Junk Miles (37 page)

Jake pulled the pants on. They were a perfect fit. He put the jacket on, no shirt underneath, and he looked amazing. Just like that. His body was suit-perfect. And the suit was great on him; much better than any boring black tux. He would look awesome. I had underestimated Jake’s judgment again.

“
Wow.” I smoothed my hands over the lapels and along the arms. “I really like it.”

“
It was my grandpa’s. Apparently he was pretty loaded. Anyway, I’m supposed to be the spitting image of him. I guess. No one has any pictures or anything.”

“
Your mom’s father.” I felt a little weird knowing what I did about his father when he was in the dark.

“
No. My dad’s. That’s what she said, anyway, Mom. It’s weird, though, because my dad is supposed to look just like his father, too. And I know that must seem weird, because I don’t look anything like him.” He looked down at his body in its suit. “And there’s no way he would have fit this suit.”

I felt a cold quake in my stomach. Jake’s mother had told him things about his real father without him realizing it. Maybe she planned to tell him all along. I was sure she never thought she’d get cancer and die young. She probably thought she’d have plenty of time to tell him everything. There was no way to know what she had planned.

“
Bren? You okay?” He was next to me in a second. Since my run-in with pneumonia Jake had been as insane about my health as Mom.

“
I’m fine.” I smiled a forced smile. “I’m just shocked that a suit that old can still look so great. I’ll get a dress that goes with it, and we can go shopping for a good dress shirt and a tie. And socks.” I shuddered a little to think of Jake dressed to the nines with white tube socks on. “And shoes,” I added, when the mental image of his boots finished everything off.

“
I’m glad you like it.” He wriggled out of the jacket. “I knew you’d think it was some crappy department store suit.” He laughed. “I know how you think.”

I didn’t have anything to say to that one. Thank God he didn’t, really.

Later that night, I talked to Mom about the prom.

“
Mom, Jake is going to his junior prom, and he invited me.” I was careful to keep my voice even, like it was no big deal one way or another.

If Mom had any trepidations about prom or Jake or anything else, they all left her head when she imagined prom dress shopping.

“
Oh, Bren!” Her eyes sparkled, and I could see the wheels in her head turning as she planned it all out. “Let’s go next weekend! We’ll try Lord and Taylor first. They always have a good selection. If not, we’ll go to Nieman Marcus. Oh, this is going to be so fun!”

I was glad Mom was so excited. So excited, she didn’t really pester me for many details. Other than what Jake would wear. When I told her about his great suit, she grabbed onto the idea, excited about the “classic” look of a good suit. I left my mom to toy over the intricacies of prom dress buying and claimed homework.

Which I had. But more importantly, I had to call the only person I could talk to about Jake.

“
Hey Blix. I’m about to go seduce the field hockey center from Sparta High. She’s a little mean, but very,
very
sexy. Like an Amazon.” Saxon filled me in on things I didn’t care to hear because he wanted me to be jealous and to know that he was getting on with his life without me. I knew I kind of deserved it, so I put up with it and tried not to react in any way that would encourage him to tell me more.

“
Good luck with that,” I said absently. “Can I talk to you for a minute about Jake?”

“
What is it?” His voice dropped that uber sexy drone he’d been using on me as soon as I mentioned Jake’s name.

“
He invited me to prom. He’s going to wear a suit. It fits him perfectly, and his mom told him it would because it was his father’s father’s, and he’s the spitting image, but it didn’t make sense to Jake since he looks nothing like the man he thinks is his dad. And I had to sit and listen to the whole thing, and I don’t think it’s right…” I trailed off from my long-winded ramble because I really didn’t know what else to say, and I wanted to know what Saxon’s take on the whole thing would be.

“
Just keep your mouth shut,” he snapped.

I bristled. I didn’t expect him to be sweet and understanding, but he didn’t have to be an asshole, either.

“
I don’t think it’s right.” I squeezed the phone tight.

“
What? That Jake has a really good suit and a few questions?” he snarled. “Look, he has an okay thing going. I’m not going to pretend it’s super fantastic for him, but it’s not shit. And knowing the truth would be illuminating the shit.”

“
I think he needs to know,” I pressed, my palms suddenly sweaty. “I don’t like keeping it from him.”

“
Is this about Jake, Brenna? Or is it about you?” Saxon asked, his voice rough. “Because it sounds like it has to do with your goody-goody conscience. I’m sure you made some inane promise to never lie again, but you made a promise to me first, and I expect you to keep it.”

“
I will.” I promised Saxon that I wouldn’t tell that he and Jake had the same father, and I wouldn’t. “Do you have any intention of telling him?”

“
No. And now, I have a girl to try to get into my infamous backseat. So this conversation is over.”

He clicked off, and I was left in the quiet of my bedroom. I pulled out my school books and tried to get to work on my homework, but this was nagging at me, and I couldn’t shake it.

Chapter Nineteen

I suddenly felt tense with Jake, and I had this terrible fear that I would just blurt the truth out. I imagined every possible reaction from him. I imagined him furious at me for keeping it from him. I imagined him getting emotional, being elated, shrugging it off. But mostly, I imagined his anger. Because that seemed the most likely.

I was able to put it out of my mind when I shopped with my mother, mostly because Mom was such a focused shopper, it was hard not to concentrate when she was in charge.

She swept into the formal section of Lord and Taylor like she owned it, and began picking up dresses, basically anything my size that was remotely pretty, then hustled me into the carpeted, big-mirrored dressing room and started pushing things at me.

I came in and out of the dressing room in dresses that were clinging and billowy, turquoise and ruby, sequined and embroidered, beautiful and…not so much.

Mom was ruthless and quick, ordering me in and out of things with such incredible speed, I actually felt like I was getting a workout.

Finally I tried on
the one.
I knew it the minute I shimmied into it. It was icy blue, with silver embroidery on the fitted bodice. It had a sweetheart neckline and a big, ballroom-style tulle skirt. It felt like it floated around me. It was big and kind of over-the-top, but I loved it, and Mom did, too.

“
That’s it,” she said decisively. “Do you love it? I can tell from your face what you’re going to say.”

“
I love it.” I sighed, and I felt that dreamy happiness that only a really fabulous, completely extravagant princess-style ballgown can create in a girl.

“
You can use your silver heels from Paris.” Mom took one more long look, then hurried me out of it, and helped me hang up the discards as she chattered. “We’re not going to find anything sexier here. But I’d like to look at some jewelry, too. Since it’s sleeveless, you’ll have a lot of open neck space. And we want something pretty for your hair. What are you thinking of doing to it?”

Mom and I chatted right up to Cinnabon, where we got deliciously gooey buns and ate them giddily. We were having such a good time, I took a chance on talking to her about my Jake dilemma. Not with any actual details, of course. Mom had an ironclad memory, and I was never sure when something I said to her would come back to bite me in the ass.

“
Mom, I have a problem.” I took another sticky bite of cinnamon bun.

She took a sip of her soda, wiped the sugar off of her fingers and looked right at me. “What is it, Bren?”

“
I have a friend. And I know a big secret about him. One that could be really important. But it’s not really my business to tell it. Only, I don’t like keeping this secret from him. And the reason I can’t tell…” And then it got too convoluted.

“
Tell me, Bren.” Her voice was wise as an Oracle’s.

“
Jake lives with the man who is his step-dad, but he doesn’t know it. His mother was pregnant with another guy’s baby, and she married Jake’s step-dad without telling him.” I took a deep breath. “And Jake’s real dad is also Saxon’s.”

Mom was less surprised than I expected. “They have the exact same frame.” She nodded. “And their facial shape is the same. If it wasn’t for their coloring, everyone would realize that they’re related.”

It dawned on me that my mother was trained to see the lines and patterns that connected everything. I had never really noticed it because I was so close to the two of them.

“
So Saxon is the one who told me, and their father told him. But Jake’s been in the dark all this time. And he knows things are weird, but he can’t figure it out. And I don’t think his step-dad knows.”

“
I doubt that, sweetie.” Mom took a long sip. “Just because Jake’s step-father doesn’t say anything doesn’t mean he doesn’t know. Lylee mentioned Jake’s mother when we were in France. Apparently they all had reputations for being pretty wild, and they were both very young mothers. There was probably a lot more going on than anyone realizes.”

“
Oh.” It was all I could think to say. I’d been thinking of this from the perspective of a friend or girlfriend. But I hadn’t really wrapped my head around it as the problem of a son or daughter. Once that dawned on me, I realized that there was going to be more to the entire situation because parents always kept their kids in the dark about certain things in order to protect them. That’s all there is to it.

By the time Mom and I were home that night, I didn’t feel like calling Jake or Saxon. I unzipped the bag that hung on the back of my closet door, a long white bag that held my blue dress. I pressed my face to the soft tulle of the skirt and sighed. Like a girl. Long and contented. I was thrilled that I could appreciate small happinesses. Like the most incredible dress in the world.

My phone rang, and it took me a minute to fumble it out of my purse, so by the time I had it in my hand, there was no time to check and see who was calling.

“
Hey Bren!” It was Kelsie.

“
Hey! I just got the most beautiful dress for Jake’s prom. Please come over later and love it with me.” I pressed my face against it again.

“
Ohmygod!” she squealed. “Tell me what it looks like.”

Then Kelsie and I spent a good fifteen minutes talking about my fabulous dress, right down to the tiny crystal flower centers.

“
I have to see it,” she said finally. “Listen, it’s so weird you got that dress, because I was calling about prom; Chris has this good friend whose date ditched him and he’s, like, heartbroken. Anyway, he’s had this little crush on you, and I was wondering if you might be willing to go with him? Please?”

“
Um, when is it?” I felt a little nervous. Kelsie had a big heart. A big, big heart, and she tended to see people in their best lights. Like a really creepy, moody guy could be, in Kelsie’s eyes, a misunderstood sweetie. It was refreshing and admirable. Unless you are the crushed-on blind date of said psycho/sweetheart. “And do I know this guy?”

“
It’s Nate. From the Folly show. Remember Nate? And it’s in three weeks.”

I did remember Nate, and I sighed with relief as I called up the memory of him. A genuinely nice guy with a lot of tattoos and facial metal. And, since Vo Tech’s prom was in two weeks, I could go as long as Mom said yes. Which she would, no question, since it was technically ‘dating other guys.’ I grinned to myself when I imagined her jaw drop over Nate’s neck tattoos.

“
I’ll ask Mom, but I’m almost sure it’s a go. Can you hang out later?” I know it was selfish and shallow, but I wanted her to see my dress.

“
Yes!” she cried. “If your mom’s cool with it, I can come over Sunday.”

“
Perfect.” Jake worked all day Sunday at Zinga’s. I would still get to see him after his short shift on Saturday.

I went to find Mom when I got off of the phone and ask about the other prom. She was practically bursting with maternal pride.

“
Two proms? That’s wonderful, sweetie. It will be so much fun for you!” She pursed her lips.

“
What is it?” I asked.

“
It’s just…the dress.” She took a deep breath and sighed.

And I felt my heart sink a little. It was kind of a ta-da dress. Not really one I’d want to wear twice in two weeks. Or, more to the point, not one I’d want to wear in front of my friends and another guy and also for Jake.

“
It would be crazy to buy another one,” I insisted, stifling Mom’s eager, wide-eyed suggestion-to-be. “Maybe I have something in my closet,” I suggested, though super formal wear wasn’t really something I had in abundance.

“
Oh, I do!” Mom cried. “I have something perfect! Come on.” She pulled me up to her room.

Mom and Thorsten’s room was huge and airy. There was just the big white bed, two blonde pine dressers and a big matching armoire that had their TV in it. Some of Mom’s black and white pictures were hanging in silver frames. Most of them featured me.