Just For You (19 page)

Well, he figured, she had the right to be stunned. She was probably wondering how many beers he'd had that night at the karaoke bar.

"Thank you, I guess." The words were anticlimactic and they rang noisily in the silence which shrouded them. Cameron cringed as soon as he said them. Imogen looked down to hide her smile. She didn't need to hear any explanation from him but he gave it to her anyway. "You know, for today. For this entire weekend. I'm actually… I'm glad I brought you along. I don't know if I'd have left this place sane if you hadn't come with me."

Her smile grew wider and she ducked her head lower.

Cameron blinked, wishing she would look up at him. It was hard for him to guess how well he was doing here. Was he floundering? Had kissing her cheek been a mistake? And now he was ruining everything even more by gabbing on and on like he was some nervous schoolboy. Or was he not saying enough? Did she want him to kiss her again? Somewhere different?

In a split second a thousand images ran through Cameron's mind like a movie reel. His mouth was upon hers, pliant and ready. His hands were around her face. He was stripping her of her clothing, quickly and then slowly, moving over her on the bed…

He shook his head and looked at her with shock in his wide eyes.

Finally, Imogen lifted her chin and looked at him. She smiled. "You're welcome." Her voice was barely above a whisper. "Look, I'm sorry for what I said when we first met, about your not growing up in a happy home. It was wrong of me to say and I only said it out of irritation. After getting to know them it's plain to see just how off the mark I was."

Cameron nodded.

"Your family loves you very much, and I know, even if you'll never admit it to anyone, that deep down, you love them too. Families embarrass each other, Cameron. It's part of the territory. It's okay to vent about it, but you can't hold it in for your entire life."

It was Cameron's turn to let his head drop. No, she didn't want anything else; he had gotten away with one kiss on the cheek but nothing more. Thick hair fell into his eyes and the edges of his mouth tipped into a slight smile. He nodded. "I know that. Now."

Imogen's smile broadened. "Goodnight, Cameron. I'll see you in the morning."

"Goodnight, Imogen."

She wiggled her fingers at him before retreating into her room. The heavy sound of the door closing echoed in the long hallway, and as Cameron headed toward Alex's room he couldn't stop thinking about how his lips still burned from that kiss.

His situation was worse than he ever imagined.

Chapter Ten

Come Slowly To Me

The light was on in Alex's room and Cameron could see it from under the door. Good, he was still awake.

He knocked lightly and Alex's voice, muffled by barriers of wall and door, gave him permission to come in. Cameron licked his lips as he did so, spotting Alex on his bed, sitting cross-legged and surrounded by a myriad of art pieces.

"Whatchya doing?"

Alex didn't look up at his brother. Instead, his fingers lingered over the matted pieces in front of him. His eyes were dark and intense as he studied them, moving them around with deft movements every once in a while.

Cameron settled himself at the edge of the bed, his arms crossed over his chest.

Alex heaved a sigh. "Nothing important. My art teacher asked me to put together a bit of a gallery for the end of the year show. It's not for a couple of months but I'm worried about it." He took his bottom lip between his teeth, gnawing absentmindedly.

"I'm really proud of you, you know."

Alex stopped and looked up. The left side of Cameron's mouth was tipped up in a smile. "Thanks."

"You have more courage in your pinky finger than I have in my entire body, you know that? This… all of this," Cameron swept his arm over the bed. "It's amazing, and it's what you love to do. And you're good at it."

"Eh," Alex shrugged. "It's nothing."

It wasn't nothing. Truth be told, Cameron was envious of his brother. Alex might have been nine years younger, but he certainly was a lot smarter and less prone to caving under pressure than Cameron had ever been. When Cameron was in his place, he caved to everything his parents wanted him to do. He entered college a music major and graduated four years later with a business degree.

That was the way things were in his family, or so he thought. It wasn't up to you to decide what you were going to do for the rest of your life. No, you did what was best, what was practical, what everyone else wanted you to do.

The second semester of his freshman year was when he switched majors, trading in his music theory classes and his rehearsal time for classes in economics, psychology, and business stratagems. What did he get out of that? Nothing more than a crappy job at a bank. He figured he was just destined to hate his life, to hate his job, and to resent his parents, but sitting there in that room with his younger brother, on the cusp of adulthood but with so much youthfulness running through his every fiber, made him realize that there might have been pressure but never an ultimatum. Cameron made his mistakes and learned the hard way. It was up to him to make sure Alex didn't do the same.

"Is this what you want to do when you 'grow up'?" He air-quoted.

Alex swallowed and then nodded. "Well, yeah. I like doing it. It doesn't feel like work most of the time. I'm just scared."

"Of what?"

"Just… you know. I'm afraid that once I go to college, it won't be fun anymore. I'll have to do art. It won't be natural. And then, say I survive and I get my degree and I still love drawing. What am I supposed to do when I don't make any money?"

"You can't be worried about that. Money's no reason to do or not to do something, Alex."

"Yes, it is. It's every reason. I can't expect to live with Mom and Dad for the rest of my life."

"You wouldn't have to. You have me and Bobby to go to if you ever need us."

Alex scoffed, moving a painting of a flower next to a cityscape. The bright colors of the flower contrasted nicely with the grayscale of the night city.

"Bobby and Sarah have a family to worry about."

"I don't," Cameron shrugged.

Alex looked at him pointedly. "You can't say with any certainty that in six or so years down the road you won't."

Cameron laughed. "I'm not exactly the marrying type." He picked up a drawing of a little girl and her mother by a lake. "This is good, Alex."

"Thanks." Alex snatched the portrait and put it back in its place. "Sorry, I'm just trying to figure out the order here."

Silence fell over them and Cameron watched Alex work. He was so absorbed, it was as if Cameron disappeared completely. He was about to say goodnight when Alex, not making any gesture which acknowledged his brother, spoke.

"I wouldn't say you're not the marrying type. Imogen seems to like you."

At the mere mention of her name, Cameron felt his throat constrict and his mouth go dry, as if it were a well which had suddenly gone empty. He had to swallow a few times before he could speak, his voice scratchy when he finally did. "What?"

"What's the deal with you two anyway? You never bring girls over."

Cameron's mind screamed at him. He closed his eyes, focusing on silencing the babble. "Uh… she sort of imposed. No, Mom invited her. I--- she wanted to come along."

"Okay."

The word was neutral in tone, but Cameron knew better. It wasn't just
okay
, it was
okay, I know you don't want to tell me, so I'll play along
.

"I like her, though. She's nice, I think. She wanted to buy an art piece from me," Alex smiled. "I thought it was generous of her to offer but I couldn't afford to get rid of anything just yet, what with this gallery and all. You know what she did? She put in a request for me. She said she was going to give me $25 if I drew her a portrait, but I'm just going to give it to her for free."

"She did that?" Cameron licked his lips. They dried in seconds. It felt hot and stuffy in the room all of a sudden.

"Yeah, she did. She offered to be my prom date, too, if Katie turns me down."

He realized he had no idea who this Katie was and something akin to jealousy flamed up in the pit of his stomach. Imogen knew more about his brother than he did.

Cameron was in a lot of trouble. Imogen had come into his life and taken such an active interest in not only him, but also in everyone around him. No one he met ever took the time to do that, except for Charlotte, whom he didn't allow to get too close to his family out of embarrassment, and Todd, who only knew his family because he grew up with them, too.

Humankind really did astound him at times. Compared to Imogen he was petty and small and selfish. No way could he measure up to that.

He put his hand on Alex's shoulder and squeezed, just to remind him that Cameron was still human. "She won't turn you down, I promise. Whatever Imogen told you to do is good advice. She knows what she's talking about."

"She told me to go to Katie's house with a boombox over my head. Something about always making a grand gesture."

Cameron couldn't help but laugh. "Those usually do it. It's prom, why not go out of your way?" He patted the bed as he stood up. Suddenly he became so tired; his body felt as if it were made of lead. "I'll see you in the morning, bud. Don't fret over this too much, you know." He pointed toward the line up of art on the bed. "It looks better when it's whimsical. Let the chips fall where they may."

Alex nodded, looking up at his older brother for the first time in minutes. "It was nice seeing you this weekend. It's pretty terrible around here without you. No one tells me to just be myself anymore. Mom and Dad are always working."

Cameron gulped. Sorrow filled his entire being and internally he tore himself apart for leaving his brother. His avoidance of his parents was egocentric because he left behind someone he actually did care about. He was sorry for staying away so long.

"Tell you what," he sighed the words, his breath came out in such a gush. "This summer you can come out and spend some time with me in the city. I'll take a whole week off work if that's what you want. We'll catch a baseball game or something."

Alex smiled. "That sounds awesome. Already looking forward to it."

"You let me know when your art show is. I'm going to this next one. I expect a phone call or an invitation at the very least."

Alex laughed. "Whatever. Sure. It's not going to be anything too special."

Cameron smiled, grabbed Alex around the neck with his arm, and with his opposite fist, dug into the top of Alex's head. "Sure it is. See you around, Picasso."

"Hey," Alex said. His hair mussed and poking out from his head, and he held one hand out toward the door, as if he were physically stopping Cameron with some sort of superhuman power. "Remember that thing about big gestures. I have a feeling I'm not the only one in need of a little advice."

Cameron's heart flew up to the back of his throat. "Yeah. I'll remember that."

Damn it. Sometimes the kid was too smart for his own good.

Sleep was the only thing on Cameron's mind as he walked down the hall. When he passed Imogen's bedroom, the door flew open. He and Imogen jumped, he at the sudden movement, and Imogen with the astonishment of seeing someone there when she expected no one.

Her hand flew to the hollow of her throat. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, while Cameron cursed and ran a hand over his temple.