Just One Kiss (9 page)

She smiled. “You couldn't have played on my guilt because I didn't feel guilty. However, I did feel
somewhat responsible.” She cast a quick glance at her son. “I should have kept a better eye on Nathaniel. Usually he's a pretty sedentary child. He usually stays wherever I put him. I don't know what possessed him to wander away that day at the beach.”

Jack looked at Nathaniel, who was seated on the deck floor and seemed perfectly content with the building blocks that surrounded him. “Yeah, he does seem to sit better than most kids his age.”

“In my experience there are two kinds of two-year-olds, the explorers and the thinkers. Nathaniel is a thinker.” She tilted her head to one side, her eyes the soft green of newly budded leaves. “What kind was Bobby?”

For just a second, Jack's defenses kicked in and he wanted to tell her it was none of her business, that it was a taboo topic and he didn't intend to discuss it.

As quickly as it came, the instinct disappeared. For five long years he hadn't talked about Bobby with anyone. Other than on Bobby's birthday and various holidays, Jack had pretended Bobby didn't exist—had never existed—because it made it easier.

Suddenly, for the first time since the day Sherry had taken Bobby away, Jack wanted to talk about the son he'd lost.

“Bobby was an explorer, into everything.” Jack removed the steaks and the hot dog from the grill.
“You couldn't turn your back on him for a minute,” he continued as they settled at the table to eat.

“My sister has a child like that,” Marissa said as she cut Nathaniel's hot dog into bite-size pieces.

Jack eyed her curiously. “How many brothers and sisters do you have?”

“One younger sister.”

“And is she an eternal optimist like you?” he teased.

“She's even worse than me.” Marissa laughed, and again Jack felt a warmth fill his chest and seep toward his extremities. “Sandra married her high school sweetheart and they've built a wonderful life together. They love each other passionately and they're both utterly mad about their two children.”

She had a soft, dreamy look on her face and Jack knew she was imagining her Mr. Right and the life she would build with him.

For a brief moment, envy swept through him as he thought of the man who would eventually possess Marissa's love, the man who would get to spend his life laughing with her, loving her.

“It must be genetic,” he replied, irritated with himself for his crazy thoughts.

She laughed. “I think you possess a few flaws of your own, Jack Coffey.”

He winced. “Please, let's not get into those.”

“You don't talk about my flaws, and I won't talk about yours,” she said.

He grinned. “It's a deal.”

The rest of the meal progressed pleasantly. As the sun slowly sank on the horizon, Jack talked about some of his previous cases, exaggerating humorous elements just to hear the rich music of her laughter.

And he spoke of Bobby. He told her how the little boy had loved the sound of the ocean waves, how he'd liked to have his belly tickled and would dance to any music. It was both pleasure and pain to talk of him, but Jack shoved aside the pain and immersed himself in the joy those memories brought to mind, to heart.

Nathaniel ate his hot dog, then pointed to Jack's plate. “More,” he said.

“Here, Nathaniel, you can have some of mine.” Marissa cut some of her potato off and placed it on her son's plate.

“No.” Nathaniel shook his head and again pointed to Jack's plate. “Daddy more.”

Daddy. As always, the word pierced Jack's heart.

“Nathaniel, what do you want?” Marissa asked. “You want some steak?” She quickly cut tiny pieces and added them to the piece of potato on Nathaniel's plate.

“No,” Nathaniel repeated, this time more forcefully. “No Mommy. Daddy more.”

Jack swallowed a lump of emotion. “I guess he wants some of mine.” He cut off a piece of potato and put it on the boy's plate.

Nathaniel offered him a beatific smile. He reached
over and patted Jack's arm, then grabbed the piece of potato and popped it into his mouth.

Again, emotion clawed at Jack. This little boy was so needy for a father, and that neediness shone from his eyes, was displayed in the touch Nathaniel had given Jack.

In another lifetime, perhaps Jack might have been able to fulfill Nathaniel's need. But not in this one. Not with Jack so filled with memories of another child.

When Sherry had taken Bobby away, she'd also taken Jack's heart, leaving behind nothing worthwhile that might benefit anyone else.

In another lifetime, Jack might have loved Nathaniel, but in this one, Jack had no more love to give.

“I
've been thinking about taking your advice and maybe contacting social services in Miami again,” Jack surprised her by saying as they cleaned up the dinner dishes.

“Really?” Joy swept through Marissa at his words and all they implied. “When?”

“I don't know. Whenever I can get to Miami. I don't want to do it over the phone. It's too easy to ignore a phone call.”

“I'll drive you to Miami. It's only a four-hour drive. We could go tomorrow.”

He frowned. “I can't ask you to do that. This is my business, my life, and I've taken up so much of your vacation time already.”

She put their plates in the dishwasher, then turned
to face him. “I don't mind, Jack. Really. Besides, I'd sort of planned a little side trip to Miami.”

He eyed her dubiously. “Why would anyone plan a side trip to Miami?”

“I was going to take Nathaniel to the Seaquarium.” It was kind of the truth. She'd thought about it, had read a brochure about the tourist attraction, but hadn't decided to actually make the trip.

She could tell he didn't believe her. He shook his head, then his gaze captured hers for a long moment. Gone was the cool cynicism, the hard defensiveness.

“Why are you doing this?” he asked softly. “Why are you wasting so much of your vacation time on me?”

She searched her mind for a flippant response, but none was forthcoming.
Because as crazy as it sounds, in the short time I've known you, I've come to care about you.
The words played in her head, but she knew better than to voice them aloud. “I don't know,” she finally said. She forced a lightness to her voice. “Despite your many character flaws, I've enjoyed spending time with you.”

He broke his gaze with her and grabbed the bowl of leftover salad. “All that proves is that you have some major flaws of your own.” He covered the bowl and placed it in the refrigerator, then looked at her once again. “Sometimes I get cranky on long car trips,” he warned her.

“Then you can ride in the trunk, because I don't put up with cranky passengers.”

He grinned, and in that boyish smile she felt something fragile and wonderful connecting them. It confused her—both thrilled and frightened her.

He felt it, too. She could see it in his eyes, and knew that he was momentarily bathed in the same strange magic as she.

His smile fell away and a deep frown replaced it. “I'll get the stuff I have for you. I'm sure it's getting close to Nate's bedtime and you'll be wanting to get back to your motel.”

“Yes, it is getting late,” she replied. She picked up Nathaniel, who'd been sitting on the floor, and followed Jack into the living room.

“Wait here. I'll be right back.” He disappeared down the hallway.

Marissa sat on the sofa with Nathaniel in her lap. She had never been as confused about a man as she was about Jack. He seemed to invite her closer, only to shove her away.

She cared about him. She was amazed to acknowledge it. How had Jack Coffey become so important to her in the space of so little time?

She realized that with his decision to go back to Miami and resume the search for Bobby, he'd taken a big step. If she held the power, if it was within her means, she would make certain that this search culminated in success and he would get back the son he'd lost.

But she didn't have it in her power, and his suc
cess or failure in this quest had nothing to do with her life.

In less than two weeks she'd be back in Kansas City, immersed in the daily routine of single parenting, struggling to give her son the kind of life she wanted for him.

Jack reentered the living room, gingerly carrying two large boxes.

“What's all that?” she asked.

He put the boxes down. “Take a look.”

She put Nathaniel on the floor and left the sofa as Jack sat in a chair nearby. She opened up the flaps of the top box to display a variety of toys inside. She instantly recognized them. She'd seen them in Bobby's room the day before.

She looked up at Jack. “Are you sure you want to do this?”

He shrugged, his eyes dark and fathomless. “There's really no point in me keeping them around here. Even if Bobby magically appeared tomorrow, he'd be too old for that stuff.”

Nathaniel stood and peered into the box, his face lighting up with delight as he saw a large fire engine. “Twuck!” He clapped his hands together with excitement as Marissa pulled the truck from the box and set it on the floor.

With Nathaniel happily occupied, Marissa moved the top box aside and opened the bottom one. Clothes. All of them still with the tags, all of them good, expensive brands.

“There's a variety of sizes, mostly twos and fours,” Jack said.

“I don't know what to say…. Thank you.”

Again he shrugged. “If I didn't give them to you, I'd probably box them up for charity. It was time to clean out some of that stuff.”

Although his voice was light, Marissa knew the emotion that had to be ripping through him, the enormous grief that must have suffused him as he'd packed the items.

For just a moment, his grief became hers as empathetic pain washed over her. She picked up a tiny pair of jeans and ran her hand across the fabric, waiting for her emotion to become manageable.

“Maybe in Miami you'll find some answers, be able to find Bobby at last,” she finally said softly.

His blue eyes grew cold. “I'm not holding my breath. I just figured I needed to make one last attempt before I finally put it all behind me.”

He got up from the chair. “Unlike you, I stopped looking for happy endings a long time ago.”

She knew instinctively now was not the time for any cheerleading protests to the contrary. “I know sometimes there are no happy endings, Jack. I know life is not always fair and sometimes the bad guys win.” She closed the box flaps and stood.

He eyed her dubiously. “You had a bad relationship with a man who let you down when you got pregnant. What do you know about real heartache?”

Without warning, anger swept through Marissa.
“Honestly, Jack, do you really think you've cornered the market on heartache? When I was ten years old my mother died. My father was already divorced from her and a sporadic presence in our lives at best.”

“You never told me that,” he protested.

“Why would I? There are a lot of things you don't know about me.” She raked a hand through her hair, the momentary burst of anger slowly seeping away.

“I learned very young that you have two choices in life. You either choose to be happy or you choose to be miserable. You either fight or you give up. You have to decide what kind of man you are—a survivor or a victim of life.”

“You finished?” he asked, the corners of his lips curving up into a half smile.

She flushed. “I'm not sure.” She offered him a small smile. “I guess for now I'm finished.”

“Good. You want a cup of coffee? We could sit on the deck and enjoy a cup.”

She hesitated. She would love to sit and drink coffee with him, watch the moonlight dance over the water and just spend more time with him. But the allure of the scene was almost too great…dangerously great.

“I'd better go ahead and get back to the motel,” she said. “It's already almost nine, past Nathaniel's bedtime. Besides, if we're going to go to Miami tomorrow, shouldn't we get an early start?”

“Yeah, you're right,” he agreed, his gaze once again inscrutable.

She looked at the boxes, then at Nathaniel who was still pushing the fire truck around the floor and making throaty noises to mimic a vehicle.

“Would you watch him while I run these boxes down to the car?”

“Yeah. Sorry I can't help.”

She smiled. “That's okay. I can handle it.” She picked up the first box and went out the front door. As she loaded the boxes, she tried not to think about how much she'd like to stay.

Somehow in the past twenty-four hours, her relationship with Jack had deepened, transformed from a light acquaintance to something far more meaningful.

If she were very smart, she'd run for the hills. She'd take back her offer to drive him to Miami the next day and stop seeing him altogether.

As she loaded the second box into the trunk of her car, she wondered why on earth she didn't intend to be smart.

 

“Mr. Coffey, do you remember the person you spoke with when you came in here before?” Barbara Klein offered Jack a hopeful smile. “It isn't necessary that I know, but it's possible I might be able to pull up some previous paperwork.”

Jack frowned, trying to remember that time so long ago when he'd come here to the Miami Social
Services seeking information about his son. “Green. Her last name was Green, but I don't remember her first name.”

“Elizabeth,” Barbara said, supplying the missing name with a frown. “She was only with us for a short time.” She pursed her lips, her frown deepening. “She had a bit of a drinking problem.”

Jack laughed, the laughter tinged with a touch of bitter irony. “I guess that's why she didn't do much follow-up.” Shock riveted through him as Marissa reached over and took his hand in hers.

It didn't shock him so much that she'd made the gesture. What surprised him was how welcome it felt. The warmth, the strength, the support her hand offered him sent heat straight up his arm to lodge in his heart.

The phone on the desk rang and Barbara answered. When she hung up, she smiled at them apologetically. “Something needs my attention. If you'll excuse me for a moment, I promise to be right back.” She rose and left the office, softly closing the door behind her.

Jack gently pulled his hand from Marissa's and stood. “Just my luck to try to work with a woman who has a drinking problem,” he said, and shook his head.

“Barbara Klein doesn't seem to have the same problem, so maybe finally you'll get some answers.”

Irritation swept through Jack, an irritation he had
spent all morning trying to keep to himself. He knew exactly what was causing his irritation. Sexual frustration.

He'd spent the morning cooped up in a car with Marissa, where her scent had filled the air and her nearness had teasingly taunted him.

When he'd asked her if she wanted to share coffee with him the night before, what he'd really wanted was for her to stay the night and share coffee the next morning.

He'd wanted her to sleep in his bed, in his arms after they'd made wild, passionate love. He'd wanted to watch the morning sun spill across her face as he awakened her with hot, sweet caresses.

He flung himself back in his chair as Barbara reentered the small office.

“Now, let's get some information from you,” she said to Jack. “And we'll see what I can find out.”

For the next hour Jack told Barbara Klein pertinent information about his relationship with Sherry and his desire to have Bobby back in his life.

“Okay, that should do it,” Barbara said. She looked at Jack for a long moment. “I realize you've waited a long time, and it was unfortunate that Elizabeth Green was your previous contact, but you understand it will take several weeks before I can tell you anything specific.” She stood. “We don't just give information about our children to anyone who walks through the door.”

Jack and Marissa stood as well, Nathaniel's legs
wrapped around Marissa's waist like a young cub. “Then I can expect to hear from you in the next couple of weeks?”

Barbara offered him a warm smile. “I promise.”

As they left the office and walked back outside into the midafternoon Miami sun, Jack felt curiously let down. He'd known not to expect anything from this meeting, but the energy and hope he'd carried in with him were now gone.

“You okay?” Marissa asked as they got back into her car.

“Sure. Let's just hope Barbara Klein doesn't develop a drinking habit between now and the next couple of weeks.”

“I don't think you need to worry about that. She seemed very professional. Maybe we should just head back to Mason Bridge,” Marissa said, still looking at him. “I mean, I'm sure this has been difficult for you.”

“Nonsense.” He waved a hand in irritation. “We'll go to the Seaquarium as planned. Nate wants to see the fish.”

He wished she'd stop looking at him like that…as if she cared, as if she worried about him. When she looked at him with those big, soft green eyes, all he could think about was taking her in his arms and kissing her until her eyes deepened, then closed with desire.

“Okay, then, the Seaquarium it is.” She put the car in gear and pulled out of their parking space.

They found the tourist spot without too much trouble and spent the next two hours watching dolphins and whales perform, learning about various species of fish and eating junk food at one of the concessions.

It was just after five when they started back for Mason Bridge. For the first hour they rode in relative silence, the quiet broken occasionally by Nathaniel, who pointed out the window and went through his repertoire of words.

Once again Jack found himself fighting his desire for Marissa. He'd watched her covetously at the Seaquarium. Her laughter stirred him, her smile shot heat through him and her natural energy and enthusiasm fed him.

He stared at the window, wondering if it were possible fate had thrown Marissa Criswell into his path just to make him crazy.

“So, tell me what I don't know about you,” he asked suddenly. Maybe if they talked, he could get his mind off how much he wanted to make love to her.

“Pardon me?”

“Last night you said there were things about you that you hadn't told me. So tell me now.” He shifted positions in the passenger seat and tried not to notice how the evening sun lit her features with a golden glow.

She cast him a quick glance, then laughed.
“That's a pretty tall order. What exactly do you want to know?”