Karen D. Badger - Yesterday Once More (15 page)

Jordan opened her eyes. “I hope she treated you well, Maggie,” she whispered softly. She closed the diary and placed it on the bedside table. She reached for the automatic control and lowered the head of her bed. She closed her eyes and chased away images of Maggie and Jan sleeping in each other’s arms. It was a long time before Jordan finally fell asleep.

The next day was filled with tests and examinations. Jordan passed the physical examinations with ease, but the lab results were not in yet.

Peter walked into the room with the results, his smile wide, “We’re on for surgery tonight. Your lab work looks excellent. Are you ready?”

“You bet I am. The sooner we get this done, the sooner I can get out of here!”

* * *

The next morning, Andi intercepted Kale as they left their daily briefing to head to the lab. “Um, Kale, are you free for dinner?” she asked nervously.

Kale ran his hand through his already disheveled hair. “Oh, I’m sorry, Andi. Jordan had the electrode preparation surgery last night. She’s doing so well that Peter is letting her come home tomorrow. I really need to clean the house tonight.”

Andi was disappointed. “Oh, well, that’s all right. Maybe another time?”

Kale stopped her as she began to walk away. “Andi, wait. What if you come to my place and I cook for you after I clean?”

Andi found the hopeful look on his face endearing. She also found it sweet that Kale wanted to make Jordan’s home clean for her homecoming. She smiled brightly and reached out to straighten his collar. “What do you say to this: I’ll come over early and we’ll cook dinner together. Then I’ll give you a hand cleaning the house.”

Kale blushed bright red. “You don’t need to do that,” he said.

“I know I don’t, but I want to. What time would you like me to come over?”

“Anytime you like, I guess. You can even follow me home after work if you want to.”

Andi smiled. “All right.” She looked around as an awkward silence fell between them. “Well, I guess we should get to work.”

“Oh, yes, you’re right. After you,” Kale said, as a smile spread over his face.

* * *

At lunch, Kale left the institute to run to the grocery store. He bought food for dinner as well as a bottle of wine. On his way back, he stopped to visit Jordan.

He pushed the door open. Jordan was gazing longingly out the window. Kale stepped into the room. “Hey.”

Jordan turned around, smiling brightly. “Hi! I wasn’t expecting you so early.”

Kale grinned. “Change of plan. I have a date tonight.”

“Oh really?” she teased. “With Andi? What’s on the agenda?”

“Housework.”

Jordan frowned. “Come again?”

“Housework. Actually, dinner, and then housework.”

Jordan shook her head. “All right, run that by me again. I thought you said dinner then housework.”

“I did.” Kale enjoyed the confused look on Jordan’s face. “Andi is coming over right after work to help me clean the house before you come home tomorrow. We’re going to cook dinner together first.”

“Well, I’ll be. How did she react to that suggestion?”

Kale sat on the edge of Jordan’s bed. “It was her idea. She asked if I was free for dinner, and when I explained my plan to straighten up the house, she offered to help. I certainly wasn’t going to turn her down. I’m looking forward to it.”

“You really don’t have to clean the house for me.”

“Oh, yes I do. I’m afraid I haven’t been very diligent about picking up after myself over the past few days. Besides, I want your homecoming to be perfect.”

“Just going home is perfect enough. I’m looking forward to sleeping in my own bed again and wearing something besides this ever-so-flattering hospital gown. That reminds me. Could you take that bag of clothing home and bring me some clean things to go home in tomorrow?”

“Sure, no problem. I wanted to stop in to see you on my way back to the lab because I probably won’t make it tonight.”

“That’s all right. I’ve got a lot of reading to do, though I’ve come to a point in the diaries that I’m not enjoying very much.”

Kale frowned. “What do you mean?”

Jordan opened a diary and handed it to Kale. “Here, read this.”

I find myself thinking about her often. In the mornings, I stand by the kitchen window and watch the barnyard, hoping to get a glimpse of her as she exercises the horses. I believe she has caught me staring once or twice. Her smile is very endearing.

Kale looked at Jordan over the top of the page. She was sitting with her arms crossed, her chin lowered to her chest. She was pouting. He said, “It’s not like you haven’t had other lovers.”

Jordan looked at him. “No, I guess not, but it still bothers me. That should be me, Kale.”

“You really need to keep things in perspective here. You’re acting like Maggie is cheating on you.” He held the diary up for her to see. “All of this is in the past. It’s already happened. It’s history.”

Jordan pressed her head back into the mattress. “I know that, but it still hurts to know there was someone special in her life, someone who wasn’t me.”

“You had someone special in your life too. How does Maggie’s relationship with Jan differ from your relationship with Susan?”

Jordan took Kale’s hand and held it for a long time. Kale waited patiently. Finally, she raised her eyes and smiled. “How did you become so smart?”

Kale smiled back at her. “From living with you for the past four years.”

Jordan chuckled. “You would think someone with your intelligence would learn how to comb his hair.”

Kale’s free hand immediately shot to his head. “What’s wrong with my hair?”

* * *

Andi and Kale each carried two bags full of groceries into the house, along with the bag of Jordan’s laundry. Kale held the door open for Andi, who smiled at him as she squeezed past.

“Wow, what a beautiful kitchen. It looks new,” she said.

Kale placed his bags on the kitchen table then took the ones Andi was holding and placed them with the others. “We just remodeled it. The contractors finished it early this week with the installation of the new cabinets. Feel free to browse while I take care of these clothes,” Kale suggested as he left Andi in the kitchen and went to Jordan’s room.

Kale emptied the bag of clothing on Jordan’s bed and methodically checked the pockets of the jeans before throwing them in the hamper. To his surprise, he found a folded piece of paper in one of the back pockets. He dropped the jeans onto the bed and carefully opened the paper. It appeared to be very old and frayed at the edges. He began to read,

My Dearest Jordan,

I awoke this morning and saw your beautiful face beside me. Last night was so incredible. How did you have the energy to make love after working so hard yesterday filling the well? I wanted desperately to wake you with kisses and make love to you all day long, but I knew you needed to sleep. Thank you for filling the well. You were right. Putting it in the middle of the north pasture was a bad idea. How did you become so wise, lover? I have decided to take an early morning ride along the west ridge. I anticipate making love with you upon my return.

I love you with all my heart, Maggie.

Kale felt sick to his stomach.
Jordan, did you write this letter? Did you write it to yourself? It can’t possibly be real… Maggie’s been dead for one hundred years.

Kale rubbed his face vigorously. Then he remembered he had left Andi in the kitchen. Carefully, he refolded the paper and shoved it into the inside pocket of his jacket. Resolving to push his worries into the background until Andi left, he returned to his date in the kitchen.

Andi had started to unpack one bag of groceries. “Is all of this for dinner?”

Kale searched through the bags as he answered her question. “No. We were out of a few things, so I picked them up while I was out. Ah, here it is.” Kale pulled a bottle of wine and handed it to Andi. He pointed to a drawer. “The corkscrew is in that drawer, long-stemmed glasses in the cupboard to the left of the refrigerator. How about pouring us each a glass while I put these groceries away?”

“Sure.” Andi took the bottle from Kale and promptly located the corkscrew and glasses. “I’m surprised you cook the old-fashioned way,” Andi said as she poured the wine.

“What do you mean?”

“It’s much easier to just pop a four-course packet into the hydrowave.”

Kale looked over his shoulder as he transferred the canned goods to the cupboard. “My grandmother taught me how to cook, and she preferred the hands-on style of preparing a meal. I’ve tried the pre-packaged stuff, but, quite frankly, you can’t beat home cooking.”

Andi carried Kale’s glass to him as he placed the last can on the shelf. “I agree. How did you come to be so self-sufficient?”

He accepted the glass and leaned against the counter top. “When I was a kid, my grandmother took care of me while my mom worked. She made it her mission to be sure I learned how to cook and clean. I hated every minute of it, but today, I really appreciate her diligence. When I moved in with Jordan four years ago, it became somewhat of a necessity to take care of myself. Between Jordan’s independent spirit and her limitations, she forced me to carry my own weight.”

Andi sipped her wine. “This isn’t Jordan’s first implant?”

“No, I thought you knew that. I’m sorry. I should have given you more background when you joined us a few days ago.”

“No better time than the present. Tell me about her.”

Kale pulled out kitchen chair and offered it to Andi. “All right. Have a seat and I’ll give you the details while I start dinner.”

“Oh, no, you don’t. I said I would help with dinner. Lasagna, right?” Kale nodded. “I happen to make a killer spaghetti sauce.”

For the next half hour, Kale and Andi worked together as they talked. “Tell me about how Jordan ended up in a hover-chair,” she said.

Kale diced onions as he spoke. “Jordan was sixteen years old. She grew up right here on this farm. They raised horses. She was riding her mare at a full gallop across the north pasture when her horse fell into a dry well. She was thrown quite a few feet and landed in such a way that her spinal cord was completely severed.”

Andi cringed. “That must have been very difficult for her.”

Kale scraped the onions into the pan. “I’m sure it was. She mentioned once that she seriously considered suicide when she was a teenager. It’s tough to be different at that age, and Jordan was certainly very different from her peers—in more ways than one.” Kale placed the cutting board in the sink then leaned against the counter next to Andi. He crossed his legs at the ankles and sipped his wine as he watched her cook.

Andi looked at Kale from the corner of her eye. “You mean because she’s gay?”

“You know?”

Andi stirred the sauce as she nodded her head.

“How?”

“She told me. Where are your herbs and spices?” Kale frowned. “Third drawer down, next to the stove. She told you? That surprises me. She’s usually not very forthcoming with that information.”

Andi squatted down in front of the drawer and sorted through the spices. “Let’s just say she was protecting someone she loves very much.” She continued to search through the jars and cans until she found what she was looking for. “Garlic, basil, oregano, rosemary, cayenne. You have everything I need. Who’s the cook in this family, you or Jordan?”

“Jordan burns water. I do most of the cooking. What do you mean, she was protecting someone she loves? Who was she talking about?”

Andi shook spices into the meat mixture. “You,” she said without looking at Kale.

“Me? Who does she think I need protection from?”

“Herself, apparently,” Andi replied cryptically.

Kale was silent for several moments, digesting their conversation. He was having a problem connecting Jordan’s sexuality with his need to be protected. “Are you saying she told you she was gay to protect me? Why would she do that?”

Andi turned to Kale and handed her empty wine glass to him. “Please?” she asked with a sweet smile.

Kale melted. He refilled her glass and handed it back to her.

Andi kissed him lightly on the cheek. “Thanks.” She sipped the wine, then turned back to the stove to tend the meat mixture still browning in the pan.

Speechless, Kale didn’t notice that the water had begun to boil until Andi tapped him on the arm. He set the wine bottle aside, then loosely arranged the wide lasagna noodles in the water. As he stirred the noodles, his thoughts returned to their conversation. “Why does Jordan believe I need protection from her?”

Andi added several cans of tomatoes and a can of paste to the herbed and spiced meat. She stirred the mixture as she answered Kale’s question. “Not from her, but from any potential misunderstanding on my part about her role in your life.”

“Jordan is my best friend, Andi, nothing more,” he said defensively.

Andi turned toward Kale and lifted a spoonful of sauce to his mouth. “I know that now. Here—taste,” she said.

Kale obediently opened his mouth and closed his eyes to savor the sauce. “That tastes great.”