Authors: Reon Laudat
“Okay,” she mumbled.
Dominic ate his food while Kendra rotated her
plate, said grace, and moved forkfuls of food around.
The forced chitchat, over imbibing, and
her lack of appetite signaled something had most definitely changed between
them.
While she spent the rest of the evening cuddling
with Dominic in his bed, she rebuffed additional sexual advances. The headache
excuse was easier than the truth: Anger over the loss of
Four Simple Wishes
lingered. As hard as she tried she couldn’t dial
back the passive-aggressive behavior. And to think she’d been so judgmental and
preachy with Selena about
Desperate
Passages
. What a hypocrite Kendra was!
This only made her feel worse.
The next morning she declined staying for
breakfast of the hot coffee and bagels Dominic had dashed to a nearby deli to
buy while she slept. She cited a hangover and an early morning meeting with a
sub-rights agent. He didn’t make an issue of her obvious fibs. Neither
initiated plans for another date. They needed space from each other so they
only exchanged perfunctory good-bye kisses at his front door.
***
After Kendra left, Dominic
went for a run to clear his head. Before heading back to his place, he’d logged
about five miles, breaking his personal best time, as if putting physical
distance between himself and the scene of a crime.
He still could not believe he’d let his
ego and didactic bent get the better of him. Again.
What was wrong with
him?
He removed his sweaty running clothes and stepped
in the shower. The rush of warm water felt good.
He regrouped. Okay, so they’d had a
fight. Couples fought sometimes.
Though he’d tried to diffuse the situation, he sensed a troubling change
in Kendra. She’d smiled at him and even let him hold her in bed, but she’d been
somewhat distant from the moment she stepped inside his place.
He thought it best to give her a little
space.
Though he wanted to ask her
to join him at the upcoming dinner party his mom was planning to celebrate his
fortieth birthday, the timing wasn’t right.
After she had a little more time to
mourn the loss of
Four Simple Wishes
,
everything would go back to normal between them.
She was falling for him as hard as he
was falling for her. No way would she let agency business come between them.
Even as he tried to affirm the positives, his panic escalated. Was he losing
her?
Chapter 34
Dominic sent more gifts to
Kendra’s agency, starting with a gag book,
99
Ways to Open a Beer Bottle without a Bottle Opener.
A courier delivered more premium yarn,
in various shades of brown, arranged to resemble a heart-shaped box of
chocolates. The note from Dominic included a jokey reference to Kendra’s habit
of using food to describe colors.
It had been a week since that pivotal night at his
place. Neither of them had picked up the phone to call the other. Now that
Brittany had left the office for the day, Kendra tapped in his number to thank
him for the gifts and do what she’d been dreading for the last few days.
“Kendra!”
Dominic said, voice springy with surprise. “I’ve missed you. How are
you?”
“I’m good,” she lied, as her palms perspired.
“Thank you for the gifts, but—”
“I know it’s early. Christmas is still weeks away.
I’m in need of another slouch beanie, but no pressure.”
“I’m not sure I can keep them.”
“Do what you want with them. I’m teasing about the
beanie. That book will make you the MacGyver of brewski.”
“It’s cute. Thank you. But, well, it’s just
that—”
“About what happened at my place—”
“Yes, we need to talk about that.
I’ve had some time to think and—”
“Sorry for coming off like an ass.”
“And I
was pretty obnoxious and tipsy, too.” The phone felt slippery in Kendra’s
hands. “But I think what happened is an example of why our personal
relationship would never work for the long haul.”
“I think you’re overreacting. So we had our first
fight.”
“But this isn’t our first. Remember that first
lunch?”
“You exaggerate. That wasn’t a fight, far from
it.”
“In my mind it was. You have no idea how much you
pissed me off when we talked agency business.”
“Okay. So we had some, um, disquieting moments,
with some posturing and one-upping. Big deal.”
“With more ‘disquieting moments’ and more
‘posturing’
and more
‘one-upping’ to come. No thank you. It
won’t work. We’re way too competitive with each other. Everything’s a darn
contest!”
“Not true.”
“It is true, and you know it. It’s exhausting,
Dominic.”
“So you’re breaking things off?” he asked
incredulously.
“I see where this is headed.” In an effort to
maintain her resolve, she held her cell phone tighter. “It won’t work.”
“This isn’t just about the spat or our dueling
egos, these authors, or their manuscripts. When you get through throwing it all
against the wall, the only thing that sticks is your fear. That’s what it all
comes down to. And you’re doing this over the phone because you know this is
bullshit, and you can’t look me in the eye. When things start feeling too good,
too right to you, you find a reason,
any
nitpick, to bolt.
C’mon, three
fiancés? This is your thing. This is what you do. Well, I’m not letting
you run off easily. I’m not going anywhere.”
“So, Alpha Man is now Head-Shrink Answer Man.”
“I’m going to ignore that,” he said. “Look, it
doesn’t have to be this way.
All
relationships require work.”
“A relationship does require work, but you have to
want
it to work. It’s a choice. Maybe
it’s as simple as I just don’t want it badly enough. Ever thought of that?”
Kendra knew her words were like darts to his heart.
A knot swelled in her throat and her
stomach roiled, but she couldn’t help herself.
“But this is insane. I’ve fallen in love with
you.”
“In love? You mean in heat.”
“Damn it, Kendra!”
“C’mon, Dominic, how long have we known
each other? Like ten minutes? This isn’t some reality dating show. No way
should either one of us toss around that word. Or think it’s a-ok to slip up
and make fat babies together.”
“I love you,” he insisted. “I…I want you to be my
wife.”
“Please don’t—”
“I do. You know I do.”
“I’m sorry. I thought the phone would make this
easier. I know I’m doing the right thing for both of us.”
“But—”
“I have to go now.”
“Wait. Don’t hang up.”
“Let’s not drag this out,” she pleaded. “It will
only make it that much harder, and uglier. I don’t want to get in too
deep—”
“But I’m already in deep. I told you I love you. I
want us to have a lifetime together. That means nothing to you?”
“It does, but I know it’s not going to work.”
Kendra had to find the strength to close because it was for the best.
“And I’m so sorry if I led you on. I
tried to explain where I was coming from. I tried to keep things light, casual
so this wouldn’t happen.
This is
too intense. I’m not ready. It’s too much, way too much.”
“Give it some time. We can pull back and take
things slowly.”
“No, it’s too late. Not after some of the things
you’ve revealed about what you want. I can’t make any promises. We’re not in
the same place. And we need a clean break.”
“Clean break?”
“Yes.”
“But—”
“Bye, Dominic,” Kendra said between swallowing her
sobs. This was even more difficult than she’d assumed it would be. “Please let
this go. Let
me
go.”
“You’re doing this? You’re actually going to do
this?”
The question was met with silence.
“So this is what you really want?” he asked. “A
clean break?”
“Yes.” Kendra’s throat burned from the effort of
keeping her voice and breath steady as her tears fell. “Don’t you see? It won’t
work with me.”
“As a matter of course. Well, all right, then. I
won’t bother you anymore.”
Dominic’s swift, icy concession took her
aback.
She’d wanted to end this
without a lot of nasty drama, but a part of her had expected him to fight
harder the way the others had done.
“Good-bye, Kendra.”
With stark awareness, Kendra shuddered. “Good-bye,
Dominic,” she said softly. “I’m sorry.”
Chapter 35
Dominic had practically
handed Kendra the X-Acto blade to de-ball him. Now he felt like a damn fool.
He’d put everything he had into nurturing a
relationship with her. He’d given her his heart, and she’d hook-kicked it right
back at him. He stood in his kitchen guzzling coffee the next morning.
Sleep had eluded him the night before
because he’d sulked and seethed about the shit he’d let her get away with. He
called the agency and told Quinton to cancel his appointments.
He needed the day off.
Too bad he couldn’t do the same that evening, but
that would mean letting his family down, especially his mother.
Up until now, he hadn’t stressed about
turning forty. Now, he felt tired, needy, and over the hill.
He slammed his fist against the island.
Kendra had dumped him over the fucking phone the day before his birthday.
He’d focus on the anger to numb the
heartache.
Damn her!
Not continuing to fight for her or try to persuade
her not to break up with him had been the hardest thing Dominic had ever
done.
Before they ended the call,
he’d assumed a stoic air. This time he would learn from past mistakes:
When a woman
made it perfectly clear she wasn’t ready to move forward with him, he needed to
check his damn ego and get the hell up out of there. Resist amateur attempts at
psychoanalysis. Resist forcing it.
Had Dominic been single for so long because he was
addicted to launching rescue missions? Had he made a habit of falling for
complicated, emotionally unavailable women because he had his own issues with
commitment? Or maybe some sick part of him got off on unrequited love.
Hell, no. He was genuinely at a loss as their
explanations pelted him: Too eager. Not eager enough.
Too little, too late. Too much, too
soon.
Friend Zone. No Zone. Ozone. Freakin’
Twilight Zone.
What in hell did women
want from him?
Forget the excitement of the chase. Breaking that
one down. Sweeping this one off her feet. He’d grown weary of the
I’m-going-to-make-you-love
-
me
song and mating dance.
Sometimes it took more than
consideration, forbearance, and all the other co-dependent nonsense that came
along with dogging the trail of someone bent on sabotaging her chances at
happiness.
Fact: He couldn’t save Kendra from herself.
What else was he supposed to do? Go to her agency
or apartment and drag her away by her hair? Stage some sort of intervention? He
hadn’t intended to blurt out he wanted her to be his wife or that it wouldn’t
be the most terrible situation if she were pregnant with his child.
Dominic had planned to wait a while to proclaim
these things, but in a frantic attempt to keep her from sacking his ass, he’d
let it all out. Of course his confession had only hastened her retreat.
What next?
It
was out of his hands. Nothing left to do. Kendra
already
knew he was deeply in love with her. Now she had to prove
she was worthy of it. Prove she wanted him as much as he wanted her.
To maintain a shred of self-respect, Dominic had
to watch and wait.
Your move,
Kendra Porter
.
Your move.
***
Dominic usually enjoyed
spending time with his family, but with wounds so raw after such a devastating
breakup, his brothers’ wives and children would underscore what was missing in
his own life.
Man up
already.
He would put on a jolly façade at the
dinner party in his honor and make a valiant effort to bask in the
camaraderie.
He pulled his SUV
through the iron gate onto the circular driveway of his parents’ stately
residence at eight p.m.
He
complimented his mother Isabella on her choice of a Victorian Christmas theme
that year. Velvet bows and brocade ornaments in rich jewel tones festooned a
grand eighteen-foot white fir, his preferred Christmas tree. Its pleasant aroma
of fresh oranges filled the entry and long hallway.
Marins, from his mother’s side, and
Tobiases, who lived within reasonable driving distance, attended. Only brother
Cooper and his wife had sent their regrets because they had to attend their
children’s holiday school production and the cast after-party. They would fete
Dominic’s milestone birthday with a dinner at their home later in the week.
As steady sleet fell outside, Isabella served some
of Dominic’s favorites. He had no appetite, but he forced down just enough to
satisfy his hawk-eyed mother.
His
father Reginald disappeared and returned with a serving cart on which sat a
gigantic birthday cake. After dessert, Dominic opened his presents, which
included replica gag spectacles to go with the Norman Butterfield action figure
on his desk at home, more socks with exploding prints, vibrant sweaters, and
two mint-condition autographed copies of his favorite classic novels.
Aunt Aubrelia, his father’s older sister, had also
slipped Dominic a separate envelope with a year-long paid membership to
Cupid4You.com dating website. Because his three brothers had amply filled the
order for grandchildren (twelve) and delightful daughters-in-law (three), his
parents didn’t harass Dominic about his failure to add to their large,
tight-knit family. However, Aunt Aubrelia had grown impatient with his bachelor
status.
She and the rest of his
family would’ve loved Kendra.
Don’t go there.
Do NOT go there
.
Dominic loved all the gifts, but their words of
support touched him deeply.
Adorable five-year-old Sophie, the
youngest of Gage’s five children, raced over, ringlets bouncing, and hugged
Dominic’s leg. “I love you, Uncle
Dung
!”
Dominic chuckled and patted her head, not
anticipating the day she actually pronounced his name correctly.
Soon, they’d gathered around the large flat screen
in the family room to watch a this-is-your-life video with many clips of
Dominic from infancy to manhood. It ended with a clip of teenage Dominic at a
taekwondo sparring competition, executing a combination of moves culminating in
a flashy spin-kick to take down his opponent.
“Kung Fu Fighting” boomed on the soundtrack
so the family came to their feet to dance.
“I know, I know, wrong martial art, but I couldn’t
find a catchy tune for taekwondo,” Isabella said over the music as she boogied
over to Dominic.
“I told Bella to go with ‘Eye of the Tiger,’ ”
Reginald added, doing what looked like a cross between the Ickey Shuffle and a
seizure.
“You
did great, Mom,” Dominic said with a smile. He would not focus on those missing
segments such as a wedding or a firstborn’s birth that had been featured in
similar videos she’d made for his brothers’ milestone birthdays. “I loved the
video.”
With everyone now singing and dancing to the
professional karaoke setup in the family room, the spotlight was off Dominic so
he slipped away for a quiet moment.