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Authors: Annie Bryant

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BOOK: Just Kidding
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Avery heard the groan from the boys as she, Isabel, and Betsy joined the group on the floor. She had never had a teammate be so negative about her in her whole life. She felt like crying right there. It was great that she would finally get to play, but what about the guys she'd always played with? Were they going to treat her differently now? Would they ever want to play with her again? Was Dillon even her friend anymore? Before, it had always been about who wanted to play and who had the skills. Now it was some stupid boys vs. girls thing that was ruining everything, and during Spirit Week, to top it off.

But it'll be better when we get out there
, Avery told herself hopefully.
These guys know how I play. Once they're on the court with me, it'll be lots better
.

But it wasn't. To Avery's horror, as soon as the referee blew the whistle, Chase grabbed the ball from Betsy, who had gotten it on the jump ball, and passed to Kevin, who ran down court and aimed at the basket. Score two points for Ms. R's team.

From that point on, Chase and Kevin dominated the entire game. Not only would they not pass to the girls, but they wouldn't even look at them. It was as though they were playing all by themselves against Ms. O'Reilly's team!

Finally, Avery, frustrated that she and the other girls were being completely ignored, grabbed the ball while Chase was dribbling and started downcourt herself. She made a sweet basket, to thunderous applause from everyone on the bench. When Alexis Medley dribbled down the court, Avery stole the ball and dribbled back toward the basket, only to have the ball ripped away from her. Chase had stolen the ball, faked a jump shot, and passed the ball to Kevin. Avery, Betsy, and Isabel stood in shock. The boys were actually playing against them—their own teammates! Ms. O'Reilly's team glanced uneasily at each other and shrugged their shoulders as they chased the boys down the court.

After the game turned into five on two, Ms. O'Reilly's class gained a steady lead. Even though Ms. R tried to keep the playing time fair, the boys continued to ignore the girls on the court. Nick, Riley, and Yurt tried to keep it more balanced, but Pete, Dillon, Kevin, and Chase hogged the ball every time. When the game was over, the final score was Ms. O'Reilly's team 38, Ms. Rodriguez's team 27. Avery and the other girls sat back on the bench, bewildered and angry at how unfair everything had been, and the boys were sullen because they'd lost, despite their macho efforts.

 

By the time the tug-of-war started, Ms. Rodriguez's class had absolutely no team spirit whatsoever.

“All right, everyone, line up!” called Ms. R as the class sauntered over to the area where the tug-of-war rope was being positioned.

Isabel hung back with a group of girls, including Avery.
They all watched as the boys huddled together, talking about tug-of-war strategy. Except for Chase, most didn't look too happy with themselves or each other.

Now Isabel wondered if she should ask Kevin to talk to some of the other guys and get them to stop acting so selfish. She'd had such a nice talk with Kevin in the art room, before all the weirdness started, and she thought that when he was away from people like Chase, he could be a genuinely interesting and nice guy. Kevin was popular, too, and if he encouraged the boys to act a certain way, a lot of them would probably follow him.

She walked toward him as the class began to drift toward the tug-of-war rope. “Uh, Kevin?” she said tentatively. She didn't want to cause a scene or start the gossip chain all over again, but Kevin obviously wasn't paying attention. She tapped him lightly on the shoulder.

Uh-oh
. Disaster movie in the making! Chase saw her.

“Oh, man, look at that!” he called loudly enough for everyone in the gym to hear. “Just what ole Kev needs, huh—a bird girl hanging on his shoulder!”

Isabel flushed an angry red, but Kevin never even turned around. He simply walked away from her, back toward Chase and the other boys. Isabel was furious. If that was how he was going to behave, then fine!
It's not my job to fix this whole Spirit Week disaster!
she thought as she whipped around and walked over to Avery and Katani.

By now it was obvious to everyone that the girls were fired up and channeling their anger to win the tug-of-war. Everyone, even the Queens of Mean, tied on the
blue bandanas Avery had brought, and the purple paint on their faces made them look fierce and determined and almost like real warriors.

“Come on, everybody, let's
win
this thing!” Avery called. There was no way they could win the Spirit Trophy at this point; Ms. O'Reilly's homeroom had clinched it with two wins. But maybe they could still pull out some kind of class victory to save the sports competition from being a total bust.

Avery grabbed for the front of the rope nearest the center, but before her hands could lock securely on it, Chase jumped into the place ahead of her. “I should be up front,” he announced loudly. “I'm stronger, so I should take the front spot to make sure we get the ‘W,' and the other guys should be at the back to anchor it. Get out of the way, Avery. You saw what happened when the girls got into the basketball game. Can anybody spell
losers
?”

Ms. R was in his face before he finished the sentence. “What did you say, Chase?” she said quietly.

“Hey, c'mon, Ms. R, I'm just kidding!” he said, trying for a goofy grin. Avery wanted to knock that goofy grin off his face—if anything made them lose the second basketball game, it was Chase's pigheadedness and unwillingness to pass the ball to anyone other than his own buddies!

“The word loser is
not
allowed in my classroom, or anywhere in this school. Do you understand, Mr. Finley?” Ms. Rodriguez looked very stern. “I'll speak to you later. But now, the team should figure out what will be the best setup for tug-of-war, and I expect to see some girls in that lineup.”

Most of the boys clustered in the front, with Henry Yurt flexing his not-too-impressive muscles at the end of the rope. “Okay, everyone get ready!” Ms. R announced, raising her arm in the air. “Let the tug-of-war…begin!” Ms. R lowered her arm to signal the start of the competition. Avery planted her feet and tugged the rope with all her might. Chelsea and Katani were in the back with Yurt, acting as anchors. Everyone strained to pull the rope, beads of sweat pouring down their faces. Since they'd all been arguing, they hadn't had time to set themselves up properly, and eventually the ropes slipped past the marker and the other team erupted into a cheer of victory.

When everyone poured back into Ms. R's classroom after the contest, Ms. R observed them for a few moments, pacing back and forth in front of the rows of seats. “It seems to me that many of you missed the entire point of Spirit Week,” Ms. R finally said. “This week isn't about winning or losing as much as it's about being proud of your school and each other, and being part of a team.” She gave Chase a pointed look. “Being a team player starts with respecting
everyone
on your team, female or male, and always thinking about how you can help them to be better and to have fun. There's no room for putting people down, and you can't use anyone else as an excuse for not winning. Everyone is in this together.”

Chase looked down at his sneakers. He wasn't about to argue with Ms. R and get detention. But to Avery, it was obvious by the sour look on his face that he wasn't buying Ms. R's lesson.

Avery was listening intently to Ms. R, trying to overcome her own disappointment over Sports Day. What was
there to look forward to now? Tomorrow was set aside for class skits honoring Spirit Week, and she didn't think her class stood a chance of pulling off a skit together.

But as she glanced around at the defeated-looking students, an idea popped into her head. Avery wasn't usually all that interested in skits and drama; that kind of stuff was Maeve's department. But a funny skit could be just the thing to help them get back the spirit they had lost.

Avery turned around to where Maeve, Charlotte, Isabel, and Katani were sitting. All four looked disillusioned.
Just wait until they hear my plan
, Avery thought.
It'll put smiles on their faces in no time
.

When the bell rang, Avery jumped up. “Maeve, I have a cool idea for the skits tomorrow.” She grabbed Maeve's arm. “I think it could really help get our class spirit up again. But I need the help of a real pro, and you're the only one who can do it. Are you in?”

Maeve grinned. “Well, when you put it that way, how can I resist? A chance to practice my acting skills
and
help our team? Sounds like the best plan I've heard all day!”

“Yeah, we could sure use something to perk everyone up,” Katani said, surveying the class as they packed up their bags. The room was unusually quiet, except for Chase, of course, who was talking loudly to Dillon about a new video game he had just gotten.

Katani wondered whether anything like this had happened in other years at Abigail Adams. There was one person she was certain would know the answer—and she made a mental note to ask her sister Candice that night.

CHAPTER 17
This Bird's a Quack

T
he next morning a very fidgety seventh grade sat in the auditorium. The buzz was upbeat despite the negative energy from yesterday's boys-versus-girls basketball fiasco. Everyone was waiting to watch the high school cheerleaders start Skits Day with a pep rally. The rally was a fun Spirit Week tradition, and the appearance of the high school champion cheerleaders was a big treat. “Who's got the pep? Who's got the spirit? Abigail Adams, so everybody cheer it! A-B-I-G-A-I-L! That's your name—uh-huh—so everybody yell! Gooooo, Abigail Adams! Gooooo, Abigail Adams! Whooo-hoooo!” The cheerleaders rocked the auditorium with their flips and amazing pyramids.

Maeve sat up straight watching their every move. Energetic and skilled, the cheerleaders were flipping across the stage like star performers.
Those uniforms are totally cute
, she marveled.
That red and white combo would look fabulous with my hair. When I'm in high school I'm
so
going to try out!
Maeve hesitated for a second.
Wait a minute
, she told herself.
Am I going to have time for cheerleading and dance and theater? By the time I'm in high school I'll need to focus all of my extra time on my theater and movie career. I might not have time for cheerleading on top of that. Maybe they'll let me be an alternate or something. I just HAVE to have that uniform!

Maeve sighed. Being totally committed to a future career in the entertainment industry did have its downside!

She felt a tug on her sleeve. It was Charlotte, bringing her back down to earth. Mrs. Fields was applauding the cheerleaders and walking out to the microphone at the center of the stage. The principal would be introducing the skits soon, and Maeve knew that her group was up first.
Focus
, she reminded herself as she got up and followed the others backstage.
There are some things more important than cute uniforms!

By the time Mrs. Fields was done, people couldn't wait to see the skits. There was nothing funnier than seeing their classmates goof around on stage. Predictably, Ms. R's class hadn't been able to settle on one idea, so they were going to present two skits—one from the girls and one from the boys.

“And now,” Mrs. Fields was saying, “I'm proud to announce the start of our Spirit Week skits. As you know, I've asked students to perform something that would show us what Spirit Week has meant to them. I expect all of you to give a great round of applause to anyone who has shown the “spirit” to get up and perform in front of their peers.
She looked at a card in her hand. “The first group is ‘Girl Power…and Friends,' from Ms. Rodriguez's homeroom. Let's welcome Avery Madden to introduce them.”

Avery walked out on stage, breathing hard. Her legs felt like jelly and she had clamped her hands to her side to keep them from shaking. Avery had
never
been this nervous before a big game. Performing on stage was definitely not her thing. She searched the crowd for Maeve. Sure, Avery had given speeches for student government in elementary school, and she'd gotten up in front of the entire seventh grade in the race for class president, but performance was a brand new thing for her. She hoped she wasn't getting what Maeve called “stage fright.” She remembered Maeve saying that taking deep breaths helped to calm her down whenever she performed. Since Avery was breathing like she'd run a marathon, she figured she better employ Maeve's trick, and she began to take slow, smooth breaths. As she neared the microphone, Avery took one last big gulp of air, caught Maeve's wave out of the corner of her eye, and let the air out in a giant
whoosh
. Unfortunately, the audience heard her, and kids began to laugh.
Great. Just what I needed
. Her knees began to shake.

Mrs. Fields gave Avery a smile of encouragement and backed away from the microphone, which had been adjusted for her height. It was several inches too tall for Avery, so she quickly reached out to lower it, although she didn't know if it would make a difference. Right now, Avery was convinced that if she opened her mouth, the only thing that would come out would be a pitiful squeak—a sound more like Maeve's guinea pigs than a
seventh-grade girl.

After fumbling for a few awkward seconds, Avery finally managed to slide the microphone down to the right level and lock it. Wiping her sweaty hands on her pants and glancing at her notecards, she faced the audience. “Our skit is called
Revenge of the Sports Martians from Planet Trogg
and it was inspired by this
particular
Spirit Week.” She made sure to look directly at Chase Finley, who blinked at her but didn't even open his mouth to make one of his famous snide remarks. “Hope you like it—and hope you
get
it!”
Phew
, Avery thought.
I'm so glad that's over with
. She couldn't believe how exhausted she felt from saying those few words in front of an audience, and she had a newfound respect for Maeve. Being on stage was no joke!

As soon as she walked backstage, the curtain opened to show Maeve, Charlotte, Chelsea, Betsy, Katani, Isabel, and several other girls in Ms. R's class dressed in sports clothes. Each wore either baseball pants and a numbered T-shirt, basketball jerseys and baggy shorts, or tight white football pants with short-sleeved shirts bearing players' numbers. All of them were covered in dirt, as though they'd been playing hard. Each girl wore a sideways baseball cap on her head, and each girl's head hung down at a strange angle, as though it wasn't quite resting properly on her neck.

The girls had their arms stuck out and their eyes stared straight in front of them, like zombies. Their legs moved as though they were rubber, and they didn't seem to notice anything, not even each other, as they staggered around the stage.

Then several basketballs rolled across the stage, and the staring eyes all lighted on them and began to chase after them. “Ball…ball…” murmured the zombies as they tried to stumble after the basketballs, almost falling over their own feet and bumping into each other without realizing it. “Must get ball…must pass to boy…must only pass to boy…must get ball and pass to boy.”

As the zombies finally zeroed in on the slowing basketballs, Avery and a few other girls ran onto the stage. Unlike the zombies, the new cast members wore the bandanas and purple eye paint from the day before. They were clearly meant to be humans, because they called to each other and were graceful and alert as they tried to pick up the basketballs. But the zombies blocked them away from the basketballs, chanting “must get ball” and “must only pass to boy” while continuing to stare straight ahead.

When the girls tried to pull the basketballs away from the zombies, the zombies acted as though they were not there, while hilariously managing to stiffly throw the balls anywhere but the right place. Several basketballs went into the audience, some hit the other zombies. One even bounced lightly off Mrs. Fields, who tapped her foot in pretend annoyance.

Avery and the other girls shouted, “Throw it to me!” and “I'm open!” and “Over here, boys!” But the zombies ignored them and continued to throw the balls all over the place. Kids in the audience were loving it, calling out to the zombies to throw the balls in their direction.

The boys in Ms. R's class were beginning to whisper to each other and were shifting uncomfortably in their seats,
but the rest of the auditorium was laughing.

Finally, Maeve, the head zombie, stumbled to the center of the stage. As the girls shouted, “Throw to me! I'm open, I'm open!” she acted as though all the noise was becoming too much for her. She put stiff zombie hands on her head, shook it from side to side, still staring, eyes wider than ever, and said loudly, “Must not pass. Must not…do not know why…“She seemed to be getting weaker by the second. “…Do not know…Red Sox…second baseman.”

And with that, she stumbled one final time, fell face forward on the stage, and lay still.

Behind her, as though connected to their head zombie, the other zombies all wavered and began to teeter and fall, calling softly, “Red…Sox…second…baseman…second…baseman…” In two seconds, all the zombies lay still all over the stage.

The girls, led by Avery, looked down at the crumpled zombies and picked up the only basketball that was still on the stage. Soon they were running all over the “court,” passing and shooting, shouting happily to each other when they fake-scored baskets. From the wings, the players were joined by Riley, Nick, and Dillon, who was back in Avery's good graces. They became part of the game right away, passing to the girls and to each other, dribbling around the court and setting up plays, shooting, and in general, acting like a real team.

Maeve raised her head slowly, as though with tremendous physical effort. She could “hear” the girls and boys playing well together. She focused her staring eyes on the
game, then turned slowly to the audience and spoke the final line of the skit: “Zombie…make…big…mistake. Zombie want to play too.” But it was too late, the game was over. Zombie Maeve staggered and her head dropped again, as though all the life had been drained out of her.

As the curtain closed, the audience laughed heartily and applauded until their hands stung. The Girl Power…and Friends skit was a big hit.

Mrs. Fields and Ms. Rodriguez both looked bemusedly at the boys from Ms. R's homeroom that were still in the audience. They seemed sheepish. Clearly, as Avery had hoped, they
got
it.

Mrs. Fields waited until the applause for the zombie skit died down and the actors returned to their seats before she introduced the next group. “And now let's all welcome Kevin Connors to introduce the ‘Cool Dudes' of Ms. Rodriguez's class.”

Kevin looked less sure of himself in front of a microphone than he did on the basketball court. He gripped the microphone tightly and said hesitantly, “And now, the Cool Dudes of Ms. R's homeroom in
The Blabber Birds
.” Whistles and hoots emanated from the audience. “Bring it on!” someone shouted.

“Oh, no!” Charlotte whispered to Isabel. “I don't like the sound of this!”

Isabel said nothing, but clenched her hands together. Charlotte moved a little closer to Isabel and linked her arm through her friend's.

The curtain opened to show Chase dressed in a fluffy skirt (his gym shorts hanging down), oversized pink ballet
shoes, and a white-feathered scarf and hat. He resembled one of the dodo birds from Sesame Street. Chase looked so completely silly that everyone began to crack up as soon as he flopped his way to the center of the stage.

Chase did a few classic yoga postures, with his arms floating in various poses above his head while he tried to stand on one leg, which provoked huge laughter from the audience. Even the teachers were laughing at his attempts at grace. Maeve had to admit that Chase did have really good comic timing.

Then Chase opened his mouth and began to sing—absurdly off-key—warbling like a bad opera singer and gesturing dramatically while still poised on one leg. His performance brought down the house. Ms. R was wiping tears from her eyes, and her face turned very red as she laughed helplessly. Even Charlotte and Isabel couldn't help but giggle…Chase looked like a complete dodo bird.

When he had finished his “song,” another boy came out, dressed in basketball clothes and dribbling a ball, pretending to talk to Chase very seriously. Chase pretended to listen, his head attentively tilted toward the boy, and then, as the boy continued to mime a conversation, Chase flapped his wings and pretended to get upset.

Behind Chase came Derek Janner, one of the other boys who hung out with Kevin. He was wearing a trench raincoat belted across his waist and a hat pulled low over his eyes, which were hidden by sunglasses. But under the hat he had on a bird mask and wore a wig of long black hair. He carried a pair of large binoculars and trained them
on the audience, watching them avidly and then turning to say something over his shoulder to another boy, who listened eagerly and then leaned forward and began to ask a series of eager questions: “Who? You don't mean it! You've got to be kidding! Where were they? When did you find out?”

Katani, Charlotte, Avery, Maeve, and Isabel sat in silence. None of them was laughing anymore. It was completely obvious…
Chase was impersonating Isabel and blaming the rumor on her!

“Oh,” Katani whispered to Charlotte, “this is so
not
funny! I don't ever want to speak to Chase Finley again. It's one thing to tease a whole group, but to single out one person in front of the whole school,” and she looked at Isabel directly, “an innocent person…it's just plain mean. And what does this have to do with Spirit Week?”

“If you think about it,” Charlotte whispered back, “this is
just
what Spirit Week has been about for our class this year. Gossip and rumors.”

“But that's not what it's supposed to be about,” Katani protested. “If my sister Candice could see this, she'd totally lose it! She loved Spirit Week at Abigail Adams, and she told me last night that it used to be the best week of the entire year. We are so not on the
right
track here.”

“The question of the day is,” Charlotte murmured, “how do we get back on the right track?”

The laughter of the audience, most of whom were still reacting to the boys dressing as bird girls, was building, and Chase was loving every minute of it. He fluttered around the stage, seeming to forget that he was supposed
to be huddled in conversation with the boy next to him. When the boy cleared his throat loudly, Chase kicked his heels in the air to a burst of giggles from the audience. They loved his skit, and he knew it.

The girls could almost see the wheels turning as Chase decided to improvise a new line. He stopped what he was doing, strode to the center of the stage, threw out his feathery chest, and said to Derek, “And you can just take your silly sweatshirt back…because it…” Chase was so excited by the audience response that he'd obviously forgotten whatever he planned to say. Finally, he burst out, “Because it will always remind me of you!”

BOOK: Just Kidding
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