Judy Moody Saves the World! (7 page)

A few minutes later, Stink and Rocky ran back outside. Stink waved an envelope in the air. “Hey you, up there,” said Stink. “Judy Monarch Moody.”

“What now?” asked Judy.

“You got a letter from the Crazy Strips Contest!” Rocky yelled up at her.

“Really?” said Judy, looking down from her perch. “Open it and read it to me.”

“No way,” said Stink. “You have to come down and find out for yourself.”

“I’m not going to fall for that trick, Stink,” said Judy.

“I’ll read it,” said Stink. He opened the envelope. He unfolded the letter.
“Dear Judy Moody,”
read Stink. “I guess they don’t know your middle name is Monarch.”

“Just read it!” said Judy.

“Congratulations! You are a winner of the Crazy Strips Design Your Own Bandage Contest.”

Judy could not believe her ears! She dropped down from her branch in Luna Two like a leopard to its prey. “Let me see that!” Out loud, she read,

Stink and Rocky cracked up as bad as a Brazil nut.

“STINK!” Judy wailed. “You tricked me. This is not from the Crazy Strips Company. You got me out of my tree because the dentist missed my smile?”

“It worked,” said Stink.

“Take a good look at this smile,” said Judy, baring her teeth, Siberian tiger–style.

“Does this mean I can’t have your room?” asked Stink.

“ROAR!” said Judy.

When Judy, Stink, and Rocky got off the bus after school the next day, Stink called, “Race you to the mailbox!” But Judy did not run after Stink. She stayed right where she was so she could watch Rocky do his new disappearing-bubble-gum trick. That’s when they heard Stink yell from across the street, “The Crazy Strips Contest! Judy, you won!” He waved an envelope in the air.

“Stink, you lie like a rug!” Judy said. “I’m not falling for that trick again.”

“It says CONTEST WINNER. Right here in fat red letters. See?”

“If this is a trick,
you’re
up a tree,” Judy said, crossing the street.

“Maybe it’s not a trick this time,” said Rocky, walking beside her. “What did she win?”

“Rollerblades!” said Stink.

“Rollerblades do not fit in an envelope, Stink.”

“Maybe you’re a runner-up, then,” said Stink. “Maybe you won sunglasses.”

“Sunglasses don’t fit in an envelope either. Give it.” Judy grabbed the envelope and tore it open.

“Certificate?” yelled Judy. “That’s all I get for HEAL THE WORLD? One crummy certificate? A certificate is not even close to Rollerblades. A certificate will not decorate the ankles of millions.”

“An Honorable Mention certificate is like winning second place,” said Rocky.

Judy covered up her ears. “Don’t even
mention
the word certificate again.”

“At least you got
something,
” Stink said.

“Yeah,” Rocky said. “Stink didn’t even get a certificate.”

That cheered Judy up a little. “Well, at least I get to hang something in the Moody Hall of Fame on the fridge.”

Just then, Stink dropped the mail. Catalogs and envelopes blew every which way. “Help!” yelled Stink. A letter flew out from inside a catalog and landed on the driveway.

“Wait!” called Stink, picking up the letter. “I got one too!”

“Let’s see if you still think certificates are so great,” said Judy.

Stink took his time opening the envelope.

“Stink, I’ll be in fourth grade by the time you get that open. Hurry up. Read it!”

Stink read the letter.

“Crazy Strip of the Month!” said Stink, jumping up and down and waving the letter in the air. “I got Crazy Strip of the Month!”

“Let me see that.” Judy read the letter with her own eyes. How could this happen? Her very own stinky little brother won Crazy Strip of the Month!

“What’s wrong with these people?” cried Judy, shaking the letter. Did they have bats in their belfries? Band-Aids for brains? “Don’t they know bats have beady little eyes and squished-up noses like pigs? Don’t they know bats look like vampires?”

“At least they don’t look like flying footballs,” said Stink.

“Don’t they even care about healing the world?” Judy said.

“Big-eared bats are endangered,” said Stink. “Putting them on a Crazy Strip is like healing the world.”

“ROAR!” said Judy. Big-eared bats were going to decorate the ankles of millions. Meanwhile, the entire state of Virginia would be stepping on northeast beach tiger beetles and not even knowing it.

“Hey! What about your Rollerblades?” asked Rocky.

“It says here I won a pair of Crazy Strips sunglasses,” said Stink.

“That must be your prize,” said Rocky, pointing to a big box on the porch. Stink and Rocky ran over, with Judy right behind them.

“It’s from the Crazy Strips company!” said Stink. “My sunglasses!”

“They must be sunglasses for a rhino,” said Judy.

“Maybe they messed up and sent you Rollerblades by mistake,” said Rocky.

“I hope they’re black with a red racing stripe and a silver —”

“Stink! Just open the box!” said Judy.

Stink ripped into the box. It was not Rollerblades. It was not sunglasses for a rhino. It was Crazy Strips. Tons of Crazy Strips. Gazillions of Crazy Strips. A lifetime supply! At least ten boxes!

“Rare!” whispered Judy.

“Wow-wee!” said Rocky. “I’ve never seen so many Crazy Strips.”

“I have,” said Stink, pointing to Judy, Queen of the Crazy Strips. “But these are M-I-N-E, mine.”

“You drew this?” asked Rocky, looking at Stink’s design. “Double cool.”

“Wow, your very own original Crazy Strip,” said Judy. She couldn’t help feeling like a green bean.
Green
with envy.

“Hey! Here’s my sunglasses,” said Stink, digging down to the bottom of the box. They were shaped like a Band-Aid. He put them on and looked at the sun. “They really work!” said Stink.

“Luck-y!” said Judy. “Those will protect you from that giant hole in the ozone over Antarctica.”

Stink had his own Crazy Strip! Her very own batty little brother was now as famous as Josephine Dickson, Inventor of the Adhesive Bandage. If it weren’t for that giant hole in the sky, she, Judy Moody, would move to Antarctica.

“Do you think they have bats in Antarctica?” Judy asked.

“Frozen bats,” said Stink.

Ow-oooo!
Judy tipped her head toward the ozone and let out one long howler-monkey howl.