Just A Woman (The Porter Trilogy Book 2) (16 page)

With her eyes still closed, she reached around for the supplied loofah and body wash, turned in my arms, and held them out for me.

“Only if I can wash you after,” she smirked, wickedness gleaming her in twinkling emeralds.

“Deal,” I said, anticipating the pleasure of her small hands working the bubbles around my chest, my back, and my already swollen cock. It had been less than fifteen minutes and I was ready to go again. I pictured bending her over right here in the shower and pounding into her while her hands tried to find purchase on the granite walls.

The pain of being this hard was debilitating, but I promised to wash Charlotte, so I took the sponge and poured the liquid soap onto it, lathering it in my hands. Just as I prepared to start soaping Charlotte, she surprised me by grabbing onto my rock hard length and lightly squeezing, lightly dragging her fingernails up and down, slowly, leisurely.

“Charlotte, what are you doing?” I groaned out, loving the feeling of me in her hands.

“I’m saying thank you for an amazing evening, I know it was you who made sure I won that spa day,” she whispered, still stroking me.

“You don’t have to do that, Charlotte. I would do anything for you,” I muttered, barely able to form complete sentences with the ministrations she was showing my cock.

“Oh, Mr. Porter. I tried to say thank you, but you stopped me earlier.” she teased.

Just like before, I found myself standing in front of a kneeling Charlotte as she took me, in my entirety, into her waiting mouth. Dropping the loofah, my hands reached out to grip the walls of the stall and hold on for the ride. I knew it was going to be quick, I could feel my hips taking control and pumping into her willing channel. I always seemed to lose control when she was around. It was some sort of spell she put on me, I was sure of it.

When I felt her choke slightly, I pulled back, not willing to let her gag. But she reached up and grabbed me, forcing me forward so she could finish the job.

“Shit, Charlie, you’re going to unman me,” I sputtered.

The hum of approval she made vibrated around my shaft and through my balls, travelling up through my body, causing me to gyrate my hips into her farther. She didn’t seem to mind as I lost all control and fucked her mouth with wild abandon. With a few flicks of her wrists, and her hand cradling my balls, I found myself cumming down her throat, unable to even warn her I had been so close. The feeling was extraordinary, like nothing I’d ever felt before. I felt my knees wobble and almost betray me by giving out and crumpling me to the floor, but by some miracle, I hung on to my composure and remained upright, panting along the way, stars twinkling before my eyes.

When I looked down, I watched as she stood up and placed a gentle kiss on my mouth. “Thank you,” she said, before she leaned over, grabbing the fallen sponge, re-lathering it, and handing it back to me.

I couldn’t speak. I had no vocabulary. What else could I say to the person who had just blown my mind into a million pieces. I tried opening my mouth several times and found myself coming up short.
Pull it together, Porter.
So, instead, I spoke with my actions. I washed every inch of her, from her delectable neck down to her dainty toes. After she was good and sudsy, I removed the shower head from the holder and began rinsing her, stopping after each rinsed spot to flutter kisses across the cleaned area.

We sat in the shower for close to an hour, planting kisses on each other and washing away the chocolate, and our lovemaking, and for the first time in years, I felt a sense of peace settle within my chest. I felt like things were finally right in my world.

When we finally emerged from the shower and towel dried each other off, not willing to stop touching each other, I carried her back into the bedroom and placed her on the couch next to the bed. I went to step away and stopped her protest with a hand.

“I’m just going to clean up the bed, and then, we can sit and talk.”

She nodded at me, not saying anything else. She had been quiet ever since I had told her I loved her, minus the few words she spoke in the shower. To say I was nervous about our chat was an understatement, but we needed to get it out of the way. In order to move forward, we needed to scale and tear down this fucked up beyond all reason wall that had been built between us.

Once the towels were taken care of, safely stashed away in the bathroom where very unsuspecting maids would find them tomorrow, I walked back over to her and sat down on the couch. I was close to her, but not quite touching. If I started touching her now, I wouldn’t stop long enough to get this over with, and for the sake of my own sanity, I needed this to be over with.

Several long, tense minutes passed and neither of us had said anything. I wasn’t sure where to start. I had told her multiple times that I was sorry, and I’d say it a hundred more if it meant she’d take me back. Maybe that was what I needed to do? I was so fucking clueless when it came to women most of the time, this being no different.

“Alex, I--”

“Charlotte, I’m--”

We both laughed nervously when our words clashed.

“Go ahead, Alex,” she motioned, with her hands to me.

“Charlotte,” I sighed, running my hands through my still damp hair. “I can’t begin to tell you how sorry I am for everything. I had no right to keep silent when I knew what you had gone through and I should have told you that I had been there that night.”

“I need you to know that I never meant to hurt you, and I know it might take a long time to regain and re-earn your trust, but I will spend my entire life trying to make it up to you. I’m not good with these frilly words, but I just, I just fucking love you and I’m so damn sorry.”

I looked up at her to gauge her reaction. She seemed lost in thought, processing my words and my apology. Her facial expression gave nothing away and I found myself growing impatient and irritated with the silence. When she finally did respond, I let out a breath I hadn’t known I had been holding.

“You’re right, Alex,” she finally said, back straighter, confidence oozing from her stature. “It will take you a while to regain my trust, but I need you to know, you have always, and will always carry my love with you. I just need you to stop hiding things from me,”  the last bit a whisper.

“I understand,” I said, gripping her chin and tilting her head up to look at me. “All I have wanted these past few weeks was to make you happy and to see you smile, and when you walked into the office with your roses, and I saw the smile on your face, I knew I could do that for you. I knew I wanted to do that for you every day.”

As soon as the words were out of my mouth, I knew I had made a huge blunder. She had no idea I had been watching her through her work cameras every chance I could. When the realization of my words dawned on her face and her eyebrows scrunched together, I knew immediately what she was going to ask.
Way to go, Porter, you idiot.

“What do you mean when you
saw
my smiles. How did you see my smiles at my office, Alex?” She asked, the tone of her voice rising with every few words, confusion and irritation lining the simple question.

My mind blanked. I didn’t want to lie to her, but our relationship was just getting started again and I didn’t want to spook her. So, instead of telling her the truth and scaring her away, and instead of lying to her, I kept my mouth shut, pleading with my eyes for her to understand, begging her to drop it.

I expected her to be upset, but what actually transpired in front of me left me feeling at a loss. She was angry. Angrier than I had ever seen her before.

“What the fuck, Alex! How the hell did you know what I looked like when I got the roses. Jesus, are you spying on me? I should have known, you’re a goddamn control freak” She stood up from the couch and marched through the room, ripping her hair down from the pins and scattering them across the floor.

“And now, after everything we JUST said, you’re not even going to tell me? Do you remember what happened last time you neglected to tell me something? Are you that stupid, Alex?” her rant continued as I sat, stumped, and in a fog.

When she reached for her dress, my brain begged me to get up and go to her, but I found myself paralyzed, frozen to the couch. I couldn’t move. I was terrified of her walking out the door, but I couldn’t make my limbs move. Throughout my internal debate, Charlotte continued yelling at me.

“Fine, Alex, you want to hold me at arm’s length, you want to block me out and not tell me things, fine. I’m gone!” she screamed, in a whirlwind of activity.

I watched, immobile, as she zipped up her dress, grabbed her purse and stormed out of my hotel room, slamming the door in the process. I thought I could even see the mirrors and the walls rattle with her departure.

A few moments later, my brain finally pulled me from my trance. Blinking rapidly a few times and scanning the room, my eyes widened as I realized fully what had just happened.
What the fuck did you do, Alex?

Daydreamer Musings
August 15, 2015
Followers-744

The amount of emotions coursing through me is ridiculous, and honestly, I just want to sit on the floor and cry. I know, I know, you guys are super confused over why I would be feeling like after mere hours of telling you how excited I was that he brought me the twelfth rose. I guess I should back up and explain. I don’t really want to, but I know that the good Doc watching this would probably want me to, and I just need to get this out. I can’t even concentrate right now.

I don’t want to go into too much detail, since I am writing on my phone, sitting on the side of the freeway, trying to calm myself down enough to drive the rest of the way home. Why am I driving myself home, you ask, and not staying with the man of my dreams? It’s a good question. I’m still trying to figure that out myself and I’m failing miserably.

Alex and I had an amazing time at the fundraiser. He talked, we laughed, we ate, and I even won a trip to a day spa, compliments of Alex himself. He is incredibly selfless with his money and I honestly thought that things were going to be different with him now that we seemed to have mended a few fences. That he was going to open up to me and talk to me. That he would stop lying to me. But then, at the hotel he just stopped talking and, while he didn’t technically lie to me, he refused to answer a question of mine that was quite important. He slipped up, he knew he had slipped. He told me in more or less words that he has been secretly watching me from afar. I wouldn’t be creeped out at all if he had said he was watching me on the street, or at a cafe or something. But, he told me he could see me at my office.

Now, I’m not an idiot. There are cameras in my office, and I know that Alex is one of the smartest, technologically advanced people that I know. I can, and did, put two and two together. He’s watching me, and I’ll be honest with you, it probably should creep me out, but it doesn’t. It doesn't bother me at all that he is watching. I almost find it kind of endearing that he wants to keep an eye on me enough to break the law and hack into computer camera software to watch me.

But, when I asked him how he had been watching me, he got tight lipped and absolutely refused to say anything. He wouldn’t deny it, wouldn’t own up to it, and just wouldn’t say a goddamn word about it. I flipped out. After a perfectly amazing evening, I lost my shit. I may have even called him stupid, and honestly, I still believe it to be true, but I love him so much, and I’m so hurt right now.

Does there seem to be a pattern here, with the loving and the hurting? It seems like every blog post I write, that’s what I am saying. I feel like a damn broken record. Why the fuck can’t he trust that me enough to tell me this kind of shit? Who knows how the evening would have gone if he would have just admitted he was lurking.

On the plus side, and I’m sure you ALL want to know about this, not only am I hurting, I’m also quite sated. LOL. I’m not gonna get into that either, but I can’t always post bad stuff can I? I shouldn’t even be telling you guys this, this is embarrassing, but I can’t seem to shut up right now. I think I’ve reached a level of shock and anger I’ve never been to before and it’s making me loose lipped. Unlike Alex, of course.

He really is an amazing man, despite his faults, I just have to find a way for him to stop hiding things from me. I don’t know what to do though. How do I get him to open up and talk to me? How do I get him to trust me enough to tell me the truth and to believe that we can work through anything as a couple? A few months ago, if you had told me I would be in the predicament I am in now, loving a closed off billionaire who fills my every desire and who loves me more than I can imagine, and who I love in return, but who can’t even be honest with me, I might laugh in your face and check you into the psych ward at Kaiser myself.

Growing up, I imagined myself finding the boy next door, getting married, having a house and 2.5 kids with a white picket fence. My only dilemma would be what I would cook for dinner. After the events of my teenage years, I gave up hope of a normal relationship, and took comfort in knowing I had Danny, and even if I never found anyone, I would be happy. When I fell in love with Alex, I knew we would have things to work on. He is a billionaire who lives in a sky rise and I’m a middle class woman who works and lives paycheck to paycheck. He wears three piece suits from Armani and I wear dresses from Forever 21 or Target or some other chain store. Sure, I splurge on expensive shoes, but I could never be in his caliber.

I’m rambling, people, I know, and I’m sorry, I just need to talk and get things off my mind so I can drive home. I guess I’m ok now and will continue my trek. I hope Danny is home when I get there. I’m sure he is sick of my incessant tears, but as always, I need him more than anything right now, except maybe Alex…. I could really use him.

As always, I love you all and welcome to all of my new subscribers. This blog is a bumpy one, so fasten your seatbelts and enjoy the ride. I need to go home and drown myself in chocolate. Oh God, I did NOT just say that!