Just a Little Misgiving (Shades of Deception, Book 3) (8 page)

Faith and Myles exchanged a look that said they knew firsthand of those down sides, but even the memory of tragedy and loss couldn't dim the rapture of what they'd shared.

The doctor went over Faith's file and asked a few routine questions, then picked up the monitor. She instructed Faith to lie down. Myles quickly moved to her side, helping her to lean back.

A sudden, irrational fear gripped her. What if something was wrong? What if the doctor couldn't get the heartbeat?

Myles took her hand and squeezed it. "It's okay. Remember, we felt the baby move." His eyes shone with lingering delight and a silent understanding.

"How did you know what I was thinking?"

"Because you went straight for the bottom lip, sweetheart."

Sweetheart!
The endearment sang through her veins, making her forget her discomfort and the self-consciousness she had expected to feel with him standing there as the nurse pushed the gown up to her waist and tucked the sheet around her hips.

As the doctor applied the cold gel to Faith's exposed abdomen, Myles held her hand tight, and she could feel the encouragement and support he willed to her.

"Can I look?" he asked, and because he had cared enough to ask first, she found that she didn't mind.

"Only if you don't laugh." She caught her breath when the monitor made contact with the gel and began to glide over her stomach. "My tummy's not what it used to be."

"Unfortunately I wouldn't know any different," Myles whispered next to her ear before he shifted his attention to her slightly rounded middle.

She watched anxiously for any sign that he found her unappealing to look at and breathed a sigh of relief when he smiled warmly before sending her a glance that shone with paternal pride. He focused on the monitor as the doctor rolled it first this way, then that, but leaned down long enough to murmur, "I don't know how you were shaped before, but I can't imagine a prettier sight than this."

She was still glowing when Dr. Laurentz suddenly said, "I've got it!" and turned up the sound until a swishing noise filled the room. Underlying that was a quick, hollow beat.

"Hear that? It's your baby. And he's got a strong, steady heartbeat."

Faith clutched Myles's hand tight and a sense of such joy, of reaching beyond herself and touching heaven, caused a sob to catch in her throat. She didn't care if she cried, it was so wonderful, so perfect, she didn't care if the whole world saw.

Myles returned the pressure of her grip, then lifted her hand to his mouth. He pressed a soft kiss on it before impulsively brushing his lips over hers.

"Thank you," he whispered, his own eyes brimming with unspoken emotion.

Before long, Dr. Laurentz was putting away the monitor while Diane efficiently wiped off the slippery gel before Myles gently lifted her up.

"Now, let's see, you plan to breast-feed, right?" Dr. Laurentz asked.

"Yes," Myles and Faith answered in unison. They looked at each other, and a sensual spark arced between them.

"You need to toughen your nipples of course," stated Dr. Laurentz, matter-of-factly. "I imagine they're fairly sensitive."

"Um... yes, they are."

Myles quirked a brow; his smile broadened. "What do you suggest for that, Dr. Laurentz? Is there anything we can do to... work on getting them ready?"

"Oh, sure. She can go braless and let the material brush against her for a few minutes each day or use a rough towel and rub them until they're not so sensitive. Be sure to keep them conditioned. Lanolin is good for that. Of course you've got a while yet, Faith, so if you want to wait, you can."

Myles bit his tongue to keep from commenting. Faith's cheeks were a very attractive shade of pink and getting pinker by the minute.

"But I do want you to keep up a routine of regular exercise," she added. "Nothing too strenuous, but walking, even swimming is good. And of course, you need to watch your diet. Twelve pounds isn't too bad considering you were a little underweight to begin with, but you've got a long way to go, and in those last few months the pounds can add up."

"Don't worry, Dr. Laurentz," Myles assured her. "I'm watching Faith's diet. Well be sure she eats properly."

"Good. Now, have you discussed delivery? You can change your minds along the way, but I always recommend Lamaze classes in the last trimester. If you're interested, I have all the pertinent information." She nodded to Myles. "A lot of husbands coach their wives."

"But he's not—"

"I've already got my stopwatch," Myles cut in. He narrowed his eyes on Faith, silently daring her to say more. She didn't know it yet, but he was going to be her husband before their baby was born. It was a deeply personal cause, to ensure his child was legitimate.

But his personal cause had taken unexpected turns. How could he convince Faith and himself they could be married in name only if he kept having this gut-wrenching, heart-pounding reaction to her? He couldn't. Whatever rational ideas he'd come up with in Denver had bit the dust once Faith was in his blood.

"Now," Dr. Laurentz said, "any concerns or questions about sex?"

"Yes," Myles said as he looked straight at Faith, who fidgeted nervously on the table. "Sex is definitely a concern."

"Faith's in excellent health and shows no signs of risk. Medically I see no reason to curb a healthy sexual relationship. Be as intimate as you want, as frequently as you like, until the last few weeks or so—just as long as no complications arise. Only, once the baby begins to grow... well, most couples manage to work around that."

"Considering what we've been working around, I don't think that'll seem like much of a problem."

Myles chuckled while Faith made a strangled noise and gripped the sheet at her hips. The doctor looked from one to the other, then gave a small shrug.

"I'm here if you need me. Call if you have any abdominal cramping or vaginal bleeding. Otherwise I'll see you in a month."

"We'll be here," Myles assured her. Alone again, he braced both hands on either side of Faith's hips. "So, how did I do?"

"You did fine," she retorted. "Better than fine,
coach.
Even after I told her about... about the IUI, you led her to believe... to believe—"

"That we're, umm, intimate?"

"Yes! And not only that, you didn't let me get a word in edgewise. I just kept sitting here while the two of you discussed me like I didn't have a tongue to speak for myself."

"But, Faith, you and I both know you do indeed have a tongue." He reached around and untied the top ribbon of the gown. "A very talented tongue, I might add. Though even an expert like yourself can always use some extra practice."

"Myles!" she gasped, capturing his hand when he began to undo the second tie.

"And I think you should know that I can be a real taskmaster. As your coach I'll expect you to limit your practice to me. Especially since—"

"Myles, what are you doing? For heaven's sake... Myles! Stop that! That's the last—"

"Especially since I consider it my solemn duty to help you work on things such as breast-feeding." He pulled her gown slightly away from her neck.

Just far enough to press a kiss to her throat and feel the giveaway leap of her pulse.

"I, for one, think we should give that top priority," he murmured seductively. "Rubbing and massaging your... sensitive areas sounds like very serious business to me. Certainly not to be neglected."

"Myles." Her neck arched back, giving him access.

"And as for your diet..."

She moaned as he tongued the warm hollow of her throat. The eyes that met his were glazed, aroused.

"My diet?" she said in a distant voice.

"Mmm, yes. I definitely plan to monitor your diet. The main course today is a triple hot fudge sundae. A scoop for you and baby and me."

"And... dessert?"

He trailed his fingers up her bare back, then speared them through her hair. He fixed her with a purposeful stare.

"For dessert, my dear, you get me and only me."

Chapter 6

"White," she insisted. "I have my heart set on all white."

"Pastels," he countered. "Or maybe something like that cute little thing we saw in the store with red and blue teddy bears dangling around it."

"That was a mobile, Myles." She smiled at the musical nursery lamp he'd allowed her to carry up to her bedroom. He was busy situating a huge stuffed giraffe and fussing with the layette they had selected together after feasting on the hot fudge sundae he'd promised.

"At least we agreed on the baby bed."

Bed.
Her gaze automatically turned to the big four-poster in the middle of the room and she tried hard not to think about what might or might not happen now that the evening was drawing to an end. Her stomach twisted tight with nerves, and her gaze skittered away.

"I think the baby should feel like royalty with a brass bed and a canopy," she added, while her anxiety climbed a notch.

"The baby
is
royalty." His brow furrowed. "You're sure he won't bang his head on that thing?"

"Not with bumpers.
White
bumpers."

"I can see you're going to be stubborn about this." He took the lamp and hooked it up beside the bed. "Turn off the lights and we'll make sure it works. By the way, I like those pastel bulbs you found." He switched on the lamp and sent her a simmering look that didn't coincide with the tinkling lullaby. "They're very soft. Romantic."

She watched Myles sit on the edge of the bed. He held his hand out to her. She took it.

"Stand there," he said, urging her between his parted thighs, then whispered something against her stomach. She could feel his breath through her clothes. She swallowed hard and exhaled on a shallow gasp.

"What are you doing?"

"Talking to the baby," he said, then placed a soft kiss where he'd whispered. "Why are you shaking, Faith?"

"I—I don't know. I think I'm scared."

"Of me?"

"Of... us." She let him pull her onto his lap; she could feel the tautness of his muscles beneath. Was he shaking too? Was that what she felt as he urged her arms around his neck? "I'm afraid of what's happening here."

"And what's happening? Say it, Faith. Let's get this out in the open where it belongs. Starting with how it feels when I do this." He threaded his fingers through her hair and exposed her neck. His lips were soft, moist. She felt the flick of his tongue against the erratic pulse of her throat. "Does it feel good?"

"Good," she breathed. "So... good."

"Then why are you pulling away?"

"Because... because... Myles, I don't know." The last word caught on a sob. What was wrong with her? She'd waited for this forever, and now that it was happening she was a total mess. What if it didn't work out? What if she did something wrong? What if... what if after it was over, Myles realized it was only the heat of the moment and he was sorry for or felt guilty about what they'd done. What if...?

"Is it Gloria?" he whispered into her hair.

"I feel... it's crazy, but I'm afraid I'm cheating on her." She made the confession even while her muscles clenched and she moved closer to the heat of his body and tentatively stroked the corded strength of his neck. "Maybe most of all, I'm afraid you'll decide that this was a mistake and then it'll become awkward with us. I couldn't bear that, Myles."

"The only mistake I could make with you is pretending what's happening between us isn't really happening. No one can absolve us of what we're feeling but ourselves, and the only way we can do that is to accept that we're the only ones who can be cheated. Gloria's gone. It's time we both said good-bye."

He lifted his ringless hand to the light. "I've been saying it for the past week. You have to do the same or we're not going to be able to deal with our relationship."

"And what is our relationship, Myles?"

"That's what I'm asking you. What your doubts are... and your fears."

"I do have fears," she admitted. "I fear that I'm convenient and you're lonely."