K-Pax (96 page)
eve
n
suicide-withou
t
prot'
s
knowledge
.
I
wa
s
mor
e
certai
n
tha
n
eve
r
tha
t
I
ha
d
t
o
ge
t
throug
h
t
o
hi
m
as
soo
n
a
s
possible
.
I
n
fact
,
ther
e
wasn'
t
a
momen
t
t
o
lose
.
I
stoo
d
u
p
an
d
remove
d
th
e
tap
e
fro
m
th
e
spot
o
n
th
e
wal
l
behin
d
me
.
pro
t
fel
l
int
o
hi
s
usua
l
dee
p
tranc
e
immediately.
"W
e
ar
e
no
w
i
n
th
e
present
.
prot
?
D
o
yo
u
understand?"
"Yes
.
I
t
i
s
no
t
a
difficul
t
concept."
"Good
.
I
s
Rober
t
ther
e
wit
h
you?"
"Yes."
"Ma
y
I
spea
k
t
o
him
,
please?"
"Yo
u
may
,
bu
t
h
e
probabl
y
won'
t
spea
k
t
o
you."
"Pleas
e
le
t
hi
m
com
e
forward."
Silence
.
Rober
t
slouche
d
dow
n
i
n
th
e
chair
,
hi
s
chi
n
o
n
hi
s
chest.
"Robert?"
N
o
response.
"Robert
,
thi
s
i
s
Docto
r
Brewer
.
Pleas
e
ope
n
you
r
eyes.
"
Ther
e
wa
s
a
barel
y
detectabl
e
shif
t
i
n
his
position
.
"Robert
,
liste
n
t
o
me
.
I
a
m
no
t
jus
t
tryin
g
t
o
hel
p
you
.
I
kno
w
I
ca
n
hel
p
you
.
Pleas
e
trus
t
me.
Ope
n
you
r
eyes!
"
Hi
s
eye
s
flickere
d
ope
n
fo
r
a
moment
,
the
n
close
d
again.
Afte
r
a
fe
w
second
s
h
e
blinke
d
severa
l
times
,
a
s
i
f
vacillating
,
an
d
finall
y
the
y
staye
d
open
.
I
t
was
littl
e
mor
e
tha
n
a
vacan
t
stare
,
bu
t
i
t
wa
s
something.
"Robert
!
Ca
n
yo
u
hea
r
me?
"
Afte
r
wha
t
seeme
d
lik
e
a
n
eternit
y
I
detecte
d
a
hin
t
o
f
a
nod
.
"Good.
No
w
I
wan
t
yo
u
t
o
focu
s
you
r
attentio
n
o
n
th
e
spo
t
o
n
th
e
wal
l
behin
d
me."
Th
e
lifeles
s
eyes
,
gazin
g
emptil
y
a
t
th
e
edg
e
o
f
m
y
desk
,
shifte
d
upwar
d
slightly.
"
A
littl
e
higher
.
Rais
e
you
r
eye
s
a
littl
e
higher!"
Slowl
y
hi
s
focu
s
lifted
,
a
n
inc
h
a
t
a
time
,
slowly
,
slowly
.
Ignorin
g
m
y
presenc
e
completely
,
h
e
lifted
hi
s
gaz
e
t
o
th
e
wal
l
behin
d
m
y
shoulder
.
Hi
s
mout
h
ha
d
falle
n
open.
"Good
.
Now
,
liste
n
carefully
.
I'
m
goin
g
t
o
coun
t
forwar
d
fro
m
si
x
t
o
ten
.
A
s
I
count
,
you
r
eyelid
s
will
becom
e
heav
y
an
d
yo
u
wil
l
gro
w
increasingl
y
sleepy
.
B
y
th
e
tim
e
I
ge
t
t
o
ten
,
yo
u
wil
l
b
e
i
n
a
deep
trance
.
Bu
t
yo
u
wil
l
b
e
abl
e
t
o
hea
r
an
d
understan
d
everythin
g
I
say
.
No
w
thi
s
i
s
ver
y
important
:
Whe
n
I cla
p
m
y
hands
,
yo
u
wil
l
wak
e
up
.
D
o
yo
u
understand?"
A
tiny
,
bu
t
definite
,
nod.
"Good
.
We'l
l
begi
n
now
.
Six...
"
I
watche
d
carefull
y
a
s
hi
s
eyelid
s
bega
n
t
o
droop
.
"..
.
an
d
ten.
Robert
,
ca
n
yo
u
hea
r
me?"
N
o
response.
"Robert?"
Unintelligible.
"Pleas
e
spea
k
louder."
A feebl
e
"Yes,
"
mor
e
lik
e
a
gurgle
.
Bu
t
someon
e
wa
s
there
!
A
t
tha
t
momen
t
I
wa
s
very
,
ver
y
gla
d
I
ha
d
chose
n
t
o
becom
e
a
psychiatrist.
"Good
.
No
w
liste
n
t
o
me
.
W
e
ar
e
goin
g
t
o
trave
l
bac
k
i
n
time
.
Imagin
e
th
e
page
s
o
f
a
calendar
turnin
g
rapidl
y
backward
.
I
t
i
s
no
w
Augus
t
eighth
,
1989
,
exactly
,
on
e
yea
r
ago
.
No
w
i
t
i
s
1988
;
now
