Junie B. Jones and Some Sneaky Peeky Spying (4 page)

“It was?” I asked.

Mrs. smiled again. “Of course it was,” she said. “It shows you know right from wrong. And it also shows that teachers make mistakes just like everybody else. Teachers aren’t perfect, Junie B.
No
one is perfect.”

After that I felt relief in me. ’Cause of no more secret, that’s why.

“Yeah, and guess what else I saw?” I said very happy. “I saw you and your strange man do a big smoochie kiss. And it was right in front of the whole entire everybody! Only you didn’t even know I was spying on you! ’Cause I’m not actually allowed to do that sneaky thing. Only my mother never even finded out!”

I smiled very proud of myself.

Except for Mrs. didn’t smile back.

And Principal didn’t smile back, too.

’Cause guess why?

Another secret just slipped out.

That’s why.

Mrs. went back to Room Nine. That’s because the bell rang to start kindergarten, of course.

Only Principal didn’t let me go too.

He said to stay in my wood chair.

Then he called Mother on the telephone. And he told her all about the grocery store. And also about my sneaky peeky spying.

Principal is a squealer.

After that, Mother said she wanted to talk to me. Only when I said hi, she didn’t even say hi back.

She said she wasn’t very happy with me, missy. And no more spying means no more spying. And we would talk about this after her work.

Then Mother said she never wants to get any more phone calls from Principal. Did I understand? Did I? Did I?

I looked at Principal.

“Mother says not to call her anymore,” I told him.

Then Mother did a loud groan in the phone. Except I don’t know why.

After that, me and her hanged up. And Principal said I could go to Room Nine. And so I runned there speedy quick.

Only too bad for me. ’Cause I got there
too late to sing “My Country Tizzy Thee…Sweet Land of Liver Free.” Which is my favorite flag song.

And so I just had to sit down at my table, and that’s all.

I showed Lucille my Band-Aid.

“See? My head’s not blowed up,” I said very happy.

“Too bad,” said a mean boy named Jim.

I made a fist at him.

Then me and him got into a scuffle.

Scuffle
is the school word for I accidentally tore his shirt.

Only guess what? I didn’t even get in trouble!

’Cause just then the grandparents came to Room Nine for Grandparents’ Day!

“HEY! THERE’S MINE! THERE’S MINE!” I hollered very excited. “MINE IS
THE GRAMPA WITH THE BALDIE HEAD!”

“Mine too!” said a girl named Charlotte.

“Mine too!” said my boyfriend named Ricardo.

Then a grandma with blond hair came in. And she had on long red fingernails. And dangling earrings with jewels on them.

“That’s my nanna!” said Lucille.

I smiled at her. “Your nanna looks like a moneybags, Lucille,” I said.

After that, another grandma came in. And she runned over to that Jim I hate. And she tried to hug him very tight.

Only that mean Jim just kept on standing there. And he didn’t even hug her back.

I tapped on her.

“I will hug you,” I said.

And so then me and her hugged real tight.

“I hate your grandboy,” I said very sweet.

Just then Mrs. clapped her loud hands together. And she made the grandparents sit down in the back of the room.

Then the children talked all about what we do in Room Nine.

“It is fun here,” said my bestest friend, that Grace. “We learn to count. And to read. And to wash our hands after we go to the bathroom.”

“And we learn recess and snacks and art,” said Ricardo.

“Art is my favorite,” I called out. “Only my art didn’t get hanged up. ’Cause I painted a horse. And his head turned out like a fat wiener sausage. And so I had to tear it up and stomp on it with my shoes.”

Then that mean Jim did a cuckoo sign at me.

And it was right in front of the whole entire grandparents!

“Yeah, only everybody makes mistakes!” I said. “Right, Mrs.? Right? ’Cause on Saturday you kissed a strange man at the grocery store. And then you stoled a bunch of grapes. And so even teachers make mistakes. Right?”

Mrs.’s face went funny. Then her skin turned the color of reddish. And her voice couldn’t say any words.

“How come you’re not talking, Mrs.?” I hollered out. “Does the dead cat got your tongue?”

Just then Grandma Miller made a loud laugh in the back of the room.

Then I heard my grampa laugh, too.

And pretty soon, lots of other grandparents were laughing and laughing.

“HEY! IT SOUNDS HAPPY IN THIS PLACE!” I hollered.

After that, Mrs. didn’t look so reddish anymore.

Then we got out the ’freshments. And Grandma Miller helped me put my cookies on a plate.

Mrs. made a ’nouncement to Room Nine. And she said only two cookies apiece for the children.

Except for I ate four delicious chocolate ones. And nobody even saw me!

Only that’s not called stealing.

That’s called
extras
.

After the ’freshments, the grandparents had to go home to their houses.

And so I hugged my grandma and grandpa very much.

And then I hugged that mean Jim’s grandma too.

And also Lucille’s moneybags nanna.

“Love your earrings,” I said.

Then Mrs. saw me being polite. And she smiled very nice at me.

Mrs. has white teeth.

They are just like Grampa Miller’s teeth. Only hers don’t come out, I think.

Except I’m not for sure positive.

And so guess what?

I still wish I could hide in her hamper.

That’s what.