Judith Miller - [Daughters of Amana 01] (41 page)

My father agreed. “Mrs. Harwell tells me that it was constructed by a wealthy Easterner when he moved to the area, but after his wife died, he couldn’t bear to live in the house any longer. He returned to his former home, and the place sat vacant for a number of years. Finally he decided it should be sold.”

After tying the reins, Father assisted me down from the carriage. “Let’s go in and see if Mrs. Harwell is here. If not, we may have to take a room at the hotel.”

I wasn’t certain which I would prefer—an immediate tour of the school or a delay of the process. However, I didn’t have to worry for long. A bell jangled when we entered the front door. Soon Mrs. Harwell appeared in the foyer, and after a brief meeting our tour began. While we proceeded through classrooms and living quarters, Mrs. Harwell explained the variety of opportunities afforded her students.

“You share your room with one other young lady, and we do our best to see that your personalities are compatible. Sharing a room may prove difficult for a short time, but acquiring the ability to live in harmony is a useful skill—and our rooms are large.” She opened the door to one of the unoccupied rooms as if to prove her point. The sun-filled room was cheery and more than adequate for two girls. “We have a large library and study room downstairs, and our grounds provide a lovely respite for those times when the girls want some solitude.”

The place itself appealed, but I wasn’t convinced it would hold my interest for long. “I’ve already taken many of the classes you offer, Mrs. Harwell. I’m not certain the school teaches much that would be new for me. My father will confirm that I bore easily.”

Her laughter echoed down the long hallway. “Then this is indeed the perfect place for you, Berta. Because my husband is an instructor at the university, we have enlisted the aid of several teachers from the college. They come to our school and instruct young ladies like you who are prepared for more advanced classwork. I believe you would find the classes a challenge.”

“Your students live here—even in the summer?”

She nodded. “Some of them do, especially if their parents are traveling or live in Europe. Others go on holiday with their parents for the summer months. We have a schedule that permits whatever is needed by the girl and her family. It is a choice you and your parents will make if you decide to come here.”

We walked to the rear veranda, and Mrs. Harwell waved to several girls sitting beneath a leafy elm tree. “Let me introduce you to some of the girls. You can visit with them for a while, and I’ll go over paper work with your father.”

“But I haven’t—”

She patted my shoulder. “I know you haven’t made up your mind, but if you decide to attend, I’ll have already answered your father’s questions.” She glanced at my father. “I’ll be right back. You can wait here on the veranda.”

After the introductions were made, Mrs. Harwell left me on my own. I was wary of the welcoming friendliness of the girls. At first I was convinced they’d been threatened with punishment if they didn’t make potential students feel wanted, but as we continued to visit, I changed my opinion.

“Whether you stay all year or for only a portion of the year, I think you will be happy here, Berta,” one of the girls said. “I go home to be with my family during the Christmas holidays and for a few weeks during the summer, but I much prefer being here. And some of the girls who stay here through the Christmas holiday can tell you that Mrs. Harwell makes it quite special.”

The girls had few complaints—mostly they weren’t particularly fond of the meals. “We had a wonderful cook, but she left us to move west with her husband. The new cook has been less than stellar, but Mrs. Harwell is seeking a replacement. She does listen to our complaints and makes every attempt to create an enjoyable life for us.”

“Her husband is quite nice, as well. Somewhat older, but unlike my parents, they seem devoted to each other,” another said.

When they had answered all the questions I could think of, I excused myself. “I think I should join my father.”

“It was nice to meet you, Berta. I hope you’ll return and become one of us,” still another said.

As I made my way across the grassy expanse, I turned to wave at the girls. Could I be happy here? Would it be better than living in Amana? I wasn’t certain.

Mrs. Harwell greeted me as I returned to the house. “What do you think, Berta?”

“The girls are very nice, and I don’t think any other school in the area offers as many classes or such lovely rooms, but I’m still unsure that I want to live away from my parents. Must I decide today?”

“No, of course not. I’m sure your father agrees that this isn’t a decision you should enter into until you feel comfortable with your choice, isn’t that correct, Dr. Schumacher?”

“Indeed.” My father lightly squeezed my shoulder. “We can talk on the way home. After we return to Amana and visit with your mother, there will be plenty of time to decide.”

“And if you don’t want to enroll until September, that’s fine, as well,” Mrs. Harwell said. “I’ve told your father that we currently have two openings. I’m continuing to advertise to fill those vacancies, but we’ll trust that if you decide to return, an opening will be available.” A train whistle sounded in the distance and Mrs. Harwell looked at the grandfather clock that stood guard in the foyer. “If you hurry, you can get to the station before the train departs for Amana.”

We said hasty good-byes, and although Father did his best to prod the horse to a trot, the animal seemed determined to keep his pace at a walk. When we arrived at the train station, Father removed our baggage. “You go inside and purchase our tickets while I return the buggy to the livery.”

The train hissed and belched as I anxiously paced back and forth on the platform. I heaved a sigh of relief when I spotted Father rushing toward me. I waved him forward. “Our bags have already been loaded. I was afraid you wouldn’t get here on time.”

“I’m sorry, but it took longer at the livery than I anticipated,” he said as we hurried aboard the train and dropped into our seats. He withdrew a handkerchief and wiped the perspiration from his forehead. “I haven’t run a footrace in quite some time. That one about did me in.” He grinned and tucked the handkerchief back into his pocket.

The train ride to Homestead wouldn’t take long, but we’d have a carriage ride to Amana afterward. There would be more than sufficient time to consider my options.

We arrived in Main Amana well after prayer services, and Mother was surprised to see us home. The three of us talked at length, and though I saw a glimmer of warmth in my mother’s eyes, I knew it would take time before trust would return.

When there was a lull in our conversation, I finally mustered my courage. “How is Lydia? Has the broken bone mended? What about the burns?”

“She is doing quite well. It will take time before she has completely healed, and she may bear some scars, but most of the broth splashed onto the floor. For that we are thankful. We can’t be sure about the broken arm. It seems the bones splintered and didn’t set in a proper fashion. The doctor says she may never regain full use of the arm.”

My heart plummeted. “I will go visit her tomorrow. Is she able to work in the Küche?”

My mother nodded. “She has been there the past two days.”

“I want to ask the elders for permission to speak at a meeting so that I can apologize and ask forgiveness for my behavior.”

My mother clasped her hand across her heart. “That would be the right thing to do, Berta. No matter what you decide about your future, I think your apology would be well received.”

Father scooted forward on his chair. “I’ll go with you. We can ask Brother Frank if the elders will meet with you tomorrow after evening prayer service. Then you can speak before the church on Sunday.”

Tomorrow was Saturday. I wouldn’t have much time to change my mind. I shivered at the thought of everyone seeing me—knowing what they must think. I lowered my head and stared at the floor.

My mother had sounded confident I would be well received, but when I slipped into bed I wasn’t so sure. Maybe the elders wouldn’t let me speak. Even worse, what if they gave me permission and I made a fool of myself? Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea. I rolled to my side and whispered a prayer that God would show me what to do. I didn’t have much faith in the prayer. Why should God take time with the likes of me when there were lots of good people who needed His help?

I awakened well before dawn, dressed in the plain calico, made my way down the front steps, and hurried off toward the Küche. I don’t know who was more surprised to see me, Sister Muhlbach or Lydia, for my presence rendered them speechless.

“I’ve come to apologize to both of you for my irresponsible behavior.” Though the sleeve of her dress covered the burn, my gaze settled on Lydia’s broken arm. “I hope you haven’t suffered terribly, Lydia, and I’m sorry I didn’t come to see you before I ran off. I just didn’t have the courage. I don’t deserve your forgiveness, but I want you to know that I am very sorry.”

I gulped when she stepped forward and embraced me. “It isn’t all your fault, Berta. I know the rules even better than you. I shouldn’t have encouraged you. We both disobeyed. You could have been injured, too.” She turned back the sleeve of her dress. “The burns are healing, and I don’t care what the doctor says. I’m going to work with this arm until I can use it just as well as before I fell down.” My apology to Sister Muhlbach wasn’t as well received.

“I am pleased to see you are in good health, Berta, but before I will agree to have you work in my Küche, I need more than words. You have apologized in the past. This time I will need to know you are willing to change.” She measured out flour for the Sunday morning coffee cakes while she continued to talk. “I’m sure Sister Rosina could use more help in the garden.”

“I don’t expect you to want me back in the kitchen, Sister Muhlbach. I didn’t come for that. I came to apologize to you and Lydia before I go before the elders and ask for permission to speak at meeting tomorrow. I want to ask forgiveness. I have caused you and Lydia the most harm, so I wanted to speak to you alone.” I hesitated a moment. “And Mr. Barton. I do wish you hadn’t discharged him.”

She poured the bowl of cracked eggs into the flour mixture and added milk. “Mr. Barton is a grown man. He knew the rules, and I gave him more than one chance.” She stirred the mixture with vigor. “Besides, we both know he was lazy. Now go and help Lydia set the table for breakfast.”

I hid in the kitchen while breakfast was served. I couldn’t force myself to sit at one of the women’s tables.

When the meal was over, my father found me. “I told Brother Frank that you wish to speak to the elders this evening. He said he would arrange the meeting.”

I didn’t know whether to feel relieved or frightened. While I knew this was the right thing to do, standing before the elders would be fearsome.

That evening when my father tapped on my door, I nearly jumped out of my skin. “It’s time, Berta.” The elders had decided we would meet prior to prayer service. I would have fifteen minutes to say my piece.

Arriving at the meetinghouse, my father squeezed my hand and told me I should speak from my heart. “Tell the truth and remain calm.”