Journey of Hope: A Novel of Triumph and Heartbreak on the Oregon Trail in 1852 (25 page)

“Oh—I guess I just assumed…I mean we’ve talked so much about marriage and what our lives will be like in Oregon.”

“You should never assume anything when it comes to women, James.” She grew more serious. “I want to be asked properly—formally.”

They were beneath the trees now, and the early evening light softened her features. The branches arched over them like the roof of a chapel. The stream gurgled around rocks and boulders. James took Rebecca’s shoulders and turned her towards him. He slowly bent on one knee and took her hands in his. He looked up into the sweet face he had grown to love. Her warm eyes regarded him tenderly.

“Rebecca, I love you more than I ever thought it was possible to love anyone. I can’t imagine my life without you in it. You have been my rock. I know that you could do so much better than me, but I hope that you will consent to accepting my hand in marriage.” He looked so earnest, and his words were spoken with a sincerity that she knew was heartfelt.

Rebecca hardly noticed the tears streaming down her face when she nodded and said, “Yes, James. I will be your wife.”

He rose and kissed her gently, his arms enfolding her.

“Please let me know when I act so stupidly again. I never want to take you for granted, Rebecca.”

“Oh, don’t worry, James. I’ll keep you informed.”

The Confidante

Chapter Twenty-Four

Mile 1635

Brenna Flannigan walked into The Browns’ camp. She knew she wouldn’t be intruding since she had seen Abel talking with the captain. She was excited about the prospect of borrowing one of Emily’s books. Buster came running to her panting happily. She reached down to scratch his ears and then thought better of it when she smelled him.

“Where have you been, Buster? You smell like you’ve rolled in some kind of manure!”

“Brenna! I was hoping you would come by today. Would you like to take a look at my books?”

“I’d love to!” Brenna said with enthusiasm.

They went into the tent and over to where Emily had a crate of books. “These are the only ones left. I had to leave three other boxes in Independence.” She giggled. “They are pretty heavy.”

Brenna scanned the titles. There was a wide variety of subjects. “You have a little of everything here, Emily.”

“Yes, I’m interested in lots of subjects. I loved grammar school and secondary school. I thought about going to college, but I foolishly married instead.”

Brenna picked up one of the books and opened the cover. It was a book about modern science. She scanned the table of contents.

“How about you, Brenna? Did you go to school?”

Brenna looked up. “I went to school a little in Ireland. My mother and my grandmother taught me a lot. Then when we lived in New York I attended secondary school there.” She put the science book down and picked up one on philosophy.

“What was New York like? I’ve never been there,” Emily asked.

“I didn’t see too much of it—mostly my little neighborhood. It was very different from Ireland because there are so many people who come from all over the world. Once we settled into our tenement, I mostly saw the same people all the time.”

“Mostly other Irish?”

“Yes, people in New York tend to live with others like themselves, especially those who don’t speak English. I think it makes them feel more comfortable.”

“You would think that after being on a boat in close quarters for months, people would want to spread out a bit.”

Brenna looked at Emily, this girl her own age who had grown up safe and secure in a world of privilege. “Yes, Emily, there were hundreds of people on the boat. Everyone had left a life of deprivation and indescribable conditions. Each of us was leaving our homeland to make a new life in America. I can’t describe the feelings at the end of the passage as we all stood on the deck of the ship and saw New York harbor. The silence was intense. Then the ship’s horn blew and we all cheered.”

“That must have been an incredible experience.”

“Yes, it was. I’ll never forget it.”

“Do you ever wish you could go back to Ireland?”

Brenna paused. “Yes and no. We left family there who I miss very much. I would love to see them again. I think my parents miss Ireland. I don’t though. When I was young, life was wonderful. But when the troubles started, everything changed. That’s mostly what I remember. This is my home now, and I can’t imagine living in Ireland again. I like how this country is so open to everyone.”

Emily frowned. “Everyone except the Negroes.”

“Yes, I don’t understand that at all. Negroes were free in New York, but many people didn’t treat them like that.”

Emily hesitated a moment. “Can I confide in you, Brenna?”

Brenna looked cautious. “What is it?”

Emily took a deep breath. “I recently found out that I am not the person I thought I was.”

“What do you mean?”

Emily looked at Brenna carefully. “I got a letter at Fort Laramie from the woman I had always thought was my mother. She’s actually my stepmother.”

“How horrible!”

“Yes, but it’s worse.” Emily drew in a deep breath. “Brenna, my real mother was one of my father’s slaves in Virginia.”

Brenna gasped. “What?!”

“Nellie and Abel are the only ones who know the truth—and now you.” Her eyes were entreating. “You’ll keep my secret, won’t you Brenna? I don’t know why I told you except that I feel close to you and hope we can be friends.”

“Of course I’ll keep your secret, Emily. You’re still the same person you’ve always been.”

“No, I’m not. Everything has changed, Brenna. If people find out the truth about me, I will be ruined. Do you understand?”

Brenna looked at Emily, a beautiful young woman. “You mean if people knew your mother was a Negress they would shun you?”

“I would be shunned by white people and Negroes. No one would accept me, Brenna.”

“That’s not right!” Brenna exclaimed.

“No, it’s not, and that’s why you have to keep my secret.”

Brenna leaned over and took Emily’s hands. “Your secret is safe with me, Emily.”

The young women spent a few more minutes looking over the books. Brenna picked up a heavy one. “How about this one?” The title said
Ancient History
.

“That’s a great book! I think you’ll like it. Keep it as long as you want. Do you want to take another?”

“No, thanks. I think this one will keep me busy for a while.”

“Can I ask a favor while you’re here?”

“Sure, Emily—what is it?”

Emily looked down at Buster, who cocked his head and looked back at her.

A few minutes later, they had Buster in the creek up to his ears. He squirmed and whined trying to escape, but Brenna held him firmly while Emily soaped him from head to tail. When Emily was scooping up water and rinsing him off, he gave a final effort.

“Oof. Don’t let him go, Brenna!”

“I can’t hold on to him!” Brenna exclaimed and then laughed.

“He’s getting away!” Emily yelled. They tried to grab him, and Brenna ended up face first in the creek. Emily laughed until tears ran down her cheeks. Brenna climbed halfway out of the water, grabbed Emily’s dress, and pulled her in. Both women were thoroughly soaked and laughing hysterically. Buster sat on the shore regarding them solemnly.

“I’m wet to the skin!” Emily gasped climbing out of the water. “At least we got the majority of the buffalo dung off of Buster.”

Brenna followed her and sat on the creek bank catching her breath. “He smells better anyway.”

Kate Flannigan looked at Brenna’s bedraggled dress and dripping hair when she walked into camp minutes later. “You should undress to take a bath, Brenna.”

They both laughed and Brenna explained her appearance. “That little dog is strong and slippery when he’s soaking wet!” She watched Kate building up the fire. “Do you miss Ireland, Ma?”

Kate looked up, surprised. “Where is this coming from?”

“Emily and I were talking. I think she’s had a pretty sheltered life. I started thinking about my life compared to hers—all the places I’ve been and things I’ve seen. I was just wondering if you ever miss Ireland.”

Kate’s face suddenly had a tortured look. “Oh, Brenna! I miss it terribly!” Her voice broke.

“Ma!” Brenna looked alarmed. “I’m sorry!”

“No, it’s alright, Brenna. It’s just that when you said you’ve seen a lot in your life, it made me think about how true that is. You’ve seen more than any girl your age should ever see—all the poverty, the brutality, the misery, and people dying before your eyes. No girl should see that.” Kate wiped her eyes with her apron. “That part I don’t miss at all. But I grew up in a different Ireland, Brenna. I was raised in the same place my parents and theirs were raised. I knew every family in the county. There were always celebrations and dances where everyone would get together. Even wakes. Everyone was like family.”

Kate looked wistfully at Brenna. “That’s where I met your father and where we were married. The whole county was at the wedding. It went on for three days! You and Conor were both born and baptized there. You might remember some of the good times we had when you were young.”

Brenna nodded.

“And I miss the country: the green of it, and narrow lanes, small villages, the smell of the sea.” Kate paused and blew her nose.

“I miss Aunt Chloe and Uncle Donald,” Brenna said.

“Yes, I do too.” Kate paused in thought. “It’s hard to explain, Brenna. It’s everything—the land, the people, the customs. But what I really miss is more than that, and it’s something I don’t have here in America.”

“What is it, Ma?”

“It’s home.”

“A home?”

“No, not
a
home—it’s the feeling of home. I don’t have that here yet.”

Brenna nodded sagely. “That’s why Da wanted to come to Oregon, isn’t it Ma? He wants to try to get that feeling back.”

Kate smiled at her daughter. She was so wise! “Yes, Brenna. That’s the truth.”

Training

Chapter Twenty-Five

Before the Blue Mountains
Mile 1639

James Cardell found Michael Flannigan working on his wagon. “Hello, Mr. Flannigan. Hard at work as usual.”

“Good morning, James.”

The camp was having a lay-by in preparation for the trip over the Blue Mountains. They had heard that it was a difficult ascent through heavy timber. The deeply rutted and often muddy roads wound through outcroppings of rock. The descent on the other side was also treacherous. The men were making necessary repairs on the wagons. Some of them went hunting with the older boys for pheasant and prairie chickens. Others were dickering with a couple of Cayuse Indians for some beef.

“I want to thank you again for your help in the trade yesterday. Thomas is very happy with the horses.”

“I’m glad I was able to help you, James.”

“I was hoping you would be able to help gentle the colt, Mr. Flannigan. None of us has had much experience with that.” James waited while Michael finished the repair on the tongue of the wagon.