Juilliard or Else (20 page)

Tucker has a smell about him that I just couldn't get enough of. He smelled of his leather jacket, cigarettes, and spicy body wash or cologne. His hair was a big mess today and flung over to the side; he wore a white shirt with ripped jeans. No gray hoodie today, but I loved the leather jacket.

His hands came up to cup my cheeks. Tucker's blue eyes sparkled in the sunlight; they seemed bluer outside than when we were inside. I could stare and get lost in them all day long. I placed my hands on the outer side of his thighs and they moved up the more he pulled me closer to gently kiss my lips. Passion surged through my veins as his lips moved with mine, and his thumbs caressed my cheekbones as my legs wobbled beneath me. One of his hands moved to my lower back and slowly slid down to the very top of my butt to grip the top of my sweats, pulling me in closer. Our tongues tangled back and forth as the wind picked up around us. I shivered, but not from the wind; Tucker did amazing things to awaken my body on the inside.

He pulled back and breathlessly said, "Hey, baby girl."

I smiled at his swollen lips, red and plumped from our heated kiss. "Hey," came out in one breath.

Tucker hopped down, taking my bag to sling over his shoulder, then grabbed a hold of my hand. "I came to walk you home."

"Thank you, that's so sweet of you."

"How was your day?"

"Frustrating, but it got better at the end of class."

"Is that what took you so long?"

"Yeah, I couldn't get a pirouette turn down, so my teacher made me sit out the rest of the class and she helped me after everyone left. I thought she was definitely going to kick me out."

"A what turn?"

I giggled, "A pirouette turn. It's just a turn that ballerinas do on pointe." When he continued to stare at me like I was talking gibberish to him, I said, "Remember, up on pointe? Like you did up on your toes?"

"Oh yeah. Sorry, that stuff goes right over my head." Tucker whistled as his spare hand went flying above his head.

"I'm sure if you tried to teach me how to tattoo, that would go right over my head." I repeated his same action with my hand and the whistle. He chuckled and wrapped his arm around my shoulder then kissed my cheek.

When we made it to my apartment, I introduced Tucker to our doorman, Michael. Mostly, it was for security reasons, I told Tucker. I pulled him to the elevator, but he didn't walk with me. He pulled me back into his arms and pecked my lips.

"I can't go up with you," he told me as he set down my ballet bag at our feet.

"Why not?"

He let out a big breath, "I gotta go away for a couple of days." He brought our hands up to the middle of our bodies and kisses the top of my knuckles.

"Where are you going?"

"I can't tell you. It's a favor for Brad. I have to keep my phone off and can't call you, but I wanted to come tell you, walk you home and to do this."

Tucker's hands dropped mine to cup my face again and kiss me so deeply that my legs gave out. He pretty much had to drag me up against the cold marble wall by the elevator to keep my body upright as he pinned me against it. Tucker was hungry for my tongue as he ate my mouth alive. I loved it. His pelvis pushed hard into mine. He possessed my body with just one heated passionate kiss between us.

"God, Gabs. You do something inside me that makes me want to be a better person. You're pure. That's why I gotta go and do this: sever ties, pretty much. That's the only way I can explain it right now. I really like kissing you, though."

And he kissed me again before I could even ask him what he meant. This was more of a good-bye kiss, soft and sweet. I didn't want to let him go, but he pulled away and walked out of my building, leaving me breathless as always. It was already too late; I was falling for him so fast. I was in trouble. That night I did get a text from him saying, "Goodnight, baby girl".

Ballet class on Thursday went a little smoother. I think Madame Ava didn't want to call on me at all during our run through and practices for the
Swan Lake
auditions that were coming up in October. She explained to us again that she expected all of us to try out for the part of Odette/Odile no matter what. Even if we felt like we wouldn't get the part, she wanted us all to be there. I watched every girl in my class as a competition, which wasn't right. We were all here to support each other, but I was determined to get this part. Jasmine moved across the wood floor with grace as always. She was untouchable to everyone.

Class was over without Madame Ava yelling at me. Jasmine continued her stupid glares at me whenever it was my turn. I was waiting for Jade and Rachel outside when Jon came up to me. His blond hair was spikey, sticking straight up, and his brown eyes were warm. He had a great smile as well, with nice, perfectly straight teeth.

"Hey Abigail."

"Hi Jon." I smiled.

"I just saw you standing here and was wondering if you needed a ride or… anything?" He laughed nervously, shoving his hands deep in his pockets as he shifted from foot to foot. Before I could even answer him, Jasmine was at his side, linking her arm through his.

Of course Jasmine did her signature glare towards me with her own devil brown eyes. "Jon, we need to go," she said, smiling up at him and he smiled down to her. They were a couple? I didn't know that.

"See ya, Abigail." Jasmine pulled Jon away, but she stopped to look at me one more time. "Tell Tucker I said hey, though."

My stomach dropped. Tucker knew her? My chest started to hurt as I let the words sink in. I wanted to punch something. I was confused. I hated having that feeling where everything hurts from seeing or hearing something you weren't expecting, like a brick sitting in your stomach. My breaths picked up and I didn't even hear Jade's voice as she was saying my name to get my attention. I watched Jon open the passenger door for Little Miss Snob who knew Tucker. I really wanted to pull on her tight bun to rip it out of her perfectly shaped head.

Jade pulled on my arm so I faced her, but it was too late. The same thing that always happened when Carol frustrated me couldn't be stopped. The ache in my stomach turned over again and I felt my throat open up. I barely had anytime to launch my body over the cement wall Tucker sat on just yesterday, and I heaved up my stomach acid.

"Oh damn it," Jade grunted out. "Gabs, get up before Rachel see you like this and she flips a lid."

I was dizzy and nauseous, which made me sicker, but I managed to straighten out my body while Jade wiped my mouth off with the hem of my black sweatshirt, then shoved a piece of gum in my mouth. I chewed the mint stick mixed with my nasty stomach acid in my mouth and tried my best to swallow back my gross saliva.

"Who was the devil bitch you were talking to?"

Taking deep breaths, I replied, "Jasmine. She's in my class and she's Miss Little Goody Perfect Ballet Shoe Girl. I got offered a ride by a guy in our class and she came up, made him leave, and then told me to tell Tucker freaking hi!" I yelled at Jade, not caring about anyone around us and my rant. My arms were flinging around like a mad person. The one person who I just didn't get along with knew Tucker.

When Rachel caught up with us, we walked home. I was silent the entire way; Jade threw me looks over Rachel's shoulders, but I kept my eyes in front. I was quiet when I made chicken and peppers for dinner. I was quiet when we ate dinner; I even went out to the balcony to smoke by myself. Again, I never pegged myself as a smoker before, but right now, it calmed me down and helped clear my head. Rachel and Jade kept their distance from me; I was grateful. I needed the space for a little bit. I flicked my last bit of cigarette over the railing and went to my bathroom to shower. I heard the chime of my phone, but my body didn't react all excited to the noise, hoping it would be Tucker. I turned the water on all the way hot and let it beat down on my head. When I finished my shower, I brushed my teeth and climbed into my bed.

I laid in the darkness for a little bit, staring at my ceiling in my own little world. My phone lit up my room, showing the shadows on the walls. Reaching over to grab my phone, it was connected to the charger.

2 new messages from Tucker

I opened them; I didn't have to reply back to him, but I wanted to know what he said.

Tucker:
Hey baby girl ;)

Tucker:
Just wanted to say hey, but you must be asleep. Night, baby girl.

I swallowed a huge, dry lump in my throat. It took everything I had not to text back. Instead, I locked my phone and set my alarm then snuggled deep into my comforter, feeling very lost and confused.

Class the next day was good and I made it to the fifth spot in the line. With Madame Ava's help, I was able to perform the triple pirouette without any more problems. I did it every time with excellence. Every time I was upfront in class, I could always hear Jasmine do something to humiliate me: coughing, clearing her throat. I knew she was just trying to distract me in some way. Jon didn't talk to me during or after class; I didn't really care, though. If he was with Jasmine, then he was lost.

Madame Ava gave us the dates of the auditions for
Swan Lake
. Eight A.M. sharp and we were not to be late. If we were late, then that was it; we didn't get to audition. I put all the information in my phone calendar as a reminder.

Rachel, Jade, and I went out to lunch after class. Brad and Tucker were gone; Jett wouldn't give me any information about him when he met us there. I asked him once and he just said, "He'll be back. He always comes back," whatever that meant. I wanted to ask more questions, but every time I opened my mouth, Jade would either start talking or kick me under the table.

Jett invited us back to his tattoo shop along with Jade, but I just wanted to go home. Rachel hailed a cab and it took us back to the apartment.

"Isn't tomorrow your dinner with your dad?"

I nodded, "Yep, it sure is."

"Nervous at all?" Rachel asked, popping her gum and smacking it together.

"Nah, this is an annual thing he does at the end of the year." Undoing my tight bun and running my fingers through my hair felt nice. Rachel and I curled up on the couch together in our jammies and watched another one of the girlie movies she loved. Turns out, Rachel was a huge Johnny Depp fan; she looked up to him as an actor.

"He can play any part, even if it's creepy weird or serious acting. That man knows how to act."

I just shook my head whenever she brought that up. Jade came home late, but I was in bed, staring at the ceiling. Still nothing from Tucker, but that was okay. My brain was still confused on how Jasmine even knew I was with Tucker. Well, I wasn't with him. I just really liked him. But still, "Tell Tucker I say hey,"
ran through my thoughts. I had to ask him about it. Thinking about my approach made my eyes get heavy and then they slowly shut.

I did so many twists and turns in the shared bathroom, taking in so many angles of the gown I bought with Rachel. I had Rachel help me with my hair earlier; she did a beautiful job with the loose curls, then pinned it up on one side with the rest falling down on the other. She also helped me with my makeup, but didn't go too crazy like the night we went to the club. She used soft browns and a hint of gold and the gold matched the clutch purse she let me borrow.

I think I'm good and ready to go. Walking out into our living room, I spotted Jade out on the balcony on her cell phone; it was a really good chance that she was talking to Jett. Those two, I swear, were like peas and carrots; they were just perfect for each other. I knocked on the glass window and she turned; I waved bye and she gave me the bird.