Just Surrender... (20 page)

Her mother was pleased about the gala, and Edie had gone shopping. Bought a new dress. A beautiful maroon gown with simple lines. It wouldn’t cover her tattoo, but at least she was coordinated, and for the night of the gala, hopefully everyone would be pleased.

Her father, and especially Tyler.

It was becoming more and more important to her, making Tyler happy.

Tyler’s feet refused.

Smart feet.

Underneath the Lifeline Pharmaceuticals banner, Brooke was there with a man who was apparently her fiancé. He looked nice enough. Quickly, Tyler went back to the table where Edie was waiting for him. No, his feet didn’t have any problem with that decision.

Smart feet.

Edie slipped her arm through his. “You know, if you keep grimacing like that, your face will freeze.”

He worked up to a deathly grin.

She shook her head. “No. Stick to the grimace. It looks more honest.”

At exactly half past nine, Dr. Abe Keating announced to all that this year’s winner of the ACT/Keating Endowment Award was Dr. Max Lockwood.

Politely Tyler clapped.

Edie sat next to him, whispered in his ear, “Just wait ’til the patients start dropping like flies. Then they’ll rethink that stinkin’ award.”

The words were meant to cheer him up, an off-the-cuff joke to make him feel more superior, more capable, because Tyler’s patients never died. Yeah, right.

While Dr. Keating was expounding on this year’s accomplishments, Tyler excused himself and called the hospital.

“Any change?”

“She’s still in ICU.”

“Right,” answered Tyler and went back to the ballroom where Edie was waiting for him, talking to an elegant woman who shared more than a passing resemblance to Edie—if one overlooked the pink streak in Edie’s hair. Not that it mattered.

Tyler, say hello to Edie’s mother. Tell her that you’re delighted to be here. That you love New York. That Edie has been a great help to you.

His feet moved toward the group and he managed a smile.

“Mom. Dr. Tyler Hart. Tyler, Clarice Higgins, holy sainted mother, venerated above all in her eternal patience.”

Mrs. Higgins shushed her daughter, and extended her hand.

“Hello,” mustered Tyler, “You look very lovely tonight,” he said truthfully, and Edie’s mother blushed with pleasure.

“Thank you for that,” she said, while Edie looked on with approval.

“I’ve taught him everything he knows.”

He looked at his sister, and then looked away.

Edie noticed. “You need a drink?”

“No.”

“You’re going to stand here and be a lump.”

“Yes.”

“I need a drink. Let’s get something and go out on the patio.”

In a few seconds, they were outside, the trees covered in glimmering lights, too. The moon shone down and when Edie looked up at him, Tyler caught his breath.

Edie touched his arm, and he stared into warm brown eyes, caring eyes, loving eyes, and he pulled her close. “You look very nice, as well.”

“Nice?”

“Hot?”

“Better.”

“You look lovely. I wish I had the words to tell you, Edie. I wish I was better at talking, at emoting, at expressing, at communicating, but…”

“That’s a good start.”

Tyler kissed her, pressed her back against a tree, his hips grinding against her, wishing they were someplace else. Someplace alone. Someplace far away from the world.

“That’s a better start,” she told him, smiling tenderly.

He pulled back, and stared at her, mesmerized by the careless beauty of her. Sometimes the magic was too perfect, sometimes the world spun his way, sometimes, sometimes… Deciding to risk it all, he unlocked his heart. Just once. Only once. “I love you.”

There was a second when he could almost hear her words. The mind did that some times. Filled in pieces of what it
thought
should have happened, instead of what had really happened. But Edie was always quick on her feet, she pressed her mouth to his, her tongue playing between his lips, seducing him, distracting him.

Almost loving him. But not quite.

Not nearly enough.

He got a shot of whiskey from the bartender and wandered back onto the patio, wanting to see if Edie would follow him. A test.

He heard a sound behind him and turned, smiling, but it wasn’t Edie, it was Brooke.

“Hello,” she said. “It’s a lovely party.”

“Yeah, right.”

“I didn’t want this to be awkward. I was hoping you’d like me but it’s as if I’ve done something wrong and I’m not sure what.”

“Why don’t you go back to Pete, Brooke?”

“I’m sorry,” she said, and then turned to go, but before she could leave, he needed to say one last thing.

“If you don’t love him, why don’t you tell him?”

Slowly she turned. “What?”

“You don’t love him. You’re using him. Tell him. Don’t let him get hurt.”

She stared at Tyler, her eyes wide with shock. “He’s my fiancé. I do love him.”

“Enough?”

“Enough for what?”

“Enough for more than the parties? Enough for the not-so-awesome parts?” Once he started, the words wouldn’t stop, and Brooke was staring at him as if he’d lost his mind.

He had.

He’d lost his mind. He’d lost his heart, and he was taking it out on a stranger.

Finally admitting that this wasn’t a battle she could ever win, his sister fled.

Smart feet.

Must be something in the genes.

Why can’t you be something else? Something other than a doctor. Something not quite so perfect.

She longed to put her head on his chest, curl up close to him, and keep the doubts at bay. Always the doubts. Edie had known the doubts existed, but they’d never been so thunderously loud, so ear-splitting. So terrifying.

They stayed that way until Tyler rose, and began pulling on his clothes.

“I don’t want to do this. If someone is going to leave in this relationship, I’d prefer that I was the one.”

Even as she watched him dress, she tried to tell herself that it was the expected parting from a meaningless affair, but the pit in her stomach said otherwise. Stupid stomach. “Why do you need to leave?”

“I didn’t get the endowment, Edie. The fellowship is over. I’m going back to Houston.”

Unless you stay.

“Why are we here?” he asked.

She knew he was waiting for her. Waiting for her to break down and confess her feelings, waiting for her to promise undying love. Waiting for her to promise to wait for him every night while he basked in glory, and she wallowed in pearls. “We have a connection, a momentary joining of two bodies moving toward some feeling of soulful humanity.”

“No, Edie. That’s crap. It’s there in your face, but you keep spouting the same things over and over again. I’m done.”

“Don’t go,” she told him quietly.

“Why? You’re going to spread your legs, blow me, set up a threesome? Is that what you think is keeping me here?”

There was a time when she would have laughed at that, thrown out some suggestive innuendo, but not now, not here, not with Tyler, of the oh-so-steady-and-lovely eyes. Not while he was leaving her.

“Get out.”

“Happy trails, Edie. Go find yourself some bohemian poet who isn’t a threat to your nice, safe view.”

After he left, Edie lay in bed, telling herself that it was better this way, but the for the first time, Edie recognized her own lies for what they were.

Dr. Tyler Hart.

After the lunch rush was done, she saw a familiar face at table seventeen.

Her father.

He was there in his suit, his tie perfectly knotted, and for once, her father was waiting for
her.

“This is a surprise,” she started, sliding into the seat across from him. “Mom’s birthday coming up? Want to know what to get her?”

Panic flashed in his eyes and she laughed. “Sorry, Dad. Habits. Mom’s birthday is in the fall.”

“I knew that,” he told her, but then his face grew serious. “I was sorry to hear about the endowment, but Lockwood’s a good surgeon.”

“Not as good as Tyler,” Edie answered, needing to defend him.

“No. Not as good as Hart. He’s got a quick mind and a great set of hands, but he’s never going to be a superstar. Do you know why?”

“No.”

“He’s got a weak heart. He cares too much. The fatal flaw.”

“Why is that a flaw?”

“Because he lets his cases get to him. He can’t walk away, and he’s got to be able to walk away.”

Edie studied her father’s face, and realized that there was something more to this story. “What happened on Friday?”

“A patient died.”

“Who?”

“I don’t know.” Her father peered at her closely. “You should ask him.”

“Maybe.” She wasn’t ready to make promises. Not yet.

“‘Maybe’ doesn’t cut it in life, Edie. Sometimes it’s a split second, and you need to decide, and the maybes only end up with somebody dead.”

“And a surgeon would think that way, wouldn’t he?”

“Only way to be,” he stated. “So who is Ira?” he asked, looking at the grizzled old man on the front cover of the menu.

“He’s a cook.”

“And you named the diner after him?”

“I thought it sounded like a diner-owner name.”

“I think Edie sounds like a diner-owner name. I’m very fond of that name.”

“Maybe, Dad. Maybe.”

“No, no maybes, Edie.”

“I’ll do it,” she agreed. Then she leaned over and kissed him on the cheek. “You’re not as bad as I thought. Not as great as everybody else thinks, though.”

He held a finger to his lips. “That’s our secret. Whatever you do, don’t tell your mom.”

The lobby was crowded with people. Nurses, doctors, staff, patients, friends and family members. She pressed the elevator button to go upstairs when she noticed the older man next to her looking at her closely.

“You’re with Dr. Hart?”

For a moment she was confused, but then she recognized the guard from the Empire State Building. The one who had let them upstairs.

“You know Dr. Hart?”

“He was my wife’s doctor,” he told her and then she could see the bobbing lump in his throat. “She passed Friday last.”

Friday last? The night of the gala. All the pieces clicked into place, and Edie felt like a first-class jerk. “I’m very sorry,” she said, reaching out for his hand.

“You’ll tell Dr. Hart thank you,” he said, blinking back the tears. Why did men always need to be so strong? Why did men always need to hide when they hurt?

“I’ll tell him,” she promised, and this time, Edie knew she would.