JR (98 page)

on the wire oh and Hyde before they start shooting Mister Bast ask him to take off his hearing aid, want some good shots of him and the Senator get the Brook brothers in there any local color all those feathers going that hearing aid might look… haven't briefed him on it no he's been wrapped up on another project pretty worn down not much of a fireball to start with he may need a little prodding to get into the spirit of… don't worry about it goodbye oh and Hyde… ?

Hung up on me, ties up the phone for twenty minutes and hangs up on me wanted him to check out these appliance invoices at the other end make sure the Boss been at you on that yet Beamish? writing off these appliances at retail?

—No, the entire transaction is one with which I …

—Saw that Wall Street Journal crack didn't you about Typhon International tying the can to Endo in that agreement to divest nothing but backdated inventory whole thing happened before I came on deck here probably one of Crawley's stunts, only reason the Boss could give for taking it on according to Bast was because it was cheap didn't

know what to do with it till I thought of this gang of Indians give them the whole kit and kaboodle get them on our side of the fence on these leases and write off the cost but you know how the Boss thinks every loss a profit, wants the tax write-off at retail like those dated drugs in the Nobili…

—I would have to review the figures Mister Davidoff but while we have the matter under discussion there are aspects of this enterprise I find frankly disturbing. You may well regard me as old-fashioned but I find posing as benefactors to these Indians simply in order to take advantage of their rights to possible mineral or gas deposits on their lands quite as distasteful as advertising chewing gum and…

—We don't do it first Beamish somebody else will, got them under the gun now with a move to pull their wigwams right out from under them be lucky to get off the reservation with their hats and their asses, spring this historical pageant to pull them together follow up on the publicity get their claims established and they can sink their teeth in this royalty arrangement with the Alsaka subsidiary put a little wampum under their belts for a rainy day see this Forbes' piece Showdown at Broken Bow? Probably got it all from Crawley on the phone again yesterday about these Alberta and Western sites said he'd talked to you on these mining claims…

—He did yes, the other party appears prepared to raise his offer on the power company properties you mention, provided his earlier offer on the mining claims area is accepted in order to avoid what could become a costly and drawn out action threatening the validity of the claims themselves. Mister Crawley was particularly concerned about Mister Bast, he seems to take a great interest in him and stressed his wish to relieve Mister Bast of time-consuming complications, and since Mister Crawley appears to have substantial dealings both with J R Corp principals and the other party a Mister Stamper I believe, and is acting

merely as go-between…

—Just brought in Stamper for window dressing Beamish, hunting crony of his see the big game film those two put together million zebras running for their lives you'd paint stripes on your ass and run too, rides around his end of Texas in a Cadillac can of beer in his hand answering police calls converted his old slave cabins to fancy guest cottages I just heard he got so mad when he saw his new tax assessment he went out and burned them all down, big overgrown kid never got past fourth grade Bast told me once the Boss never got out of sixth frankly sometimes I believe it, he runs that assay on the water at Wonder Brewery comes across smaltite traces and has Nonny put in for a mineral depletion allowance tipped his hand to the FDA coming down hard on cobalt safety levels now Milliken jumps in to protect home industry only thing they had besides sheep and Indians till he suddenly gets the idea his state is one big cobalt nickel arsenic deposit looks over the stockpile scene and hauls the Undersecretary up before his committee on the contract he negotiated for Typhon to set up this smelting operation in Gandia and buy it back as surplus, supply U S cobalt stockpile requirements from it and sell the nickel and anything else they come up with on the side wherever Pythian Overseas has a market, that's who your other party in this deal is Beamish I've worked with Moncrieff nobody to tangle assholes with…

—No I had hardly considered the possib…

—Any cobalt in sight Typhon wants to sit on it pressure on them from Pythian has this war going in Gandia to secede Uaso province smelter minerals and all turn the whole thing into a company town, defense minister Doctor Dé steps over declares a republic and you get Broos speaking up in the Senate for self-determination for the people of this gallant little emerging nation, pleads for nonintervention and sponsors a bill prohibiting imports with Gandia as country of origin. Nowun-da's government trying to hold things together take help anyplace they can get it so Milliken votes for the Broos bill backs the U N resolution supporting Nowunda's government and wakes up in bed with China Albania and…

—Mister Davidoff excuse me again for interrupting but as interesting as all of this is I believe we are straying from…

—Just getting to these bellies, Bast been at you about them yet?

—Mister Bast? about, bellies… ?

—Pork bellies frozen dried may not know any more about them than I do the Boss has been hedging in them on the side must have Crawley up to his ass on margin some deal going on a trade if Nowunda holds out takes a stiff royalty on mineral exports solve this problem at Ray-X getting rhodium for thermocouples on these government fixed price contracts why the Boss pushed Haight so hard on these Pentagon research contracts had Ray-X borrow on the strength of them, put in later for a cost overrun and come out on top only problem was coming up with the products, got in a topflight R and D man through Mister

Ten-forty worked with him for years says he has a topflight track record in the academic field looking for a place where his mind could turn loose and soar, all in that release on Frigicom oh Virginia told you to dig up that Frigicom release, got the City Council biting on the noise pollution end have to check it out with Washington work into this talk for the security analyst boys get me Colonel Moyst on the phone check his new number, Haight got him transferred over to procurement oh and Virginia that black still sitting over there looking at pictures thought we got rid of him doesn't speak English what does he speak…

—It sounded maybe like French Mister Davidoff only I don't know what French sounds like so …

—Get Skinner's gal out there maybe she can parley vous find out what he's doing here knock before you go in oh and Virginia, something here about a shipment from Hong Kong says plastic flowers must be those sweaters they sent that fiber over from Eagle for, get Hopper out of that whatever he's eating long enough to find out who's this on the phone, Moyst?

—No they said it's for Mister Bast about these musicians that…

—Tell them to leave a number have Bast get back to them when he rolls in oh and…

—But Mister Bast is …

—Here better take it myself can't tell what he, hello … ? No he's not what… Don't worry about it just give me your figures probably be handling this end anyhow what… Taping the whole thing yes told him I thought we should get a topflight name band like the Boston Pops package deal wrap up the whole… Mister Bast said what? What's he got against the Boston … make any piece of music sound like elephants doing what… ? No no go ahead whatever he told you, he's the … Wait what about rehearsal time what's the going… don't rehearse for recording sessions then how do they… get ninety dollars for the basic three hour session ought to wrap the whole thing up in one… what?

Fifteen minutes of usable recording from each session why can't… All right suppose they get twenty minutes suppose they get sixty what… Fifteen minutes maximum thought you just told me there's no rehearsing what are they doing then playing with their … No no go ahead whatever he told you he's the … Ninety-five men that brings it to zero, five, eighty-five fifty for each… what do you mean eighty-six forty five times nine is … Ninety-six thought you said Mister Bast wanted ninety-fi… the contractor gets paid double? How many… don't

know how long it is no he's still… Well how long is a symphony give me a … just to give me a ballpark figure forty-five minutes that's three of your three hour sessions eighty-six forty each brings us up around twenty-six thousand ought to cover the whole… without studio rental just your boys in the band add on … orchestra yes add on … what?

Rental of instruments what do you mean your boys don't even own… Look would I take on a job as a writer show up without a pencil?

What's the… kettledrum no I don't own a kettledrum don't play the

kettledrum if I played the kettledrum I'd own a … think the Boston Pops has to go out and rent a kettledrum every time they play the Blue Danube? What do you … no whatever he told you don't worry about it we'll get back to you see what I mean Beamish, get local eight-o-one in there might as well just get a comb and toilet paper while you're here get to Hopper on squashing that union injunction Shorter brought when the Boss pulled those looms out for South America, gave his boy that whole territory for Wonder Beer making such a mess of it the Boss wants this settled before we have to buy him out might want to bring Bast in on it knows the Eagle picture first hand thought I just heard him in there…

—I had thought I heard a piano, however…

—Must have come in while we were fixing Duncan up in the bedroom there see what it's like running the store with an exec who…

—But do you mean Mister Bast is here? in there? playing the piano?

—In there playing the piano see what it's like running the…

—Excellent just let me go in and speak with him it should take only a moment to clear up this…

—Wouldn't bother him Beamish gets in there shuts that door wouldn't interrupt him unless the Boss called or the place caught fire, pressure on him to clean up this project get this grant out so there's no legal snag in the Foundation's tax exempt status when he goes into it for a loan to Virginia told you to get Moyst…

—Moist?

—Moyst Colonel Moyst told you to get him on the phone don't have to bother Bast on these questions you have about Eagle Beamish probably clear them up myself, the Boss is talking about handing the whole thing over to the town for a park and speedway write these leases off as a gift if you can get him a high enough appraisal on them get some help from Hopper over there on that, any more trouble from this Begg woman with her stockholder suit say he's acting for the stockholders cutting costs move operations south if he has to to hang onto his tax umbrella Shorter's union boys don't like it tell them their jobs are waiting for them in Georgia, set up down there with cheap equipment for fast replacement under deductible maintenance expenses won't have to wait around on this capital goods depreciation allowance think he just wants you to check out that end of it, you know what a stickler he is for the letter of …

—The law I do Mister Davidoff I do, however may I say this constant near frenzied emphasis on the letter of the law at the expense of, in fact too frequently in direct defiance of its spirit, is something I frankly find…

—What lawyers are for isn't it Beamish wasn't for that you'd be out selling pencils…

—Perhaps but however that may be, in this particular instance corporate activities seem so preponderantly inspired by such negative considerations as depreciation and depletion allowances, loss

carryforwards tax write-offs and similar…

—Way the big boys think Beamish why the Boss is where he is and we're down here pushing pencils, goes right to the gut issue and sends through a directive some of them so blunt almost sound simple minded hardly understand him on the phone half the time either, spend an hour afterward putting the pieces together get the feeling myself sometimes he does the grunting and we do the work but that's Moyst on the phone Virginia? No here just give it to me hello, Colonel… ? Oh yes sir … No no sir yes sir no sir … Yes sir no it won't happen again sir no sir … Yes sir I know you haven't been a colonel since nineteen for … Yes sir I… Saint Fiacre in the Ardennes offensive yes sir I… that General Box took all the credit for throwing off the whole German timetable yes I do sir he … that Bradley and Ike were completely unprepared yes sir I'm sure the readers of your memoirs will want to see the true light shed on … your memoirs yes sir is that what you called about sir? We have a topflight… sir? Oh about the university yes sir we … all arranged in your name yes sir we … in your name yes of course affirmative sir we… sir? To name the entire university after you sir … ? Yes well no sir we … Yes I understand sir yes sir however they… through channels yes sir however certain… the football team yes sir however certain alumni active in the football team's behalf feel that it might sound … No sir that Haight U sir might be misinterpreted as sounding … the proper aggressive spirit for the gridiron yes sir

however the cheerlead… going coeducational yes sir the cheerlead… the university's major academic attraction yes sir the cheerlead … sir? Yes sir we certainly will sir now if I can take one more minute of your time sir to … One minute of your time yes sir to call your attention to an item in this latest memo from… sir? The next time I speak with him I certainly will sir now if I can take one more min… sir? Magazines… ?

Yes sir we'll send over any we can find immediately sir and sir? If I can take one… sir? Virginia hang this up if he calls again tell him he's, tell him I'm sending over some old magazines anything you can find in there sitting on his royal red white and what's this…

—The hotel bill Mister Davidoff this bellboy just brought it up he they want…

—Tack it on the agency billing and get that typed up I want Bast's okay on it before he checks out what's wait Beamish…

—I do have another appointment Mister Davidoff I'd better be off to it, since telephone appears to be the most efficient means of communicating with you I shall make an attempt to …