Read Karlology Online

Authors: Karl Pilkington

Karlology (29 page)

BOOK: Karlology
8.68Mb size Format: txt, pdf, ePub
ads

A
ll
I
g
ot
f
or m
y
£14 was an a
q
uatic
g
ui
d
e an
d
a ma
p
. A bit late for a map now, I thought. I could have done
w
ith that two and a half hours ago. I made my way down t
h
e corri
d
or, w
h
ic
h
h
a
d
tu
b
e-s
h
ape
d
l
ig
h
ts eit
h
er si
d
e
fill
e
d
w
it
h
water t
h
at was cramme
d
f
u
ll
o
f
b
a
by
j
e
llyfi
s
h
. T
h
e
y

d
use
d
t
h
e
j
e
llyfi
s
h
to create a
l
ava-
l
am
p
e
ff
ect. I su
pp
ose
w
hen you only have so much room, you have to be creative about how you display everything. Maybe they’ll have a
h
ammer
h
ea
d
s
h
ar
k
s
q
uas
h
e
d
into a too
l
b
ox, I t
h
ou
gh
t.

O
n t
h
e wa
ll
s were
fi
s
h
f
acts
:

Fish
h
ave
b
een on t
h
e Eart
h
f
or more t
h
an 450 mi
ll
ion years
.

Fish were well established long before dinosaurs roamed th
e
Earth
.

A
star
fi
s
h
d
oesn’t
h
ave a
b
rain.

I
d
on’t
k
now i
f
t
h
e
l
ast
f
act is o
ffi
cia
l
or i
f
a
fi
s
h
h
a
d
g
ot
o
ut of a tank when no one was looking and had done some graffiti
.

Next was a
d
is
pl
a
y
t
h
at
d
emonstrate
d
h
ow muc
h
ru
b
b
is
h
, an
d
w
h
at sort o
f
ru
bb
is
h
,
h
a
d
b
een
d
um
p
e
d
in t
h
e
R
iver Thames. “At least 1000 tonnes of rubbish is removed
f
rom the Thames every year”, it said. I’m wondering if this is w
h
ere t
h
e
f
e
ll
a wit
h
t
h
e s
h
op in St James’s got
h
is stoc
k
f
rom. They’d dredged up old TVs, radios, money, ca
m
e
ras, s
y
rin
g
es an
d
stereos
f
rom t
h
e river. I
d
on’t
k
now i
f
we s
h
ou
ld
b
e ta
k
in
g
a
ll
t
h
is awa
y
f
rom t
h
e
fi
s
h
– ma
yb
e
h
avin
g
these domestic appliances around them is how they will
l
earn to evolve into humans again.

R
o
un
d
t
h
e next corner was a
b
i
g
tan
k
surroun
d
e
d
by
p
unters. Two
f
e
ll
as in t
h
e tan
k
were
f
ee
d
in
g
some
fi
s
h
wh
i
l
e ex
pl
ainin
g
t
h
at scientists are
fi
n
d
in
g
new sea
l
i
f
e a
ll
the time, and that there is still a way to go before we discover everything that’s out there. “We know more about t
h
e sur
f
ace o
f
t
h
e Moon t
h
an we
d
o a
b
out t
h
e
b
ottom o
f
t
h
e sea”, sai
d
one o
f
t
h
em. I
d
on’t
k
now w
h
at t
h
e
y
are
d
oin
g
w
orking here, then. They should be down at the Science
Museu
m
.

T
h
ey’re guessing t
h
at t
h
ere are aroun
d
32,000
d
i
ff
erent s
p
ecies o
f
fi
s
h
, w
h
ic
h
ma
k
es me won
d
er w
hy
J
esus
f
e
d
5000
p
eo
pl
e wit
h
j
ust two
fi
s
h
. He cou
ld
h
ave
g
iven t
h
em
l
oa
d
s m
o
r
e
t
h
a
n
t
h
at.
I
t
hink
t
h
e
r
ea
l r
easo
n
t
h
at
sea
l
e
v
e
l
s
a
r
e
r
ising is that there’s too many fish in the sea. Jesus didn’t use u
p
enou
gh
o
f
t
h
e
fi
s
h
w
h
en
h
e
h
a
d
t
h
e c
h
ance. I
f
h
e’
d
g
iven ever
y
one aroun
d
fi
ve
fi
s
h
, t
h
e sea
l
eve
l
wou
ld
h
ave dropped. I think this is why sushi was invented – to get us to eat as many fish as possible in a small amount of time an
d
, in turn, get t
h
e sea
l
eve
l
d
own. T
h
ere was a
d
igita
l
display on the wall in the Aquarium stating that the world
e
ats aroun
d
two
fi
s
h
ever
y
secon
d
. It’s a
ll
d
own to t
h
ese sus
h
i
b
ars. T
h
e
f
act t
h
e
y
d
e
l
iver it to customers on a conve
y
or
b
elt is proof that they can’t get rid of the stuff fast enough
.

Another thing that makes me think there are way too many
fi
s
h
is t
h
e way peop
l
e strugg
l
e to t
h
in
k
up names
f
or t
h
em an
d
h
ave to reuse t
h
e names o
f
anima
l
s t
h
at are on
l
an
d
. T
h
ere’s a cowfish, dogfish, tiger fish, lionfish, flying
fox fish, rabbit fish and elephant-nose fish. They can’t keep up with the amount of fish they’re finding. I’ve heard there is a
l
so a
fi
s
h
ca
ll
e
d
t
h
e u
p
si
d
e-
d
own cat
fi
s
h
. I’m startin
g
to
w
on
d
er i
f
t
h
is was
j
ust a
d
ea
d
cat
fi
s
h
t
h
at t
h
e
y
d
i
d
n’t
h
ave time to realise was dead due to all the other new species they were in a hurry to name
.

BOOK: Karlology
8.68Mb size Format: txt, pdf, ePub
ads

Other books

Cerulean Sins by Laurell K. Hamilton
The Ninth Orb by O'Connor Kaitlyn
Sweetest Taboo by Eva Márquez
Eden Falls by Jane Sanderson
Elemental by Antony John
Walking the Labyrinth by Lisa Goldstein
The Bride Price by Karen Jones Delk
Travis by Georgina Gentry