Just Grace Goes Green (5 page)

EARTH COMPLAINING ABOUT WASTED FOOD

MY ONE CONSERVATION THING

Finally I just decided to walk around the house and turn off all the lights in the rooms that no one was using. At least it was something. I didn't know Mom was in the basement until she screamed in the dark. She was okay, though, and hardly got mad, even though she bumped her head on the low pipe in the laundry room.

Turned off all lights in the house that were not being used by Mom, Dad, or me.

HOW TO SAY GOOD NIGHT TO YOUR BEST FRIEND

Mimi and I have our bedrooms right across from each other, so we are especially lucky best friends. Most nights we flash our lights at each other to say good night. Tonight when I looked out my window, Mimi was pointing to her stuffed squirrel, Willoughby. We have a secret stuffed animal code so we can tell each other how happy or not happy we are. We used to do flashlight Morse code to tell each other stuff, but it was too confusing and not fun so we stopped.

MIMI'S CODE

HAPPY

NOT SO HAPPY UNHAPPY

UNHAPPY

Willoughby

Pig-Pig

Bunny

MY CODE

HAPPY

NOT SO HAPPY UNHAPPY

UNHAPPY

Chip-Up

Rachel

Fluffy

Mimi was probably happy because Gwen was coming the next day for her visit. Our moms weren't going to let us stay home from school so we could meet her—that's why we had to make all the signs for her. That way even though we weren't there, she would still know that we were thinking about her and were happy that she was visiting. I don't know why, but it was way more fun to be thinking about Gwen and saving her than it was to be thinking about saving the earth.

WHAT I LEARNED AT SCHOOL THAT I DIDN'T KNOW BEFORE

Miss Lois said that if all the garbage regular people throw away in our country of America was a big disgusting pie, this was how it would look.

GARBAGE PIE

She said only a little bit of this pie gets recycled or reused—most of it just gets thrown away. Miss Lois said there are two ways to get rid of garbage once it has been collected by the garbage men.

1
Burn it in an incinerator—a big furnace made specially to burn garbage.

2
Bury it in a landfill—a big hole in the ground where you dump garbage.

She said both of these are not great solutions to the garbage problem, but it was all there was.

Robert Walters said, "What's wrong with burning stuff up? That sounds like a fun job. Wow! I bet you get to use one of those fire guns like the kind the guys use on TV to kill aliens. That would be so awesome!" Miss Lois said she did not know anything about killing aliens on TV but she was 100 percent sure that the people who worked at the incinerators did not use fire guns or any kind of weapons.

COMIC STRAIGHT FROM THE BRAIN OF ROBERT WALTERS

Even though I know I'm not supposed to doodle or draw comics in class, I couldn't help myself. I just have to be more sneaky and not get caught, is all. With Miss Lois being all passionate about the earth, it was a little bit easier because she was not watching us as closely as usual. Miss Lois had a lot more stuff to say about incinerators and landfills, which was good because it gave me time to finish my drawing.

I'm lucky that I can draw and listen at
the same time. That way even if I got surprise-tested with questions I would still know the answers, and Miss Lois would have to be impressed. Miss Lois would suddenly know how amazing I was at paying attention and she would feel bad that she had been thinking not-paying-attention thoughts about me.

When this happens to someone it's called eating crow. You don't actually have to eat a crow. It's just a saying that means you have to say sorry for what you did or said, and probably sometimes doing that kind of thing might be as hard, or as gross, as eating a real crow.

We just finished reading a play in class last week, so now I know all about how they work. If I were in a play with Miss Lois right now, this is how it would go.

MISS LOIS EATS GROW

A PLAY

(The scene takes place in a classroom just like ours, but the desks are fancy and new and definitely don't have gross stuff stuck on the bottom of them.)

(Miss Lois looks mean and grumpy.)

MISS LOIS:
Just Grace, are you not paying attention again? Can you tell me why incinerators are still not the best way to dispose of garbage?

(I look up at her happy and smiling, not at all scared, because I know the answer.)

ME:
Well, Miss Lois, when you burn up garbage, the smoke from the fire is full of pollution, and that is bad for the earth. Plus, when everything is all burned up, you still have to bury all the black gross ashes from the fire and that is bad too.

(Miss Lois looks a little surprised.)

MISS LOIS:
Just Grace, I don't suppose you know what is wrong with burying garbage in a landfill?

(I smile sweetly, not sneakily.)

ME:
Actually, Miss Lois, I do. Just because garbage is buried and we can't see it that doesn't mean it disappears. The garbage under the earth just sits there for hundreds of years, and sometimes all the bad poisons from the rotting garbage go into the earth and then
get into the rivers and the lakes. This is bad for people and animals and it can make us all sick.

(Miss Lois is shocked. She has her hands over her mouth. She cannot believe that the 100 percent perfect answers have come out of my mouth.)

MISS LOIS:
Just Grace! I can't believe I ever doubted you! I'm so sorry! You have been paying the most perfect attention ever! I think it's time to change someone's name in the attendance notebook.

And then she would erase the
Just
part of my name in the notebook and we would smile all happy-like at each other.

THE END

HOW TO NOT GET CAUGHT

Miss Lois asked Valerie Newcome, who was sitting right in front of me, a question about plastics and then I knew I had forgotten to be paying attention the whole time I was thinking about Miss Lois eating crow. I didn't even know we were talking about plastic. I thought we were still talking about garbage.

Sometimes when you shrink low in your seat Miss Lois will know that you are trying to disappear, so she will pick you out on purpose, because kids who are trying to disappear probably have not been paying attention and don't know the answer. It's really hard to sit up straight and pretend you know what is going on when that is not what is true, but you have to do it because that is the only way to save yourself. It's kind of like what people are supposed to do when they meet a bear.
Your body doesn't want to do it, so your brain has to take over and force it even though it is scary and it doesn't feel right.

HOW TO SAVE YOUR LIFE FACING A BEAR

HOW TO SAVE YOUR LIFE FACING MISS LOIS

Valerie Newcome did not know the answer, and I could tell that right away because she was slouching even more. Miss Lois said that if Valerie had been paying attention she would know that Americans
use over two million plastic bottles every hour and that most of those were thrown away and not recycled. This was unbelievable, but not as unbelievable as what happened next.