Just My Luck (A Shamrock Falls Novel) (Entangled: Bliss) (14 page)

He was still watching her when she turned, looking over at him with those big, brown eyes of hers. And smiled.

“I recognize that look, man.” Breck stepped up beside him. He hadn’t even heard the other man approach.

“What look is that?”

“The one that says you’re getting scared…that you’re overthinking and about to pull a bonehead move and screw things up.”

Jace shook his head. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Like hell you don’t.” Breck crossed his arms. “I let my head get in the way with Houdini and I ran. Your feet are looking awfully itchy. You love her, man. I’ll admit I was skeptical at first, but I see that now.”

The word
love
sent a confusing jolt through Jace—half excitement half fear. The fear won out. He and Betsy weren’t Breck and Rowan. They seemed to take one step forward and two back. As much as it hurt, Jace needed to remember that.

Teasingly, Jace smacked Breck on the back. “Your observation skills are hurtin’. That’s not going to do you any good at the card table. I’m not over thinking anything and nothing is wrong. Things with Betsy and me are as good as they always have been.”

What he didn’t say was he wanted more, though he wasn’t sure he and Betsy would ever have it.

…

Something wasn’t right. Betsy could feel a difference in Jace all day. It was as if someone flipped a switch inside him, turning off that part of Jace who wanted to be close to her. That held her and kissed her, even if he didn’t want any more from her.

Not that she was surprised.

Not that she didn’t miss it.

“I thought maybe I would make dinner,” Betsy told him when they got home. They’d spoken about it before, but she’d never cooked anything for him. More often than not they weren’t home, grabbed take-out, or just didn’t make it back from the office in time for her to make him a good meal.

This urgent desire to share a meal she made for him tugged at her. Tonight.

Jace hung his jacket on the stand by the door before turning to help her with hers. She loved those little things he did. Despite his reputation, he was such a gentleman.

“You had a busy day. You don’t have to make dinner. I can order out or scrounge around for something.”

Betsy’s eyes followed him as he walked across the living room. He undid the top button on his shirt, and shivers raced up and down her body. Jace was the most beautiful man she’d ever seen. So sophisticated, but raw and sexual at the same time.

“I want to,” she told him. “I told you I would do it sometime…”

Jace shrugged. “Sure. I didn’t eat much at the shower. Do you need me to go to the store to pick anything up?” His voice was soft…almost sad. Did he feel the heaviness around them, too? This feeling of something major lingering just around the corner?

“No. I grabbed a few things the other day. I thought I’d make spaghetti and meatballs. Does that sound good to you?”

Tension wrapped around her, different from how it’d felt the past few weeks. They weren’t comfortable and she hated it. Wished she had a way to make it all go away. Or that she wasn’t too nervous to try.

“First pizza and now spaghetti. What’s with all the Italian food?” Jace gave her a half grin, which made her smile brightly at him.

“My mom loved it.” Betsy offered the words as a kind of peace offering. Logic told her there was no reason to keep her mom from him. This was Jace. He might try to fix it, but he wouldn’t pity her, would he?

“Mine did, too.”

For some reason, that brought her comfort. Knowing their moms had that in common. Maybe it was some kind of sign. She wondered if he’d ask questions, but he didn’t.

Jace followed her to the kitchen and sat down at the island while Betsy washed her hands, then she took out the ingredients and put them together. She felt his eyes on her as she moved around the kitchen. She wished he would talk, ask her something or somehow give her a clue what he was thinking. Jace was hard to figure out on a good day, but this quiet, reserved Jace made it even harder.

“Do you like to cook?” he asked as though he could read her mind. She wished he could.

“Sure. I’m not as good as Rowan or anything, but I’m used to doing it.”

“Hmm.” He studied her hard, the way he did when he was trying to figure something out. Betsy felt her cheeks warm, but tried not to turn away from him.

Jace looked away before her.

They were fairly quiet as she finished the meal. Betsy had to put the meatballs in a skillet before adding them to the sauce, since they didn’t have time for it to cook for hours. Once in a while, Jace would ask her a question or make some comment, but the comfortable conversations she’d gotten so used to with him just weren’t there.

Ridiculously, she missed him. Missed the man who was only a few feet away from her because she’d enjoyed their time together so much. Because she’d let him mean even more to her than he had before.

Because she wanted him to feel the same about her.

“It’s almost ready,” she told him about forty-five minutes later.

“It smells delicious.” Jace slipped his cell into his pocket, and then washed his hands. Betsy reached for plates, but he stopped her. “You cooked. I can do this part.”

He moved around almost like a panther, smooth as he got their plates and walked over to fill them.

“Umm…thanks.” Her stupid cheeks were hot. She knew she had to be blushing, but all she could do was remember how it felt for Jace to kiss her all over. Really kiss her like he wanted to memorize everything about her. She wanted him to do it again. She wanted more from him.

“You’re blushing,” Jace pointed out. “You’ve been doing that less often.” He stared at her and Betsy put her fingers on her cheeks. She wished he would touch her the way she wanted. She yearned to feel his hands on her and his lips on her.
Please don’t pull away from me…

Jace cleared his throat. “Sit down. I’ll bring you your food.”

Definitely not what she wanted to hear. She hoped his mentioning her blush would lead him into wanting to kiss her again. “Sure. Thanks.”

Jace was right behind her, setting her plate in front of her as she sat down. In one quick movement he was on the other side of the small table. The kitchen was huge, with a large dining room attached. Other than on the night of their wedding, when they had people over, they always ate at the small table. Betsy liked that.

“Rowan and Breck are still having a hard time coming up with a name for the baby.” Betsy hoped he would latch onto her attempt to start a conversation and keep it going.

“They have time,” was his reply.

“True…”
What’s wrong? Why have you been distant all afternoon? How do we fix it?

“This is great, Betsy.” Jace took another bite. She thanked him and that was the end of their dinner conversation. All Betsy could think about was the fact that he’d changed his mind about dating her. That he was trying to let her down softly.

She was stupid to get her feelings hurt, but she couldn’t stop the pain spreading through her chest. Betsy stood, washed her plate, and put it in the dishwasher. Her eyes burned, tears begging to come. When she turned around, she jumped and her hand flew to her chest. “You scared me. I didn’t hear you get up.”

Jace was standing right in front of her. So close she felt his breath. She studied his clean-shaven face and remembered how it felt when it nuzzled her.

He reached around her and set the plate on the counter, boxing her in. “Thank you for a wonderful meal, B.”

The name made her heart speed up.

He stood there, indecision playing across his face. Her breath hitched and a million questions rolled through her mind. She wanted to kiss him. Wanted him to take back his rejection from earlier in the day. To ask him what was wrong…but none of it came out.

Jace shook his head. His eyes closed and when he opened them again, they looked more confident…but more distant, too.

“Jace, I…” She had no idea what she planned to say, but he didn’t give her time anyway. Jace leaned forward and pressed his lips to her forehead. He paused, holding them there for a few seconds and she knew exactly what this was.

Good-bye.

“Good night, honey. I’ll see you in the morning.”

For the first time in nights, he hadn’t asked her to sleep with him. Betsy ignored the pain in her chest, the tears that wanted so badly to break free, the ache threatening to take her over. She turned out the light and went up to her bedroom, knowing the next couple months would be the longest of her life.

It was one thing to always wonder what it would be like to have something. Then, it had been just a dream…a wish. But losing it? Knowing how it felt? The way he filled her up and made her laugh and feel complete only to have it taken away—that was much, much worse.

Chapter Thirteen

It is the right thing to do
. Jace kept telling himself those same seven words over and over. He’d said them last night when he wanted to kiss her. Repeated them in his head when she looked sad. Engraved them onto his brain when he’d wanted nothing more than to take her to his bed and savor every inch of her.

To run his hands and mouth along her smooth skin. To watch her cheeks flush and taste her and feel every part of her. Those very thoughts cemented the fact that it was a bad idea, because somewhere along the way, he’d misjudged her. Jace had let her in to parts of him that he’d never let anyone else see. Actually wanted more with her than he ever thought he could want.

But she wouldn’t let him in. Jace had spent a lifetime dreaming of something he couldn’t have—love, close family—and he wouldn’t do that again. It hurt too badly when you lost it. First his parents, then the idea of his grandfather caring for him. Wanting to be close was safer than risking it.

So, yes. He’d definitely done the right thing by pulling away from her last night, even if it had almost killed him.

Jace let his head rest against the seat of his car as he drove. He’d only had a half day in court this morning, but it was a killer. His sweet tooth was driving him batty and briefly he wondered if Betsy had any doughnuts at the office before pushing those thoughts aside. He needed to stop depending on her so much. She worked for him. They were engaged in a business venture together. In a couple months, they’d only have those days at work and the times they hung out with their friends. It would be the way it had been before. That was what he needed to focus on, rather than how things had been when he could really call her his.

They’d have to tell people they were separated. The thought of her moving out of the house left an ache in his gut, but it needed to be done.

Jace would make sure the demise of their marriage looked like his fault and not hers. He didn’t want this to scar her in any way.

As he took the winding road that led back into town, Jace glanced off to the left. Through the trees, the new mental health facility they’d built caught his eye. He’d always thought it was a strange place for one, but he guessed being in the middle of Washington scenery was as good a place as any.

Jace’s eyes moved back toward the road and that’s when he saw it. Betsy’s black car, with the distinct little dent in the side panel, off in the corner of the parking lot. He did a double take.

“What the hell?” he mumbled, slowing down so he could get a closer look as he drove by. Jace glanced at the clock. It was their lunch hour, which meant the office was closed. What would she be doing here?

Not my business. Not my business.

Jace continued to drive by. He made a right turn up the street and pulled over in front of the Shamrock Falls market, then ambled inside.

This was part of her secret. Whatever it was that she wouldn’t tell him, this was it. Where she went when she disappeared. The whole time he walked around the small store, picking up the sweets he wanted, Jace thought about it. Walking around the corner, he ran into someone. “Oh. Sorry, Amanda.”

Amanda was a couple years younger than him. She was a local; they’d been classmates up until high school. She’d had a thing for him the whole time.

“Hey, Jace! How are you?” She gave him a big grin. She was a pretty woman, curvy and liked to reveal a decent amount of skin. She knew how attractive she was too. Not the way Betsy was. So quiet in her beauty.

Christ, why did everything keep leading back to her?

“I’m okay. Just had to make a quick stop before I head back to work. How are you?” Jace realized they were standing close and took a step back.

“I’m doing well. It’s good to see you. Seems like you’ve been locked away the past couple months.” Another smile.

“I’ve been around. My wife is keeping me busy.”

Amanda shook her head. “Jace Macnamara, married. Who would have thought? And to Betsy Harris of all people.”

Jace frowned, annoyed that this was the second comment he’d gotten like that. “What do you mean?” Real marriage or not, he wouldn’t stand here and let anyone put Betsy down. “I’m lucky she’d have me.”

“No, no,” Amanda tried to backpedal. “That’s not what I meant. It’s just… You have to admit, I don’t think anyone saw that coming. I never thought I’d see you settle down. Especially with someone as sweet as Betsy.”

Way to make a guy feel terrible. He couldn’t be with someone sweet?

“I see her driving out here a lot. Does she have family in this area?” Amanda asked.

Her words made all sorts of questions rapid fire at him.
Did
she have family around? Why was she out here often? As her husband, he should know. He needed to know.

Jace didn’t wait for her to say good-bye. He put the stuff away and went straight for the door. Instead of heading toward the office, he went back the way he came. Some of the tension in Jace’s muscles melted from him when he saw that Betsy’s car was still there. He wanted answers. To find out if she needed his help in any way. Whatever it was, he’d do what he could.

Jace parked next to her car and got out. There was a long fence off to the side and he could see gardens and tables in the back. Jace walked over, to see if the gate was unlocked and if the entrance was there. His chest felt tight the whole time. He wasn’t her real husband. He had no right to push her like this—to push himself into this part of her life if she didn’t feel enough for him to want him there, but Jace couldn’t make himself stop regardless.

He reminded himself that all he wanted to do was help. There wasn’t anything wrong with that.

When he got to the fence, he saw her immediately. Betsy was in her jacket and walking with an older woman wearing a knit hat. Betsy held onto her arm as they strolled down one of the walkways. They weren’t too far away, maybe a hundred feet. It looked like Betsy was talking to who he assumed was her mom.

Why would she keep from him the fact that her mom was in a home? It didn’t add up.
Maybe she just didn’t want me that entwined in her life…

Just as Jace was about to turn and walk away, Betsy caught sight of him. Even from the short distance, he saw the horror on her face. The other woman looked at him at the same time. Cocked her head.

Shit. Jace felt like a jerk standing there looking as though he was spying on them, though he guessed he really was. Guilt burned through him like a wildfire. Not knowing what else to do, Jace waved at them.

Betsy still didn’t move. Hadn’t the whole time.

“Who are you? Why are you waving at my daughter?” The woman tried to walk toward him, but Betsy held her back.

“It’s okay, Mom. Let’s just go inside.”

“No. Who is that man? Help! Someone help us!” she screamed.

Jace’s heart sank to his gut. Something was wrong here. Very wrong. He shouldn’t have come. He took a step backward, not sure if he should go or try to explain himself.

Betsy’s mom continued to scream. Betsy still fought to pull her back as she tried to make her way toward Jace. Two women rushed out of the building and toward Betsy and her mom.

“He’s watching us! He’s after my daughter!” she yelled, pointing Jace’s way.

The employees looked at him, and Jace held up his hands. “I didn’t mean any harm. I just wanted to speak to my wife.” Jace’s gut clenched. The second the word
wife
came out of his mouth, he knew it had been the wrong thing to say.

It all happened so fast from there. Betsy stumbled, her mom broke free, and she ran at the fence. The other two women went after her, one of them calling on a walkie-talkie for help at the same time.

Regret shot through Jace. Pain for whatever caused that reaction. For causing Betsy and her mom hurt. For all of it.

One of the women caught up with Betsy’s mom, who was screaming and flailing. “You’ll hurt her. You’ll use her!” All his instincts pulled at him to try and help. To make it better, but he wasn’t sure how. More people came out, tried to calm Betsy’s mom. Betsy was there too, fighting to weave her way through the people and reach her.

Jace had never felt more helpless in his life, the fence keeping him away from Betsy when she needed him, but he knew his presence was a hindrance, causing a scene for reasons he couldn’t understand, so he backed away.

Betsy was crying. Two nurses were trying to hold her mom back as she struggled to get at Jace. Another nurse injected her with something. The seconds seemed to tick by in slow motion before she went limp in their arms.

Jace watched as they carried her inside. As Betsy turned her back to him. Watched as they all walked away. He couldn’t move, couldn’t think. He kept seeing the sadness on Betsy face. The fear in her mom’s eyes.

What had he done?

…

Betsy sat in the chair wringing her hands. She’d pulled the bobby pins out and let her hair fall free, hoping it would hide her away. That somehow it would make her disappear so she wouldn’t have to deal with any of this.

No such luck.

She’d been sitting there for more than an hour. Her mom wasn’t awake. Betsy had already spoken to the doctor and nurse, but she couldn’t make herself go outside where she knew Jace would be waiting.

She didn’t have it in her to face him. She didn’t want to face any of it. Oh, God. What would she tell her mom? How would she make this okay? What if this somehow set her mom back? Made the paranoia worse?

What had she done?

Betsy forced herself to push to her feet. The longer she sat there the more she’d drive herself crazy. She needed to deal with Jace and then figure out what she was going to do with her mom. With her life.

The first thing she thought of when she got to the parking lot and saw him standing by her car was work. Ridiculous, but true. Work. Neither of them had gone back. A client could have needed them.

She was messing up all over the place.

Betsy slowly walked toward Jace. Eyes on the ground. Humiliation cloaked her and then guilt for the embarrassment.

She shouldn’t be embarrassed of her own mother.

“B…honey. I’m so sorry.” Jace tried to pull her into his arms the second she reached him, but Betsy shook her head. Stepped back. She wouldn’t allow him to do this—she couldn’t. If he held her now, she wouldn’t want him to let go, and wishes like that wouldn’t do either of them any good.

They were both silent. It weighed heavily on her. Like a hammer trying to hit her into the ground.

Betsy fought to keep the emotion out of her voice. “She was raped when she was young. It’s how…it’s how she had me. She didn’t really have any family, so I’m not sure how things were for her before…but afterward, it affected her. She has paranoia. There were good times and bad times while I was growing up. The past few years…things have gotten harder for her.”

There was more silence after that. Finally, Jace spoke. “Why didn’t you tell me?” His voice was soft, almost broken. It threatened to shatter her. “I could have helped. I
would
have. You know that.”

Jace reached for her again. Betsy didn’t know where it came from, but anger pushed its way through her pain and humiliation. He’d been the one pulling away. Keeping his distance. She didn’t want things to change now just because he knew about her mom. She’d been pitied enough in her life. She could handle it from other people, but not Jace. Not when he meant more to her than anyone else.

“Because you didn’t need to know. I mean, it’s not your problem to deal with. She’s mine. You signed up for a wife to get your house, not to have to deal with her paranoid mom.” The words were like acid on her tongue. She didn’t want them to be true, even though they were.

Jace jerked his hand back. “I thought,” he started, but Betsy shook her head and he stopped. She couldn’t do this. Couldn’t handle the back and forth. The marriage was hard enough on her because of how she felt about him, but then after their date…and the nights they’d spent together…only to have him pull away was breaking her heart. Betsy felt like she was spinning and spinning on a merry-go-round, begging to get off, but it just wouldn’t stop.

She wasn’t cut out for this.

“I can’t do this.” She shook her head. “I just can’t. Not with my mom and everything.”
Not with how badly I want to be in your arms without the fear of you changing your mind.
“We’ll keep up pretenses in public so you can get your house, but that’s all you owe me. It’ll be the original arrangement and then I’ll go home and we’ll get back to the way things were.”

Betsy fought her tears. God, she wanted to let loose so badly. To be able to handle the casual thing so she could have any part of Jace he would offer, but she just couldn’t.

Not when she didn’t know how things would go with her mom either. Dealing with both would be too much.

When Jace didn’t reply, Betsy made herself meet his eye. He looked at her…almost broken hearted. It shattered another part of her resilience, to have Jace look at her like this.

“No. I think it’s better if we just end things now.”

“But…what about your house?” Oh God. She didn’t want to leave earlier. He wanted her to leave now?

“That’s not your problem to deal with.” Ouch. That hurt. He’d used the same words she used with him just a few minutes earlier. “It’s too much. You shouldn’t have to put up with this any longer,” he told her. “I’ll see you back at the house.”

Before she could say anything else, Jace was in his car and driving away.

An hour later, Betsy was looking around her room in Jace’s house, all her belongings packed away. Her whole body ached as though she had the worst case of the flu. She knew she wasn’t really sick, though. Her heart was.

Her eyes began to flood with tears, but Betsy wiped them away. It was always going to come down to this. She knew that, so why did it hurt so much?

She startled at the sound of Jace clearing his throat from the doorway. A little voice whispered in her head not to turn around. Maybe if she didn’t, none of this would be happening. Plus, seeing him would make it even harder to say good-bye.