Just Make Him Beautiful (38 page)

“Oh
,
it’s cool
. W
ould you like some help with the bags?”
             

“Naw, I got it
.”
Z
opened the door for me.
“
Come on in
.
”

I entered into his place
,
and to be honest, the inside didn’t look any better. Now, I
was
truly not a bog
ey
type of person, although I
couldn’t
help that I ha
d
good taste. But as I looked around at
Z
’s home, I started to wonder why they hadn’t condemned this place
before it fell on its own.
It appeared
to only be standing on a wing and a prayer anyhow.

Z
put his groceries away and took me on a tour of his home. He did tell me that he only bought this property as an investment and that he was actually in the process of fixing it up.
All I can say
was,
the tour didn’t last long because each room looked as bad as the
other
.

I told him how hungry I was
,
and he took me down to his kitchen and began fixing me a plate.
I had to give the brotha credit because he was buying real estate and fixing them up.
Donald Trump d
id
it all the time
.
S
o
,
who’s to say that in a few years Mr. Zachary Davis won’t be this big
-
time
m
ogul?

Anyways
,
Z
fixed my plate
,
and we sat down to eat.
What surprise
d
me was
,
before eating,
Z
wanted to hold hands and say grace. That really impressed me, a spiritual brotha. However, the food wasn’t that great
.
H
e cooked some kind of baked fish, baked potatoes
,
and fresh broccoli
,
all half
-
cooked.
Z
noticed I was having a hard time eating my food and apologized profusely
,
but I told him it was okay, it was the thought that count.

Later, we sat in his half
-
decorated living room and watch this movie called,
Torch
Song Trilogy
,
which he said was one of his favorite movies. 
I had never heard of the movie
,
but I really, really enjoyed it.
It was about this gay white dude who performed in drag and was looking for love and a family to call his own. Very emotional movie
.
H
ad me crying and shit. I was so embarrassed
,
but
Z
told me not to be because when he first saw it, it made him cry as well
.
T
hat made me feel a lot better.

Unfortunately, I wasn’t that attracted to
Z
physically because he was tall, really tall
,
and rather thin. Of course, I’ve heard about those tall
,
thin brothas with the big dicks
.
Yes! But what I did like about
Z
was his
personality
.
H
e was sweet, caring
, affectionate, and attentive.
He catered to me to make sure I was comfortable
,
or whether
or
not I wanted more to drink
. H
e held my hand as we watched the movie
.
A
ll the things that a girl would love, you know
.

I wasn’t planning on sleeping with him, at least not on the first date
.
B
ut could he hit this? Absolutely
.

At about midnight,
Z
walked me to my car and gave me a nice warm hug.
I was surprised
,
considering it was outside.
Granted, no one was out that time of night
,
but I was still surprise
d
he would do that so openly.
You know how some guys will fuck you silly and
everything
else behind closed doors
,
but as soon as you get them out in public, half the time they act like they don’t know you. But I gave
Z
big points for that because that’s all I needed
,
was just a warm hug
,
and it was perfect.

*

The whole drive home, I thought about
Z
and how good he made me feel.
We
’d
made plans for later that day to actually go to a movie.
He told me that since I sat and watched his movie, I could pick any movie and we would go check it out, his treat. He actually started giving me butterflies
.
  I felt like some schoolgirl.

I made it to the mansion and
drove up to the gate and input my code
.
T
he gate opened
,
and I
pulled right in the driveway.
I
t appeared as though no one was home
,
because all the lights were out. 

“Good,” I said to myself.

As soon as I entered
t
he front foyer, I was slapped so hard in the face
,
I fell to the floor.

Suddenly
,
t
he lights came on
,
and standing over top of me was Keith.
“Where the fuck did you go?” he yelled
,
looking down at me.

I held the side of my face and tried to
get the ringing out of my ear.
“Why did you do that, Keith?”

He yelled,
“I asked you a simple question
!
Don’t have me ask you again
!
”

“I
-
I
-
I went out with with my sister Keisha,” I replied trying to get up.

“Don’t fuckin
’
lie to me
,
dammit
!
” Keith slapp
ed
me once again
and knock
ed
me back down to the floor.

I cried out
, curling myself up in a ball.
“I
-
I
-
I ain’t lying
.
”

“What?
You think I’m stupid
?
”
he screamed, still
standing over top of me.
“
You think I don’t know your every fuckin
’
move?”

“What do you want from me
?
” I blabbed
,
hiding my face with my hands.

“You belong to me, you hear me?
I betta not ever see you with that dude again. What
?
Y
ou don’t think I know who he is
?
Mr. Zachary Davis. I know that punk
-
ass muthafucka
,
too. Stand yo
’
ass up
!
”
H
e grabb
ed
me by my shirt.

Chile
, I d
idn
’t know how Keith knew about
Z
.
I c
ould only
assume that he must have
been
follow
ing
me and I wasn’t aware of
it
.

I stood up in tears as Keith slammed my body against the wall
.
“If I ever see you with anybody else, their ass is mine
,
and yours is
,
too
!
”
h
e yelled in my face, “
And don’t you forget that shit!
 
Now
,
take you
r
ass to your room, take a shower
,
and get ready fo
’
dis dick!”

As I walked up the stairs
, holding the side of my face, I pass
ed
by Robin,
who was
just standing there with a big
-
ass grin on her face.
O
bviously
she’d been
standing there the whole time.

I guess I c
ould
n’t blame her
.
What could she say?

This was the first time
Keith
had ever hit me and made these kind
s
of
demands. It frightened me
. So
,
I did what I was told
.
I
took a hot shower and prepared myself for
him
.

Chapter 21

I sat at the kitchen table
Monday morning waiting for my Momma to arrive for her first day of work. I
was on
my third cup of coffee
,
thinking about my life. I
had come
to the conclusion that I didn’t mind being gay
.
I just wished I wasn’t as passive as I was
,
because some brothas
took
advantage of that. I’
d
been around and seen other bottom brothas out here that was as masculine as they come and d
id
n’t seem to have some of the same problems as
the more feminine ones
like me. Not to mention
,
these same masculine bottom brothas seem
ed
to be able to get those hard
,
masculine top brothas more easily.

There seems to be a certain amount of prejudice among those masculine bottom brothas versus those feminine bottom brothas. I’m not sure why that is, considering we all like the very same thing.

I had this one masculine bottom brotha tell me once that he didn’t like feminine bottom brothas because he didn’t feel it was necessary to be so obvious. I told him that I had nothing to hide
,
and
that
obviously he was ashamed a
bout
who and what he was. Anyways, I wished there wasn’t so much conspiracy between bottom brothas, regardless whether
they were
masculine or feminine because
,
the bottom line is, we all ha
d
a story to tell
,
and we all ha
d
to fight the same battle.

I didn’t see
Z
yesterday
,
even though he
’d
called and text
ed
me several times.
Keith
had
made it very clear with his threat
,
so
I didn’t want
Z
to get caught up in my bullshit.
I figured
,
once all this was over, I would call
Z
and explain everything
.
U
ntil then, I had to keep my distance from him.

I felt like a caged animal, locked up and not able to have a relationship with anyone.
But
, as much as I began to despise Keith, I still enjoyed sex
with him.
But how could this be? My mind said no
,
but my body
was aching for him
.

Buzz
!

I heard the intercom and jumped up to press the gate button so my Momma could enter. In a way, I felt like a little kid because I was go
ing
to spend time with
her
.
I went and stood at the door and watched as Momma drove up and parked.