Just Kate: His Only Wife (Bestselling Author Collection) (15 page)

“That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard,” Kate argued, lacing up one of her boots. “If you don’t think we can make it, why the hell did you bother to propose?”

Sean cupped his hand under her chin and made her look up at his face. “Because I love you, and I need you,” he said forthrightly.

“Well, then,” Kate pressed, standing.

“I felt the same way about Abby,” he answered tightly. Then he took up the fishing poles and the tackle box again, and he walked away.

Kate still didn’t know whether he’d really meant his marriage proposal. It had seemed so, but then he’d made that ominous remark about Abby. She followed him down to the rocky bank of the lake and took one of the fishing poles when he set them down. “I guess you don’t trust me much,” she observed.

Sean took a jar of fish eggs from the tackle box, opened it and baited his hook. “I think we should live together for a while,” he announced.

“No way,” said Kate, thinking of Gil as well as herself and Sean. “If you don’t have enough confidence in what we have together to marry me, then we’re better off to stay on separate continents.”

Sean handed Kate the pole with the baited hook. “What do we have, Katie-did? Besides the sexual thing, I mean?”

Kate cast her hook into the water and reeled in the slack in her line. “I don’t know. But if it’s what I saw back there at the McAllisters’, I want a shot at it.”

Sean looked at her and grinned. “Me, too,” he answered.

They fished in silence for a while, neither getting so much as a bite, and then Sean said, “I’ve got a flight to Hong Kong day after tomorrow. Come with me.”

Kate hesitated. “I don’t think so.”

“Why not?”

“Because I want to spend some time with Gil, for one thing. And I need to think about what’s happening between you and me. In case you haven’t noticed, Sean Harris, it’s hard for me to put one sensible thought in front of another when you’re around.”

He grinned. “I have the same problem.”

Kate drew a deep breath. Since they were talking calmly, now seemed as good a time as any to broach the subject of taking Gil back to America for a visit with his maternal grandparents. “Mother and Daddy would love to see Gil,” she ventured.

Sean stiffened slightly. “Fine. Let them fly down here.”

Kate sighed. “Sean, my father is getting older, and he’s not in the best of health. I think the trip might be too much for him.”

Sean was quiet for a long time. Out of the corner of her eye, Kate could see that his jawline was as hard as the volcanic rock embedded in the walls of the canyon rising around the lake. “I don’t trust him,” he said finally.

Kate gave her line a few tugs, hoping to interest a fish. “Okay,” she answered, “but it’s only fair to tell you that if we get married, I plan to make regular trips back to the States. And if we have a child, I’m taking him or her with me.”

Sean’s resentment was almost tangible. “Fine,” he said. “Let’s just forget about having babies and getting married. That will make everything simple.”

“Damn,” Kate muttered through her teeth. “What did my father do to make you hate him so much?”

“He tried to steal my son.”

Kate’s pole trembled in her hands. “I know you think Daddy was behind that, Sean, but you’re wrong. He would never do a thing like that.”

“A month ago you would have told me that what’s-his-name wouldn’t sell cocaine,” Sean pointed out, reeling in his line with a furious motion of his hand and then casting it again.

The reminder of Brad shook Kate’s confidence in her own instincts. She
had
trusted her fiancé with her whole heart, and she’d been so terribly wrong. She bit into her lower lip and said nothing, and her pole and the lake blurred into each other.

Sean finally put his hand on hers. “Kate, I’m sorry,” he said. “I shouldn’t have thrown that in your face.”

Kate couldn’t look at him. “No. You were right—I trusted Brad. I would have married him.”

“Kate.”

“What’s your secret, Sean?” she asked miserably, still avoiding his eyes. “What terrible thing am I going to find out about you now that I’m so much in love with you that there’s no going back?”

He took her pole and set it aside with his own. “I’ve never lied to you about anything, Kate, and I don’t plan to start.” He spread his hands. “I’m just what I represent myself to be—a man who loves you.”

Kate went into his arms and held on tight to his waist. “If this falls through,” she whispered, “I won’t be able to stand it.”

Sean entangled his fingers gently in her hair and drew her head back to make her look at him. “I’m not going to betray you, Kate,” he promised hoarsely.

She gazed into his eyes, letting all her fears and insecurities show. There was no hiding from this man who could turn her mind and body inside out at will. “I’ll marry you, if you still want me,” she said softly. “As soon as you get back from Hong Kong, we’ll arrange for the license.”

Sean nodded. “It’s a deal, Yank,” he said with a grin.

Kate put her arms around his neck and kissed him. “There’s one other thing, Sean,” she said after a long time. “I can’t live in Abby’s house.”

“Fair enough,” he answered. “We’ll shop for one of our own after the honeymoon.”

Kate was silent a moment, gathering courage for what she wanted to suggest. “We could take Gil with us,” she said cautiously.

“On our honeymoon? Not likely, sheila.”

Kate forged bravely ahead as though he hadn’t spoken. “It’s summer in the States,” she said. “Gil would love Seattle, and on our way home, we could take him to Disneyland.”

Sean’s face hardened. “Is that what this is all about? You want to get married so your parents can get a look at Gil?”

“Of course not!” Kate protested, insulted.

He smiled, but the expression wasn’t pleasant. “Maybe they’d like to come down for the wedding,” he suggested. “I’m sure they’ll be pleased to learn that The Fiend has started in on their second daughter after using up their first.”

“That’s a terrible thing to say!” Kate cried.

“The truth is the truth, Kate,” Sean said stubbornly. “When your parents find out I’m back in the family, all hell’s going to break loose. You might just have to choose between them and me.”

The thought was appalling—and all too possible. “Is that what you wanted Abby to do? Choose between you and them?”

Sean threw down his fishing pole without even bothering to reel in the line. “No!” he shouted. “Damn it all to hell, no!”

Kate put her pole down carefully, just to show him that some people in this world were civilized and could control their temper. With her chin high and her shoulders back, she turned and walked toward the camp.

Sean strode after her, grabbing her by the shoulders and wrenching her around. “I never asked anything of Abby but love and loyalty,” he rasped. “She repaid me by getting rid of our baby and taking a lover.
Don’t you ever
accuse me of trying to hurt her in any way, because I gave her everything I had!”

With that, Sean abruptly released Kate and walked away, leaving her to stand alone by the lake, staring after him. He disappeared around the canyon wall without once looking back.

Kate’s emotions were in such a dither that she couldn’t stand still. Her mind rang with words she wanted to forget—
She repaid me by getting rid of our baby and taking a lover.

The solution, she knew, was to get so caught up in some task that she didn’t have time to think. She busied herself gathering rocks to make a circle around the place where the bonfire would be, as she’d seen people do in the movies. After that, she gathered what stray pieces of brush she could find and piled them inside the ring of stone.

An hour passed and there was still no sign of Sean.

Kate dragged a box of canned goods over near the nonexistent fire and sat down to wait, her chin in one hand. Sean would be back, she told herself. He couldn’t stay away forever.

She began to tap one foot against the ground. One thing was clear—marrying Sean Harris in the near future was out of the question. He wasn’t emotionally ready for such a commitment, and neither was she.

An overwhelming sadness overtook Kate, and she sighed beneath the weight of it. When they got back to Sydney, she would pack her things and return to the hotel. Once she’d had a few days to get to know Gil, she would get on a plane, go home and try to pick up the scattered pieces of her life.

The trouble was, none of them fit anymore. She was no longer Brad’s fiancé or her father’s press secretary, and that left her with nothing to be. She was shamed anew by the realization that, for all her efforts, she’d never built a life for herself.

Kate was chewing listlessly on a cold piece of Mrs. Manchester’s meat pie when Sean finally returned to camp. He looked at Kate’s attempt at a fire and grinned.

“What’s so funny?” Kate demanded. She was through putting up with his patronizing manner.

Sean dumped an armload of dry, broken branches beside the carefully arranged rocks. He ignored Kate’s question and squatted down to go through the supplies for a meat pie of his own.

“Don’t you have anything to say?” she asked when the silence stretched to interminable lengths.

Sean looked up at her, chewing. “Yes,” he answered. “Can you cook?”

Kate gave a strangled cry of fury and kicked dirt at him. “No, and I don’t intend to learn,” she said, “so you can just forget any ideas you might have of getting me to fetch and carry for you!”

“Fine,” Sean told her calmly.

“Furthermore, I have no intention of marrying anybody with a temper like yours.”

“Good,” Sean replied, serenely consuming the rest of his meat pie.

Kate sank to her knees beside him and shoved one hand through her hair. “Aren’t you going to ask me to forgive you for deserting me like that?” she asked.

“No,” Sean answered. “I’m not.”

“You’re not sorry?”

Sean shook his head. “It was leave or wring your neck, sheila. I’m still not sure I made the right choice.”

Regally Kate got to her feet, marched over to the tent and crawled inside. Then she summarily zipped the zipper.

A marriage to Sean would never work out anyway, she assured herself. And then she lay down on the sleeping bag she was going to have to share with him that night and cried until her nose was red.

Some time later the zipper on the tent made a rasping sound as Sean opened it. He crawled in to lie beside Kate, gathering her into his arms. “Don’t cry, sheila,” he whispered, holding her close.

Kate slipped her arms around his neck; she couldn’t help it. “We’re hopeless,” she said.

He chuckled. “No. Where there’s this much love, there’s always hope. But you were right before.” He paused and sighed. “We need time to think this through, both of us.”

For all the reassurance in his words, there was a note of resignation, too, and Kate was anything but comforted. She couldn’t pretend that nothing was wrong, either, because something was. “What did you mean when you said Abby got rid of your baby?” she asked, her voice barely more than a whisper.

Sean didn’t put her away from him, but his arms didn’t hold her quite so tightly. “Exactly what you think I meant,” he answered after a long time.

Kate closed her eyes. “I’m sorry, Sean.”

“So am I, but it’s over and done. It’s a mistake for us to talk about Abby. We’re both scared, and we keep dragging her memory out and throwing it between us.”

Kate knew he was right, but she wasn’t sure they’d ever be able to make a relationship work. Sure, they had passion, but Sean and Abby had probably had that in the beginning, too. Would their lovers’ quarrels become vicious battles at some point in the future?

Kate couldn’t bear the thought. “Make love to me, Sean,” she whispered, desperate for some distraction from her confusion.

He laughed, but the sound had elements of a hoarse sob. “There’s a request I’ll never refuse, Katie-did,” he said. But instead of kissing her, or opening her shirt or jeans, he caught her by one hand and hauled her out of the tent.

“I think you may be an exhibitionist at heart,” she commented, disgruntled, and Sean laughed again.

He kept right on walking toward the lake, though, pulling Kate after him.

When he finally let go of her hand, he immediately tossed aside his hat, then kicked off his boots. His socks, jeans and shirt soon followed.

Kate looked at the water with concern. “Are there snakes or crocodiles in there?” she asked.

“Probably not,” Sean answered, wading into the water.

He was as magnificent naked as he was dressed, and Kate couldn’t help staring at him. “Come back here,” she said lamely.

Sean grinned. “Come and get me,” he challenged.

“Damn it, it’s winter,” Kate pointed out, hugging herself.

“Chicken,” he replied.

His insolence made Kate get out of her boots and her clothes and stomp furiously into the water that could be infested with creatures she wouldn’t even recognize. When she stood face-to-face with Sean, he chuckled at her angry expression and began to bathe her.

The water was cold, but Kate was transfixed by the gentle splashing motions of Sean’s hands. He washed her face, her shoulders, her back and breasts and beneath her arms, and it was a strangely sensual experience.

When he proceeded to the lower part of her body, her breath caught in her lungs and the already taut tips of her breasts grew tighter still. She ran her tongue over her lips as he parted her, cried out when he claimed her with a sudden thrust of his fingers.

“Easy,” he said, as the water began to churn around them from the frantic motions of Kate’s hips. “Take it slow and easy, sheila.”

“I—oh, God—I can’t!” Kate cried. His thumb was moving around and around on her, making her slippery even though she was waist-deep in water. “Oh, Sean...”

He bent to take one of her nipples into his mouth, and Kate clutched at him, driven by a need she hadn’t been prepared for. Her nails left pink curves in the flesh of his shoulders, but she didn’t care. She moved wildly in the water, seeking him.

“Take me,” she pleaded.

“Later,” he replied. “Right now I want to see your pleasure, Kate. I want to watch you respond to me.”