Junkyard Dog (19 page)

T
he minute we turn onto Hayes’s street, I know
something is up. I’m uncertain what he has in mind when we pull up to his big,
modern, concrete home. Now I’m outside watching the kids play with Nightmare in
the expansive, manicured backyard. A too quiet Hayes stands at my side. When he
crawls into his head, I always worry. Normally, he's thinking about how many
people he needs to kill to get what he wants. Now he’s thinking about me.

“I like your house,” I say, breaking the silence.
“It feels like you in every way.”

“Well, it is my house.”

“I’m Candy, Hayes. Don’t put on your bullshit mask
for me.”

His dark eyes find me and study my face before he
finally asks. “What does that mean?”

“It means you’re overwhelmed by having us here and
by saying those three words in your bedroom. You want space, but you’re afraid
to ask for it. You think I’ll be mad, but I know you, and I know you’ve been
alone for a long time. Space makes sense. Not only for you but for me too. I’ve
been without a man all my life. Even when I was dating, I never viewed myself
as part of a couple. Now I love you, and I want to spend all of my time with
you, but I also want to have my life stay the way it was. I know what you’re
feeling, so you pretend with me.”

“You want time away from me, huh?” he says.

“Not yet, but I will. It’s normal for people like
us. We’re basically loners. If I didn’t have the kids, I’d be alone a lot, and
I’d be okay with that. I don’t need to be entertained by people. I want my
space, so I understand you feeling trapped.”

“You’re projecting.”

“Am I, Oprah?”

Hayes grins. “I actually did hear that word on her
show. It was years ago while I was waiting at the dentist.”

“Don’t lie, boss. We both know you love Oprah. I
bet you watched her every day.”

“Pain in the ass.”

“Maybe but I love you. I’m not in denial of who you
are. I understand all the bad that comes with all the good. I know you aren’t a
man accustomed to having children playing at his house or a woman rolling
around in his bed.”

Hayes stares at the sky, and I catch him smirking.
“What you were doing to my pillow was damn sexy.”

I smile too and take his hand. “Having us here is a
big step. I don’t need you to make any other big displays for a while. Just
relax.”

Hayes leans down to kiss me, hears the kids nearby,
and changes his target from my lips to my cheek.

“They know we kiss,” I say, pulling him down to
kiss his lips.

Hayes wiggles free. “My parents once made out in
front of me. I still have nightmares.”

“No offense, but your parents weren’t as hot as
us.”

“My mom was a good looking woman.”

“Yes, very handsome,” I say and then dodge his hand
when he tries to smack my ass.

I walk to where the kids are petting Nightmare. The
mammoth dog stares at me with his big, dark eyes, reminding me of his owner.
They’re both giants living in a normal sized world. Though excited to have
company, they’re also still hoping we’ll leave soon.

“He likes when I scratch him behind the ears,”
Chipper tells me.

Kneeling down, I pet the dog, and he rolls on his
side to get tummy love. I glance back at Hayes watching us with his dog.
There’s something a little lonely about the way he stands apart. Every night,
he comes home to an empty house. Nightmare is accustomed to being alone all
day. They’ve only had each other for so long and adding to their little group
is probably scary as hell.

I know I’m scared about my future with Hayes.

His house feels like his. Mine feels like mine. The
kids just settled into their new lives in White Horse. None of us are really
interested in change. As long as we keep things simple for the time being, this
arrangement can work.

Unfortunately, Hayes doesn’t believe in simple.

“We ought to go somewhere for your fall break,” he
tells the kids after we sit down at his dining table to eat.

“Where?” Chipper asks immediately.

I know my son wants a father figure. He tried with
his real father, but Toby has no interest in children. He won’t even hold his
“wanted” son, Charlie.

Chipper tried bonding with his grandfather, but
Charles Eddison isn’t the warmest man. He loves his grandkids, but they freak
him out. I doubted he was hands-on with Toby either.

Now Chipper is looking to Hayes to play the dad
role. Cricket looks at Hayes as an amusement, but she doesn’t trust people.
Outside of her brother, grandparents, and me, she doesn’t seem to like anyone.
Hayes can ditch us, and the kid would shrug it off. For Chipper, the rejection
would hurt more.

“Where do you want to go?”

The twins look at each other but say nothing.

“Why don’t we stay around here?” I suggest. “We can
go to the zoo during the break.”

Hayes frowns. “Think bigger, Candy. What about
Disney World?”

The kids’ eyes widen, but they remain wary. Their
grandparents once suggested Toby take his three kids to Disney World. He
agreed, but nothing ever came out of the plan. Now he sits in jail, so things
turned out for the best.

“That’s an expensive trip,” I say.

The twins look at me, and I realize I’m the bad
guy.
Ugh, can I blame the law for this situation? Is it possible the po-po
banned us from Florida?

“I haven’t been on vacation in a decade,” Hayes
says, focused on his food.

“Where did you go last time?” I ask.

“Australia.”

“Why?”

“For the koala bears,” Hayes mutters.

The twins laugh, not realizing he's grumpy with me.
I admit Hayes and koala bears is funny.

“Why not the boxing kangaroos?” I ask, being grumpy
back at him.

Hayes narrows his eyes, and we frown at each other.
The kids stare at him and then decide to focus their big brown eyes at me.

“Disney World will be full of children,” I say to
Hayes.

“I doubt it,” he says full of sarcasm.

“It’ll be loud and crowded. People might talk to
you.”

“Can’t wait.”

Realizing he refuses to take the out I’ve
graciously handed him, I smile at the kids. “I guess we’re going to Disney
World.”

The kids smile at each other and then beam at me.
After all, I’m the one who kissed this big man into taking them somewhere cool.
Their mom has mad skills.

“Why did you really go to Australia?” Cricket asks
Hayes.

“I wanted to go on a walk-about.”

“What’s that?”

“Where you walk around the outback of Australia.”

“Was it fun?”

“No. It was a lot of walking in the heat.”

I burst into laughter at the thought of Hayes
wearing a big wad of sunscreen on his nose and wandering around in the heat.
What
in the hell kind of vacation is that?

Hayes frowns at me as if knowing I’m laughing at
him. He stares hard, trying to intimidate me. Instead, I imagine his frowning
face covered in sunscreen and laugh louder. The twins react by laughing too.
They’re laughing at me rather than Hayes, but he frowns darker.

“Stop,” he demands.

“All right, mate,” I giggle.

Hayes wants to be angry, but he ends up grinning.

I wrap my fingers around his. “There’s a lot of
walking at Disney World. Might even have a koala bear somewhere.”

“Funny stuff.”

The kids and I smile at him, and he finally settles
down.

“You’re due for a vacation,” I say, still holding
his hand.

“Probably.”

“You like to golf, and they have courses at the
resort. You don’t have to spend the entire time with the kids.”

Hayes never considered having fun on the trip. He
just wants to make the kids happy and play the role of the nice boyfriend. Now
he realizes he could actually enjoy himself.

“Years ago, we planned to visit Orlando,” I
explain, “and I remember reading something about babysitters at some of the
resorts. We could ditch these two and go out in the evening.”

“Hey,” Cricket says. “I don’t need a babysitter.
We’re like eighteen, remember?”

“That didn’t work before. Won’t work now.”

“But it’s a different state. The laws might be
different,” Cricket insists until Chipper whispers something to her. “Never
mind.”

“You’re the voice of reason,” Hayes says, grinning
at Chipper.

My boy eats up the attention. Cricket is mostly
focused on me. I reach over and pat her hand. She looks at my hand on hers and
my other hand on Hayes. I don’t know what she’s thinking, but I suspect she’s
threatened by the changes.

I’m proven correct when she grabs onto me after
dinner and wants to hold my hand while we stand outside. Hayes and Chipper
throw the ball to Nightmare until the dog decides he’s bored of exercise and
walks inside.

“I like animals,” Chipper says. “I wish we could
have a dog and another cat.”

Hayes looks at me like I’m a bad mom for not
instantly driving to the shelter to get new pets for my first born.

“Let’s see how they do with Dreamy.”

Hayes gives Chipper a look like I’m a pain in the
butt. I give Cricket a look like the guys are dorks. She smiles knowingly.

We go inside and find Nightmare stretched out on
the couch.

“He owns the place,” Hayes says. “Let me grab a few
things and we’ll head to your place.”

I talk to the kids about the massive remote and
what I think all the buttons do. They’re dying to play with it.

“I’ll show you how to use it the next time you come
over,” Hayes says, reappearing with a duffle bag.

The kids smile at the idea of returning, but
Cricket still grabs on me possessively. She likes Hayes and his big house. She
likes her family of three more, though.

Once in his SUV, I ask about the duffle bag.

“It's my clothing for tomorrow.”

“You’re sleeping over?”

“Of course.”

“Don’t you miss your bed?”

“Not as much as I miss yours.”

I study him while he drives us to my house. In his
hurry to prove he’s boyfriend material, Hayes might push himself too far too
fast. I want to tell him again how it’s okay to need space. I even open my
mouth to say something but chicken out.

“I’m not a child,” he says when we pull into my
driveway. “I know what I want,” he adds before leaning over to look me in the
eyes. “And I get what I want.”

Smiling, I kiss him quickly and elicit gagging
noises from the backseat.

“I like waking up next to you,” is all I say before
climbing out of the SUV and opening the door for the kids.

We head into the house, and I tell myself not to
worry. Except Hayes is the man I love and this family routine is all new to
him. I also have two kids unaccustomed to their mom dating. Chipper wants a new
daddy while Cricket wants no daddy. I might be a killjoy, but worrying makes
sense with these three.

O
nce I decide to plan a vacation to Disney World,
the scope of everything grows. I figure the week we’re out of town will be a
good time to do renovations in the office. Moot meets me to go over my plans,
and he can’t stop chuckling.

“What?” I mutter.

“I keep picturing you scaring little kids at Disney
World.”

“Can you fucking focus?”

Moot shakes his head. “I don’t know, man. You and
Disney World are distracting me.”

“One day, you’ll have kids, and then you won’t
think it’s so funny.”

“No, I’ll still laugh at the thought of you on that
Tea Cup ride.”

Shaking my head, I walk into my back office. “I
need more space.”

“Hell, man, I told you that shit years ago.”

“Yeah, well, shut the fuck up now.”

Moot laughs again. “Okay, so you want me to get
this all done while you’re out of town. Shouldn’t be a big deal.”

“I’m edgy about leaving town in such an obvious
way. People might think they should fuck with me.”

“Yeah, but you’re coming back. It’s not like they’d
have much time to do the fucking.”

“They might think I’m turning soft because of Candy
and her kids.”

Moot shrugs. “So kill someone when you get back.”

“I'm serious.”

“So am I. People have been scared of you for a long
fucking time. They ain’t going to get over that in a week. If anyone does, you
deal with them and teach everyone else a lesson.”

Running my hand through my hair, I admit, “Maybe I
am going soft.”

“Yeah, but you’re soft where it counts. With your
enemies, you’ll always be an asshole. No doubt about that.”

I share his grin. “I guess. This family man shit
makes me feel like a pussy. I’m thinking about making kids smile rather than making
my enemies bleed.”

“You’ve worked for a long time to be in a stable
place with White Horse. Why not enjoy what you’ve got? Never know how long
it’ll last.”

I think about his words while he looks over the
plans. My mind is on Candy as usual, and I wonder about her safety.

“A few months before you got out, the sheriff in
Common Bend got it into his tiny fucking head to do a drive-by on my house and
the office. He caused only minor damage, but I was pissed rather than scared,”
I say and then add in a quieter voice. “If that happened now with Candy, I
don’t think I’d feel so invincible.”

“I get that, but it’s worth feeling scared. To have
a woman you love and trust is a magical fucking thing. A whole lot of people
never find that. Especially not guys like you.”

Nodding, I crack my knuckles and then shove my
hands into my jeans. “I hate feeling vulnerable.”

“Everyone does. They just don’t whine about it as
much as you do,” Moot says, stepping back in case I retaliate.

“Asshole.”

Moot laughs, and I like seeing him so happy. A lot
of men would have let prison eat them alive and turn them hard. Not Moot. He’s
like a kid out for summer vacation.

If he can keep his shit in order, I certainly can
too. I leave the office and head to Balthazar’s house. I find him in his chair
as always. Lizzy Anne is in the kitchen while Gladys the Cat sits at the
window. I swear they’re in the same positions as the last ten times I’ve
visited.

“Bring me anything?” Dad asks, looking at my hands.

“No.”

“Too bad. I could use good toffee.”

“You shouldn’t eat that shit with your dentures.”

“Always got something to say, don’t you?
Apparently, you’re a dentist now.”

Sitting on the couch to his right, I get straight
to the point since he clearly isn’t in a warm and inviting mood.

“I’m in love with Candy Wilburn.”

“Don’t blame you. She’s a looker.”

“I’m planning to make things official during our
week in Disney World. That’s why I want you to come on the trip.”

“I don’t like traveling.”

“It’s one week. We’re flying first class. You’ll
get your own room at the resort.”

“What about Lizzy Anne?” he asks, gesturing at
where she stands listening.

“I’ll pay for her to come with us.”

“Will she get her own room? I don’t want to share.”

“You’re kidding, right? Why in the hell would I
think she’d want to share a room with you?”

“You’re not always aware people have feelings,
son.”

Frowning, I look at Lizzy Anne. “We’re staying at
the animal resort where the kids can see giraffes. I was thinking of putting
Dad at another nice resort where there ought to be fewer kids. I can get you a
room on the same floor. They have room service and massages. It’ll be a paid
vacation. Are you game?”

“What about Gladys?” Dad asks before Lizzy Anne can
answer.

“I’ll pay to have someone come over and feed her.
Clean her shit too. She’ll be fine.”

“I'm not sure. I don’t want to go anywhere.”

I frown at my father. “Look, I haven’t asked for
shit in a long time. I’ve paid for this house and your care and that
ridiculously expensive surgery for your cat. You owe me, and I’m calling in my
damn markers. Pack up your shit, make sure you have your prescriptions in
order, and prepare to have the time of your fucking life.”

“You don’t need to be rude about it.”

“This trip is important. Candy and her kids are
important. Don’t fuck this up for me.”

Balthazar says nothing. I can feel how much he
wants to bitch and moan. I’m asking him to vary up his incredibly boring
schedule. If I hadn’t lost my temper, he’d tell me fucking no and wouldn’t
change his mind.

“Sounds like a good deal to me,” Lizzy Anne says,
walking to the kitchen. “I’ll check the weather in Florida and start getting
your dad packed.”

“Good. We’ll leave Friday night after the kids
finish school, and we’ll be gone for their autumn break.”

“That’s a long time,” Dad grumbles.

“They have golf courses at Disney World,” I tell
him. “Fishing too. I’m sure you and I can find things to do together and give
Lizzy Anne a break.”

My father frowns at the TV, but I notice less
irritation around his blue eyes. Back in the day, Dad took me golfing a few
times a month. Once Mom died, he didn’t have much use for golf or anything else
outside his house.

This trip can give him the sense of family he lost
years ago. I think he worries about stirring up those old feelings. Life with
Gladys the Cat and Lizzy Anne is easy, safe, and mind-numbingly dull. If he
thinks he can avoid feeling anything when Cricket and Chipper are around,
Balthazar’s in for a rude awakening.