Just Friends With Benefits (28 page)

“Andy’s vagina flashlight would come in handy right about now,” Paul joked.

“Paul, can I grub another cig?” Hope asked. She was wasted and I was positive she’d be puking later.

Grabbing Hope by her tiny waist, Paul asked, “In exchange for what?”

Cupping his butt, Hope answered, “Anything you want.”

With that statement, they started groping each other and I took it as my cue to walk away. Although I couldn’t really see, I could hear the sounds of the waves crashing on the beach. I sat down in the sand with my beer, closed my eyes and breathed in the scent of the salt water.

“What are you doing here all by yourself?”

I looked up and saw Hille standing over me. “Just taking a rest,” I said.

“Want some company?”

“Sure. Pop a squat.” After Hille sat down, I clinked my bottle against his and said, “Cheers.”

“Cheers. To a week at the beach with no work.”

I took a swig of my beer. It was getting warm. “I’ll drink to that.”

We sat there quietly, just looking towards the water until Hille broke the silence. “So, tell me about this guy Ryan.”

I looked at him in surprise. “What do you want to know?”

“How’d you meet him?”

“We bonded over ‘The Brady Bunch’ at a book store.”

Hille chuckled. “The Brady Bunch? Really?”

“Strangely enough, yes.” I thought back to Ryan’s public display of enthusiasm over the Grand Canyon episode and smiled.

“You like him, huh?”

“Yeah. I do. He’s a good guy. Lots of fun too.”

Rubbing his hands together as if trying to warm-up, Hille looked at me and asked, “I guess he’d fit in with this crowd?”

“Definitely. He’s not quite as obnoxious as Paul, but he could hang.”

Hille nodded. “That’s cool, Steph. I’m glad for you. You deserve it.”

Just as I thought—happy for me. “Thanks, Craig. That means a lot. I feel the same way about you.” In all honesty, I wouldn’t be happy if Hille started dating someone for real after relegating us to ‘friends with benefits’ status, but what else was I supposed to say?

Hille stared out at the waves, letting the sand sift through his fingers. “Thanks, Steph,” he said. “Okay, my beer is ass warm. Time for a new one.”

“I was thinking the same thing.”

Hille stood up and when he extended his hand to me, I grabbed it and stood up too. Then I released my hand from his and said, “Let’s go.”

~ * ~

It was a surprisingly early night and I was in the room I was sharing with Denise. I didn’t relish sleeping in a twin bed for a week, but we had our own bathroom so things could have been worse. The gender-neutral room was generically decorated from the white painted walls, to the clean looking but unobtrusive white furniture set to the drab gray carpeting. I was in bed but kept the light on for Denise who was still washing her face and brushing her teeth. When she got in her bed, I reached over to the lamp on the night table, turned the light off and said, “Goodnight, Denise.”

“Night, Steph.”

I closed my eyes and wondered what Ryan was doing at that moment.

“Steph?”

“Yeah?”

“You had a fling with Hille didn’t you?”

I opened my eyes and turned on my side facing Denise’s bed. “Not sure I’d call it a fling, but we hooked up a bunch of times, yeah.” I had prematurely thought it was old news since no one else had mentioned it so far. Not even Paul. “Does anyone
not
know?”

Denise laughed. “I’m guessing it made the alumni newsletter. Just kidding, but you know how word spreads around the brothers.”

“It’s kind of ridiculous how they never grow up.” I couldn’t help but smile since immaturity was one of the characteristics that bonded us together.

“Seriously I can’t believe Bill’s a dad. So, is it weird being in the house with him?”

“With who? Hille?”
Why are you so interested?
I sat up in bed. “Why? Do you like him?” I asked. With her long dark curly hair and flawless figure, Denise was attractive enough, but braces in your late twenties were probably not at the top of Hille’s wish list in women. I cursed myself for being petty.

Denise sat up. “No!! I mean, I think he’s good looking, but I can’t go for anyone from Bill’s pledge class. It would be like incest or something.”

I wasn’t sure I bought it. It seemed very ‘the lady doth protest too much’ of her.

Denise continued, “I was just wondering because I saw you guys come in from the beach together.”

“We’re just friends. He’s totally cool that I’m dating someone.” Not wanting Denise to think I’d feared otherwise, I added, “Not that I thought he’d be any different.”

Lying down again, Denise said with her eyes closed, “That’s great. It should always be that uncomplicated. If it was my life, there would probably be crazy drama.” Turning on her stomach, she muttered, “You’re lucky.”

I fell back in bed and turned to my side, this time facing away from Denise. “Yes, I guess I am lucky—lucky and soon to be tanned. I can’t wait to be on the beach tomorrow! Night Denise.”

“Goodnight, Steph.”

As I drifted off to sleep, I thought about what my mother had said in Target. As suspected, she was wrong. Hille wasn’t at all jealous about my dating Ryan and it was just as well.

The next morning, I woke up in an empty room. I stretched out in the bed and lay there for a while just staring at the ceiling. I was so happy it was only Sunday and I still had an entire week of vacation. But I felt guilty that Ryan had to work. His soccer team also had its championship games that week. He was pretty competitive and, as I recalled his face after I beat him four times in a row in Spit, a bit of a sore loser. He was probably nervous.

I didn’t want the others to go to the beach without me so I reluctantly got out of bed. I peeked out the window and jumped up and down when I saw how sunny it was. Then I brushed my teeth and went upstairs to the kitchen. Eric was spreading peanut butter on toast and the others were outside on the balcony.

“Morning, Eric,” I called out.

“Supp, Steph. Coffee’s ready.”

“Just what I need. Throw a piece of bread in the toaster for me, will ya?”

Eric looked at me as if making my breakfast was the last thing he wanted to do but a moment later, grabbed a slice of wheat bread from the loaf and placed it in the toaster oven.

“Thanks Eric.” I kissed him on the cheek, poured a cup of coffee and went outside.

“Morning, folks.” I sat down in the first empty chair I saw, took a sip of my coffee and grimaced. “I really can’t stand milk in my coffee.”

Sitting in the chair next to mine, Hille said, “I bought you half and half.”

“You did?”

Hille nodded. “Uh-huh.” Looking up from the computer on his lap, he said, “It’s in the back of the fridge somewhere.”

“Thanks, Craig. You just saved me from a week of shitty coffee!”

Paul stood up and pulled up his sweatpants which were at least a size too big. “And you saved the rest of us from a week of hearing Stephanie complain about how awful her coffee tasted. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you!”

Eric came outside and handed me a plate. “Here’s your toast, Steph. I put peanut butter and grape jelly on it. If you didn’t want that, tough shit.”

I took a bite, relished the perfect combination of salty and sweet and wished I could personally express my gratitude to the inventor of the PB&J sandwich. “This is great. Thanks Eric. You’re gonna make such a good papa!”

“Yes he will. As long as he doesn’t smoke up in front of the child!” Jess said.

I swallowed another piece of toast and repeated, “Smoke up?”

“Paul brought pot which Eric is more than a little excited to smoke later,” Jess said.

“I gotta get it out of my system. After the baby’s born, no more illegal drugs. You’ve got my word!”

“Yeah, just vicodin, percocet and valium. All legal,” Hille joked.

“And maybe some viagra,” Paul added.

“My honey don’t need any little blue pills!” Jess insisted.

“Not yet, anyway,” Paul said.

Bored with the conversation, I looked at my pasty white arms poking out from the Jorge Posada Yankee t-shirt I’d worn to sleep. “When are we heading down to the beach?”

~ * ~

The songs on my Ipod drowned out the sounds of the guys’ constant laughter as they traded insults back and forth and I let the warmth of the sun woo me into a semi-dream state. The heat made me horny and I tried not to wiggle in my beach chair as I imagined Ryan thrusting into me with slow, long strokes as his body covered mine. I opened my eyes in time to watch Hille walking back from the water, his skin already tanned and I turned over onto my stomach. When I felt cold drops of water on my back, I flipped over and he was standing over me. I squinted my eyes to see him through the bright sun and removed my headphones. “What’s up?”

“Aren’t you gonna go in the ocean? You were so anxious to get down to the beach.”

“Yes, to get some color on my milky white body!”

“Steph’s afraid of the waves!” Eric called out from his chair.

“Really?” Hille asked. “Why?”

“Bad experience,” I said.

Hille pulled his beach chair next to mine and sat down. “Tell me about it.”

“It’s stupid.” I sat sideways on my beach chair with my feet in the sand facing Hille. “When I was younger, I was fearless. I used to swim pretty far back in the ocean and ride the waves. I loved it.”

“So what happened?” Hille asked.

“One time my family was in Virginia Beach. I must have been about twelve and I was in the water with Sam. The waves were pretty high but I was cocky and wasn’t even looking at them. I was facing the other direction waving at my mom and Al on the beach. Sam called out ‘holy shit’ and I turned around and saw a huge wave coming toward me. There was no way I was gonna be able to jump over it and I freaked out. Sam kept chanting, ‘swim through it, swim through it’ but I was too scared.”

“So, what’d you do?” Hille asked.

“I stood there paralyzed until the wave hit me and knocked me down. I swear I flipped upside down at least twice. I finally got my bearings just in time for another wave to crash into me. I think it happened three times until I was pushed toward the shore. I had sand and seaweed everywhere and it took an hour for my breathing to go back to normal. Since then, I’ve never gone in the ocean except to get my feet wet.”

As I told the story, I felt like I was reliving the experience and actually got goose bumps, but Hille just looked at me and said, “So, that’s it?”

I stared at him dumbfounded. One of the scariest experiences of my life and this was his reaction? “What? Obviously, I lived to tell the tale. What else were you expecting?”

Still looking at me incredulously, he said, “You’re never gonna go in the ocean again because of something that happened when you were twelve?”

“That’s correct.”

Hille stood up, put his beer bottle in the koozie and reached out his hand. “Let’s go.”

“Go where?” I knew exactly where he wanted to go and my blood ran cold. There was no way.

“To the ocean.” He waved his hand at me. “C’mon. I promise I won’t let you drown.”

My heart throbbing, I said, “Are you serious?”

Hille laughed. “Deadly. C’mon.”

As everyone else encouraged me to go with Hille, there was a chorus of ‘c’mons’ until I finally decided dying might be a better fate than listening to everyone else tell me to face my fear head-on. I grabbed Hille’s hand, dug my fingernails into it and threatened, “If I die, you’re so coming with me.”