Authors: Haleigh Lovell
While I stood paralyzed, my heart fluttering rapidly in my chest, Mom squawked. “Go! What the hell are you waiting for? Go! Go! Go!”
With a new sense of clarity, I swiped my keys off the kitchen counter. “All right, all right.” I threw her a hassled look. “I’m going, I’m going.”
Pausing at the door, I turned around and gave her a quick smile. “Thanks, Mom!”
Chapter Thirty-Seven
There was no climatic meeting at the top of Coit Tower on Telegraph Hill. But I did make the drive up to Nob Hill—one of San Francisco’s original seven hills and one of the main arteries of the city with Chinatown bordering its east, the grunge of the Tenderloin inhabiting its south, and the clamor of Van Ness to its west.
A white duvet of mist crept through the streets and the passing cable cars as I parallel parked on a dominating slope.
These hills were ridiculously steep.
Shape your booty
steep.
After I got out of my car, I stood on the sidewalk for a moment and pulled in a deep, steadying breath before making the trek uphill to the four-story Victorian style apartment building.
I’d always known where Julian lived, but I never made the drive out here from the suburbs.
Never had to. He’d always come to me.
When I arrived at his building, the front door unlocked with a buzz and a pizza delivery guy walked right in. Just before the door swung shut, he propped it open for me and I smiled my thanks.
Good timing.
In the elevator, my hands were so sweaty I had to wipe them on my jeans.
By the time I arrived at his door, every muscle in my body was taut with nerves.
Exhaling hard, I raised my hand to knock when the door suddenly swung open.
“Sadie.” Julian stood there, looking a little stunned.
“Hey.” I forced a smile. “Were you just about to leave?”
“I was about to go for a run.”
Shittlesticks! Bad timing.
The weight of his gaze on me was making it hard to think. “Listen.” I cleared my throat. “Can we talk?”
“Sure.” He stepped aside to allow me in. After he calmly closed the door behind him, he led me through a small kitchen to an even smaller living room.
Though the place itself was small, it was cozy. It had bright beech wood floors and was decorated with oversized furniture and heavy wooden end tables.
The walls were lined with shelves of books and picture frames.
Family pictures, I noted. Photos of his niece, his sister and her husband, an elderly couple who I presumed to be his parents, and there was even a framed picture of me.
I distinctly remembered when he’d captured that shot. We were painting the kitchen cabinets and I was grinning at the camera in a goofy pose.
It did not look like me at all. I did not ‘
do’
goofy.
But I guess he brought out that side of me.
When I turned to look at him, he was watching me, and for some reason, I felt awkward and tongue-tied in his presence. I cleared my throat again. “Nice place you got here.”
“Thanks,” he said. “I know it’s small. But it’s great for one person. Or two people who like each other very much.”
I smiled at that. “I can’t believe this is the first time I’ve ever been here.”
He nodded, but said nothing.
“How’ve you been?” I forced my voice to lightness, determined to hide my nerves.
He held my gaze steadily. “I’ve been better.”
“I’ve… uh…” I struggled for the words. “I’ve been trying to get my shit together.”
“Aren’t we all?” He continued to stare at me, letting the silence grow.
I worried my lower lip between my teeth. “I’m a train wreck, aren’t I?”
I heard him inhale sharply. Then he slowly bridged the space between us and cupped his hands against my cheeks. “You’re the train pulling your whole family along. You look after everyone else, Sadie. But who’s looking after you?”
“Me,” I blurted out. “It’s always been me and then you come into my life and you make me so fucking happy and I’m scared, Julian. I’m scared shitless. I’m scared that I’m making a big fucking mistake.”
“Has it ever occurred to you that I might be scared shitless, too?” He swallowed hard and a surge of pain passed across his face.
My heart stilled in that moment. Julian was always so upbeat, so positive, that it was easy to forget he was a man who’d had his heart broken. Not just by me, but a woman he’d loved deeply enough to propose to. And she’d ended things so abruptly with him, crushing his dreams and leaving him devastated.
We were both learning to trust, I realized.
Closing his eyes, he pressed his forehead against mine, his breathing thick and raspy. “I can’t promise you this is gonna work out. I wish I could, but there are no guarantees. You could turn around one day and decide you don’t want this anymore. But I know how I feel about you. I know I want to be with you, and if this turns out to be a big fucking mistake then let’s make it
the best
big mistake we ever made. That’s what I want.”
Then he drew back slightly and gazed at me, his eyes searching my face. “Tell me, Sadie.” His voice grew somber, serious, and even more sexy if such a thing were possible. “What do
you
want?”
“Well.” I felt a faint smile tugging at the corner of my lips. “I don’t know what I want, but in the words of the great philosopher, Selena Gomez—the heart wants what it wants.” I paused before taking the biggest risk of my life. “And my heart wants you.”
His mouth lifted in a half smile and he reached out a hand to stroke my cheek. “I’m not sure if you should listen to Selena’s advice.”
“Why not?” I asked, tilting my head.
Slowly, he traced a path along my cheekbone, regarding me with such tenderness that my heart skipped a beat. “She dated Justin Bieber.”
“True.” My lips parted, finding it hard to concentrate when he was touching me so gently and looking at me so hungrily. “But what if—”
He sealed his mouth over mine, cutting off my words and I fell deep into the kiss.
Julian kissed me like he was rediscovering the taste of me. It was slow, long and purposeful, and he stroked my tongue with his, sliding his hands through my hair.
Angling my head, I deepened the kiss, our breaths thick and moist as our tongues explored one another leisurely, lustfully, before I reluctantly pulled back. “What if this doesn’t work out?” I asked.
Without missing a beat, he answered, “What if it does?”
He held my gaze, his face like an open book, his eyes informing me just as thoroughly as his words exactly how he felt about me. About us.
And in his gaze, there was no room for worry or fear… only love.
Epilogue
Five years later…
Sadie let out a soft sigh as I spooned her from behind, my hands sliding around to cup her full breasts. She was glowing in her pregnancy, and it made her look even more beautiful. “Good morning, sexy.”
“Morning,” she murmured softly. For a while, she lay in my arms, floating somewhere in that hazy space between wakefulness and sleep. “I’ve been thinking about names.” She paused for a moment before continuing. “What do you think of Athena? Evan helped me pick out the name.”
“Anna Athena,” I mused out loud. “And what’s the meaning behind the name?”
“Athena is the goddess of wisdom and courage. And she was a fearless warrior who fought in the war against the giants.”
My lips grazed the sensitive place beneath her ear. “I can’t think of a better name for our daughter.”
“Mmm.” She sighed again. “And why is that?”
I kissed the slope of her neck. “She’s going to grow up to be just like her mom.”
She smiled at that. “Then I worry that she’ll be a hard person to love.”
“You’re not a hard person to love, Sadie. You’re a woman who loves really hard.”
“You really think so?” She rubbed against me, her ass pressing into my morning erection.
A deep growl of need rumbled in my chest. “I know so.”
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Also by Haleigh Lovell:
A New York Times & USA Today Bestseller
Available at:
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Amazon UK
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and all the online stores
**Continue reading for an excerpt from Vivian’s List
“Vivian’s List is one of my best reads of 2013.”
~ Inside The Pages of a Book
“A great love story. I’m a sucker for true love and a strong believer in love turning great sex into fantastic sexual pleasure. Vivian’s List gives validation to my belief.”
~ VO POV
“One hot ride! I was blown away by this book.”
~ Renee Entress Book Blog
“Holy Hotness! A steamy, enjoyable read!”
~ A Bookish Escape
Also by Haleigh Lovell:
Shortlisted for Goodreads List of Top Ten Romances of 2014
Standalone novel. No cliffhanger. Dual POV
Available at:
Amazon
,
Amazon UK
,
and all the online stores
“If you loved Vivian’s List, wait until you read Liam’s List. 5 stars!!”
~ Book Freak
“A HOT, HOT sexy read and a wonderful love story. It reached inside my heart, grabbed hold, and refused to let go.”
~ Falling in Fall Book Blog
“Holy hotness! Vivian and Liam set my Kindle on fire.”
~ A Bookish Escape
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**Continue reading for an excerpt from Vivian’s List.
Chapter One
Vivian
BOOM. BOOM. BOOM. BOOM.
The bass of the dance music in the club thumped in rapid repetition, vibrating my internal organs.
“Vivian!” came a deep, familiar voice.
I turned at the sound of my name. “Garrett!” I said in some surprise. “What are you doing here?”
“C’mon,” he urged, placing a hand on the small of my back. “Let me buy you a drink and we can catch up.”
“Actually—” I stalled for a bit, looking over his shoulder and scanning the crowd. “Brody went to get me a drink. He should be back any minute now.”
Garrett gave a careless shrug and popped his collar. “We can chat until he comes back, can’t we? I haven’t seen you since, what? Graduation?”