Karma (20 page)

She looked down and shook her head. “It doesn’t excuse me either. If I’d been home like I was supposed to be, there would have been no alcohol. No party.” She swallowed over the painful lump in her throat. “No death.”

“Would have, could have, should have,” Dare muttered. “It doesn’t change the past. For any of us. What matters is who we are now. And I made sure I would never forget that night.”

She looked at him in confusion.

“The tattoo? The reason I snapped when you asked me about it the other day? I had the ink done as a permanent reminder.” He turned so she could see his left arm, the detailed etching of the band encircling his bicep. “Look closely.”

She ran her fingers over his muscled flesh.

“There’s a Sanskrit symbol for karma, which I translate as atonement or getting out of something what you put in,” he said gruffly.

She traced the foreign lettering and nodded. “I see it,” she murmured.

“And here…” He turned his arm to reveal the inner flesh, normally hidden. “There’s the date of the party.”

“The date Stuart Rossman died,” she whispered, understanding and humbled that he’d finally let her in. “Thank you for sharing.”

On impulse, she leaned down and pressed her lips to the inside of his arm, directly over the date. His entire body shivered in response, and despite everything, her inner core contracted with yearning. She needed him.

But first they had to finish this. For all she knew he might not even want her when they were done. “That’s why you hate Brian, isn’t it? Not just for what he did but for who he became?”

Dare shrugged. “I’m not sure myself. It’s so complicated and tangled. I just wanted you to know so that you can understand my extreme reactions. And trust me when I tell you they’re not about you.”

“I know that now.” But she also knew that what stood
between them was a whole lot bigger with more gray areas than she’d originally thought.

There might be more than attraction between them, but they could never contemplate a future. And it wasn’t just that Dare was a cop and she was enabling her troublemaking sibling. It was because her brother was a living, breathing reminder of Dare Barron’s biggest mistake.

And by extension, so was Liza.

Oh, the tattoo was a daily reminder, but Dare had willingly taken that on knowing that he’d work hard to make his life meaningful and worthwhile. But by virtue of his very existence, Brian had done the exact opposite. So no matter how attracted she and Dare were, no matter how much he tugged at something deep and untapped inside her,
sex
was all she could let herself share with him from now on.

Or else her heart would be in serious jeopardy.

Dare glanced her way. “Hey. I didn’t tell you so you’d pull away.”

He was reading her again and getting it right. Liza didn’t respond and suddenly found herself pulled and flipped on top of him, her entire body prone against his.

“Hey! What was that for?” she asked, trying to sound outraged and failing.

He grinned, his face this close to hers. “To get you to stop thinking.”

Easy enough. He was hot and hard beneath her, all male, and she couldn’t help but be aware of his erection, which pulsed against her core.

She wriggled against him and sighed, giving up the fight.

“Mission accomplished,” she said, conceding with not just her words but with her body’s complete acceptance of his as she molded into him.

“Good girl.” His hand slipped beneath her shirt and slid up her back until his palm lay flat over her bare flesh.

She inhaled his scent, musk and man, mixing with the outdoors, and she wanted to crawl into his skin.

She ought to fight this and knew she couldn’t. The one thing she could do was take control. Of him, of herself, and mostly of her feelings so she wouldn’t be hurt when the inevitable happened. And she couldn’t imagine him fighting what she had in mind.

She let her legs settle around either side of his hips, pressing herself intimately against him.

“Oh, baby.” His big body shuddered beneath her.

His words triggered an immediate wave of sensation that rushed through her, and she circled her hips once more, deepening the pressure and the connection between them.

He felt
so
good, but more important, she could control this and keep her emotions in check while finding so much pleasure she thought she might die from it. And they weren’t even naked yet. She picked up the pace, rocking against him, and he met her thrust for thrust, his hips jerking upward, his hardness rolling against her.

They were out of control and she loved every minute. The fullness between her legs grew heavier and more insistent, wetness saturated her panties, and still it wasn’t enough. She gripped his shoulders and bore down with her hips and the contractions inside her built until they exploded behind her eyes, white stars bursting as she soared out of her body.

Distantly she heard a scream and realized it had come from her. And still she came, the orgasm lasting long, shaking her hard, not letting up.

Dare groaned and without warning, he captured her cry with his mouth, pulling her into a long, deep kiss that shattered her soul and stole the control she’d mistakenly believed was hers.

“Clothes off,” he said through clenched teeth.

With the contractions still quaking inside her and her body fully aware that she’d been satisfied but not filled, she didn’t hesitate to comply. She sat down beside him and worked off her shorts and panties, while he unbuttoned and pulled at his jeans, his hands shaking with need.

No man had ever trembled for her before and the effect was devastating, turning her on and making her want to give him anything he asked for, whatever he needed and do it now.

His jeans had barely hit his ankles when she pushed him back to the ground and straddled him once more. This time, they were flesh to flesh, the heat of the outdoors no match for that of their aroused bodies. She reached down and circled his erection with her hand, feeling every hard ridge of his silken length as she ran her thumb over the already moistened head.

“Yes,” he said, on a low groan.

“Oh, yeah.” She lifted her hips and placed him where she needed him most. Her body, already wet and ready, accepted him readily and she sank down onto his swollen shaft.

He filled her completely, the sensation of slick bare skin slamming into her consciousness without warning.

“Oh my God, no condom,” he muttered, obviously coming to the same conclusion she had.

Why had she ever thought she had control? “I’m on the pill,” she said, even as common sense had her attempting to pull off him.

He gripped her hips and held her in place. “I’m safe,” he said. “Tested annually and I never have sex without a condom. Ever,” he said, his brows furrowing at the notion that he’d damn well violated that rule without thinking.

“So am I,” she murmured. Yet she’d been the one to jump him without thinking, and the whys of that didn’t bear dwelling on.

Dare saw in her face he was about to lose her.
Not happening,
he thought, and reached out to bring her back into the moment. He pushed her shirt up, found no bra, and let his thumb graze her nipple.

She sighed and rocked her hips back and forth in response. “What you do to me,” she whispered, her eyes glazing over.

“Back at ya, baby.” She had him tied up in knots, doing things he never did for another woman, taking care of her, wanting to protect her, and now making love to her with nothing between them.

Without warning, she began to rock against him and he went with it, following her cues, shifting his hips in time to the rhythm she set. She moaned and her eyelids fell shut. Dare held on long enough to watch her face as she milked his body inside hers, her obvious ecstasy and pleasure bringing him higher.

“Come here,” he said, his voice rough.

She lay down over him, her shirt pushed up to her neck, her bare breasts crushed against his chest. Taking him by surprise, she kissed him, her lips sealing his, her tongue flicking inside his mouth. And suddenly the frenzy between them grew once more. He thrust upward, taking control, plunging into her as her hips ground back into his. It didn’t matter that he’d just brought her to the brink and over a few minutes before, all of a sudden she was there again, crying out, the sound echoing in his ears and triggering his own long-held-back release.

He came long and hard, emptying himself inside her, feeling her slick walls wrapping him in snug warmth and heat. She writhed above him, giving in to her climax, her nails clawing his shoulders, her face burrowing deep into his neck as she came.

Beneath her, as reality refocused around him, Liza sprawled over him, Dare stared up at the night sky and wondered what the hell had just happened between them.

Liza pulled her clothes back on in silence. Dare did the same. She was too shaken up by what happened between them to pretend otherwise. He gathered up some things from the patio and headed inside while she cleaned up the rest. By the time she returned from dumping the trash in the garage, Dare was waiting for her in the kitchen.

He’d splashed cold water on his face and pulled himself together. She needed some time to do the same and hoped he wouldn’t ask to stay the night. Space would be a good thing about now and not because she planned on freezing him out or turning her back on him.

She just needed to find her equilibrium because he’d blown it to hell and back.

He held out his hand and she accepted the gesture.

He didn’t push for more and she was grateful. Wasn’t she? So what was the disappointment winging through her stomach that he wasn’t asking for more than she wanted to give.

“We need to talk about the car.”

She blinked, startled by the subject he chose. “That’s really not necessary. I mean, the more I think about it, the harder time I have believing that anyone deliberately cut the brake line.”

He raised an eyebrow. “Mason said—”

“Mason’s a small-town mechanic. I’d rather wait and see what Sam turns up before panicking.”

He nodded slowly.

She doubted he agreed, but he wasn’t arguing. “Besides, I have a police car driving by periodically, right? So in case there is some phantom person, they’re looking out for me.”

“It’s not enough.” He hesitated before speaking. “I should stay over.” Yet he looked torn about it.

Boy, what had happened on the patio hadn’t just shaken her up, it had thrown Mr. Confidence into a tizzy too.

At least she could reassure him on that score. “Hey, I’m not looking to insult your manhood, but let’s face it, if someone did cut my brakes, they did it while you were here in the house.” She squeezed his hand. “Really. I’ll be fine here and we obviously need space.”

“But not a break.”

She managed to smile, so relieved the cramping in her stomach eased. “No. Not a break.”

“We’re still together,” he said.

“Yes.” By
her
definition of a relationship, not his.

Not that he needed to know that. Liza would find her equilibrium and with it the safe place she’d carved out that let her tuck her feelings away where nobody could hurt her. Not her parents, not her alcoholic brother, and definitely not another man.

“Good.” Dare grinned that sexy smile she adored. “Then I’ll get going.”

She walked him to the door. “Thanks for dinner. And the wine and the flowers.”

“You’re welcome. I’ll call you tomorrow.”

She nodded. Before she could open the door, he pulled her into a mind-blowing kiss. And then he was gone.

Dare woke up Saturday to a full weekend off, and man, he needed it. After a normal workday on Wednesday, he’d switched shifts as a favor for a friend, and on Thursday he’d worked an all-nighter, then pulled a late afternoon through early evening shift on Friday. Today and tomorrow were all his own. No sooner had he rolled out of bed and his feet hit the floor than his thoughts turned to Liza.

He hadn’t spoken to her since he’d left her house Tuesday night. They’d played phone tag for the better part of the week. Between her busy schedule and his, they’d completely missed each other. Dare could have tried harder to reach her, but he’d needed breathing room.

Even for a man who liked relationships, this thing with Liza had thrown him. The feelings she aroused in him were new to the point where he didn’t recognize parts of himself anymore.

There were still things he recognized. The man who’d been atoning for his sins by becoming a cop. Dare got that. And his position in law enforcement made him protective by nature. Dare understood that too. But this desire to take care of Liza ran deeper than some job.

She rattled him to the point where he’d forgotten to question her about things that were important, like why she was so sure no one had sabotaged her car—because Dare knew someone had. For one thing, he trusted Mason. And Sam had checked with the service center that had worked on Liza’s vehicle and learned the brake line had been in perfect condition when the car left the shop.

Then there had been Liza’s insistence on the day of the accident that Brian would never intentionally hurt her. What was it she’d said?
He was the one who was there when—

It wasn’t the first time she’d alluded to…something.

What didn’t she want to tell him? The thought kept him pacing, his curiosity running rampant and not because he was a professional.

He padded across the floor in his small apartment and drew open the blinds. The morning had dawned bright and sunny. Maybe the weatherman had heard Dare’s threats about what he’d do if it rained because today was the perfect pool day. And he was off from work so he could enjoy it.

Enjoy Liza.

So much for distance,
he thought with a harsh laugh.

An hour later, he was standing with his brothers on the deck of Ethan’s pool. This mansion still blew him away. The pool house was bigger than the house he and his brothers had grown up in; the pool was massive with a built-in waterfall, and the heater ensured the perfect water temperature. Who knew his brother’s penchant for video games would translate into government contracts and a multimillion-dollar career?