Just What I Need (The Bradfords) (8 page)

Ooh, that sounded promising. Jessica started to lift her foot but she suddenly froze. Her stomach seemed to tilt and she had to take a deep breath.

“Jess?”

“Um…give me a second.”

“You okay?”

Yeah, she was okay. She was pregnant, but she was okay. She was also irritated by the term “morning sickness”. With Ava she’d been sick from about three p.m. ’til seven every evening. Looked like the second time around was going to be similar.

She breathed in through her nose, then out, carefully, through her mouth.

“Jess?” Ben took her chin between this thumb and forefinger.

This wasn’t the time to tell him the news. She wanted to make love to him. She was naked, he was halfway there. A few minutes from now would be fine.

She reached for his belt loops, pulling him close but as soon as she arched close, her stomach protested.

She groaned from the sick feeling and from frustration. She took another deep breath, then gave Ben a little smile. “Maybe we shouldn’t do this right now. You know, with the babies upstairs? With Dani and Sam so worried?”

Ben looked into her eyes. “You said
you
needed me. I care about Dani and Sam and the babies, but my main priority is you, Jess.”

She had to swallow against the tightness in her throat before she said, “I do need you.”

“Like this?” He bent and kissed her again, deep and long.

When he lifted his head, she nodded. “Yes.” She definitely wanted him like this. Needed to connect with him. “As close as possible.”

“We’re close even when we’re not together.”

“Yes, we are.” Jessica lifted her legs and wrapped them around Ben’s hips, linking her ankles. “But I like this closeness
a lot
.”

Except when her stomach pitched like that.

She knew she went green when Ben scooped the wastebasket off the floor by the desk and thrust it in front of her in time for her to give into her body’s
other
need.

After it was over, Ben stroked her hair back from her forehead and said, “Something you need to tell me, Jess?”

“Harder and faster?” she tried to joke.

He took the trashcan and set it to the side, then handed her the half full bottle of water on her desk. It was better than nothing.

“You’re pregnant, right?”

“I’m…” She stopped and stared at him. “How did you know that?”

He ran his hands up the outside of her thighs and leaned close. “We’re connected, darlin’. I know you, I can read you. This is my
baby
. Of course I know.”

She licked her lips, her eyes still wide. “Wow. Seriously?”

Ben rolled his eyes. “You’re sick in the middle of the evening and your nipples are more sensitive than usual.”

Jessica set the cup to the side. “Okay, you’re good.”

He chuckled at that. “Your nipples are more sensitive than usual?”

She frowned. “You were…there.”

“You always make those great noises when I’m
there
.”

He had a definite point. She sighed. “So how did you really know?”

“I
saw the test in the bathroom this morning. When were you going to tell me?”

Busted.

She put her hand against his cheek. “Now.”

His eyebrows shot up and he looked down where she was not only naked, but her knees were spread wide as well. “Now? I’m not so sure that would have been your best timing.”

She laughed. “You wouldn’t have been happy to hear that you’re going to be a dad again even if a
gorgeous
woman is naked in front of you?”

He was looking down again. “Sorry, what did you say?”

She swatted his arm. “Ha-ha.” Then she cupped his face in both hands. “Seriously, Ben. What do you think? I know we talked about more kids, but this is fast.”

He grinned and cupped her face the same way. “I’m thrilled. This is amazing. Of course.”

Her heart felt like it was trying to expand out of her chest. “Me too. I’m thrilled too.”

She wiggled closer on the desk. “But that doesn’t mean we can’t go ahead with this plan too, right?”

“The baby doesn’t mean we can’t go ahead,” he agreed.

She started to reach to kiss him, but he leaned back.

“The puking, however, does mean we can’t go ahead.”

She frowned. “You do know that I’m talking about
sex
here right?”

“Well,
I’m
talking about tooth brushes right now,” he said, tweaking the tip of her nose. “Then we can talk about sex.”

Her hand dropped. Yeah, okay. “I have a toothbrush.” Most ER staff had a locker full of things like that to make double shifts more tolerable. “But I can’t really go down the hall to the locker room like this.”

“That’s okay, Josie’s bringing Ava over in about ten minutes anyway.”

“The nanny is on her way over with Ava right now?” Jess clarified.

“Right.”

“You weren’t going to mention that?” Jessica looked around the office. “What did you think we were going to be doing in here?”

Ben bent and handed her the scrub pants and her panties. “Um, not talking or puking.”

Jessica grabbed her bra and slid it on. “You knew about the pregnancy test. You didn’t think we might do a little talking?”

“For a second. Then you took your shirt off and I stopped thinking.” He gave her a grin as he shrugged into his shirt.

His pager went off and he looked at the display. “Ava’s here.” Still buttoning his pants he started for the door. “Meet you in the ER waiting room.”

Jessica felt her heart melt at the love in his eyes for their daughter. “Hey, Torres.”

He paused with his hand on the door. “Yeah?”

“Thanks for knocking me up again.”

He grinned. “Fair warning—I plan to do it again.” He started out the door, then turned back. “That is, as long as you tell me that the twins are on Dani’s side of the family.”

Chapter Five

Mac carefully shifted Sara from one side of his lap to the other, hoping to restore the circulation in his right leg without waking her up.

They were cuddled up in one of the recliners beside Natalie and Ellie’s incubator in the NICU. Sam slept like the dead in the other. It was easy to understand his extreme exhaustion, but Mac knew that if he and Sara weren’t there, Sam would have been trying to keep himself awake. So they weren’t going anywhere.

Sara stirred and turned her head, putting her nose against his neck. Her breath warmed his skin all the way to his toes and he put both hands on her butt, keeping her close against him.

He’d dozed lightly, but his brain wouldn’t quiet enough to let him truly sleep.

Sara was pregnant.

Mac pulled in a long shaky breath.
Thank you, God
.

They’d talked about having a baby back when Ava was born, again when Dani had announced her pregnancy. But they’d never actively prevented pregnancy. And they spent plenty of time doing all the things they needed to do to make a baby.

He’d been so sure that it was his fault. He was twelve years older than Sara. He knew that men could have babies later in life than women in general, but he couldn’t help but wonder if his age was the problem. He also worried that somewhere along the way he’d done something wrong. He’d drank a lot, he’d fought a lot. It wasn’t like he’d never been hit or kicked in the family jewels. And, of course, there was karma. He’d never been an angel.

But now she was pregnant.

She’d wanted it. Even more than she’d let on to him. But he knew her. She lit up with Ava and Elijah. When he’d mentioned the idea of adopting the little boy, she’d burst into happy tears.

His throat tight, Mac slid his hand up to her stomach. If he could, he’d give her sixteen. They could adopt them all—he didn’t care. Whatever Sara wanted, he’d move heaven and earth to provide.

Sliding his hand gently over the soft cotton of the scrub top Sara wore, he marveled that behind the flat stomach, their child was already growing. His hand nearly spanned her entire waist. She was so tiny and he was so big.

Mac frowned. That might be a problem. She was small, but the baby would get DNA from him too. He’d been over ten pounds at birth. What if the baby was too big for her? What if it caused problems? Jessica had struggled with some back pain during her pregnancy and Ava had only been six and a half pounds. If their baby was big, would Sara be miserable throughout the pregnancy? What about labor and delivery?

His stomach tightened. Okay, so maybe getting Sara pregnant wasn’t such a great idea.

His fingers slipped under the hem of the shirt, gliding over her warm silky skin. Crap, there wasn’t anything he could do about it now. Besides worry, of course.

“That’s a pretty intense frown,” Sara whispered.

Mac looked down to find his wife’s big green eyes gazing up at him.

“Sorry. I was thinking.” He kept his voice low too so as not to disturb Sam.

She gave him a small smile. “About our baby, right?”

He took a deep breath, moving her up and down as his chest expanded. “And you.”

“You’re already worrying?” She reached up and ran her index finger over the spot between his eyebrows. “I’m only a few weeks along.”

He tried to relax. “You look amazing.” He slipped his hand further under her shirt, spreading his palm over her stomach.

“I feel amazing,” she said. “I’ve got a ton of energy, I haven’t felt sick at all.”

He slid his hand even higher, brushing the bottom edge of her left breast with the back of his knuckles. “I can’t believe I didn’t notice that your breasts are a little heavier.”

She had pulled her bottom lip between her teeth. “And a little tender.”

“You didn’t tell me,” he said, cupping her breast gently, brushing the pad of his thumb over the tip through the silk of her bra.

“I didn’t need to tell you. When you touch me I feel good.”

He felt the corner of his mouth curl. “Yeah, you sure do feel good when I touch you.”

She shifted so that he could fill his hand with her breast. “It doesn’t bother me since I know what’s causing it.”

“You’re really happy about this aren’t you?”

She nodded. “So happy.”

He brushed over her nipple again. “I’m glad.”

“And you’re not going to worry the whole time?”

“Probably.”

Sara arched closer, putting her lips to his. She kissed him sweetly, then put her hand against his cheek. “I can do this, Mac. I promise I’ll do everything right.”

He stared at her and swallowed hard. “I’m not worried about you, princess. You’re gonna be an amazing mom.” He kissed her fiercely. “Nobody knows better than me how tough you are,” he whispered against her lips.

“Then what?”

“The baby might be big. You’re on your feet all day. Your back might hurt.”

Sara looked into his eyes for a moment, then she shifted, sliding her leg over his thighs and moving to straddle him. He slipped both hands under the back of her shirt, skin to skin. She rested her hands on his shoulders and leaned in until they were almost nose to nose. “Every time my back muscles ache or my feet hurt or I feel exhausted to the bone, I’m going to grin and know that it’s because
our child
is getting bigger and stronger and coming closer to being in this world where I can get my hands on him or her.”

Mac stared at her, his chest tight, his hands itching to glide over her body, to show her how much she moved him, how much he cherished her. He never felt like he had the right words or the right gifts to really show her how he felt about her. But when he had her in their bed, he knew he could make her feel things she’d never felt before, that she’d never feel with anyone else. When he was making love to her, he gave her everything he had. It hadn’t always been that way. He’d held back from her in the beginning. But now he knew that she needed all of him, she needed him to be open and vulnerable and intense and totally in.

“I’ll rub your back and your feet,” he told her. It was completely inadequate, but he would do anything for her.

“I know.”

“You’ll cut back on work, right?”

“If I need to,” she conceded. “But let’s take it day by day.”

“Sara, I really think—”

“Too much, Mac,” she said, putting a finger over his lips. “It’s going to be okay. It’s going to be great. There might come a time when you’ll need to be the one pushing Elijah on the swings at the park, but—”

Mac pulled her hand away from his mouth. “That time’s now, princess. I’ll be doing the heavy lifting and pushing for the next several months, got it?”

Sara frowned. “I don’t want you going crazy here. I’m going to carry and hold Elijah as long as I can. I don’t want him to feel like I don’t want to.”

Mac relaxed, settling back in the chair, his hands cupping her butt again. “Elijah won’t feel like that, Sara.”

“This is going to be a big deal in his life too.”

“Like it is for every big brother everywhere throughout history,” Mac agreed. “It’s going to change some things, but there is no doubt in that little boy’s mind—or anyone else’s—that you love him and would do anything for him.”