Just Me (14 page)

“
Lark, what are you doing out here, it's cold?”

Oh, how much I would love to dump it on him, but why make his life miserable too? “I was warm.” The lie slipped silkily past my tongue.

“
Hop in, you're making me cold.”

On the drive my uncle peppered me with questions about my day and though I answered, my mind was elsewhere. He pulled up in front of the school. “You look beautiful, Lark. Have fun tonight.”

“
I will. Thanks for the ride.”

“
Anytime.”

Climbing from the car, I pulled my long coat closed over my costume and hurried inside. I wasn't going to let my aunt ruin my night. It had been her intention after all. Likely she overheard the girls helping me get ready, and the thought of them being kind to me must have really burned her ass. She would not spoil my night and I was surprised at how easily I was able to dismiss her from my thoughts.

My friends had yet to arrive, so I dropped my coat at the coat rack before making my way into the gym. The dance committee had done a really great job of turning the gym into a haunted castle of sorts. The bleachers had been pushed back against the wall and black cloths had been draped over them, hiding the wires of the white fairy lights that shone through the fabric like stars in the night sky. The choir's grand piano had been wheeled in, a cloth draped over it, and an old candelabra, with black taper candles, sat on top of it. Life-size ghouls had been situated around the open space, ghosts hung off the basketball nets, and eerie music pumped in over the speakers. A table, dressed in an orange and black lace cloth, bore ghastly baked goods: bloodshot eye cupcakes, bread sticks in the shape of witch's fingers and skeleton bones, red velvet cake in the shape of a human heart that looked as if it was bleeding where slices had been cut.

Standing on the opposite side of the gym from me was Mica, dressed as a witch. Every inch of her skin covered which was odd since she usually covered just enough to not get thrown out. Again, I was tempted to ask her what was up with her odd behavior, but was pulled from that when I heard Poppy calling my name. Turning, I watched Queen Amidala and Anakin make their way over to me.

“
Awesome costumes, guys.”

“
Right back at you. What are you? A mermaid?”

“
A siren.”

“
I love it. Is Bastian here?” Poppy asked.

“
Not yet.”

“
I'm sure he's right behind us.”

I was so eager to see Bastian's costume that my eyes were glued to the entrance of the gym. As if I willed it, he appeared. I smiled the biggest, goofiest grin when I saw what he wore. His hair was down, but tucked behind his ears. He was dressed in faded jeans, his beat-up boots and a black tee with one word in large emerald-green letters written across his chest: LARK'S. Poppy must have seen my expression when she turned to see what I was looking at. Her reaction in response was priceless. “Well, there's the best costume of the night.”

I couldn't have agreed more. I walked, well ran, toward him, and the moment he saw me he halted and just stared. He took a very leisurely study of me from head to toe and back again.

“
My siren—I'd follow you anywhere.”

I simply said, “Mine.”

His hand reached out to wrap around my neck to pull me closer. Right before his mouth touched mine he said, “Hell yes.”

***

Thoughts of sex would not leave my mind since the Halloween Dance. After the dance, to be more specific, when Bastian and I came back to his apartment and had a very hot make-out session on his new sofa. Despite myself, my aunt's hateful words lingered in the back of my mind. I didn't agree with her that Bastian was just using me, but it was infuriating that she had attempted to taint something as pure as my feelings for Bastian with her bullshit. I hated that she was in my head; that the idea of having sex with Bastian triggered the memory of that conversation. Again it was all a part of her plan, her mental abuse, but like Dominic had offered in regard to Bastian's parents, she only had power if I gave it to her. I ignored the same doubt I felt when Dominic shared those words of advice and turned my thoughts to a far more enjoyable subject.

Part of me thought Bastian and I weren't ready and that we should wait until we knew each other better. Another part of me still worried over his parents and how they intended to strike at us to break us up, but all the obstacles, real or imagined, no longer held the power they did because I wanted him. I wanted to touch every inch of him, taste him, wanted that connection to him: both physical and emotional. He was it for me, and so a larger part of me was ready to take that step with him. I could think of scarcely anything else.

It was crazy, because we'd only been together for two months, but he was who I wanted. I suspected I wouldn't be his first, but I wanted him to be mine.

We were sitting at the table Bastian had put in the kitchen so we had a place to do our homework. I hadn't meant to be so abrupt when I asked, “You've had sex before, haven't you?”

By the expression on his face, I had surprised him by both the question and the frankness of it.

“
Yes, and not with just one partner.”

I already suspected this, but I couldn't deny I was disappointed. I think that was the word for the emotion his answer stirred.

He reached across the table and brushed his thumb across my lower lip before he touched my chin to lift my gaze to his. “You're upset.”

“
Not upset. It would be unfair of me to be upset over something you did when we didn't even know each other. It's just the idea of you being intimate with someone makes me jealous.”

“
And have you?” He asked.

“
No.”

A possessive look moved over his features. He said, in a gruff voice, “If you had been with someone before me, I would have understood, but I would hate that guy because he knew you in a way only I want to know.”

Lowering my head, I struggled to find the right words because they were so foreign on my tongue.

“
What are you thinking, Lark?”

Somehow I managed to find and hold his heated gaze. “I want to with you, have sex I mean.”

“
I want that too.” His voice had grown thick.

“
I think we should wait, though, until after my birthday.”

“
Why?”

“
I don't really know. Maybe because of your parents and their need to meddle or maybe because it's so close anyway.”

Something dark swept across his face and I suspected my concern over his parents' meddling wasn't crazy after all. He didn't speak of it though and instead asked, “Are you sure?”

“
Absolutely.”

He leaned over and kissed me—quick, but full of meaning. “I'll be counting the days.”

“
Me too.”

His grin in reply was wicked.

“
There's something else I've been wanting to tell you. Ms. Whitney applied for a scholarship for me and I won it.”

“
That's awesome, congratulations.” As I watched though his smile at the news suddenly faded. “Are you not going to Columbia?”

“
I'm still going to Columbia.”

“
Thank God.”

“
But, there is a but. It's a full academic scholarship and I also have to mentor with the man who's sponsoring it. Due to some personal reasons for him, I have to move to Harrington, Maine at the end of April.”

He caught on immediately. “No senior prom.”

“
I'm afraid not.”

“
I won't lie, I really would have liked having the most beautiful girl in the state of New York on my arm for prom, but there's no question you should go to Maine.”

“
You're not upset?”

“
Upset? No. Disappointed, sure, but I'm so damn proud of you.”

I climbed into his lap and wrapped him in my arms. “Thank you.”

“
In fact, since you're going to be gone all summer, I think I'm going to accept an apprenticeship I was offered in Massachusetts working on restoring old homes.”

“
That's wonderful.”

“
Yeah, it's a great opportunity. I wanted to be with you so I wasn't going to do it, but since you aren't going to be here, there's no reason for me not to accept.” He played with a lock of my hair. “Besides, since we're both going to Columbia, we will see each other every day, especially if you agree to move in with me.”

“
I do agree.”

“
Really?”

“
Yeah.”

“
I'm going to hold you to that, Lark.”

I grinned as I held him even closer. “I was so hoping you would.”

***

The week that followed went by so quickly. The closer we got to my birthday, the more nervous and excited I grew. I knew Bastian felt it too, since he started to look at me in a way that made my whole body respond: my stomach felt all fluttery, my palms were perpetually sweaty and I had aches in places that were really distracting.

He was planning a surprise for my birthday and all he was willing to share was that I needed to dress up and that Poppy, Shawn, Sophia and Tyler, who was still Sophia's main squeeze after almost three months, were invited.

Poppy, Sophia and I were at the mall shopping in Neiman Marcus looking at cocktail dresses. Normally I shopped at far cheaper stores, so seeing the price tags was a shock. I'd have to dip into my savings if I bought a gown here, but I suspected the hit to my bank account would be worth it.

Sophia jerked me from my financial concerns when she blurted out rather unexpectedly, “I had sex with Tyler.”

Poppy reached for both of our hands. “Oh no, this is a discussion best had with ice cream.”

Once we were each sitting behind a huge dish of sugar and cream, Poppy and I turned our undivided attention to Sophia.

“
Details.” I said.

“
I really like him. I don't think he's my Shawn or Bastian, but we really click and we were both ready.”

“
How was it?” Poppy asked.

“
The first time was a bit awkward and painful, but each time since it's better and better.”

“
Wait, how many times have you done it?” Poppy asked.

“
Six.” A smile spread over Sophia's face, “It's incredible.”

I felt overly warm again just thinking about Bastian and me together especially since the wait was over. One look at Poppy, and I knew she was thinking about Shawn. My attention turned back to Sophia.

“
I remember playing Barbies together, killing Ken in any way we could—the more gruesome the better. And our club where no boys were allowed and the love of our young lives was Mr. Snuffles, our clubhouse hamster. But we're getting older now and sex is a natural part of growing up. I'm happy for you, Sophia. Happy if you're happy.”

“
I really am. Have you guys taken the plunge?” She asked me.

“
No, but we're just waiting until after my birthday,” I said.

Poppy's eyes flew to mine. “You didn't tell me that. Your birthday is tomorrow.”

I grinned like the cat who ate the canary. “I know.”

“
Why didn't you tell me?” Poppy sounded almost hurt.

“
Well, we just recently discussed it.”

Poppy was silent for a minute and I realized that she didn't just sound hurt, she was hurt. “You haven't known each other very long. Are you sure you're ready?”

Her words stung, even though her comment was a valid one, because there was a small part of me that also wondered if I was rushing into something with Bastian. My reply sounded more confident than I was feeling. “I am. I want him, he wants me. We also talked about next year. Since we're both going to Columbia, we decided to get a place together. Financially, it'll be a challenge, but Bastian has a trust and I've applied for grants.”

“
No way!” Sophia said in genuine surprise.

“
Yeah. It's a huge step, but it just feels right.” And it did feel right: scary, new and uncharted, but right.

Sophia wasn't on the same page. “I get it, I do, but you're young and your feelings could change. Maybe you should do the dorm for the first year and see what happens with you and Bastian before embarking on something as huge as an apartment.”

“
I agree with Sophia. You're in the honeymoon phase of your relationship, as wonderful as Bastian is. You may feel differently six months from now, or a year.”

I couldn't say how I knew but I did, my feelings for Bastian would never change. Trying to explain that wouldn't be easy and would most likely only cause more concern, so instead I conceded the point and agreed to rethink the apartment idea. Luckily this appeased them enough for Sophia to move the conversation away from me.

“
Wait, Poppy, you never answered that original question—when?” Sophia prodded.

“
The weekend after Thanksgiving, our ski trip, we've decided that's the weekend. And I am so ready.” She said this on an exaggerated exhale, which effectively lightened the mood and made Sophia and me burst out into laughter.

“
Whatever Bastian is planning for my birthday, I'm really glad we're all going to be together.”

“
Hear, hear,” Poppy said. “Now let's go shopping.”