Just Perfect (31 page)

“Long-range stock planning?” He looked Dr. Ashton straight in the eye. “Yes, I think everyone should have a good breeding schedule for their prize bull.”

The brother choked on his drink, then laughed. “Oh, that’s good. Bull as in bull and bear. I get it.”

Alec remembered vaguely that people used the term bull and bear to describe the stock market, even though he’d been referring to the question as bullshit. Here he was, in the door five seconds, and they were asking him about money?

Dr. Ashton gave him a steely look, letting Alec know he’d understood and was not amused.

Natalie frowned at the men. “Financial talk is so boring. I’d much rather hear about the wedding plans. Christine, have you set a date?”

“The second weekend in April.”

“So soon?” Mrs. Ashton frowned. “That barely gives us seven weeks. Although the country club has a superb staff for handling a reception.”

“Actually…” Christine looked at him. “It’s going to be a double wedding with my friend Maddy. Alec and Joe are handling the plans.”

“How romantic!” Natalie exclaimed.

“You can’t possibly be serious.” Mrs. Ashton gave her daughter a chilly stare.

Christine squirmed. “Well, nothing’s set. Exactly.” She sent Alec a pleading look. “We could think about the country club.”

He stared at her, stunned to see someone as strong willed as Christine cave so instantly. “Is that what you want?”

She dropped her gaze. “I guess we can talk about it later.”

“Of course.” He fixed a smile on his face and kept it there the rest of the evening.

“Do you mind driving?” Christine asked as they left the house. Her head felt ready to explode.

“Not at all,” Alec answered in the same bland voice he’d used for the past three hours.

After digging through her purse, she handed him her keys and prayed he didn’t notice how badly her hands were shaking. Anxiety had burned straight through the Xanax and wine, leaving her entirely too sober. Even so, she had no business getting behind a wheel.

She stared out the window as he drove through Tarrytown, past elegant houses and manicured lawns.

“It wasn’t that bad,” she said as they reached the highway. “Robbie and Natalie liked you. Dad always takes time to warm up to people, so his stiff manner tonight really isn’t a big deal. As for Mom… She may get used to the idea of you planning the wedding. If not, we’ll let her do it. She lives for things like that, and she’s really good at it. Everything will be okay.”

Alec didn’t say anything.

“The wedding itself isn’t that important,” she said as her nerves tangled even more. “What matters is us getting married. So if she wants something fancy and formal, that’ll be okay, right?”

Silence reigned from Alec’s side of the car.

She watched the scenery slip by for a few minutes, then started the litany at the top, repeating it in various versions all the way to the apartment. None of it helped. Nausea churned in her stomach. Her parents couldn’t have made it more clear that they disapproved of Alec. Surely that would change, though. Surely. In time.

When they reached the apartment, Buddy greeted them at the door, then whimpered in confusion when Alec walked past him with barely more than a pat on the head. Shadows filled the room even though she’d left the lamp by the sofa on. Without bothering to turn on any more lights, Alec went to stand at the sliding-glass door, staring out at the Austin skyline. She stayed by the front door, watching as he removed his tie.

Why wouldn’t he say something?

“I’m sorry Mom and Dad weren’t warmer.” She laid her purse on the table by the door. “That’s just how they are, though. It’ll be all right.”

He turned to face her. “Actually, Chris, no it’s not going to be all right.”

“It will.” She sorted blindly through some junk mail, then curled her fingers into her palm when her hands wouldn’t stop shaking. “They just need time to get to know you.”

“No.” His flat tone made her look at him again, but she couldn’t read his face in the darkness. “It’s not going to be all right, because not once on the drive home did you say, ‘Fuck them. I don’t care what they think.’”

She jolted at hearing that word come from Alec. “They’re my parents. Of course I care what they think.”

“A little too much. Have you ever once told them Tuck you. I’m going to do what I want‘?”

“Don’t be absurd. I don’t cuss at my parents.” Nerves turned to anger as she headed for the bedroom, taking off her earrings as she went.

“Of course not.” He followed but stopped in the doorway. “If you cussed in front of them, or heaven forbid, acted like yourself, you wouldn’t be the perfect daughter anymore, and they might never come to love you the way you want them to.”

“I told you why they don’t. It’s not their fault.”

“That’s such bullshit. For one thing, children shouldn’t have to earn their parents’ love. What I saw tonight was the equivalent of your mother saying ‘Sit up straight, eat your vegetables, mind your manners, and we’ll tolerate your presence.’ While your father ignored you to fawn all over your asshole of a brother.”

She whirled to face him. “Robbie is not an asshole!”

“Oh, yeah?” He jerked off his jacket and tossed it onto the chair by the window. “What do you call Robbie’s suggestion that I ‘bop by the club some Saturday for a set of tennis so he can introduce me around’?”

“He was trying to be friendly.” She kicked her shoes toward the closet and unzipped her dress.

“He was rubbing my nose in the fact that I don’t fit into your social circle and I never will.” Alec sat on the bed and removed his shoes. “At least him I can forgive, because I think he was trying to protect you. Your parents, though, Jesus.”

“Don’t you dare insult them.” She stepped into the bathroom, wearing only her panties and bra as she took down her hair.

“Christine—” He came to stand in the doorway, unbuttoning his shirt. “How can you care so much what they think when they don’t care about you at all? They only care about how they’ll look if their daughter marries a hick.”

“You’re not a hick!” Her voice rose in anger on his behalf.

“I am!” he shouted back. “You saw what I come from.”

“I’ve also seen where you’ve gone. What you’ve made of yourself.” Taking up a brush, she jerked it through her hair, fearing any minute all the emotions of the evening would break free in a torrent of tears. “I’m proud of who you are and what you’ve become.”

In the mirror, she saw him come to stand behind her. “That’s not going to matter to them.” Putting his hands on her shoulders, he turned her to face him. “I thought I could live with that, but…”

“But what?” Fear knifed through her. “Are you saying you can’t?”

“No.” He looked straight into her eyes. “I’m saying I’m not sure you can.”

“Alec—” She moved past him, back into the bedroom. “Why are you talking like this? You sound like you think we should break up.”

When he didn’t answer, she turned to face him.

He stood staring at her a long time, his shirt hanging open over his bare chest. “Maybe we should.”

“What?” The floor tilted beneath her feet. “What do you mean? You’re the one who said we were perfect together, and now you’re doing a complete about-face?”

“Until tonight, I didn’t realize what I was asking you to give up. I was too busy concentrating on what I was sacrificing, giving up the mountains and a job that meant everything to me before I met you. Giving up my dog!”

“And now you’re changing your mind?” She pulled her silk nightgown from the closet, but simply held it as her vision blurred. “Oh, that’s great. That’s just great!”

“No.” He came to stand beside her, lowering his voice. “Now I’m asking you the same questions you’ve asked me. If you marry me, Chris, you will lose your father’s approval and you’ll never get it back. How long before you come to resent me for that?”

Her throat grew too tight for her to speak.

He tucked her hair behind her ear, speaking in a soothing voice, as if she were a child. “You know what’s sad is you’re throwing us away for something that shouldn’t have to be earned. Your parents’ love should be given, no strings attached.”

“I’m not throwing us away.” She looked up into his eyes. “You’re the one who’s suddenly having doubts.”

“I’m the one facing reality. As long as you put impressing your father before us, we don’t stand a chance.”

“So you want me to tell him off? Sever all ties with him? Not care what he thinks?”

“Christine, listen to me.” His hands closed about hers. “You’re throwing your life away over something you’ll never get, and you’re asking me to throw my life away too. And for what? A marriage that I’m starting to see doesn’t stand a chance? I can’t fit into your family’s world any more than you’d fit in with mine. But we both fit in fine in Silver Mountain. Let’s go back.”

“I can’t.” She closed her eyes as his words tore at her. “If I break my contract with the hospital, I’ll hurt my career and embarrass my father. I can’t do it! Goddamn it! I can’t!”

“You can! Just as you can accept the truth. Christine—”

She felt his hands cup her face and opened her eyes to find him staring intently at her, as if he could will her to accept his opinion.

“Your father is never going to love you as much as he loves your brother. Never. Nothing you do will change that. You could fly to the moon and back on your own power and your father will still think Robbie hung it. That’s what you’re afraid of. You aren’t afraid of heights. You’re afraid to face the truth.”

The room wheeled about her as she pulled away. “What in the world does my fear of heights have to do with this?”

“You’ve known in the back of your mind for years that you could outski your brother and it wouldn’t make a bit of difference, so you created a convenient excuse not to ski at all.”

“That’s ridiculous.” With her back to him, she removed her bra and jerked on her nightgown. “You’re saying my phobia isn’t real?”

“I watched you have the same panic attack tonight that you had on the slopes the day you realized that what I’m saying is true, because you knew what was going to happen once your parents met me. Just as you know, right now, that we don’t stand a chance if we live here. Give up, Christine, and put us first. Put yourself first.”

“How very convenient for you that me putting myself first saves you from having to give up anything.”

He studied her a long time, as a strange calm seemed to settle over him. When he spoke, it was with quiet conviction. “I love you without limits. Do you honestly think you will ever hear your father say that?”

“He’s proud of me!” she insisted as tears flooded her eyes. “I’ve made him proud of me.”

“That’s not the same thing.”

“Yet you would have me destroy even that?” She swiped angrily at her wet cheeks. “I can’t do that, Alec. I can’t!”

He turned away, as if to study the wall. Finally his shoulders dropped. “Then we don’t stand a chance.”

“No, I guess we don’t!” she fired back, hurting so much she couldn’t think straight. “But then I tried to tell you that all along. This relationship is utterly hopeless and always has been.” She turned her back to him as tears coursed down her cheeks.

“Well,” he said after a very long silence, “I guess there’s nothing else to say.” Another long silence followed. “Do you want me to sleep on the sofa?”

“No,” she managed to choke out. Turning around she flung her arms about him. “I’m sorry, Alec. I’m sorry.”

“Shh.” He hugged her to him, his lips racing over her face. “Don’t cry, baby. Don’t cry.”

Somehow they wound up on the bed, his hands stroking and soothing. She touched him back, desperate and demanding.

“Love me, Alec.” She looked up at him as fear tore at her. “Love me.”

“I do.” His eyes burned into hers. “I will. Always.”

He stripped her bare and put action to words, not merely pleasuring her body, but making her feel wanted inside as well. The latter left her feeling exposed and raw as he brought her body release. When it was over, when they were both spent, he held her as she wept herself into a fitful sleep.