Justify My Thug (12 page)

I looked at the hand-carved knife that had swirling designs carved into the blade. The handle was bejeweled. It was indeed beautiful. “Yes, Father.” Like a child on Christmas my father's eyes lit up. Then in an instant, the light was gone, replaced by darkness that seemed cold and distant. My father walked over to my bodyguard Luther.

“Where were you when this woman was assaulting my daughter?” he asked Luther.

“Outside by the car. I—”

“Silence! Your job was to protect my daughter, but she still ended up hurt. You failed her. You failed me and you failed your family.” My father turned and plunged the knife into Luther's chest. “Failure is unacceptable.”

Luther fell to his knees; he grabbed the knife and pushed it further into his chest, “I don't deserve forgiveness. I will regain my honor in my next life.” He knew that he had failed my family.

When I pulled up in front of the house, Tasha was sitting on the porch but got up and went inside before I could even shut the car off. When I stepped into the house she was seated at
the dining room table thumbing through that damn folder. I got caught slippin'.

So I immediately told her, “Tasha, don't start trippin'. It ain't what you think it is.”

“Oh, I ain't trippin'. Not yet.”

“What is that supposed to mean?”

She didn't answer my question but stood up and grabbed the folder. “Let's go to the bank. These trust funds need to be amended to include my signature. I need to be able to have access before the kids turn of age. With you being so fuckin' reckless, anything could happen to you. I'll be in the car.” She walked out of the dining room, leaving me alone.

I stood there thinking about what she said. Shit, I figured she was right, especially since I had just began my killing spree. That shit could go either way, since I had yet to catch up with Marv. I turned the dining room light out, got outside and locked the front door. I kept going over what she had just said. Tasha was too calm for me and I knew she was up to something.

“What happened between you and Charli?”

“Don't you dare question me about your jump off. You probably was with her last night, so I'm sure she told you what happened.”

“I was not with her. I wish you would stop insinuating that I still fuck with her. That shit is gettin' old Tasha.”

“Whatever, nigga.” She turned her back towards me.

I wanted to reach inside the truck, yank her ass out and put my foot in her ass. Instead, I took a deep breath, walked around to the other side and got in the truck. I drove to the bank in silence.

We arrived about a half hour later and got out. I followed
Tasha inside of the crowded bank and went to take a piss. When I came out Tasha had her arms folded across her chest and I knew that she was ready to argue. So I sat across from her and picked up a brochure off of the waiting room table.

As we sat and waited for our banker to see us, she looked over at me and asked, “Why are you still fuckin' with that bitch, Trae?”

I sighed. I was tired of this game. I played, I lost and now I needed to figure out how to get back right. “Tasha, I told you. I—”

“You ain't tell me shit.” She snapped, not bothering to lower her voice.

“Well, I'm telling you now.” I spoke low, through gritted teeth. “I ain't fuckin' her. She owed me money. That's it. That's all.”

“Nigga, please. The last time she owed you money your dick did all of the negotiating. What were you planning on using this time?”

I shook my head after an older white woman frowned and covered her child's ears. I didn't respond because she was starting to get loud and I knew this was an argument I wasn't trying to win, especially not in no damn bank lobby. I'll handle the shit when we get home.

She obviously didn't like the fact that I wasn't responding, because she said, “Well, you can have her … or what's going to be left of her once I finish doing what I gotta do.”

“What?” I stared at my wife who had a crazed look in her eyes as she stared back at me. Then our banker Mike came and greeted us. We stood up and followed him to his office. I let Tasha do all of the talking as I kept thinking about her last threat. She kind of had my ass buggin' at that shit. I hadn't
spoken to Charli and didn't intend to. But I did meet up with Stephon and Benny last night and Stephon was scared shitless.

My train of thought was interrupted when she said, “Last but not least, we are going to add another million dollar trust fund to our portfolio for the baby I'm carrying.”

“Come again?” I turned to face her. I needed to make sure that I was hearing her right.

“Yes, you know that you are hoping that this baby is yours and if something happens to you, this baby needs to be taken care of as well.”

Mike's face turned beet red. He was hearing some Maury shit, up close and personal. Without even consulting with me he got up to follow Tasha's instructions. My wife was really fuckin' with my head. I began to entertain the thought of the baby actually being mine. And before I knew it, Mike was back at his desk with the papers.

Tasha wasted no time. She pointed to the documents. “Sign here. And here. And here.”

I had to look at my wife to make sure she was serious. Maybe I was being
Punk'd.
I looked at Mike and he looked serious, Tasha looked like a mad woman. I looked around at my surroundings and nothing seemed out of the ordinary.

“You must be out of your got-damned mind. I'll put you on my kid's paperwork, but you let that nigga pay for his own seed, that's if the muthafucka make it.

“Aiight.” Tasha said, real cool. “Okay. This is how you wanna play?”

“What the fuck you mean is this how I wanna play? That ain't my fuckin' seed! What the fuck do I look like to you, Tasha?”

“Nigga, are you sure the ones you are signing for belong to you?”

I lunged at this bitch's throat and I swore that I was going to kill her at that very moment.

Mike's ass was hysterical as he called for security to come and save Tasha from me.

“Mr. Macklin, please. Please let her go.”

As Tasha fought to catch her breath, I ripped up all of them muthafuckin' documents. “Bitch, you must have bumped your head.” I stormed out of the bank and headed for my ride.

It wasn't the money. Shit it was only a million dollars. If it was going to get me back tight with my wife, a mil was more than worth it. But she asked me to put up for some other niggas baby? Then she had the nerve to insinuate that our kids wasn't from my loins? She had to be trying me. No, I think the bitch was trying to run me crazy.

I was driving us back to the house, looking straight ahead, when Tasha hauled back and punched me dead in the face. The truck swerved, horns started honking as I yelled, “What the fuck is wrong with you?”

She started spazzing on me. “I actually came back to our home thinking that we could work our shit out. And you still fuckin' with that ho?” She punched me again. This time I pulled over, threw the car in park and was getting ready to fuck her ass up, but she jumped out of the truck and started walking down the street. The sun was glaring down on her and it looked like she didn't have on any panties on under that sundress.

I got out, caught up to her, snatched her by her hair and dragged her ass back to the truck. “What? You done lost your fuckin' mind? Right now you don't want to try me, Tasha. Now, get out again.”
I dared her. She must have seen that I was not fucking with her because she got in, sat back and put her seatbelt on.

I may have gone too far. I should have quit while I was ahead. Realizing that I should have just chilled out because I fucked up the trust funds. But the more I thought about him and that Chinese bitch, the madder I got. The next thing I knew, I swung on him. But now this nigga was standing by the truck looking at me as if he wanted to kill me. I was looking out of the window and praying that he got his ass back in the truck and drove me home. I was holding my breath as he stood there. I could tell that he was debating on whether he should whip my ass or not. Finally, he made his move, came around and got in.

“I know I fucked up,” he mumbled as if it hurt him to acknowledge that yes indeed he did fuck up!

I looked at him. The wise Tasha was saying,
“Don't say a word. Just get home, get your shit and leave.”
I fought like hell to keep the scorned Tasha at bay until we pulled in front of our house. But the scorned Tasha … now that bitch was causing me turmoil. I lost control of her. And the minute we pulled up, she let loose. I jumped out of the car and so did Trae.

“You know what nigga? Yes, you did fuck up. You started all of this shit and you best believe I'ma finish it.”

“You finished it already! Have you forgotten that you fucked a nigga? Whose baby are you carrying Tasha?”

Even though I started laughing, his words cut through me like a knife. And the look in his eyes was more hate than love. I
started to just walk away, but fuck the bullshit, I had to respond since the muthafucka asked.

“Did you forget that not only did you fuck the bitch, but then you had me, your wife, sitting in the fucking doctor's office getting medication for a gotdamn STD? Do you know how embarrassing that shit is? So don't get in my face about me fucking another nigga. At this point I don't give a fuck whose baby it is! You want to rumble muthafucka, let's rumble.” I stood there glaring at him. He stood glaring at me. I finally took my ass in the house and was going to get my shit and leave for good, but with each step I took it was harder and harder. The Tasha who he had swept off her feet was hurting real bad and she didn't want what she had with the fuck up outside to be over.

I followed her in the house, thinking about Sabeerah, the bitch who drugged me a while ago and took the dick. But I knew not to reveal that. Simply because if Tasha knew it was two bitches that I fucked instead of one it would definitely be over. When I came out of that daze Tasha was walking down the hall heading towards our bedroom. So I went after her. When I entered the room she was sitting on the bed staring at the floor with tears running down her face.

“Oh, God. How did we get here, Trae? What happened to us?”

There was no doubt that I had disappointed my wife. I let her down. I had sworn to her that I would never do what those other niggas did to her … but I did. Not because I wanted to but shit happened and I couldn't take it back. No matter how bad I wanted to.

“I fucked up baby. And I take full responsibility for my actions. You fucked up trying to get back at me. So it is what it is.” I said as I lowered myself to her feet.

“I wish we would have never moved out here. Kyra is dead, our marriage is dead. Everything we built together is crumbling.” She was crying for real and it was tearing me up.

“I'ma make it right. I promise.”

My wife looked at me with disbelief in her eyes and shook her head. “Promise? I used to be able to put my life on your promises. But not anymore. It's over for us, Trae. We need to start accepting that.”

“Baby, look me in the eyes and tell me that you really believe it's over between us.”

“It's over, Trae.”

“Baby, your mouth is saying that, but you looked away. You know you don't believe that.”

“What am I supposed to believe then?” she cried louder.

“Believe that we can work through this. Believe that we are
supposed
to work through this. Just because we are thrown a curve ball, it don't mean that we're out.” She looked at me and was looking at me hard. I could tell that she was wanting to believe me and was wondering if what I had just told her was humanly possible. “I'll never stop loving you, Tasha. You are my world. Now tell me that you don't know that.”

“I used to know that, Trae. There used to be no doubt in my mind. Now, I honestly don't know shit anymore. I don't know what to think.” She reached over to the nightstand and grabbed some tissue.

“Think about us, baby.” I was damn near begging.

“But … this … baby.” She said it. It was forced but she said
it. I could tell that the baby situation was tearing her up. Hell, it was tearing me up. “What do we do about the baby?”

“Let's find out whose it is first.”

“Then what?”

And just as the words left her mouth I leaned in and kissed her lips and it was the sweetest kiss we had ever shared and it was the first one in a long while. Then she stopped me.

“No, Trae. I don't think we need to let this happen.” She was dead serious. “It's only going to confuse things.”

Confuse things?
“It's already happening.” I said as I laid her back. “You belong to me, Tasha Macklin.” I kissed her again. She tried to resist. “I love you more than any other nigga ever will. You can put your life on that.”

“Then why Trae? Why did you—”

I covered her lips with mine and I thought no kiss could be sweeter than the last one, but it was happening again. I slipped my hand up her dress and as always got hard instantly, thanks to her not having on any panties. I stopped kissing my wife and looked down at her beautiful face. “So what's up?” I eased off of her, stood up and unzipped my jeans. “You was planning on giving me some pussy?”

“I was last night but since you didn't come home, you blew that.”

I was stripping as fast as I could. “I had to meet up with Stephon and Benny to see what the fuck you had done. I knew I couldn't count on you to tell me everything.”

You damn right you couldn't. And if that trip down the stairs didn't flush that muthafuckin' bastard out of her womb, I was going to plan B.

My husband stood there bucknaked, massaging his dick. I tried to resist but the more I watched him, the hotter and wetter my pussy became. I finally stood up and tossed my dress onto the floor, climbed onto the bed and crawled to the edge. I was convinced that my husband had the prettiest and biggest, black dick in the universe and I couldn't remember the last time I had sucked it. It was sticking straight out at me and I could have sworn that he whispered my name, so I answered him.