Just a Monumental Summer: Girl on the train (10 page)

“It’s only an internship job. No big deal,” I said humbly.

“Congrats, Mona. Or shall we shall we say, deep regrets?” Laughter.

Alin whispered in my ear, “Why you didn’t tell me, babe?”

I didn’t answer. What should I say? That I had a job with no future and no pay?
It’s not like I have to report everything to you.
It was a little annoying.

Suddenly, the door opened, and Geta entered the room. She was visibly disturbed, and Vladi followed her, yelling at her, “Are you kidding me? Are you fucking kidding me?” 

Vladi’s hair was totally pink. We all burst into loud laughter.

“Baby, I can fix it, don’t worry.” Geta was trying to calm him down, but she laughed as well. Vladi looked at us, gave us a deep sigh, and disappeared into the other room. Geta tried to convince us. “I can fix it. Not a big deal!” she screamed at us, following Vladi who was making rounds across the whole living room.

“I will fucking lose my hair. Guys, it’s not funny,” Vladi said with despair in his voice.

“Pink is a good color, I guess,” Teo said.

I looked at Teo who trying to take a huge bite from a jelly donut. The powdered sugar snowed on his long beard and the look of it cut the sudden appetite I just got.
When and where did you find the jelly donut?

“I like it. It’s original," said Jony with sarcasm.

“Yeah, if you are a Teletubby,” Alin said, and we laughed again.

Vladi and Geta came back. Vladi had a plastic cap over his hair. He sat on the floor and took a sip from a beer bottle. Geta gave him a kiss and told him, “In thirty minutes, your hair will be good again.” 

Geta tried to convince me it was only an accident. Probably the color was expired. I didn’t care. We went to the balcony; she needed to smoke a cigarette. I asked her to tell me about Ema and Alin. 

“If you ask me, it’s his fault. I wouldn’t have touched her. She is damaged beyond repair, for life. George T. was her first love, and the asshole fucked her up. She will never get over him. It’s been years, and she always goes back to him.”

“I had a feeling she left him,” I said sadly. “Do you think Alin still loves her?”

“They all fucking love her, Mona,” she admitted sadly. “Men are all pigs.”

We joined the group again. Alin kissed me on my hair happily. “I see you and Ema are friends now. You only needed to give her time.” He seemed relieved I was becoming her friend.

I told him about the villa and about my apartment at the employee condominium. He showed me his room. We had sex then stayed there all night. Next day we went to the beach and returned to his place. Later, we heard Teo shouting from the living room: it was time to leave for the concert. Ema was waiting in the living room for us.

Do you live here girl?You never go home?
I asked myself annoyed.

Alin started to get ready. I watched, fascinated, while he got ready for the show. First, he did his hair. He mixed some mousse and liquid gel in his hands and then crunched the hair with his fingers into its final shape. Then he added hairspray all around his head with his eyes closed and crooked his face in disgust. Too much hairspray: a wave of it reached my mouth and nose and made me almost spit and cough.

             
Is this an eyeliner pencil? Really Alin? Are you using makeup?
The makeup made him look too beautiful for a guy, I thought.

              Then, he donned the jewelry, too many rings – big and scary rings. He had too many bracelets also, black and leathery, and two thin leather rope necklaces with big wood cross pendants. I asked him if he had T-shirts other than black, and he let me choose. I liked a dark-blue one with bright-red letters saying “FUCK!” and ripped sleeves. A black leather belt with a big buckle which had a skull embroidered with silver and bronze rhinestones was looking fierce. Finally, he slid the heavy leather jacket over his arms. He inspected the results in his mirror, looking every inch the rock star.

We all walked to the Summer Theatre. A group of girls approached us. Jony went straight to a slim, short brunette. Ema approached me and told me she had to go and meet George T. “Look, there is nothing between me and Alin. It didn’t work. We are only friends, ok? Now we can be friends as well.” Her explanation came unexpectedly, but I appreciated it. In fact, I was happy she’d confirmed we were friends. She gave us all a big hug before she left in the middle of the show. 

Afterwards, the group split up. Half of us went to Sky while the other half disappeared. Alin and I went to the disco. It was busy, as always. We had a lounge reserved for us. On the dance floor, I recognized the guy from the other night. He was dancing with his girlfriend. She was wasted. She kissed me happily on the mouth. They both recognized Alin. 

“I didn’t know Alin is your friend,” the guy told me with an admiring smile. 

“He’s not. We only fuck,” I replied.

I don’t know why I’d said that. Alin heard. He gave me a disappointed look.

I left the dance ring, and Alin followed me unwillingly. 

“What’s wrong with you, Mona? Why do you make it so hard being with you? Is it because of the train’s sex adventure?” 

“I guess. I don’t know. I can’t have it normal,” I said, avoiding his look.

“Who was that guy anyway?” Alin asked, upset.

“I just met them the other night.”

I never saw him angry before now. “I saw she kissed you…”

“She was drunk, Alin. I don’t care about her, like I don’t care about your groupies.” I tried to make him hot. “C’mon, Alin, you liked it, didn’t you? Me kissing another girl, you between two girls.”

He covered my mouth with his hand. “Mona, stop, this is not you. Tell me, what do you want?” He was still angry.

I want you to be free from her – who ever she is.  I want you to take me out of here, and I want you to save me. But you can’t. No one can,
I was screaming in my head. There was a long moment of silence between us. 

“You know I can’t read your mind, Mona.” 

“You don’t want to read my mind, Alin,” I told him, angry at myself. 

We left the disco. We stopped by the beach, watching distractingly the waves. He gave me his jacket, and he said, “Mona, you stop, with all that. You are mine now.” He demanded coldly.

I didn’t say anything.

He continued: “You know, the love song, your song?  You have to come listen it, at the rehearsals.” His wasn’t angry anymore.

I kissed his hair and his cheeks. I felt bad. He was always nice to me.

“Alin, I need drama. Don’t take me seriously.” I had in mind Geta’s words about Ema and ended up saying, “I am fucked up beyond repair. You can’t save me.”

He tried to say something, but I kissed him brutally.

We arrived at his place. I saw light coming from Jony’s room and heard some laughs coming from there. We ate some pizza leftovers and went to his room. The TV was on. I switched off the lights. “So where is my bed, Alin?” I asked him.

“You will have to get used to sleeping with me, Mona. You’re stuck with me.” He was smiling at me. He threw me on the bed and kissed me. “Now, tell me about your first, Mona.”

“Do you really want to know?” I needed assurance.

He nodded while lighting a cigarette and propped himself up on one arm and lay on his side like that beside me.

“I was eighteen and nine months and still a virgin. In my town, we cared what other people said. Keeping your virginity was important. What puzzles me is I didn’t give a shit. I knew I would leave town as soon as I finished school, and never ever come back. Yet, I took pride in my virginity. I liked to flirt, to tease men, to play, but I had to be unattainable.”

He seemed to realize something. “Why were you in school still at eighteen and a half?”

“Hey, you noticed. My mother sent me to school at seven and a half. She decided I was too young to go start school. She always thought she knew everything about everything.”

“Stubborn,” he confirmed.

“Stubborn for sure! It’s ok to be stubborn, but to be sure, it’s dangerous. Did you know Copernicus held back science for two thousand years because of his beliefs, because he was ‘sure’, and most of the time he didn’t even bother to test his theories? In other words, he was a stubborn prick!”

“No, you’re exaggerating. It wasn’t entirely his fault; it’s the ones who failed to question his system and didn't do the experiments that would have led to a better one,” he explained.

“This is my point. They failed because he was an authority… it was almost impossible to win an argument against him. He was always right. When Galileo tried to prove him wrong, the Catholic Church had already absorbed Aristotle’s philosophy and science, and they declared his actions heresy.”

He continued to debate me. “The burning of the library of Alexandria is partially to blame.”

“Oh yes, the decline of the Roman Empire helped as well. How can you do science while you’re trying to ward off barbarians? I don’t deny these facts.”

“I get your point, but you can’t blame only one person. Look at our country. We blame Ceausescu and his wife, but we were all to blame. We did nothing against it. We let them indoctrinate us, and look what we’ve become. Cowards.” He looked disgusted.

“It’s easier to blame someone else, Alin. Makes us feel better. Look, we got into another topic. I was trying to make an analogy about how dangerous some beliefs can be when you refuse to test them. Like my mother did. She thought she was always right.”

“I still want to hear about your first.” He was courteous enough to turn his head away before blowing out a stream of smoke.

“One day, I heard about this boy, who’d moved there from Bucuresti.” I said staring up at the ceiling. “He had already caught my attention. Bucuresti was my dream place. And he was a bad guy. He was rude with his teachers, pulling pranks on them and his colleagues. Gabriel, the bad boy, looking like Dave Gahan… the guy from Depeche Mode.”

He said, with a condescending smile, “Yes, I know who Dave Gahan is. I know a thing or two about music.”

Of course he knows, idiot!

“It was love at the first sight. Don’t look at me like that. I only believe in love at first sight!” I told him, ready to fight his comment.

              Instead, he agreed with me, amused: “Mona, calm down. I believe in love at first sight as well.”

              I must have spoken with such conviction that Alin gave up debating me. “I don’t need months to realize I love someone. If you need to give it time, you force it. Call it chemistry, vibes, energy, God’s hand—call it whatever you want. But there is one thing you can’t deny. You feel it right away. I think it’s so sad to see people need years to fall in love. It’s getting used with someone. That’s not love. It’s like second-choice love or the leftovers love.”

              “One of your crazy theories again? Second-choice love? How do you come up with this stuff?” He was simply baffled.

I showed him my head and knocked on it. “Romeo and Juliet. They saw each other and fell in love forever,” I said excitedly.

“Romeo and Juliet ended up dying; four people died because of their love,” he pointed out.

“This is my point. No one will die because some guy named Ion finally realized he is in love with his colleague after three years of working together. Die from boredom, maybe. Either you die or you are not in love. There is no love in between.”

“So you were madly in love after a couple of seconds. I believe you.” There was a touch of derision in his voice.

“I was madly in love. I asked Sandu, my best friend, to hook me up with him. I will never forget Sandu’s look when he tried to warn me. I saw my defeat in his eyes and still ignored it.” I sighed.

Alin tapped out his cigarette in an ashtray on the bed table. “And?”

“One night, Sandu showed up at my door, letting me know Gabriel was downstairs. Arrogant presence, arrogant smile. Sexy as hell. Bad boy as hell. He smelled like confidence does. He exuded victory from all his pores. He treated me like a child, and he was only two years older than me. I remember being clumsy, embarrassed like hell. I was afraid I would say one wrong word. I couldn’t recognize myself. I’d never been uncomfortable or shy around men. It was like I didn’t know how to behave. I wanted so badly to impress him.”

“Like you did with me on the train,” he said proudly and kissed me on my cheek.

I nodded in agreement with him and continued. “He only stayed for ten minutes. I was so afraid he didn’t like me. Next day, Sandu told me he invited me to a movie. I was in heaven again. I should have been angry, after all, he invited me through Sandu, not personally. All I remember was the fire teasing my body. I felt it during the movie as well. While we were watching the movie, he tried to touch me. He kissed me on my neck. I was in Heaven. Until he started to play with my breasts, and then I pushed him, more as a reflex.” I paused.

“Why did you push him?” he asked, surprised.

“It all happened too fast. I wasn’t ready. I don’t know. Or my instinct tried to tell me something. I couldn’t enjoy it. It felt cheap. I wanted him to get to know me, I needed romance, intriguing talks, flirt. It was strange. I was turned off in one second. He didn’t try anything else, and we watched the movie till the end, and he brought me home. I didn’t hear from him for a long time. After half a year…”