Just Me (21 page)

“
Sounds like a plan,” I could sit but there was a part of me that wondered if he offered the quiet room so he could feel me out to see if he had a chance with Poppy. Not that I would discuss Poppy with him without talking to her first, but my heart went out to him. I tried to catch her eye to let her know what I was up to, but her focus was completely on Caden. I felt a bit bad for Brad because despite what was happening across the room, there was no denying the sparks between Poppy and Caden. I suspected Brad had already lost his chance.

Brad had been right, the room wasn't just quiet, it was completely empty. Oh, heavenly sofa. A moment after I settled on it, Brad joined me. He rested his head back and said on a sigh, “This is so much better. I was starting to get a headache.”

“
It is loud out there,” I said almost absently.

We sat in comfortable silence for a few minutes before Brad turned more fully to me and asked,
“
What's going on with you and Bastian?
”

I wasn't expecting that and I couldn't deny the flash of apprehension that lit through me at the question. Trying to be as vague as possible, I said,
“
It's a long story, but we're still together.
”

“
At the pep rally you had just started dating, right?
”

“
Pretty much.
”

“
And you're still together. That's cool, I've never had much luck with girls or dating anyway.”

“
Really?”
Brad was not only cute, but he seemed like a really easy-going guy.
“
Maybe you just haven’t found the right one.
”

“
Maybe.”
He bounced his head lightly on the padded seat back, as if in thought. “You
love him?
”

Discomfort moved through me talking about this with Brad, so I sought to change the subject.

“
What are you doing next year?”
I asked.

“
Subject change. Too personal, I get it.”
His stare unnerved me. It was the first time that I didn't feel completely at ease in his presence.
“
Is it true that he left school and is up north working?
”

Persistence was not always a favorable trait.
“
It's not that simple, but yeah.
”

He rubbed the back of his neck. “Man, that has got to be hard on both of you.
”

“
You have no idea.” My exhale felt more like a sigh.

“
Bastian must be one tough guy.
”

His comment struck a nerve with me, and caused a warning to prickle my spine.
“
What do you mean by that?
”

“
To voluntarily stay away from you. I wouldn't have the willpower to do that.”
He
added.

It wasn't so much what he said, but how he said it that made me even more uneasy. Brad was my friend, he was Bastian's friend, but there was something about him tonight that felt off. My gut was telling me to seek out Poppy and Caden.

“
I think I'm going to call it a night. I'll see you at school.”
I started to rise and noticed for the first time that the door was closed. Brad grabbed my arm and pulled me back down onto the sofa.

“
Where are you going? Stop playing coy, Lark.
”

Okay, it was no longer a prickling sensation, but alarm bells going off in my head.
“
Brad, I'm really tired. Please let go of my arm.
”

“
This is fated, you and me. Did you know that?
”

“
What?
”

He moved so quickly, pressing me into the sofa as his overly aroused body covered mine.

“
Get off me!”
I shouted as I pushed at him. At first I thought he was teasing—completely inappropriately—but teasing all the same.

“
You're so hot. Just looking at you gets me hard. I can't tell you how many times I've jacked off thinking about getting in between your legs.
”

What was happening? My brain refused to process the horror of what Brad was doing because I couldn't believe he was actually doing it.

He ground his hips painfully against my stomach.
“
Like the skirt, easy access,” he purred, causing bile to rise up my throat. This could not be happening.
“
It's cool, Lark. You've already spread them for Bastian, so there's no harm. He never even has to know.
”

Who was this monster disguised as a friend? Fear turned me into a crazy person as I struggled to push him off, but he was too strong. Then his mouth came down painfully on mine. He gripped my one arm and pulled so hard that he almost dislocated it. My cry of pain muffled by his punishing mouth.
“
Stop fighting it,” he hissed.

Fear and confusion welled in me. I didn't understand the violence and anger that pulsed off him. And I couldn't make him stop, no matter how hard I tried. I attempted to appeal to the affable guy I thought I knew.
“
Please let me go, Brad. I don't want this and you're hurting me.
”

He actually laughed.
“
No way. I finally have you right where I want you. You're going to love every second of this.”

He forced his leg between my thighs and pulled down his zipper. My scream was cut short by the pressure of his mouth. He bit my lips to demand silence. Bucking my hips, I hoped to throw him off balance, but that only made him laugh as he rubbed himself against me. I went completely still, closed my eyes and felt myself going to another place, so I wouldn't have to endure what was about to happen to me. Suddenly he was gone and when I opened my eyes, Caden stood over a now bleeding Brad sprawled out on the floor. And I saw other people standing just behind him. Shame filled me as I closed my eyes and started to cry.

“
You're okay. Oh
my God! You are okay, Lark.
”
Poppy came from behind Caden and rushed to my side. My tears fell harder realizing that it could have been Poppy in here with Brad. She reached for her phone and called home. Something ugly moved through me, a thought I tried to shut down but one that took root anyway. Maybe I was more like my mom than I thought. Maybe I had asked for this somehow.

“
Thank God Mica came to find us,” Poppy said.

“
What?”

“
Mica heard someone scream and when she opened the door, she saw Brad on top of you, so she ran to find me.”

Of all the people to save me, it was Mica—someone I never liked, but after this, I was willing to accept that I may have been wrong about her. She studied me from her spot near the door. There was sympathy in her expression, but I saw something else too, understanding. “Thank you.
”

She nodded in response before she turned and left the room.

“
Stay down, asshole.”
Caden growled to Brad. He lowered to his haunches in front of me. I could tell from Caden’s
dark expression that I looked like hell. “He didn't...”
He curled his hands into fists as he tried to ask the question I knew he didn't want to hear the answer to.

I was quick to answer since Caden looked ready to kill Brad and as much as the idea appealed to me, I didn't want Caden going to jail. “No, he didn't.
”

He peered over his shoulder to a nearly unconscious Brad and spat at him
.
“
You get to fucking live, shithead.
”

There was a commotion at the door seconds before Mr. and Dr. Wright appeared. Right behind them were the police.

I had never seen Mr. Wright in full lawyer mode but he was a force to be reckoned with. While Dr. Wright sat on my other side and held my hand, Mr. Wright took charge and within twenty minutes, statements had been taken and Brad was taken into custody. The Wrights drove me to the hospital where I had to suffer through an exam which included having someone photograph my bruises and collecting DNA from under my fingernails. Shock had muddled my brain, but even when the shock subsided I knew clarity wouldn't follow. The boy in that room with me was not the Brad I had come to know. It was terrifying, the Jekyll and Hyde performance I had witnessed tonight.

By the time we got back to the house, the shock had worn off a bit. But the horror of the evening began to sink in. Caden walked me to the sofa, Poppy wrapped a blanket around me and Mr. Wright pressed a glass into my hand. The smell confirmed that it was alcohol, but I downed it and the warmth that immediately filled me helped to push back the terror.

“
We need to call Bastian,” Caden said as he reached for his phone.

“
Please don't.”
My answer immediately had all eyes on me.

“
Why not?”
Caden asked.

In truth, I felt dirty. Having a mother like I did, I couldn't move past the possibility that I had somehow brought on Brad's behavior. Dr. Wright must have been reading my mind. She said fiercely,
“
You did nothing wrong, Lark. Rape is about control, nothing more.
”

I heard her words and I knew I should call Bastian, but I couldn't help feeling that I had somehow asked for it. I didn't want Bastian to look at me and feel disgust or something worse.

“
There's nothing he can do and telling him now will only make him insane. Please, I'll tell him, just not tonight,”
I said.

“
Okay, if that's what you want…,”
Mr. Wright said
.
“
But
you are pressing charges.
”

I met his hard stare and replied, “Absolutely.”

Physically I was exhausted, and though I knew sleep wouldn't come, I wanted to be alone. Dr. Wright seemed to know what I was thinking.
“
If you need to talk about it, our door is open,” she said.

“
Thank you.
”

Poppy hugged me hard.
“
Do you want me to sleep in your room?
”

“
Thanks, but no.
”

“
Okay. If you change your mind...
”

I started
from the room, but Caden stopped me. Our gazes met and held—he still looked furious, and I knew I’d
feel shaky for a while longer—at the same time we stepped into each other. I buried my face in his shoulder as he pulled me close. He brushed his lips over my forehead before he took a step back. I managed a weak smile to hide the fact that I couldn't think of any words to express my gratitude for what he did for me, but he seemed to understand.

When I reached my room, I closed the door and immediately started frantically pulling off my clothes as I headed to the bathroom. I cranked the water up as hot as I could tolerate as I scrubbed every inch of my body. I jumped out of the shower for my toothbrush and brushed like a madwoman to get his taste out of my mouth. My skin was red and raw and my gums were swollen from brushing so hard, but I felt better. I slid down the wall of the shower and rested my forehead on my upturned knees.

The only person I wanted with me was the one person I was terrified to tell about my ordeal. I had willingly gone into that room with Brad. Had I asked for it? Had I subconsciously brought this on myself? Bastian’s
face hovered just there behind my eyes and his look of disgust sent a chill through me. Would he think less of me? Would he look at me differently? The idea of it, of losing him, sent tears blending in with the spray from the shower.

Later that night while I lay in bed, I remembered Brad's odd comment about fate and us being linked. What had he meant by that?

***

The following morning, I couldn't look in the mirror, because my lips were bruised: a very visual reminder of the horror from the night before. I showered again and brushed my teeth to the point of blood. Just thinking about last night made me sick, physically ill. Part of me believed it had just been a terrible nightmare, but one look in the mirror disproved that. How had I not seen what hid under Brad's affable exterior? Never would I have believed that he was capable of hurting me and that was what fueled my fear that perhaps I really had brought it on myself. I wanted Bastian, wanted him to wrap me in his arms and make it all go away.

My thoughts turned to Mica. Had she been on the receiving end of Brad's unwanted attention too? Was that why her personality had changed so radically? They were friends, Brad and Mica. What a betrayal, it would have been like Shawn attacking me. It made sense though, how she no longer sought attention but tried to hide from it. A snippet of the conversation with my uncle about my mom flashed into my head. Hadn't my uncle said my mother had done the same, that she had withdrawn from everyone? My God, was it possible? No, I was still in shock and not thinking clearly.