Just Enough Light (17 page)

“What’s Kellen doing?”

“Her first responsibility is for the safety of all field personnel, so she’s assessing the risk of additional avalanches,” Tim explained as he helped her take her avalanche beacon and probe from her backpack. “But she’s also looking for any distinguishable tracks entering or exiting the slide area. Or any clues lying on top of the debris. Anything she didn’t see when she and Sam did their flyover.”

Moments later, Kellen worked her way down to them, quickly organizing, instructing, and dispatching groups of searchers, before stopping in front of Liz and Dana.

“Hey, thanks for coming out to help.” Kellen cocked her head ever so slightly toward the avalanche field. “Are you ready for this?”

Kellen felt inordinately pleased when Dana answered, “Just tell us what you want us to do.”

“According to the witness, some of the kids had beacons, so you’re going to be looking for a signal indicating the rough position of a victim. If you hold your avalanche beacon like a compass, flat and straight out in front of you, it will give you both an idea of direction and distance to the beacon you’re searching for.” Kellen quickly demonstrated. “If you find someone, put your probe in to mark the position.”

“What do we do if we find someone?” Liz asked.

“Call out on your radio then start to dig. Rather than going straight down on top of the victim, move slightly downhill and dig in horizontally to them. That way, you won’t collapse any airspace they may have or cause snow to topple into a vertical hole on top of them. Once you’ve extricated them, you’ll need to quickly check the victim for clogged airways and any life-threatening injuries.” She stopped as she realized who she was talking to. “Sorry. Force of habit.”

Dana and Liz both laughed. “No worries. How long do you think this will take?”

“Minutes. Hours. Days. Searches can go any which way. There’s no predicting.” Kellen shrugged. Beside her, Bogart started to whine with apparent impatience.

“Looks like someone wants you to get going.”

Kellen nodded. “He knows he’s here to work. He’s trained to find human scent coming up from the snowpack and he’ll search until he finds where that scent’s coming up. He’ll alert, then start digging where that scent’s the strongest.” She paused for an instant. “Stay sharp. I’ve posted a lookout for any secondary slides, but that doesn’t mean you can take any unnecessary chances. And above all, don’t make me have to look for you. Okay?”

Kellen walked away, aware both Dana and Liz were watching her. Beside her, Bogart barked, quivering with anticipation. “Okay, boy, ready? Let’s search.”

Bogart took off in the direction Kellen had indicated, while she followed more slowly.

The first victim was quickly found. Kellen started to dig him out, which was not easy as the snow around him was extremely hard and packed in. Others arrived to help, and before long, they uncovered a boy, maybe sixteen. He was shaking and scared, but able to communicate.

While she checked him over, he told her he thought there were two others close to him. “And I think there are a couple of others downslope from me. At least, that’s where they were the last time I saw them.”

A group of searchers, including Dana and Liz, immediately broke off and began to dig where the boy indicated, while Kellen and Bogart resumed the search for other victims. But it was not an easy task.

With time, they discovered two more victims, far apart and buried very deep in the snowpack. As luck would have it, they’d gotten tangled in debris from trees caught by the slide, which had created air pockets and enabled them to survive. But both were bleeding and had suffered a number of broken bones. And one complained of acute abdominal pain, suggesting internal damage as well.

Kellen sent Liz back to the clinic with the three wounded to oversee their transfer to a hospital in Denver. She would have preferred to send Dana, who was looking pale and tired. But as long as hope remained, any additional survivors would need the most experienced medical team she could provide.

Four hours later, the original group of searchers were cold, aching, and fatigued. Kellen knew she should have called off the search until morning. But no one wanted to stop. Not with two kids still missing.

Thankfully, they’d been joined by a group of fresh volunteers. Townspeople. Friends of the missing boys. They distributed hot coffee, listened as Kellen directed them by the glow of Maglites, then everyone silently pitched in.

Hope springs eternal
. But it was still too late. Kellen knew in her heart that it had taken too long. Slowly and without formality, the focus of the searchers shifted from rescue mode to recovery until the final two victims were found. Unresponsive. Not breathing, no pulse. And nothing anyone could do would change the outcome.

Dejected, physically hurting, and tired, Kellen hung her head for a moment, trying to catch her breath, while Bogart leaned against her leg. Arms wrapped around her from behind. “Kellen, don’t,” Dana murmured.

She turned but stayed in Dana’s arms. “Don’t what?”

“Don’t play what-if.
What if
you’d gotten to this spot sooner?
What if
these boys hadn’t decided to high-mark? Everyone did their best. That’s all anyone can ask. And as a doctor, I can tell you it wouldn’t have made a difference if we had found those boys five hours ago. Not with the injuries they suffered.”

“You’re right, of course. Hell, that’s the speech I give to searchers every time out. But it’s still hard. And they were just kids.” Kellen released a sigh. “How are you holding up?”

Dana laughed. “I could use a three-hour massage. Didn’t you once promise to give me an awesome rubdown?”

Kellen tried to clench her raw hands and couldn’t. “Damn. Would you take a rain check?”

“What the hell did you do to your hands?”

“I went through two pairs of gloves.” Kellen grinned weakly. “Turns out I didn’t have a third pair.”

*

Too tired to think of food, Dana stood in the shower for a long time, then dressed in pajama bottoms and a T-shirt, lit a fire, and collapsed on her sofa. She welcomed the warmth from the bright flames, loved how the smoke scented the air. Half dozing, she was giving consideration to warming up a can of soup when she heard a soft knock on her door, followed by a sharp bark.

Smiling, she opened the door. Bogart bounded in and settled in front of the fireplace, leaving Cody, Ren, and Kellen at the door. The two girls held covered trays that smelled suspiciously familiar and wonderful, while Kellen held a large thermos in freshly bandaged hands.

“Sorry about Bogart. Some days he has no manners,” Kellen murmured.

“Not a problem. Come on in,” Dana said. “How did you know I was just thinking of food?”

“You’re as bad as this one,” Ren said indicating Kellen. “Thinking about food doesn’t make it magically appear.”

“Sure it does,” Dana fired back. “You’re here with food, aren’t you?”

Kellen laughed. “Don’t bother trying to argue, Ren. She’s got you beat.”

Ren grinned good-naturedly. “Okay. Cody and I have tomato soup and grilled cheese sandwiches. Kel has a thermos of brew.”

“She means coffee,” Kellen translated in response to Dana’s questioning look.

“Brew. Coffee. Makes perfect sense to me.”

While the girls uncovered the trays and filled cups with coffee, Dana watched the firelight playing on Kellen’s face. For some reason, tired and relaxed, wearing well-worn jeans and a black turtleneck, Kellen had never looked as breathtakingly beautiful. It made Dana wish they were alone, and for an instant, she imagined taking her mouth in a long, slow, leisurely kiss she would feel all the way to her soul.

Sighing, she moved away. “Let’s eat.”

*

Memory hit clear and fast, and fear rushed back in. She was twelve. Sitting in a sun-drenched living room, listening to birdsong coming from a tree just outside the window.

A man entered the room. Tall, broad-shouldered. Handsome. Striding toward her, calling out her name.

The sun momentarily blinded her, but she knew who he was. Her father. She felt his seething rage—and something else that made her instinctively afraid. He was muttering to himself. Saying things. Things she didn’t understand.

An instant later, it no longer mattered. She tasted blood from her freshly split lip as he struck her, knocking her to the floor. She felt him tear at her clothes and kick her legs apart. Felt the pain as it exploded through her body.
No.
She screamed and tried to twist away. Panic gripped her throat and she fought, striking out with legs and arms. Her lungs tight, she tried to breathe. But it was hopeless.

Kellen jolted, instantly awake. Her breathing was hard and fast and her heart was pounding, but the images from the dream were already muddled and blurred.

Her sight clear of the fear that still jittered at the edges of her mind, she looked around, confused that she wasn’t in her bed. Or even in her own cabin. It took a moment longer for her to recognize she was on Dana’s sofa, wrapped in a blanket that held the clean, fresh, and tantalizing essence she thought of as uniquely Dana. And that Bogart’s cold wet nose was nuzzling her neck.

She reached and stroked him, puzzled for a moment by the bandages on her hand, then remembered the painful search for the missing boys. Seven of nine was better than they’d had any right to expect. Or hope. But she was sad for the families of the two who would never return. A fatigue, heavy and deep, settled to the depths of her soul.

Wrapping the blanket around her shoulders for warmth, she went to the door and opened it. Beyond the front steps, the snow-covered trees looked more blue than white, while stars filled the sky. It was peaceful. Beautiful. The remnants of her nightmare receded. And when she felt the press of a soft feminine body against her back, the perfect scene was complete.

“How come you’re up? Did you have another nightmare?”

Turning slowly, Kellen lifted the blanket until Dana was under it with her, sharing their combined warmth. “How is it you’ve known me for such a short time and yet you know me so well?”

“Does it bother you that I do?”

“I’ve no frame of reference for it, but…no. I don’t think so.”

“Good.”

Stepping back inside, Kellen shut the door. “When I awoke, I found myself on your sofa with no memory of how I ended up there.”

Dana laughed softly. “You and the girls brought dinner over. I don’t think you managed more than two spoonfuls of soup before you fell asleep.”

Kellen felt her face heat. “I’m sorry. I can’t believe I did that.”

“There’s nothing to apologize for. You were exhausted. You slept while the girls and I ate, cleaned up, and took Bogart out. When we came back, you were still dead to the world, so we covered you in a blanket, the girls went back to their cabin, and I went to bed.”

“I’m still—”

Dana pressed her fingers against Kellen’s lips. “Don’t, Kellen. You did nothing wrong. You were tired. You’re still tired unless my eyes are deceiving me. And so am I. So why don’t we just go back to bed. Anything that needs to be said can wait until morning. All right?”

Kellen nodded and slowly moved toward the sofa, only to be stopped by Dana. “What’s wrong?”

“I said bed, Kellen. Let’s go to bed.” Dana reached up and cupped her cheek. “You’re too tired and so am I. But I want you in my bed. And I believe you’ll find your dog’s already there. Nothing’s going to happen tonight, if that’s what worries you.”

“Sorry about Bogart.” Kellen laughed softly. “And for the record, it doesn’t worry me.”

Late into the night, Dana gazed at the hollows and angles of Kellen’s face. Long after she’d mumbled that she didn’t want to dream anymore, she’d fallen asleep beside her. Facedown in an exhausted, limp sprawl.

“No more dreams tonight,” Dana murmured. “Tell me what to do. Tell me what you need.”

Kellen hadn’t stirred. But at least her mind seemed quiet. For the moment, not troubled by whatever dreams and memories seemed to plague her. Dana took some satisfaction in that, as she closed the distance between them and drifted off to sleep.

But in the hazy light of morning, Dana awoke alone. The thought bothered her more than it should have as she breathed in Kellen’s lingering scent. The bedding was cool to the touch, telling her she’d been gone for some time. With the memory of Kellen’s scent still filling her mind, Dana got up, made the bed, and headed for the shower.

When she returned to the bedroom, however, it was to a different scent—freshly brewed coffee. She smiled as she spotted Kellen by her bed, having just poured some into a mug. And the steam rising smelled like heaven.

“Sorry. I guess I took too long feeding Bogart and taking him for a quick run. I’d hoped to find you still in bed, where you could enjoy coffee and this.” She sounded apologetic as she pointed to a fat copy of the
New York Times
on the bed. “I’m not scheduled to work until this afternoon, and it’s one of my favorite ways to spend a lazy morning.”

“That would have been nice.” Her stomach fluttered at the image Kellen’s comment evoked, but she ignored it. “Since the bed’s already made, why don’t we light a fire and enjoy the
Times
and coffee on the sofa? We can split sections then share the crossword. And I can toast some bagels if you’re hungry.”

It pleased Dana to see Kellen’s quick, amused agreement.

As they took opposite ends of the sofa with the paper spread out between them, she noticed Kellen’s hands were still bandaged, but she was using them more freely. “Your hands seem better this morning. Do you want me to take a look?”

Quickly taking inventory for herself, Kellen shook her head. “No need. They’ll be fine by tomorrow.”

“Kellen—”

“Seriously, Doc.” Kellen moved fingers and clenched her hands. “It all works. I’m using a salve that’s got to be the best first-aid remedy I know. I learned how to make it from a Lakota healer I met when I was still living on the street. I’ve been using it ever since and I swear by it. So do the girls.”

“You make it yourself?” Dana frowned. “What’s in it?”