“I will. Ed, I was with Leland when it happened.”
I could hear his intake of breath. “My God. Do you want me to come over? Are you okay?”
“No, but Zack’s here. I will be. I think.”
“It never ends, does it?”
“No,” I said. “It never ends.”
The afternoon passed in a surrealistic blur. Zack took me to our doctor’s in the afternoon, and Henry pronounced me physically sound but said he was concerned about my emotional detachment so he had his wife and nurse, Gina, book an appointment for me the following week.
Then Debbie Haczkewicz came by. I’d answered her questions, but clearly I’d been an unsatisfactory witness. She was relentless as she pressed me for details. Had Leland’s eyes been focused on the sidewalk or on one of the buildings
when he shouted, “Look out”? I didn’t know. When he pulled me back, had he used real force? I couldn’t remember. Had he tried to shield me? I thought so, but maybe not. When did I notice that he’d fallen? Time didn’t make much sense any more.
I was baffled by her persistence. Leland was dead, and I didn’t remember much of what happened. It was that simple. When I walked her to the door, Debbie said, “I’ll be in touch.”
“There’s no point,” I said. “I have nothing to say.”
Debbie looked at me oddly. “I know this has been a shock, Joanne, but I have to talk to you about the case.”
“Which one?” I asked in my new detached voice. “The bombing of our house? The assault on April Stonechild? Leland’s murder? I seem to have been involved in every major crime in Regina in the past three weeks. And I don’t want to talk about any of them.”
“You don’t really have a choice.”
“Yes, I do,” I said, and then I closed the door on her.
Life went on around me. I listened and sat very still. Norine had agreed to deal with whatever came her way. She arranged for Peyben’s media relations department to release a statement announcing Leland’s death and reassuring corporate partners and investors that the company would continue to perform well. Media relations had sent a draft of the obituary they were releasing and Margot had okayed it.
Two issues remained unresolved. Leland’s Peyben colleagues wanted his funeral to be a showing of the colours – a public affair with a broad spectrum of important guests celebrating Leland’s professional accomplishments. Margot was opposed to a large public event. She and Zack had agreed to talk the problem through, but Zack assured Margot that she had the final word, and he’d support whatever she decided. The second matter was thornier. Declan wanted to live with
Margot and she wanted him with her. Declan was seventeen, so the choice was his, and his reasons were compelling: Louise’s alcoholism was consuming her life and Declan had seen enough to begin to be afraid it would consume his. Leland’s death and the news that Margot was expecting a child had opened an unexpected new place for Declan in Margot’s life and he wanted to step into it.
The problem, as always, was Louise. Declan loved his mother, and he was afraid that without him, she would disappear into the bottle.
Saying that in his world food was the currency for love, Ed insisted on dropping off dinner for all of us. As I set the table, it occurred to me that this would be our first dinner party in our new home. Margot’s sister, Laurie, had arrived from Wadena, so we would be six. At Margot and Leland’s wedding, Laurie had been ripely pregnant. She was nearly at her due date, but this was her fifth child, so she felt she would know when to call her husband, Steve, to come into Regina.
Ed’s spinach and ricotta cannelloni was an inspired choice, and although none of us believed we were hungry, we all cleaned our plates. Ed was right. No matter what, people have to eat. Even tragedy didn’t keep Wadena girls from doing their duty as guests: Margot and Laurie insisted on helping us clear the table, then quietly returned to Margot’s condo with Declan. Taylor gave him a long wordless hug as they were leaving.
When Taylor went upstairs to get ready for bed, Zack turned to me. “You’re having a rough time, aren’t you?”
“Was it that apparent?”
“Just to me. You were so quiet.” Zack’s eyes were worried. “Did you take another pill?”
“I didn’t need one,” I said. “I seem to have shut off all on my own.”
“That’s not good,” Zack said.
“It’s working for me,” I said.
Zack took my hand. “Since you haven’t had a pill since this morning, how about a shot of that Hennessey’s
XO
cognac in the liquor cabinet before we hit the sack?”
“Why not?” I said. “I wonder if Leland bought the cognac for a special occasion?”
“Don’t do that, Jo. You’re just pouring salt in the wound. Anyway, I doubt if Leland bought the cognac at all. I imagine the housekeeper just kept the bar stocked.”
We took the brandies into the bedroom. We got into our pyjamas, climbed into bed, then picked up our snifters. Zack held his glass out to me. “To Leland,” he said.
I nodded and took a sip.
Zack smiled appreciatively. “Good stuff, huh?”
“Nothing but the best,” I said.
Zack swirled his. “What do you think about Declan’s decision to move in with Margot?”
“I think it will save his life,” I said.
“So do I. I’ve already set the wheels in motion, so there’ll be no turning back. When you were getting dinner on the table, I called Sage Mackenzie and told her that Declan was moving out of Louise’s and that Margot and I knew we could count on Sage to smooth the transition.”
“How did she respond to that?”
“With relief,” Zack said. “Joanne, I know Sage isn’t your favourite person – she’s not mine either – but we may have underestimated the burden she’s carrying. According to Sage, Louise has been in free fall since the wedding. She’s drinking even more, and her behaviour has changed. Apparently Louise is normally a very angry drunk, but Sage says that today Louise has been ‘chillingly calm.’ ”
“Maybe Louise was right,” I said. “Maybe it’s easier for her now that Leland is dead. But I can’t believe Louise
will accept the idea of Declan living with Margot, under any circumstances.”
“Sage believes she will. So do I. I came to know Louise well during the time that I was paid to keep her and Declan out of trouble. Leland was Louise’s life. Declan was not a priority. In fact, she told me many times that the only reason she had Declan was because Leland wanted a child.”
“Then I’m glad he’s getting away from her,” I said. “Because if Louise told you that she never wanted a child, she’s told Declan.”
The next morning I woke up at 4:45, dressed for my run, took the elevator down to the basement, and ran for an hour on the treadmill. The exercise room in the building was windowless. There was a flat-screen
TV
on the treadmill. I turned it on and watched the last half of
Rosemary’s Baby
. Mia Farrow was pregnant with the devil’s child.
When I went back upstairs, Zack was in the kitchen, looking anxious. “Where were you?” he said.
“Running on the treadmill in the basement,” I said. “And watching
Rosemary’s Baby
.”
His face relaxed. “That’s a hell of a way to start the day. We can do better.” He held out his arms and I leaned in. “Want me to make porridge?”
“That’d be good,” I said. After I’d showered and dressed, I came back to the kitchen. The bread was in the toaster and the porridge was in the pot. Zack put the food before me, and I ate it dutifully.
Zack had pulled his wheelchair up to the table so he could face me. “So what are your plans for the day?” he said.
“I’m staying here,” I said. “I’m not quite ready for the world.”
“Are you afraid?”
I nodded. “Shouldn’t I be?”
Zack’s voice was low and comforting. “It’s possible that now that Leland’s dead, the attacks will stop. I know it’s terrible to look at what’s happened in that light, but there’s a certain logic there. I was Leland’s lawyer. The bombing of our house could have been a warning. With all the security it would have been much harder for Red Rage to bomb the condo or any of the Peyben offices than it was to get at us.”
“Do you believe that Leland was the intended target all along?”
“I think it’s possible.”
“I’m still going to stay put,” I said. “I only have two major tasks today and I can do them both from here.”
“And those tasks would be …?”
“Making peace with Mieka and being around for Margot.”
When we cleared away the dishes, I noticed the time. “Taylor must have forgotten to set her alarm,” I said. “I’ll run up and give her a nudge.” When I turned onto the landing halfway up, I saw that Zack had moved his chair to the bottom of the stairs and was watching me intently.
“I
am
going to be all right,” I said.
“Can I take that to the bank?” Zack said.
I took a deep breath. “Yes, you can take that to the bank.”
The kiss that Zack and I exchanged before he drove Taylor to her job at Willy Hodgson was a lingering one. It would be a long time before we took each other for granted.
Just after Taylor and Zack left, there was a knock at the door. My heart raced for a moment, until I heard Margot’s voice calling my name. She was dressed in jeans and a turtleneck. Her hair, still wet from the shower, was hanging loose. Her eyes were pink from weeping, but she was still Margot – strong and resourceful. She didn’t bother with preamble. “There are a couple of problems, and I need you and Zack and a small army to help me deal with them. Is Zack tied up this morning?”
“He’s taking Taylor to her volunteer work. He’ll be back in ten minutes.”
“Good,” she said. “There’s something ugly brewing at Peyben. I can feel it. I’ve had a number of lugubrious voicemails from members of Leland’s board expressing sorrow at my loss and telling me they need to meet
ASAP.”
“What’s up?”
“I’m not sure, but I’m guessing Leland’s loyal associates are going to relieve my widow’s burden by offering to buy me out – at fire sale prices.”
“Bastards.”
“They are bastards, aren’t they?” Margot said thoughtfully. “Leland’s only been dead a day, and they’re already swooping in. Anyway, I’m going to need help. I’ve called Blake. Zack and I have learned a trick or two in court, but managing an international corporation is not part of our skill set. Blake understands that world, and he knows the right people. If I have to clear the decks at Peyben and start again, Blake will have suggestions. Anyway, he should be here soon.”
“International finance is definitely not part of my skill set either,” I said. “Is there anything else I can help with?”
Margot’s smile was wan. “As a matter of fact, there is. I know you’re still reeling, but Declan’s moving out of Louise’s after school, and he could use back up. Laurie turned the phone off last night so we could get some sleep, but Louise left a half-dozen hysterical messages saying that both she and I should be grateful that Leland was at peace now and he wouldn’t be torn between us any more.”
“That’s delusional,” I said.
“I know it is,” Margot said. “And I can handle it, but I’m not sure about Declan. Louise doesn’t seem to have thought about him in the least. He barely got his father back before losing him permanently. At this point we’re all fragile, and I don’t want Declan having to deal with Louise alone. I’d go
myself, but I expect to be tied up with those buzzards from Peyben, and Declan trusts you.”
“I’ll go with him,” I said. “Zack talked to Sage yesterday. She thinks that when Declan’s gone, Louise might be ready to seek the kind of help she needs.”
Margot exhaled wearily. “I hope to God she’s right because Sage has given her notice. She says Louise is consuming so much of her time that her law practice is suffering. Sage has agreed to stay on until she gets Louise settled into some kind of rehab facility, but after that, it’s
sayonara
.”
“Maybe this is the push Louise needs to make some changes.”
“You’re just like my sister,” Margot said. “Always able to find the pony in the pile of shit.”
We exchanged wan smiles. “How are you feeling physically?” I said. The glow that pregnancy had brought Margot was gone. Her face was drawn and she was clearly exhausted.
“Fine. Aside from the obvious, I’m having a dream pregnancy.” She laughed softly. “Of course, it’s a little difficult to forget the obvious.”
When Zack got back, I told him about Margot’s concerns. “I’d better head over there,” he said. Then he held out his arms. “Let’s try to get back to normal tonight. Have a swim and do all the things that are supposed to guarantee that we’ll be together forever.”
After Zack left, I sank down on the couch in the bright living room and closed my eyes for a moment. But too much had happened, and my mind was racing. I collected my phone from the bedroom. There was a message from Norine. Margot wanted a small religious service. Did I have any ideas about a venue that might be suitable?
I called Norine and suggested a couple of possibilities. My own preference was for the Luther chapel at the university.
It was an intimate and attractive space and the Hunters had ties to Luther. Declan was a student at the high school, and Leland had been a generous donor to the Luther College building fund. Norine said it sounded promising and she’d check it out.
As soon as I hung up, I squared my shoulders and hit Mieka’s number.
My daughter sounded as strained as I felt. “The girls and I were just talking about you. We wondered if you’d like to come for a visit this morning,” she said.
It was an olive branch, and I was eager to seize it, but I wasn’t ready yet to leave the safety of the building. “Could you come here?” I asked. “I don’t think I’m up to driving.”
“Sure.” Mieka hesitated for a beat. “I never thought I’d be asking you this, Mum, but where do you live?”
“In the building on Halifax Street where Ed and Barry were married.” I gave her the number she needed to buzz our condo. “It’s a pretty day,” I said. “We could have tea in the roof garden.”
“The girls would like that,” Mieka said. “Mum, are you okay? You sound pretty zoned out.”
“I’m okay. There’s just so much sadness here. It’ll be good to see you and the girls.”