Authors: Radclyffe
“Oh God, Dell,” Sandy cried. “Baby, baby, I’m coming so hard.”
Her eyes slammed shut as her face twisted in pleasure, but Dell kept her eyes open, drinking her in, filling her mind and body with the sights and sound and sensation. Sandy was so beautiful, so open and vulnerable and trusting in that moment that Dell wanted to cry. She kept going until Sandy collapsed bonelessly onto the bed, her arms flopping out to her sides, her breath fluttering out on a long, contented moan. Dell stopped thrusting and lightly caressed Sandy’s still turgid clitoris.
“Get your hands away from me,” Sandy muttered.
Dell laughed and kissed her nipple.
Sandy swatted at her head. “I mean it. Off. No mouth either.”
“You said you wanted—”
“Shut up, Dell.” Sandy stroked the back of Dell’s head, then yanked on her hair. “Who said you could get off by yourself like that?”
Dell leaned on her elbow and pulled the sheet up to their waists. “I can’t help it if you get me so excited I practically pop.”
“Geez, what are you? Fourteen?”
“Only where you’re concerned.”
“Better remember that,” Sandy said, her expression suddenly serious.
“I remember, babe,” Dell said just as seriously. As part of her cover, she had to hang out in strip clubs and get friendly with the working girls. Sometimes acting friendly meant getting a little physical. She’d had a hard time at first not responding to the foreplay, and Sandy knew it. It wasn’t that she wanted to get turned on by anyone except Sandy, but the adrenaline rush of being undercover coupled with the physical stimulation was arousing. “I’ve got a handle on it now.”
“Uh-huh.” Sandy wrapped one leg around the back of Dell’s thigh and curled more tightly into her embrace. “You’re not going out tonight, are you?”
“Not tonight. I have to call the guys tomorrow to set something up. Probably tomorrow night.”
“Me too,” Sandy said sleepily.
Dell wanted to argue about that, but not now. Now she just wanted to hold her. She settled against the pillow, Sandy in her arms, and closed her eyes. “Love you.”
“Yeah, me too, rookie.” Sandy sighed. “Michael offered me a job.”
“Yeah?” Dell asked carefully, suddenly wide-awake. “What did you say?”
“That I’d think about it.”
“That’s good.” Dell’s heart did a little dance at the thought of Sandy being off the streets and tucked away somewhere safe. But the decision was Sandy’s, and Dell vowed not to push.
“Yeah, I guess.” Sandy sighed again. “I’m not so sure.”
“Go to sleep, baby. We’ll figure it out.”
“Yeah?”
Dell kissed her. “Promise.”
“I didn’t know Rebecca was planning on going to work,” Catherine said to Watts.
The doorbell had chimed at seven forty-five just as she was pouring the morning coffee. She’d rearranged her early-morning patient hours so that she could be home with Rebecca on her first day out of the hospital. Apparently, she was the only one who thought her lover needed a few days to recuperate.
“Sorry, Doc.” Watts quickly found something fascinating to study on the ceiling. “The Loo isn’t answering her pager or cell phone, so I figured I’d just swing by.”
“Her cell phone is missing. I think her pager’s in a drawer somewhere. They gave it to me at the hospital with the rest of her things.” Except her weapon. They hadn’t given her Rebecca’s shoulder harness and gun. She imagined those were somewhere at police headquarters and, seeing Watts at the door, she was sure Rebecca would be wearing them before the day was out.
“Right. I would’ve used a landline, but I thought maybe you’d be sleeping.”
Catherine laughed wryly. “Usually I’m gone by now.” She held the door wide, glad that she was wearing a loose long-sleeved pullover and cotton pants rather than her normal sleepwear. “Come in, William. Have some coffee. I’ll tell Rebecca you’re here.”
“I can wait in the car.” Watts halted just inside the door. “Uh…maybe I’ll just come back—” He broke off, his attention riveted across the room.
Rebecca came downstairs into the living room, wearing faded chinos and an open-collared shirt, toweling her hair as she walked. She slowed when she saw Watts. “Problem?”
“Sorry, Loo. I got my signals crossed. The captain wants us in his office, and I thought…” He glanced at Catherine and started to back out onto the porch. “I’ll fill you in later.”
Catherine turned to Rebecca. “Are you going in?”
“I thought this afternoon.” Rebecca glanced at Watts. “Is it urgent?”
He held up his hands and shrugged. “Henry called me. Said he wanted us in his office first thing. I’m just the messenger, Loo. I’ll tell him I couldn’t reach you.”
“William,” Catherine said, “go get that coffee. Rebecca and I just need a few minutes.”
Watts glanced at Rebecca, who nodded, and he hurried toward the kitchen.
“It didn’t occur to me you were planning on going back to work today,” Catherine said as she walked to the far side of the living room.
She stopped in front of the French doors that opened onto the small, stone-walled backyard. Rebecca came up beside her. Catherine could smell the woodsy tang of her cologne and thought of all the nights she had gone to sleep alone with only a hint of Rebecca’s fragrance for company. She pushed the thought away. She needed to deal with now.
“I meant to talk to you about it last night,” Rebecca said, “but I fell asleep. I’m sorry.”
“No, it’s not your fault. You needed to sleep.” Catherine watched the fallen leaves, only shriveled brown ghosts of their former gloriously colored selves, swirl across the gray flagstones on the small patio. Winter was right around the corner.
“I didn’t realize you’d taken the morning off.” Rebecca brushed her fingertips across Catherine’s shoulder.
“I forgot to tell you.” Catherine shook her head. “It seems we’re both guilty of assumptions.”
Rebecca shoved a hand through her hair and made an exasperated sound. “Could we be any more civil?” She grasped Catherine’s shoulders and gently pulled her around until they were face-to-face. “I should have come straight home yesterday. Or at least I should’ve told you where I was going. It was thoughtless of me. I’m sorry.”
“Why didn’t you?” Catherine waved a hand. “Not the call me part, but why didn’t you come home? What was so important that you had to go straight from the hospital to work?”
“I’d been out of the loop for a couple of days and I had no idea what was going on with the operation,” Rebecca said, searching for the right words. “It felt like part of my life had dropped into a black hole. I just wanted to get reconnected.”
“Reconnected.” Catherine tried not to be hurt at Rebecca choosing her work over their relationship. She tried to imagine how she would feel if she were suddenly unable to go to the hospital and keep her patient appointments. She’d be concerned over not taking care of her responsibilities, and she’d be anxious until she had arranged for someone else to cover for her. But she wouldn’t feel as if a piece of her life were missing. But then, she was not Rebecca.
“You’re wrong about that,” Rebecca whispered.
“What?” Catherine asked, startled from her internal analysis.
“The job isn’t more important to me than being with you.”
And there it was—what she feared most, even though she was embarrassed to admit it. That she would never be first in anyone’s life. That just as the child she’d been—of two people who loved her, but had loved each other more—she would always be waiting to be seen. Catherine sighed. Rebecca’s words reminded her of why she had fallen in love with her, despite how hard some parts of being with her could be—moments just like this, when Rebecca saw her so clearly, even more clearly than she could see herself, and gave her the very thing she needed most. The certainty that she was loved. She believed in Rebecca’s love even when Rebecca’s life,
Rebecca’s
needs, hurt and frightened her.
“I’m terribly in love with you,” Catherine whispered. “And I need you so much.”
Shifting her hands from Catherine’s shoulders into her hair, Rebecca cradled Catherine’s head tenderly as she kissed her. “I’m an idiot. When I hurt you like this I want to shoot myself.”
Catherine pressed her fingers to Rebecca’s mouth. “Don’t even joke.”
“I’m not joking. You’re the best thing in my life. The best thing that’s ever happened to me, or ever will. I don’t mean to make you unhappy. I don’t mean to frighten you.”
“I know that. In my heart, I know that. And that truly is what’s most important to me.” Catherine wrapped her arms around Rebecca’s waist and kissed the side of her neck. “But you must promise me that you’ll stop and think. And remember that you’re not indestructible.”
“When I went in yesterday, I was only planning to sit at a desk,” Rebecca said. “That’s what I’m still planning on doing.”
Catherine fixed her with an intense stare. “Are you going to tell me the only thing you did yesterday was sit with your feet propped up somewhere?”
Rebecca looked away. “I went for a very short walk with Sandy.”
“Sandy?” Catherine shook her head. “Sandy is a remarkable young woman, but I would rather have William or Sloan or Dellon protecting you.”
“I don’t need them protecting me. I’m their boss.”
“Yes, darling, you are. And when you’re a hundred percent, there’s no one better qualified. But you’re not a hundred percent. Not quite.”
Begrudgingly, Rebecca nodded. “And that’s why I’m going to sit my ass at a desk. All right?”
“Can I ask William to be sure that you do?”
Rebecca’s eyes shifted from their ordinary icy cool to blue flame. “Hell, no.”
Catherine laughed softly. “I had to try.”
“Are you also trying to make my blood pressure go up?” Rebecca teased, tightening her grip and skating her lips along the edge of Catherine’s jaw. “Because if that’s your goal, I can think of more pleasurable ways to achieve it.”
“Don’t play with me, darling,” Catherine whispered. “Because we don’t have time and we have instructions not to make love, remember?”
Rebecca growled. “Like that’s happening.”
“No.” Catherine eased away. “We’re not. Not until Ali says we can.”
“You can’t be serious. I feel fine.” Rebecca had the sudden urge to drag Catherine upstairs and show her just how fine she really felt. She was willing to take a backseat at work for a while, but she’d be damned if she’d keep from touching Catherine. Not when she needed to be sure Catherine understood just how essential she was. Maybe, Rebecca thought, she didn’t always have the right words, and maybe she was selfish most of the time, but when they made love, she came as close as she ever could to showing Catherine how much she loved her. “And I want you.”
“Go talk to William.” Catherine caressed Rebecca’s face. “No coffee.”
“Jesus,” Rebecca muttered under her breath. “No coffee, no work, no sex. I might as well have stayed in the hospital.”
“I’m not going to say I agree, but I do.” Catherine clasped Rebecca’s hand and kissed the back of her fingers. “So stop grumbling. Call me later?”
“I will.”
“Go then, Detective,” Catherine murmured, because she had to let her go. Rebecca was many things, but first and always a cop.
*
Rebecca buckled her seat belt as Watts pulled away from the curb.
After a few seconds of silence, he said, “So I guess you got your balls busted for going back to work, huh?”
Rebecca slowly turned her head. “Sorry?”
“Nothing, Loo,” Watts said, the corner of his mouth twitching. “Didn’t say a thing.”
“That’s what I thought.”
Despite rush-hour traffic, Watts made it across town in record time and pulled into the parking lot at One Police Plaza at a little past 8:30. They walked across the parking lot to a side door, avoiding the main lobby that serviced the administrative offices. A back elevator took them to the third floor. Since the formation of the HPCU, Rebecca reported directly to Captain John Henry, one of the few administrators she liked and respected. A former street cop who had worked his way up through the ranks, he gave her as much room as he could to run her unit the way she wanted. As she and Watts wended their way through a jumble of desks assigned to detectives from homicide, vice, and special crimes, Rebecca nodded and muttered her thanks to the colleagues who congratulated her on the recent successful raid or asked after her health. At that hour of the morning, most of the desks were occupied with men and women reviewing reports, organizing case files for court, and planning the day’s work. She disliked fanfare for just doing her job, and she definitely didn’t want to dwell on almost taking a bullet in the face.
Henry’s door was open a few inches. With a sigh of relief, she rapped and a deep voice inquired, “Yes?”
“Frye and Watts, Captain.”
“Come in and close the door.”
Rebecca and Watts entered and remained standing until Captain Henry waved them to a couple of straight-backed chairs in front of his desk. As usual, he wore a crisp white shirt, subdued tie, and dark jacket, and sat ramrod straight, his smooth mahogany features giving no clue as to his thoughts. Only the sharp glint in his dark chocolate eyes revealed his irritation. That and the early-morning summons confirmed Rebecca’s suspicions that she was about to hear bad news.