Justice Is a Woman (32 page)

was out of his seat and had opened the back door of the car and was sitting beside her.

With their hands

gripping, they gazed at each other;

then his arms were about her and hers about him, and, their mouths pressed close, they held each other

tightly for what seemed an endless time.

“Oh! Betty. Betty. I can’t tell you, I simply can’t tell you how. I feel. You ... you believe me, don’t

you?”

“Yes, Joe.”

“It’s ... it’s as if I was starting a new life. I ... I never believed I’d get a second chance at happiness ...

not that.” He screwed up his

face and turned his head aside for a moment.

“My marriage has never spelt happiness. Madness, yes, insanity, anything, but not

happiness.

And .. and you, you really care for me, Betty? “

“Oh, Joe, I haven’t words; I’ve worn them out over the years by burying them. The only comfort I had

were dreams. Not daydreams; I wouldn’t allow myself those, but I dreamt of you most

every night.

And always you loved me, and .. and I was beautiful.”

“You are, you are beautiful.”

“Oh! Joe. Joe’ she now closed her eyes and bent her head ‘don’t scoff.”

Her chin was jerked upwards, his fist tight under it, and his voice was tender as he said,

“Look at me.

Look at me, Betty. I’d never really seen you until the night you nearly died. And, you know, that night

you had a beauty that was all your own, and you haven’t lost it since. It’s in your eyes. I never really

thought you plain, but now, since well, since we know how we both feel, you’ve taken on a beauty that

will grow with the years.”

As her eyelids blinked rapidly he traced his fingers around the outline of her mouth as he said, “What are

we going to do, Betty?

Things can’t go on as they are. “

“Oh, my dear, we’ll have to think, think carefully. There are so many people who can be hurt.”

“It won’t hurt Elaine.”

“Oh, there you are mistaken. If you’d picked anyone else she might forgive you, but not when it’s me.

As for what she will say about me . Oh!”

“She can’t say anything about you, she’s meeting another fellow in London and has been for some time

now.”

When she said nothing to this, he narrowed his eyes at her and said, “You knew?”

“Yes.”

“And you said nothing?”

“How could I?”

“Yes, how could you? But you see it makes things easier; she can’t throw any stones.”

“I wish I could think so.”

“Betty, we must come together; I need you. Do you need me?”

Her hand tightened on his and he looked deep into her eyes and said softly, “Where?

When?”

With gaze averted, she said, “I’ve thought about it. In her last letter Lady Mary said that she’s got to

have her teeth out; four back ones, and that she must stay in hospital overnight. She ... she goes in next

Friday.”

He turned her face towards him and they looked into each other’s eyes for a long moment before he

kissed her gently on the lips; then, giving her his hand, he helped her out and into the front seat of the car.

Lady Mary’s greeting of Betty was characteristic.

“Well! You’ve arrived at last,” she said.

“And my! you look like a scarecrow. What have they done to you? But need I ask, they

have worked

you to death.”

She now turned to Joe and said, “And let me tell you, you can phone or whistle or send smoke-signals, but she’s not going back there for at least a month, and not at all if I have my way. “

A short while later, when they were all in the sitting-room, and when she could get a word in, Betty

asked, “And how are you?”

The? Oh, I’m as fit as a fiddle except for these accursed teeth. I would let them stay there, even when

the aching nearly drives me mad, but they are causing my breath to smell like a cesspool.

I just noticed it

recently. Why don’t people tell you your breath is offensive? Why don’t they give some sign, wrinkle

their nose or something? I would. “

Betty smiled quietly as she thought. Yes, indeed, you would. But oh, how nice it was to be here. It

was like coming home. This room wasn’t half the size of Elaine’s drawing-room, nor yet as big as her

own sitting-room, but it was more comfortable, and more gracious.

“Did I tell you that Nancy got married? Fool of a girl. Living down in the village now. I bet that Mrs.

Bailey put her up to it.

“Get married,” she would have said to her, “so you’ll have an excuse to live out.” I could never stand

that Mrs. Bailey; an upstart, a real upstart. Sending her son to Oxford, indeed! Mrs.

Pollard is much

better, knows her place .. I’ve been here a fortnight on my own. “

“What about Dobson and his wife; have they gone?”

“No, no, they haven’t gone. Why should they go? They know when they are well off. Do

you know

what I have done ? I’ve had a bathroom put in their cottage. Yes, a bathroom. But they are

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three hundred yards away along the road; what if I needed them in an emergency? “

“You must put the phone in, so you can ring them whenever you want them.”

“Yes, yes’ Lady Mary nodded now ‘of course. That’s what I’ll do.

She won’t like it, his wife. You know why? “

She now turned to Joe, and he, his lips in a twisted smile, replied briefly, “No.”

“Cos she’s afraid of me, scared stiff of me. And I play on it.” She grinned wickedly.

“I stare at her without speaking and then I let out a bawl. The creature jumps. Stupid woman! I want

to say to her: You’re a fool. Do you know that? You’re a fool. You shouldn’t be afraid of anyone. If

you are, you should have the sense not to show it, I nearly took her hand the other day and pulled her in

here and said, “ Sit down, woman, and look at me. What do you see? A bundle of old-

fashioned

clothes on an eighty-plus emaciated body. But what does the body matter? what do the

clothes matter?

it’s the mind that matters, and you’ve got a mind, woman. Use it and make it tell you that you’re as good

as the next. “

Betty bent her head and bit on her lip. Contradiction on top of contradiction. She still held it against

Mrs. Bailey for having sent her son to a grammar school in the first place; and yet here she was, the old

autocrat of autocrats, preaching equality. What would have happened if poor Mrs.

Dobson had stood

up to her in the way she was advocating? But she hadn’t time to give herself the answer before

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Lady Mary supplied it by crying, “And what would have happened to the poor individual had she stood

up for herself, eh?” She now put her head back and laughed, a high trilling laugh.

“I would have thrown her out of the door. And what does that go to prove, Mr.

Remington?” She was

now confronting Joe.

“That you are very much of a woman, Lady Ambers.”

“Huh! Well—’ Her old head wagged, her lips pursed themselves, her eyes twinkled, and

she answered

him, “ Neatly put, but it was a superficial answer. Now if I’d asked the question of Betty here, what

would she have said? “ She now turned and looked at Betty: “ What would you have said, eh? Come

on, tell me. “

Betty glanced at Joe before she looked back at Lady Mary and said, “Much the same, that your attitude

would have been characteristic of you.”

“No, you wouldn’t. You’re just saying that so that his remark’ she nodded towards Joe

‘won’t be

considered trite. Had we been on our own you would, in your own particular way, have

let me have it.”

She now turned to Joe again, saying, “That’s the difference between her and other people: she’s not afraid of me! she never has been. And why? Because she’s herself, and she’s got a mind,

and she uses it; I don’t think she has much chance for intelligent conversation in your home. “

Joe’s face was unsmiling now. His jaw moved from one side to the other before he said slowly, “We’re

not a lot of morons. Lady Ambers.”

“Oh, you surprise me.”

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A quick signal from Betty’s eyes quelled the sharp retort that he was about to make, but as quick as it

was it didn’t escape the old lady’s scrutiny, and her head went back and she laughed

again as she cried,

“Oh my! Oh my! the male ego must not be affronted. Don’t worry, Mr. Remington’ she

now leaned

towards him “ I’ll behave myself from now on and play the hostess. Lunch should be

ready any time

now. Let’s have a drink. Ring the bell. “ She motioned with a bob of her head towards a hand bell on

the table to the side of Joe’s chair, and after he had rung it and no-one appeared in the room, she

commanded, “ Again! “

His eyes were downcast and his head was slightly to the side as he again picked up the bell. After a few

moments, during which she had asked Joe what he would prefer to drink, and there was

still no answer

to the summons, Betty, making an attempt to rise, said, “I’ll go and see.”

“You’ll do no such thing!” The old lady was on her feet.

“She’ll be outside sunning herself in the garden; taking a mouthful of air, she calls it.”

A minute later, when they were left alone, they looked at each other, Betty smiling, Joe, lips

compressed, his head shaking.

“You mustn’t mind her,” Betty said softly.

“Mind her?” He moved his chair closer to hers so that he could touch her hand.

“She’s a tartar. And yet you’re so fond of her?”

“Yes.” She nodded slowly at him.

“I could say I love her; next to you I love her best in the world.”

“Next to me? Oh! Betty. Betty.”

The following Friday Betty accompanied Lady Mary to the hospital; and when she was

about to leave

her she felt overcome with guilt for a moment when the old lady patted her hand and said with genuine

concern, “You needn’t be afraid to stay in the house alone, we never get prowlers, not at night,

anyway.” The old lady’s further words of explanation and suggestion were heard but

hardly registered:

“The men who are still on the road come begging at the gate during the day but I’ve

never been disturbed

at night. Anyway, should you be alarmed, go to my bedroom window and shout. Mrs.

Dobson will

likely hear you; from her own account she never sleeps.”

And now Betty was back in the house. Both Mrs. Pollard and Nancy had gone to their

homes over an

hour ago. It had turned eight o’clock and he hadn’t yet arrived. He had said he would be here around

half-past seven.

At nine o’clock he still hadn’t arrived. She was tired of walking from the drawing-room to the kitchen,

the window of which looked out on to the yard and the narrow drive leading to the side road. She had

purposely not switched on the kitchen light so that she could see the road.

Had there been an accident? Had something happened at the house, something that would prevent his

coming? But surely he would have phoned her.

She rolled her hands in the collar of her dressing—gown and pulled it tight around her throat. She had

known it was too much to ask, too much to

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expect that this thing should happen to her. She was forty-one years old, she was in the time, or Hearing

the time, when the cycle of life would change, a time of life when women who’d had a

succession of

children thanked God that nature had let up on them. But she had never tasted such

nature. What was

more, she had never discussed the subject with anyone, not even with Elaine. Oh no, not with Elaine,

who looked upon nature, at least where it concerned Joe, as something to cause the lips to draw back

from the teeth.

By ten o’clock she was no longer standing by the kitchen window.

Sitting on the couch in the sitting—room, staring into the fire, she questioned the whole experience of the

last few months. Perhaps she had dreamt it. After all, what had actually happened? When she had

thought she was dying she had told him that she loved him, and he had held her in his arms and kissed

her. But that memory was hazy, as were the days that followed, days when she couldn’t hold any food in

her stomach, when diarrhoea and sickness made her at times wish she had died. What had transpired

between them then? The touch of the hand, an exchange of glances. They had never been alone

together until they made the journey in the car. But that had been real. Yes, that had been real; that was

no dream. Yet she did not know for certain if he loved her; what she did know was that he needed her

as much as she needed him, and that if it had been possible he would be here now.

Yes, she was certain of that. Something had happened. So what must she do ? She must

phone the

house.

She had already risen from the couch when she heard the knock on the front door, and

she seemed to

leap from where she was to the actual door itself, and when she flung it open to see Joe they each

remained still, gazing at each other before, their arms going out, they pressed close and stood silent for a

moment.

On a deep intake of breath, she said, “I ... I never heard the car;

I. I thought something had happened. Did .. did you have a puncture? “

“No, no.” He took off his coat and, putting his arm around her shoulders, walked her into the

sitting-room; then, sitting close together on the couch, he rested his eyes on her for a moment before

taking her face between his hands and kissing her gently on the lips.

“There were ructions on at home,” he said.