Just Breathe Trilogy Box Set (5 page)

Even fast asleep surround by the two most important people in my life, the only two people I really trust and feel safe with, I wake after having the nightmare of my parents death. Thankfully, I don’t wake screaming. I don’t know if the accident really occurred the way that I dream it, but because of it’s timeless unchanging depiction, I fear that it did.

I roll slowly to check my phone that sits on the nightstand, careful not to rouse Jared or Maggie. Right on schedule. Only five hours of sleep as always. Sadie and I exchange glances before getting out of bed. I change into my workout clothes, feed Sadie, have my morning clay water, and then we make our way off to the park.

I check on Jared and Maggie when Sadie and I return. They’re still resting peacefully. Sticking with my morning workout routine, I hit the rebounder that sits in the office as Sadie watches. Today, I close the door to minimize the sound from disrupting the sleeping beauties in my bed, and I also strap my phone to my arm to listen to music through headphones. About an hour later, my stomach begins to grumble as my energy level starts to feel depleted. As I stretch, Sadie takes her turn on the rebounder. She mostly just lays on it, but the thought of getting her on a larger trampoline and what she would do humors me. Looks like my turn around from the nightmare is even faster.

I still can’t make my smoothie without waking the maidens in my room, so I settle for some fruit, raw yogurt and mix my power greens powder into coconut milk to tide me over until I finish showering. Letting my hair air dry, I put on sweats to wear until its time to leave. No need risking getting dirty the cute outfit I picked out for the day as I make breakfast for everyone. I do have an apron, but I always manage to get food on myself somewhere.

It’s after six thirty now and Maggie and Jared are going to need to get up soon, so I start making a little noise in the kitchen as I prepare breakfast. I make a lot of food for us knowing that it’s going to be a long, but fun day. I set out some smoked salmon, bagels, cream cheese, cut up some apples, pears and kiwi and put them onto a plate along with dried cranberries, dried mango and nuts. I add in two times as many ingredients in my blender for a smoothie, enough to be about eight ounces for each of us. Last, I get some free range turkey bacon cooking as I put some fresh, homemade cinnamon toast slices in the broiler that will be topped with some non-pasteurized butter. Just before hitting the on button for the blender, I tell Sadie to go wake up Jared and Maggie. Seconds later, I hear them grumbling.

“Mom. I don’t want to go to school today,” Jared whines, trying to be cute.

“Happy New Year!” I shout from the kitchen.

Both of them stroll in with their hair tossed a mess and rubbing their eyes.

“Ooo, Mom made us food!” Jared sings.

I give him a playful glare and smile.

“I don’t know why you won’t date, Emma. You’d be a great mom,” Maggie claims.

I choose not to respond and just ignore her statement. Jared and Maggie watch closely for my reaction, but I refuse to give them the satisfaction.

I know that Maggie just wants me to be happy, and because she will be happy being married with kids of her own, I think she believes that I would be too if I’d just give it a try.

I don’t date. I’ve never dated and that’s by choice. I’m not a virgin by far. I’ve had a number of men that I’ve slept with. Okay — I’ve slept with a lot of men, but I don’t do relationships. I simply use men for sex. A girl has needs too.

I won’t sleep with just any guy, I have certain criteria that need to be met before a man is even considered. For starters, it has to be a man that I don’t know. I’m not into the whole one night stand thing, though a few of them turned out fine, however, I’m not interested in knowing a guy too well. I like my privacy and my distance. Guys have to be more like an acquaintance of a friends’ acquaintance so I have little to no interaction with them once I’ve had my fill. He needs to be handsome — attractive. I need to be physically turned on by the man enough, but how he speaks plays a huge roll. I’ve slept with some dumb ones, the male model type who have braun, but barely any brains. They are the easiest to lie to about what I do and where I live, but they are the ones who usually get attached the quickest, so I’m only able to use them about three or four times maximum. I stay away from the jock brains or the jocks with too much muscle that they can barely move — their type just doesn’t do it for me. I’ve slept with a few cute geeky guys, but I like men with more meat on their bones. A physically fit man has a bit more stamina. I tend to sway towards the average guy. The type that are easy on the eyes, decent build, and who usually get overlooked at first glance by most women. The only challenge with them is that they have a tendency to want a relationship too, like the models, but the average men last about two to three times longer.

There are also edicts that I’ve established for myself to minimize any casualties. I have several golden rules that I haven’t swayed from since I started sleeping with men. One, no dating or going out on dates. Two, never let them know where I live. Lie if I must. Three, never pick up a guy in a particular social setting where I may frequently attend. Or, never sleep with a guy whom I have the chance to run into on a regular basis. Four, never have a guy over to my place for any reason. Jared is the only exception — and maybe a few of his gay friends, but they don’t count. Five, end things before they start to want more. Six, always use protection. Seven, never sleep over at their place. Once we’ve finished, I get dressed and leave. This usually shocks them. I guess I act more like a guy than they expect. Eight, always have more than one exit strategy.

“What time does Mŭqīn need us today?” I ask, chewing on some fruit.

“She needs us around nine,” Maggie confirms as she stuffs a huge bite of her bagel topped with cream cheese and salmon into her mouth.

“Good. Then we’ve got enough time for you two to get ready and head down on the train without rushing,” I say to keep them focused on some semblance of a schedule. I gulp down my smoothie.

“What time are we supposed to meet
Romeo
?” Jared harangues Maggie while taking a few bites of turkey bacon.

Maggie looks at him with her eyes squinting a little and her mouth scrunched to one side in what appears to be her contemplating how to respond, “Twelve-thirty.”

She tries so hard to appear angry, but Maggie has never really done angry well. Actually, I’ve never really seen her angry.

Jared and I chuckle a little.

“I hope you aren’t going to wear sweats today, Emma,” Maggie says, trying to change the subject.

“No. Of course not. I planned on changing after we had breakfast. Besides, I can dress however I want. I’m not the one meeting . . .” I attempt to pick on her too, but I fall short of calling Henry
Romeo
.

“Ha ha . . . very funny,” Maggie tries to shrug off my lightheartedness while still trying to be offended when Jared snickers.

“What did you bring to put on?” I question to ease her nerves.

“I know it will be cool, yet warmer than usual, so I brought a cute new red dress. Amy helped me pick it out.” Maggie’s excitement is returning. “What are you wearing?”

“I’ve got a red, silk, long sleeve, fitted blouse and jeans that I was going to wear with those red velvet flats I bought when we went to the outlets a few weeks ago,” I reply.

“Are you going to wear those new ruby studs you got too?” Jared questions.

“Yep. That’s why I got them,” I answer.

“When did you get ruby studs?” Maggie asks.

“When Jared was here last week going over the Naturally Me schedule. We did a little shopping afterward to celebrate the pet division,” I explain.

“That’s right. I remember you telling me,” she recollects.

“How about you, Jared?” Maggie inquires. “What are you wearing?”

“I’m keeping it simple this year. Just a new red long sleeve henley shirt with jeans and my brown slip-on dress shoes. I felt like going relaxed this year,” Jared responds.

Red is a symbolic color in the Chinese tradition. It’s a color of luck which is why each one of us is wearing it in one form or another for the day.

“Well, one of you needs to get into the shower,” I interject after checking the time.

“Yes, Mom,” they say simultaneously.

They help me put away any food we didn’t eat and rinse the dishes before putting them into the dishwasher.

Jared lets Maggie shower first since his hair doesn’t take as long to dry. I bounce back and forth from my bedroom to the bathroom getting dressed and fixing my hair and make-up while Maggie showers. Jared sits on my bed updating me on the latest news of his fans reactions from the past week. Once Maggie is done in the shower, she leaves the water running so Jared can hop in. We feel completely comfortable being naked around each other. Jared’s gay, so there’s no weirdness there. He admires the female body, but has never been turned on by it. Women like Maggie and me have no challenge being naked in front of each other for a variety of reasons.

Once we’re done getting ready, I grab Sadie’s dog bag that is full of some of her basics; dog bowls, biodegradable relief bags, snacks and some toys. Mŭqīn has plenty of food in the kitchen, so I don’t need to pack Sadie anything. We head down to the train platform that is in the middle of my apartment complex and jump on the next train heading South. A few stops later we’re in Chinatown.

Before leaving with Maggie to meet up with Henry, the three of us gather with Maggie’s family; Nǎinai, Mŭqīn, Fŭqīn, Maggie’s dad, Fŭqīn’s brother and Amy’s parents Jie and Jiao, Amy, Jet and Eric, Eric’s parents P’eng and Xiu, Eric’s older sister Kim, Kim’s husband Peter and their two children Jade and Rey.

The children are given their Lai See first. Lai See, which means Good Luck, is a Chinese tradition which involves giving money in red envelopes from the senior members of the family to the junior members. Pretty much, married couples give Lai See to unmarried relatives, friends and colleagues. All three children, Jet, Rey and Jade receive Lai See. This is one of my favorite traditions, not for receiving any money, but because I can give the children a substantial amount of money each year for their future. The whole family says I always go a little overboard, but the Li family has given me so much, more than money can buy.

Nǎinai says several prayers welcoming in the new year, followed by specific and special blessings for each of us. When Nǎinai gets to Jared she bestows upon him happiness and love, but specifies love for Jared in the same sex realm of things. Mŭqīn and Fŭqīn shake their heads disapprovingly at Nǎinai’s little show, but don’t say a word. The whole family knows Jared is gay. They don’t judge him and have considered him a son because of the friendship he has with Maggie and the rest of the family. I think Nǎinai was just making sure that everyone was paying attention to her. Then, Nǎinai turns to Maggie and bestows her with happiness, love and marriage and outwardly states that the family would be grateful if it is with Henry. Mŭqīn mutters under her breath. Fŭqīn chooses to just ignore her. Then, Nǎinai gets to me. She wishes for me to find full happiness and love, not just with the family that sits around me, but with my own family — a loving husband and children. She emphasizes the words
husband
and
children
. My eyes are as wide as they can get as I’m mortified and distressed at her proclamation. She’s blessed me to be happy and to find love, but she’s never specifically uttered the words
husband
or
children
before. She gives me a kiss on the top of my head as her hands hold me on either side over my ears.

“Looks like love is coming your way too, Emma,” nudges Jared.

We know that Nǎinai is never wrong with her blessings.

“Not funny, Jared,” I mutter under my breath while looking down at the floor.

“Maybe Henry has a cute friend. Wouldn’t that be funny!” Jared announces, getting louder for the whole family to hear.

“Oh, that would be so much fun! We could date together! There were a few times he came into the restaurant with a friend or colleague,” Maggie shouts with excitement.

Nǎinai smiles at me, pleased with herself. All I can do is purse my lips to stifle any kind of a reaction or response. Jet, who was playing on the ground with Sadie, suddenly decides to try to pull himself up using my pant leg. He is a much-welcomed distraction and aids in easing me out of the embarrassment I feel.

Unfortunately, Nǎinai decides to use Jet as confirmation for her blessing, “See how Jet is with you and you with Jet. You’re a natural.”

Jared and Maggie crack up at Nǎinai’s continuation.

Fŭqīn scolds Nǎinai in my defense, “Leave Emma be.”

Fŭqīn rarely intervenes and I nod my appreciation.

“Oh, Emma knows I’m just playing. Right, Emma . . .” Nǎinai retorts a little too proud of herself.

“Sure,” I calmly reply back as my focus turns back to Jet who is sitting on my lap and playing with a strand of my dirty blond hair as he tries to reach for the red sparkling studs in my ear lobes.

Conversations continue as Jade and Rey play on the floor with Sadie until lunch which we eat earlier to make it to our seats for the parade. While we eat, Nǎinai is talking the entire time with food in her mouth, and I watch in amusement at everyone's interactions. Maggie is picking at her food more than really eating it. She’s clearly nervous and anxious about meeting up with Henry. I hope he’s not like the other guys she’s dated before. I don’t want to be pessimistic. I really just want her to be happy. Maggie falls in love easily, a little too quickly, only to be dumped after a few months. She recovers pretty quickly, but heartbreak is painful none the less.

Maggie taps her watch discreetly at me to indicate that we need to get to the library to meet Henry.

Nǎinai catches Maggie out of the corner of her eye and blurts, “Are you running late for a date, Maggie?”