Just One Touch: A Black Alcove Novel (The Black Alcove Series Book 3) (18 page)

I enjoy the moment
where the little boy starts to pester his little sister by pulling on
her pigtails. Would Logan and I have acted that way? I played with
the other kids in each home and I always had fun, but I’ll never
know if it would have been more enjoyable if they’d been my real
family. Heather was as close as I got to that feeling. She was there
when I got my first bra; she taught me how to apply mascara and to
not make it look like a group of pastel colors threw up on my
eyelids. Gosh, Heather was the first person I told about my first
crush. I told her everything during our time together. She kept my
secrets, the only person I ever talked to when thoughts about my
family were on my mind. It’s hard to believe we drifted apart all
these years, but now we live in the same town, and it makes me feel
lighter to have someone from that part of my life around. She’ll
know what I’m going through.

I hear the squeal of
the little girl across the street right before the diner door closes,
taking them away from my view.

I pull out my phone in
an attempt to distract myself from letting my thoughts get too
carried away over being sad for a part of my life I can’t change.
There isn’t any reason for me to dwell on the past. I’m here now,
and I have Logan in my life.

I scroll through
Facebook and Instagram then I take a snap of myself with puckered
lips and crossed eyes and Snapchat it to Conner. He’s always
sending me random photos of himself during the day. I hope receiving
one from me will light up his face with a smile the way mine does.

“Hey, sorry I’m
late.” Heather comes through the door looking flustered as she
tucks her hair behind her ears and takes off her jacket, hanging it
over the back of the chair. “I had to drop my son off with his
father.”

My eyes go wide.

“You have a little
boy?” I ask excitedly as I twist in my seat to face her. She used
to go on and on about how she couldn’t wait to have a family of her
own. Maybe I can have everything I want in my life, too.

“Sure do.” She
smiles proudly. “I’ll tell you all about him after I get some
coffee.”

She heads for the
counter as I turn back to the window. How she’s dealing with being
a parent, when she grew up the same way I did? I mean, not everyone
is going to worry and have the same doubts I do, but I always wonder.

“Okay, so, where
should we start?” She takes the seat next to me.

“We can start with
how crazy it is that we both ended up in Wind Valley.” I laugh.

“Yeah, it’s wild. I
came here for school but ended up pregnant and alone.”

“Alone? What happened
to the father?” I didn’t realize we were going to jump right into
the serious stuff, but, hey, we have a lot to catch up on and we need
to start somewhere.

“He wasn’t in the
right spot in his life to be a father.”

“Oh, that’s
horrible.” I cover her hand with my own. “But you managed, right?
You’re doing okay?”

“Oh, I’m better
than okay. My son is just over four years old and is going through a
frustrating yet adorable independent phase.”

“That’s awesome.
Has his father tried to be a part of his life?”

“He came back into
our lives about two years ago.” But her voice changes and she looks
away. “That’s actually something I want to talk to you about.”

“Okay …” Things
must not be going as smoothly as I hoped for her. Perhaps we were
brought back into each other’s lives at the right moment.

“I’m trying to put
my relationship with his father back together. You understand more
than anyone I know how important family is and how we would do
anything to give our children the home life we never had.”

“Of course.”

“And I want to give
my son that chance. To have the family I never got.”

“But his father
doesn’t feel the same?” I ask the question, but I can already
tell from the sad tone of her voice what the answer is. “Did he at
least tell you why?”

She nods. “He’s
fallen for someone else and she seems to hold more of his attention
than me or our son.”

I can’t help but roll
my eyes. Why a man would choose another woman over his family is
something I will never, ever understand. Makes me sick.

“I wish I knew how to
help you,” I say, leaning back and feeling the sadness radiating
off her body.

“Actually, there is.”

I glance at her, my
brow rising in interest.

“You can stop seeing
Conner.”

I blink, not moving any
other muscle. I stare with the blankest expression I think my face
can make. Everything comes flooding into my mind at once. She wants
me to stop seeing Conner. Conner missed out on the first two years of
his son’s life. Conner is the guy she wants to be with. He’s her
family. Her son’s—their son’s—family.

“What, ah … what
is, ah …”

“Jake is my son,
yes.”

One sentence. That’s
all it takes for my heart to feel as though it’s being sliced and
gripped and shattered all at once. One sentence is all it takes for
me to feel as though I can’t breathe.

“I … I …” I
can’t even form words.

“I’m sorry I just
sprang this on you. But I figure if you knew I was trying to put our
family back together, you would have stopped anything from starting
with Conner. One day he was considering it and the next he changed
his mind.”

I don’t respond to
her. My chair screeches as I scoot it away from the counter and grab
my purse. I leave her there alone in the coffee shop. I can’t do
anything right now. I can’t believe this is happening. I rush down
the street and head for the park, straight for my apartment and
Conner’s. Only one thing is processing in my mind right now: I
cannot and I will never be the reason a child doesn’t get his
family, and right now, that’s exactly who I am.

Conner

Jake sees her first.
We’re outside, enjoying the sunny, warm weather as he draws with
chalk on the sidewalk. Me, I’m drawing too, just not as much. He’s
mid draw when he looks up and jumps, squealing.

“Dad! It’s Alex!
Look!” He points across the street to the park and there she is,
walking straight for us. She’s walking quickly, which makes me
smile. I hate being away from her, too.

“Dad, can she draw
with us, please!”

“Yeah, bud, why don’t
you ask her when she’s here?”

“I will.” He stands
tall and waits for her on the edge of the sidewalk, testing my
patience on how close he can get to the road. I start to put some of
the broken chalk pieces back in the tub they came in when Jake taps
me on the shoulder.

“Dad, Alex is
crying,” he whispers.

My head snaps back in
her direction as I stand. A red and tear-streaked face is watching me
as she crosses the street. She doesn’t smile at me or even get
close enough for me to comfort her. Something isn’t right. I
swallow, ignoring the terrified pit in my stomach that feels as
though I could throw up. Someone hurt her and I want to know who.

“Jake, why don’t
you go inside?”

“But, Dad, I thought
you said I could invite Alex to draw,” he whines next to me.

I kneel back down to
his height and look him in the eye.

“I need to talk to
Alex real fast, okay? We can draw some more when I’m done. Why
don’t you go see if you can find the neon colors your Uncle E
bought for your birthday?” His innocent face lights up and he heads
inside the building. When I see his silhouette cross the window of
our apartment, I return my focus to Alex.

“What happened?” I
ask, taking a slow step forward.

She continues to cry.
Each drop of a tear sends a crack to my heart. When I’m close
enough to reach her, she takes a step back.

“Don’t.” Her
voice is shaky, but the tone is clear. She doesn’t want me to touch
her.

“Alex, what
happened?”

“All this time,”
she says, taking a deep breath to control her tears. “All this time
you told me you hate secrets. You told me that secrets tear people
apart, and you made me feel like I was a horrible person for not
telling Logan sooner who I was.”

“I did, yes, because
it true. Secrets destroy the best things in life.”

Apparently those
weren’t the right words to use. She pins me with a heated glare and
storms past me. I grab her arm, stopping her and forcing her to look
at me. She turns, jerking her arm out of my hold. That wasn’t the
right move to make either.

“I’m sorry, I …”

“Sorry for what,
Conner? For keeping the biggest secret of all from me? One you know
damn well the moment I found out the truth, I’d leave.”

She
knows about Heather.

“How did you find
out?”

“That’s all you
have to say? Of everything, you’re only worried about how I know?”
Her fists curl at her sides as she turns once again to head inside. I
follow her.

“I wanted to tell
you. I wanted to tell you so bad, Alex. I just didn’t know how. You
expressed how you felt about children not getting the family they
deserve, but what good does it do the child if his parents don’t
love each other? That’s not a home life I want Jake to have.
Heather and I can’t make it work. It has nothing do to with anyone
else.”

“You should have been
the one to tell me.” She whips around, surprising me, and I almost
run into her. “You, Conner. Not Heather.”

I blow out a breath.

“How do you know
Heather?”

“Ahhh, really!”

“Okay, yes, it was
wrong. I should have told you right away and I didn’t, but that
doesn’t change anything we have.”

“It changes
everything. We,” she points back and forth between us, “have
nothing. Whatever this was is over.”

“Don’t say that. We
can figure something out.”

“You should at least
try to be with her.”

“I can’t.”

“Why not?”

“Because I’m in
love with you and not her!”

I stand there, chest
heaving as I wait for a response. All I get is more tears before she
looks away.

“I’m sorry, Conner.
I won’t be the reason a family doesn’t get their chance.”

She closes her door. I
step into her doorway, leaning against the frame.

“Alex, please talk to
me. I’m sorry.”

I wait. But she never
answers.

“Dad, is Alex still
sad?” Jake asks, appearing in our doorway with his neon chalk. I
take the chalk from him as we step outside.

“Yeah, bud, she’s
still sad.”

But he’s already too
distracted by his own artwork to reply. I’m good with that because
I’m sad too. Heartbroken. And I hope Jake never has to experience
this feeling in his whole life.

Conner

Eating dinner at
Heather’s place, just me, her, and Jake, isn’t what I had planned
for this random Thursday evening. But it’s been three weeks since
Alex and I last spoke, when she told me it was over, and I couldn’t
stand the thought of her seeing Heather come to my place for dinner.
Heather suggested this so we can talk about the next step with Jake.
Somewhere in the back of my mind, I know she invited me here to talk
about us, and even though my mind is screaming
get
out!,
my heart is telling me that maybe if I give it a
chance, it will somehow bring Alex back to me in a strange, twisted
way. If I become the man she thinks I’m capable of being, maybe
she’ll change her mind.

“Conner, are you
listening to anything I’m saying?”

I hesitate to look at
her. I spot Jake instead, playing on the carpet with his plastic
Ninja Turtles as he pretends to be Splinter.

“Conner?”

“Hmm?” is my only
response. Jake was happy when he was with Alex, too. He likes her.
What we had was good for not only me, but him, too. That has to mean
something.

“Conner, I swear, you
should have a better reaction to this.”

“To what?” I ask,
finally giving in and joining the discussion she is having.

“To Jake going to
school in Wind Valley.” By the tone of her voice, I’d say she’s
annoyed. This, statement, however, brings me a bit of peace.

“That’s great,
Heather. He’s going to love it there.”

“I was also thinking
it might be a good idea for me find an apartment there. Make it
easier on both of us. It would also mean you can see Jake more.”

I nod instead of reply.

“I know that things
are … uneasy right now. I overstepped my place when I spoke with
Alex, but she needed to know.”

I eye her, irritated
that she brought her up.

“Did she tell you how
we met?” Heather knows exactly how to get my attention. Apparently
she wants all of it instead of letting me watch my son play on his
own. Alex used to play with him. She always played Donatello and Jake
loved it.

“No, we never got
that far,” I answer.

“My last foster home
was the same as hers, and we lost touch when I left.”

“And you decided now
was the time to come back into her life.”

“No, I didn’t know
she worked at the gym until I ran into her and then I put a few
things together. She has strong feelings toward family …”

“I know all this. I
know her better than you do. I want to be in her life because I love
her, not because we share a past that you clearly didn’t care
about. If you had, you would have stayed in touch.”

“She wants you to
give Jake a chance …”

“Do not say it. I’ve
heard it a million times, Heather. And I don’t know what I have to
say or do to get it through your head or hers that without love, you
and I will never work.”

“You could love me
though, one day, right?” Her voice is in pieces.

“I’m sorry,
Heather.”

She nods, excusing
herself from the table. I gather Jake’s things and we head home.
I’m the bad guy no matter where I go. Call me a sap or call me
whipped, but I want to end up with the woman I love. I just need to
figure out how to make her see it.