free for dinner tomorrow night. Okay?”

“And be nice.”
Evan snorts a little. “What?”

“You should be nice when you call him. You love him, remember?” Dan’s teasing, but he means it too.

“Yeah, thanks. So I’ll call him, nicely… and then I’ll call you back and let you know?”
“Okay. But, Evan… I mean, okay, you’re right, it’s worth talking it out, but… talking doesn’t solve everything, you know?” He can barely remember all the things that had jittered through his mind earlier, but he’s pretty sure that at least some of them had merit.

Evan sighs. “No, not everything. But, seriously, Dan, if you want this… and I want this… and Jeff wants this… let’s make it happen, you know? Let’s get it for ourselves.”

“Jesus, you sound like a motivational speaker.” Dan laughs a little. “Well, is it working? Are you motivated?”
“I’m motivated to hang up. I’m gonna go to work, and then I’ll move

my stuff out tonight. I can come back and clean the place… oh, not tomorrow night… the next night?”

 

“Nah, man, don’t worry about cleaning it. We’ve got people who can do that.”

 

Dan shakes his head. “You have people. I don’t. I can clean.” “Whatever. Knock yourself out.” Evan mutters something that sounds like “Stubborn bastard,” but Dan doesn’t ask him to repeat it.

They hang up, and Dan lies back along the bench seat, his feet still sticking out the door. He stays like that for a minute, staring at the ceiling of the truck and wondering what the hell he’s doing. In the space of five minutes he’s gone from freaking out and hating his life to feeling reasonably content, although still totally uncertain about his future. And still a little hung over. He pulls himself back up to a sitting position and swings his feet inside the truck. He doesn’t have to worry about Evan and Jeff until the next night, and in the meantime, he’s got horses to train. It may not be a lot, but it’s enough. At least for now.

Chapter 38

D
AN
drives to the barn and throws himself into his work with enthusiasm. It’s hard for him to believe that he saw the horses only the morning before. It feels like it’s been weeks. The staff doesn’t seem to have even noticed that he was gone, and Tatiana is there, too, bright and cheerful as ever. He supposes that Evan wouldn’t have mentioned any of the previous day’s events to her, and she seems unaware of the trauma caused in the name of her security. He has a quick flash of resentment, wondering why she gets to be so blissfully ignorant while he is put through the third degree, but after about two minutes of her gushing about Sunshine and Chaucer and all the other exciting things in her life, he finds that he’s forgiven her. He
likes
it that she’s unaware and that she can still be a kid even with the dangers in her world. He realizes again that Evan’s doing a good job with his little sister.

Dan takes Tat with him when he checks on the horses that had competed on Sunday. They need at least a couple days to rest after their exertions, so he doesn’t ride them, but he has Robyn walk and trot them on the leadline so he can watch for lameness, and he runs his hands over their muscles to check for the heat of injury. He explains what he’s doing to Tat, and he’s impressed as always with her focus and her interest in learning. He sort of hopes that she doesn’t become a serious eventer, because he doesn’t want to see her take that kind of risk, but he thinks she definitely has a future in the horse world, if she wants it. A future she could earn herself, not one that she buys with her family money.

Ryan calls around lunchtime. He’s just waking up, and Dan teases him about the rock and roll lifestyle. Ryan agrees ruefully, and gives a quick summary of what he’s been up to. He sounds happy, and more excited than Dan’s ever heard him, so Dan’s happy on his behalf.

When Ryan asks how Dan’s doing, he’s not sure how to respond. “Oh, yeah. Better today, for sure. Sorry about the drama yesterday.” “Dude, there wasn’t really any drama…. You just sounded down.”

“Yeah, it… I dunno. Some stuff came up, and I didn’t deal with it all that well, and… whatever. But, yeah, I think I’m gonna find somewhere else to live. The house is really nice, but it’s just not really me, you know? And I think I need a bit of breathing room from the whole Kaminski experience.”

“Especially if you’re gonna start dating him,” Ryan says quietly. Dan’s temporarily speechless. He’d known Ryan was aware of his interest in Jeff, but…. “What? Why would… I mean….”

“Dude, I thought he was gonna punch me that first night in the bar.” Ryan laughs a little. “And he eased off, but still… he wasn’t exactly subtle. And a guy like him—what he wants, he gets, right?”

“Wait. No…. What do you mean… a guy like him? I thought you thought… Jeff?” Dan is aware that he’s not making a lot of sense. Maybe he can treat this as a rehearsal for the conversation the next evening. He obviously needs some practice.

“A guy like him: rich, good-looking, smart, ambitious—the whole package, right? And, honestly, from how I’ve seen him treat
other
people, he seems like a pretty good guy too.”

“Yeah, but… I don’t know, man. I mean… I don’t know. It’s complicated.”

“Yeah, no shit. He’s been seeing Stevens for years, right?” “Wait a second—how come you know all this?”
“Dude, he’s the biggest piece of gossip around. The whole package.

And single. And fucks men and women? And lots of each? Jesus, it’s a small town… there’s people who could tell you what that guy has for breakfast.” Ryan sounds amused by the whole scene, but Dan doesn’t think he’s able to be that sanguine himself.

“Shit.” Dan really hadn’t considered that other people might be aware of his… situation. It’s one more item that makes him uncomfortable about the whole thing. Puppet-Chris tells him to add it to the ‘con’ list, but Dan hasn’t admitted that he’s making one. The less the puppet knows, the better.

Ryan sounds a bit more thoughtful. “So, you’re thinking about, what… both of them? The town would love that.”

“Jesus. The town cares?”
“Dan, man—you saw those girls grab onto your first day at the restaurant—if the town cares about you, you’d better
believe
they care about Kaminski, and a Kaminski threesome? Hell, yeah, they’d care.”

“Oh, God.” Dan groans and cradles his head in his hands. “This just gets messier and messier.”
Ryan’s voice is gentle. “What about you, man? Forget the town, and forget Kaminski… what do
you
want?”

Dan thinks for a minute. “Fuck if I know.”

 

“Okay, put it this way… if you were stuck on a desert island somewhere, just the three of you… would you be getting it on?”

Dan smiles at the thought. “Would there be lube?”
“Coconut oil or something. Be creative.”
“Okay, side question—does this not bother you at all? I mean, this

conversation is just about killing me, and you seem fine with it.” Dan isn’t sure if he really wants the answer to that. “Am I just… am I flattering myself to think that maybe it would bug you a little?”

Ryan takes a second before answering. “I went into this thinking we’d be friends. And then I bailed before we got to be much more. I… I’ve got no right to lay claim to you, man. You know? And, I don’t know… I guess I’m pretty good at being content with what I’ve got, and not bitching about what I haven’t.”

Dan nods to himself. It goes a long way toward explaining the Ryan Effect. And it bought him a little time on the desert island question.

“Yeah, okay. Uh, desert island—sure, yeah. They’re both hot, I like them both… hey, if you were there you could join in too.”
“Thanks. So, it’s just what other people think that would slow you down? I don’t know, man… should that really matter?”

“Well… maybe? Or… I don’t know, it’s not just what other people think, it’s what I think. I mean… Evan’s my boss, which is… bad, for me. And on a desert island, we’d all be stuck there together. Nobody’s gonna leave, or nobody’s gonna see somebody else and want them instead.”

“Huh. Yeah, life isn’t simple, I guess.” Ryan sounds smugly aware that his own life actually is fairly straightforward, but Dan can’t really resent him for it.

“Yeah, thanks, that’s helpful.” Dan smiles. “Okay, I should get back to work, I guess. But do you have your landlord’s number, for the apartment? Maybe I’ll get in touch, see if I can get a couple months there before I decide what I’m doing longer term.”

“Uh… no number, actually. He’s a bit of a crazy hippy. He does pottery, and he travels around to all these craft shows… he’s hardly ever home. I just leave notes for him in the mailbox of the house, and he leaves notes in the mailbox of the garage—it works out all right. His name’s Wendell.” Ryan laughs. “He may not even know that I gave notice yet.”

“Wendell? Okay. Great, thanks. And, you know… thanks for listening to me babble.”
“Anytime, man. I gotta say, though, it’s a bit sad when the sex life of some damn horse trainer is that much kinkier than the sex life of a rock star like me.”

“Well, you’re still new at it… I’m sure the kinkiness will build once you’re on the road.”
Ryan laughs, and they hang up. Dan goes back to the horses. Having the competitors taking a rest means that Dan has more time for the younger horses, and he really enjoys the chance to work with them and see where they’re at. Before he knows it, Robyn and Michelle are calling it a day. Tat looks tired as well, but she seems determined to stay as long as Dan does.
He turns his last horse, an off-the-track Thoroughbred filly, into her pasture, and finds Tat waiting for him at the gate.

“Hey, Dan.” She seems a little shy, as if she’s building up to a difficult question, and Dan starts to get a bit of a sinking feeling. He really has no idea what Evan has told his sister about… anything, really. Dan, and Jeff, and Dan and Jeff and Evan…. And he doesn’t know what she’s supposed to know, or even if there’s anything to tell her. He looks around frantically for an escape.

“Hey, Tat!” He suspects that his greeting is a little overenthusiastic, considering that he’s just spent most of the day with her. He tries to bring the energy level down a notch. “What’s up?”

She smiles bashfully. “I just… I wanted to say that… Evan doesn’t always tell me all that much. I mean, he tries to protect me from a lot of stuff. But… I could tell something was going on yesterday, and I think I kind of know what it was… and I just wanted to say that I’m sorry. You know… if it was what I think it was.”

This is so much better than what Dan thought she wanted to talk about. “Oh, no, Tat… I don’t know what you thought it was, but, really… there’s nothing for you to be sorry about.”

She doesn’t look quite convinced. “But if… if they made you feel unwelcome, or as though you were… I don’t know, as if you were
dangerous
or something, just because they’re being all paranoid about protecting
me
… I should be sorry about that, shouldn’t I?” She’s looking at the ground as she talks, but then she lifts her eyes up to Dan at the end, and he almost wants to cry.

“No, Tat, you….” He doesn’t know how much detail he wants to go into. “You’re lucky—you’ve got a family who cares about you, wants to keep you safe, and helps you know how to do the right things. I wasn’t quite so lucky.” He smiles ruefully, and wonders if that was enough to make her understand, or just enough to rouse her curiosity. “So… I guess… if you want to be sorry, like, it’s too bad that everyone isn’t as lucky with their families, okay, you can be sorry like that. But don’t be sorry like it’s your fault.” He shakes his head. “It’s not your fault.”

He gets another bashful look, and then she nods. “Yeah, okay.” They both rest their arms on the fence and look out at Sunshine grazing. Dan gives himself a mental pat on the back. He handled that all right. “Hey, Dan?”

“Yeah?” He almost
hopes
she’s got another question, just so he can answer it as smoothly.

She turns her head to look directly at him. “Do you like my brother?” And there goes Dan’s confidence. He keeps his eyes resolutely on the field.

“Uh… yes? I mean… I think almost everybody likes your brother, don’t they?”

She leans over and gives him a little hip check. “No, you know what I mean. Do you
like
him?” Dan just stares out at the horses, hoping that one of them will do something, anything, to distract this girl from her question. But the horses just keep grazing, and Tat continues. “’Cause he likes you. I mean, he likes Jeff, too, but… you can like two people at once, right?”

“Uh… yes? I think you can like two people at once.”

 

“Yeah. I know it’s none of my business or whatever, but… I just wanted to make sure that you know… if you like him, that’s cool with me. I mean, I like Jeff, too, but… you know.”

Dan has a brief moment of wanting to shake her. No, he
doesn’t
know. Is everything really so clear to everyone but him? Is he just adding extra complications where they don’t need to be? Then he remembers that he’s talking to a fifteen-year-old girl. Maybe she shouldn’t be the arbiter of what’s simple or complicated.

He realizes that she’s still waiting for a response from him. “Okay, well… thanks for letting me know.”

 

“Are you guys going to, like… date?”

“Sweet Jesus, Tat, I don’t know!” Possibly that was an overreaction, but she looks more amused than upset.
“All right, all right….” She gets a mischievous look in her eyes. “Hey, if I promise not to ask any more questions, can I ride Monty tomorrow? Just on the flat, not for jumping!”

Dan shakes his head. She can have his truck if she stops asking questions, but it’s probably better she doesn’t figure that out. “Uh… that might work. He should just have a light work out tomorrow, if anything… We’ll check his legs in the morning, and if he’s all right, you can give him a try. Just walk and trot, probably….”