Josette (30 page)

She slid onto the seat, and said nothing, as if she'd decided anything else that needed saying was up to him. He reached for her hand and rested it across his broad palm. For a long stretch, he said nothing.

“What'cha thinkin', Papa?”

He had to clear his throat to speak. “I'm thinking your hands must have been quite small and chubby when you were a babe.” He tapped his finger along each knuckle on the back of her hand. “You likely had dimples right here, and here, and here, they were so fat.”

She giggled.

He drew in a ragged breath against the heavy pressure in his chest and looked away.

“Are you weeping, Papa?”

He turned back to her. “In my own way, I suppose I am,” he said, not recognizing his own voice. “I've missed out on so much of your life, and that's something I can never get back. I surely don't want to miss out on anything else.”

A smile, the color of sunshine, lit her face and eyes. “Then you'll be taking me with you?”

“Are you sure? Have you discussed this with your family?”

Her head bobbed up and down. “
Ma tante
said I should come tell you right away. She said I should stay the night so you don't leave without me. She'll have my things sent to the ship first thing.”

“Is that so? I doubt your aunt would send you here on your own. Allow you to wander through the streets by yourself at night.”

Her bottom lip slid between her teeth. “René brought me. He said you'd appreciate him doing the escorting, and that you'd appreciate
ma tante
sending my belongings to the ship direct. He also said to tell you that he and Bastièn would be there to see us off in the morning. I know what I'm doing, Papa. I done said my good-byes to everyone else, don'cha know.”

An odd jolt ran through Cameron. That was it? Nothing more from Josette? But why should he expect any farewells sent his way? “You don't say.”

They looked at each other for a long while, as though they'd both finally decided to venture over a bridge that had needed crossing for some time. Only now, they'd walk it together. “You'll miss your family, Alexia. You need to know that.”

As quickly as her smile had come, a cloud passed over her face. “You don't want me coming along?”

“Of course, I do.” He slid his arm around her shoulder and gave it a squeeze. “After all I've gone through to make sure you have a better life, how could you think otherwise? But it's important you know how serious your decision is. We can't be a week at sea and have you changing your mind.”

“Oh, my heart and mind, they be feeling the same. I been giving this lots of thought.” There went her lower lip between her teeth again. “So can I stay here tonight, Papa?”

Something deep in his own heart clicked into place. “You may, but I want you to go to bed and stay put, because we'll be leaving right before dawn.”

She stood and, stretching her arms above her head, contrived a yawn. “Well, I best be getting' to bed. I'm powerful tired.”

They both laughed.

“Come along, you little scamp.”

Together, they climbed the stairs. He waited in the corridor while she donned the nightgown she'd left behind after her overnight stay with Felicité.

“
Entre
, Papa,” she called out in a light and airy voice.

He opened the door and stepped inside to find her already in bed, the covers pulled to her chest. He grinned and moved to the side of the bed. “Why do I have a feeling we're in for quite a time of it once we sail?” He bent and planted a kiss on her forehead.

“Papa?”

“What?”

“Can I take Midnight with me?”

“Abbott's cat? I should say not.” He headed for the door, then halted. “How about we find you a kitten when we reach our first port? It can go along with us on all kinds of adventures, on every ship we decide to sail on.”

“Truly?”

He nodded, then turned once again to leave.

“I love you, Papa.”

He nearly stumbled. He raised his head to the ceiling to keep from choking on unspent tears. He struggled to find his voice. “I love you too, Alexia.”

He walked out the door, then stuck his head back in. “Alexia?”

“Yes, Papa?”

“I'm glad you're in my life.”

Instead of facing east, in the direction the
Arabesque
was heading, Cameron stood aft, watching the early evening sun turn the clouds in the west a luminescent orange and vibrant purple. Three days at sea and the solace and comfort he usually found aboard ship had evaded him. The peace of mind he'd always found on the open seas had escaped him entirely.

No matter what he did, he couldn't seem to erase Josette from his mind. He glanced over his shoulder at Alexia, who stood starboard observing the sea. She had Abbott's damn cat in her arms. Not once had she mentioned what or whom she'd left behind, but he knew she missed her family because he'd heard her talking to the little beast. No wonder she'd secreted the cat aboard; it was her only connection to New Orleans.

The thought pinched his chest. Would she get over the melancholy he could read in her eyes? Should he have insisted she remain with her family? It seemed as though instead of being clear in his goal to sail the world, Cameron was only more confused.

He'd been taking a hard look at his past since they'd set sail. Today he'd come to the conclusion that he'd been avoiding living life to its fullest these last three years. Standing not far from his daughter, and with an entire crew aboard, all he felt was loneliness. He hadn't been able to shrug off the hollow feeling that had settled inside every part of him.

“Papa, look!”

He turned to where Alexia was pointing. A school of dolphins jumped and cavorted not a hundred yards away, drawing closer to the ship as they swam. He joined her. “Would you look at that?”

“Are they trying to keep up with us?”

“So it would seem.”

“Do they do that sort of thing?”

“Indeed, they do,” he said. “I've seen them swim alongside a ship for miles on end.”

Suddenly, several dolphins shot out of the water right beside the ship. Alexia squealed. “They see me, Papa! They looked right into my eyes. It gave me goose bumps, don'cha know!”

Josette should be here to see this.
He drew in a ragged breath and stepped away from Alexia, who was so focused on the dolphins, she took no notice of his movements. Returning aft, he went back to watching the color-play in the clouds.

He missed the hell out of Josette.

A memory of the day he'd caught her working in her garden flashed through his mind. The way the light had shone around her like a nimbus, her anger at him that had only served to fire his blood. Then there was the game they'd played that had nearly landed them in bed together. And what of the times when they had? After hours of making love, she'd curl her lithe body against his and fall asleep in his arms. Damn it. He didn't just miss her. He ached for her. And he missed everything about her. He loved that she was bold enough to have faced all those women who'd shunned her and built a business around them. He loved that she'd had the courage to find her way out of the bayou and away from the abusive woman who'd raised her. He loved her tenacity, even her stubbornness.

Hell, he loved
her
!

He had to lean against the rail while the realization seeped through his bones and made him weak. He didn't just
think
he loved Josette, he
knew
it from the depths of his soul. He wanted her in his life, and he wanted to be a part of hers. Damned if he didn't want to grow old with her curled up beside him every night. The idea of spending the rest of his life looking at the same face over breakfast every morning held a sudden appeal. He wanted to be one of those old couples walking along a beach at sunset, collecting seashells.

His mind tracked back to Trevor and Celine's wedding day and how they'd had that look about them that said thirty years from now they'd still be holding hands and laughing together. That's what he wanted; he wanted to love and be loved forever. And he sure as hell did not want to travel the seas alone only to end up in some beautiful spot on earth as a recluse.

Why had it taken him so long to see that she'd become an essential part of his life? God, how could he have been so stupid as to have left her behind? Her sister had once stolen her dreams, and here he was, sailing off and stealing yet more.

He wanted his old humor back so he could whisper wicked things in her ear to shock her and then make her laugh. He wanted to share secret glances with her in a crowded room, an exchange that could only take place between two lovers who knew each other intimately.

He wanted to play more risqué games with her, wanted to watch her try to best him. Hell, he even wanted her to try to out-drink him on those occasions.

He wanted . . . no, he
needed
her as his best friend, his lover, his mate. She deserved someone who could love her with everything he had in him. And by God, he was the very one!

A prickly feeling shot through him and landed in his gut. Had he done so much damage, leaving the way he had, that she'd closed her heart to him? God, he hoped he wasn't too late. Well, he'd bloody well go begging if he had to.

Turning on his heel, he headed for the stern, meeting the ship's navigator and captain midway. “Turn the ship around.”

The navigator cupped his ear as if he'd not heard right. “Say what, sir?”

Captain Creesy stepped forward. “Sir, we're halfway to Bermuda.”

“I'm well aware of the fact, Josiah. Nonetheless, we're heading back to New Orleans.”

The captain sputtered. “But, sir, I've a contract to fulfill.”

Cameron chuckled and slapped Josiah on the back. “Might I remind you that it was my contract you signed? My shipping company employing you?”

The captain cleared his throat with a small cough. “May I ask the reason, sir?”

Alexia sidled up to Cameron, the poor cat in her arms being petted half to death during the girl's intense scrutiny of Cameron. “That's what I want to know.”

As if he were about tell her exactly why he was turning back and have her beat him to Josette's door. “Let's just say I have some unfinished business that requires my immediate attention.”

“Yes, of course,” the captain said, but stood before Cameron in stunned silence while the navigator waited for his orders.

“Captain Creesy,” Cameron said. “If you will hasten to order the ship turned in the opposite direction, once you reach New Orleans, you and your entire crew shall be paid in full. Then, when you immediately turn this little money spinner around and reach Bermuda, you will all receive double pay. So if you'll give James here your direct order, we can pick up the afternoon westerly and sail into the sunset.”

The navigator's eyes lit up as he took survey of the crew's whereabouts.

“You heard the man,” Josiah said. “Let's get this bloody ship turned around.”

Alexia's hand slid into Cameron's. He looked down into eyes filled with a mixture of trepidation and excitement. “Why we going home, Papa?”

Home.
Didn't that tell him something about her? “We need to return Abbott's cat.” He gave her hand a tug and headed toward the foredeck. “Come along,
pouchette
. Let's get right up front while the ship turns about.”

Alexia had to trot alongside him in order to keep up with his long strides. “You wouldn't go ordering the captain to turn back just because I stole Abbott's . . . oh, you be fooling me.” She grinned up at him. “Whatever you're turning back for, I'll be seeing
ma tante
and my uncles again. Oh, and
Tante
Vivienne and Régine. That will be nice. Very nice. Maybe we can have us some étoufée soon's we get there.”

He bit the inside of his lip to keep from grinning. “Is food all you can think about?”

“
Non
. I been thinking about lots of things, Papa. I been thinking
ma tante
must be missing you something terrible.”

“What makes you say that?”

“She loves you. And I can tell you love her, so maybe you be missing her, too?”

Sweet and painful, those words. Especially coming from a child too old for her years, yet innocent as a babe when it came to some things. “How could you possibly know such a thing?”

“I see it in your eyes, the way you look at her when you talk to her, and how you keep watching her when you think she isn't looking.”

Maybe not so innocent, after all. “And she does the same? Is that your thinking?”

“She told me she loves you. She said she would miss you because you're the best thing that ever happened to her.”

Stunned, he drew in an audible breath that trembled. “She told you this?”

Alexia nodded.

“When?”

“When I told her I was sure I wanted to leave with you. She said she'd miss us both and her heart would break a little.”

Apprehension washed through Cameron again. Would she turn him away? Damn if Josiah couldn't get this ship turned around fast enough. Josette was worth going after no matter the cost to his company. She was worth everything he could manage to give her—including his heart and his soul.

And his promise to love her forever.

The
Arabesque
's towering rigging, as tightly tuned as a giant violin, thrummed and keened as the ship made her wide turn. Her masts creaked as she took the wind on her portside until at last, fully turned, she began to pick up speed. Twin white waves curled away from her sharp bow in high, arcing plumes, filling the air with a salty spray as she headed full-speed for New Orleans. Cameron grinned and licked the tangy water off his lips.

Finally, this journey felt right.

 

 

Josette stood on her bedroom balcony, gazing into the darkness and ignoring the bellow of male voices rising up from the open window below. She swiped at the tears trickling down her cheek. Enervated, she couldn't concern herself with whatever René and Bastièn might be arguing about. If they were even quarreling, that is. For all she knew, they could be having a devil of a good time over nothing more than wagering on the precise moment the sun might rise tomorrow morning.

She rubbed at her folded arms through the thin silk of her robe as if she'd grown cold, but it was nothing more than emptiness chilling her bones. She still couldn't remember much of what had transpired the night of the fire—from the time the flames engulfed the pool of alcohol to when she'd found herself at home. She couldn't even recall how she'd managed to get out of her laboratory. By rights, she should have been trapped. All she knew was she'd suddenly found herself in the street, clinging to René for dear life.

She clearly remembered Cameron, though. He'd watched her leave the scene, his face a stone mask. Mixed with his coldness was a pain so tangible she could've reached out and touched it. Why had she been so foolish as to tell him she didn't want to set eyes on him before he left? What she'd said to protect her breaking heart now seemed unduly harsh. Worse, her dictum had left its mark—he'd taken her at her word and not come to her. Had left town without the good-bye she'd secretly hoped for.

He and Alexia had only been gone for a little over a week, but it felt more like months. Two people she loved erased from her life. Just like that. Shouldn't she be glad he cared enough to take his daughter with him? Wasn't this what she'd wanted for Alexia all along? The girl desperately needed her father's influence. And when she hadn't returned the night Josette had sent her to Cameron, she knew he had accepted his daughter. Of course he would have. Josette had never doubted it for a moment.

René and Bastièn had held different opinions. They'd laid odds on Alexia returning the same evening, along with a side bet as to whether it would be of her doing or her father's. But the next morning, they'd returned home with downcast eyes after seeing Alexia and Cameron off.

Her brothers' questionable activities hadn't angered Josette. She knew them well. They wagered on just about anything, and acted as though they were celebrating something by imbibing a good supply of rum. Such behavior was their way of coping with the loss of a young girl they'd both helped raise.

Stark reality settled in the pit of Josette's stomach like spoiled fruit. Alexia was destined to grow into womanhood in another part of the world. Under the guidance of a cultured, educated father armed with wit and intelligence—a man Josette loved but could never have. The thought gave a stiff tug at her insides.

Someday, she and Alexia would be reunited, and Josette would be able to see how her niece turned out. As for Cameron, Josette might never meet him again. A soft moan, nearly a sob, tore loose from her throat. There had to be only so many scars a heart could endure before it gave up and crumbled to dust.

She had nothing now but a house filled with two cousins and two brothers—two brothers who were planning to leave on a voyage that had this evening caused an argument between her and them. She hadn't a clue as to how much time had passed while she'd stood on the balcony and stared out at the moon.

Her life was empty now. All that she'd worked so hard to achieve was gone. In an instant, her life had changed. Who was she now? What did she have to look forward to but tending to her garden and stitching up her brothers' wounds now and then? Whenever they were in town, that is. Another shaft of pain lanced her heart. Next week even they would be gone on a journey. What if they decided to take a permanent assignment elsewhere? If one brother went, the other was sure to follow.

A light tapping sounded on the door. She ignored it. Whichever brother it was, he'd soon let himself in after she failed to respond. When it came to respecting her privacy, those two weren't always the most discerning of men. And tonight, she was desperate for seclusion.