Joker's Wild (16 page)

“Oh, Sandi. Look at his face.” Allison slid to the floor and let her crutch fall with a clatter. She lifted Joker’s head into her lap and began to feel for his pulse. “I’m afraid that he’s hurt badly. Look how pale he is. Did you know that his real name is James Daniel?” Allison wiped the blood from Joker’s face with her napkin.

She could tell from the expression on Sandi’s face that she wasn’t making any sense. She didn’t know herself what she was saying. She only knew that Joker was hurt, and she was scared out of her mind.

Joker hovered halfway between consciousness and oblivion as he heard Allison’s disjointed conversation.
He moaned and risked a peek. Allison handed Sandi the soiled napkin and asked for a clean one. He could see Sandi’s face over Allison’s shoulder. He shook his head in warning, pleased to see her answering nod.

“Promise me that you won’t let him know how worried I am, Sandi,” Allison repeated. “He’s such a tough guy. I’m sure he will be embarrassed about having fainted. Do you think we ought to call an ambulance to take him to the hospital? He might have a concussion.”

“Oh, I don’t think that’s a good idea. I doubt that Joker would like the world to know that he had a fight with a tree and lost. He’s supposed to have a way with growing things.”

“He’s the most wonderful man I’ve ever met, and he thinks that I’m an ungrateful shrew. I don’t know what to do about it.” Allison planted a soft kiss on his forehead and anxiously patted the wet cloth to a cut on his forehead. “We have to get him to the hospital, Sandi.”

“Maybe we ought to get the doctor here,” Sandi suggested. “Joker …”

“… isn’t going to see any doctor,” he said with a groan. “Beauty, it’s no problem.” Joker flexed his neck and snuggled closer. “I think all I need is to be still for a minute. Everything is whirling around. Please, just hold me.”

“It’s all right, darling,” she whispered lovingly, “I’ll take care of you.”

Darling? She’d called him darling. Joker felt the imprint of her small firm breast against his shoulder. Dammit. He’d hoped that she was just holding onto her skating as some kind of shield against the
onslaught of emotions he’d stirred up in her. She was afraid to let herself respond to a man whose interest in her wasn’t tied to her skating.

“What were you doing up in that tree anyhow?” Allison planted a soft kiss on his lips and smiled at him. “Tell me the truth.”

“The top of the tree was dead and needed to be cut. And I needed to work out some of my … my frustrations with tough physical labor. I guess you wouldn’t know about that kind of frustration, would you?”

“About frustration? Maybe not before, but I’m learning about a lot of new things, Joker. And frustration is pretty high on the list, along with anxiety, anger, and … desire. What can I do about mine?” Allison asked, allowing a hint of dispair to color her voice. “I don’t suppose you have any ideas.”

“I don’t know what you mean,” he said in a pained voice. “I think I heard you say something about taking care of me. I feel a little strange.” He moaned and covered his eyes with his forearm.

“Just as I thought,” Sandi observed dryly, “he’s had a lick on the head. It’s making him act crazy. I think we ought to take him down to the springs and dump him in—head first.”

“Go away, Sandi,” Joker said weakly. “Ill be perfectly all right by tomorrow morning. I have someone to look after me …” Joker’s voice trailed off. He knew that he was making a mistake, allowing himself to respond to Allison’s concern. But he couldn’t hide his eagerness.

“All right, Jamie, no hospital,” Allison said. “Don’t worry, turnabout is fair play. I’ll watch over you.”

“Thank you. I think you’re supposed to prevent
people with head injuries from sleeping. Isn’t that right, Sandi? Will you keep me awake, Beauty?”

“Of course.” He was beginning to look better. When she’d seen his face smeared with blood, she’d been ready to panic. She hadn’t realized how much she cared about the big guy until he’d passed out at her feet. Allison didn’t want another minute of misunderstanding between them. She had to tell him the truth.

“About Mark,” she began. “I have to tell you. I didn’t mean it the way you thought. I don’t care about Mark any more. Honest, I don’t.”

“Well,” Sandi said with a nod of exasperation. “Here we go again. I guess neither of you wants any blueberry pancakes now.”

When nobody answered, Sandi lifted her shoulders in resignation. “In that case, I’ll just slide this batter in the refrigerator and skedaddle on out of here, while you two … do whatever it is that’s going to keep Joker awake.”

“Oh, but Sandi, I don’t have any medical training. I don’t have any idea what to do to keep Joker awake.”

“I’m sure that you’ll think of something.”

The door slammed. They were alone. Joker rubbed his head, grimacing at the painful knot swelling above his right eye, and they stared at each other, each unwilling to speak, each unable to find the words.

“Jamie, I sorry I—” Allison said finally.

“Allison, I’m not ready—”

“You first,” she broke in.

“No, I’m sorry. You go ahead.”

“All right.” Allison licked her lips and swallowed hard as she stared intently at the floor. “I didn’t
mean what I said the other night after we … I mean I wasn’t even talking to you when I said that all I wanted was to skate. That’s what I wanted when I came back here, but now I don’t know what I want.”

“Stop! Don’t say another word.” Joker slid off Allison’s lap and came to his feet, lifting Allison in his arms. “I’m too heavy to be leaning on you. Let’s sit in the swing while we talk. That is if you’ll promise not to throttle me again. My head won’t take the punishment.”

“Put me down. You’ve just fallen out of a tree. You ought to take it easy.”

“If you think I can stay there on the floor with you and take it easy, you’re the one with the head injury. We’re going to talk about this before either of us gets any more wild ideas.”

“Fine, but I’ll walk.”

“No, I’ll carry you.”

“Jamie Daniel, you put me down, or I start screaming.”

“Oh, by all means scream. And I’ll scream louder.”

“Joker, you wouldn’t dare. What I ought to do now is lock you in the carriage house until you take this seriously. You could be badly hurt.”

“But I’m not.”

“Are you sure?”

“I’m sure.”

“Then will you do something for me?”

“Of course I will, Beauty. Anything you say.”

“Kiss me.”

He kissed her.

“Oh, Joker, I thought I was going to have to find my own tree to climb.”

Joker carried Allison out to the porch and sat down with her in his lap.

“We don’t need trees, Beauty. We need each other. Our bodies understand that even if our minds don’t. Our lips and arms are crazy about each other. And the rest of us isn’t exactly playing hard to get.”

He was right. She was already beginning to respond to his touch. Her body seemed to take a deep sigh of contentment and mold itself to the man.

“I don’t understand you, Jamie Daniel. I’m tired and worn out, and I only have one good leg. What are you, some kind of nut? You can’t really want me. It doesn’t make any sense.”

“Guess not,” he agreed matter-of-factly, and shot a baleful look at her.

She leaned back and peered at Joker with eyes filled with bewilderment. She shook her head and tried once more. “Be serious, Joker. You deserve so much more.”

“Maybe, but you’re what I want, Allison.” He tightened his grip on her body. The tension in her was almost visible. “Why don’t we stop fighting each other and give ourselves a chance? What do we have to lose?”

“I’m afraid, Jamie,” she whispered, feeling the ever present stir of excitement begin to burn brighter. He was touching her, and that was all it took. Like a chain reaction, the tension began to ease.

“So am I. But I’m not going to hurt you, Beauty. I promise.”

“I know. And I want to walk again, more than anything, but … well, it’s wrong for me to take advantage of you,” she said desperately, allowing her voice to trail off.

“And I told you, Allison Josey, that I was going to show you how wrong you are about yourself. I thought that night had proven it. I guess I have to do better.”

“Oh, Jamie, thank you. But I am what I am, and I’m going to have to learn to accept the fact that I’ll never skate again, and we both know that nobody will ever chase you with a shotgun on my behalf.”

“Too bad, Allie. I might be able to look forward to that.”

“Don’t called me Allie,” she said instinctively, and Joker felt the tension return like a blast of arctic air.

“Sorry, darling, is that what he called you?”

“Yes! Oh, Jamie, I’m sorry. It’s just that Mark and I were together for so long. He was like a part of me, a part of me that’s been cut away. I never had to function alone.” Shyly, she clasped her hands behind Joker’s head and leaned against his strong chest.

“I hate to hear you talk about him, but I know you have to work through that in order to heal and forget. I guess what I’m saying is that we need to move slowly. If we have something to offer each other, it ought to be given honestly, without expectations or guilt.” He kissed her eyes shut and moved his hand to gently hold her cheek.

“I’m not sure that I understand, Jamie. I thought that I needed to be alone to get myself together. But being without you was awful. I like being close to you, having you kiss me. I even like having you glare at me in the exercise room. You know why?”

“Nope. Tell me.”

“Because when you push me to try it one more time, it’s because you want me to regain the use of my knee—for me.”

“No, Beauty, it’s for me. If you stay with me, it has
to be because you want to, not because you can’t leave.”

After a time Joker pushed the swing and it moved slowly back and forth, creaking comfortably in the silence. Soon he felt her begin to relax. Neither of them spoke as the sun filtered through the trees making lacy patterns across the patio floor.

“You may be right, Joker. I need to get well first. But can’t I love you and want to skate too?”

“I don’t know. I guess we’ll have to see what you want. What we have to do now is get you walking again. After that, my Beauty, you can decide. Until then, I think you should look on my loving you as part of your therapy.”

“Ah, Joker,” she finally whispered sleepily, “what am I going to do with you?”

“Simple,” he answered, pulling her closer, “you’re going to love me back.”

“You’re in love with Allison? Good. I approve.”

Mrs. Josey was sitting up in the rocking chair by the window. She was improving as rapidly as Allison. Soon she would be walking, and she could move into the apartment section of the nursing home.

“It would be good if she were really in love with me. But I’m all mixed up in her mind with skating again and with her sense of independence. She’s an ice skater, a champion, and the last time I looked Pretty Springs was still in Georgia, and there isn’t a big demand for ice skaters here. Once she’s well, she’ll go back. I can’t let myself love her.”

“But you do.”

The time had come for honest answers. Joker took a deep breath and faced the question head on. “Yes. From the moment I saw her pictures on the study wall. But I didn’t know it until she came to the gazebo that morning.”

“And she loves you, too, Joker.”

“What she feels for me is simply gratitude. I promised her I’d help her skate again, and she believes in me. She’d be unhappy without her career, and I wouldn’t do that to her.”

“What do you want from me, Joker?”

“Just your understanding, I suppose. I’d marry Allison tomorrow, but I want her to be able to skate again before she makes a decision. She has to be sure that she’s over—that she wants me. Then we’ll work it out somehow. But I’ll never marry her knowing that she might come to resent me.”

“Be careful, Joker. You might be the one to get hurt.”

He might be the one to get hurt. There was nothing new about that. He’d had plenty of experience with his mother, Pop, Ellen. Oh, yes. He knew how much love could hurt. He’d never intended to let that happen again. Then he’d found Elysium, and he hadn’t been able to stop himself from falling in love with a woman who was still hung up on another man.

Be careful, Joker.
Mrs. Josey’s words stayed with him all the way back to the estate. Careful was the one thing he hadn’t been. And there was no way he could stop making love to Allison. He was binding her to him, and that wasn’t fair. The hurting would be too hard when she left, on both of them. He drove around, considering what was best for Allison.

After long deliberation, he decided that no matter how painful it was, he’d do better to stay away from Allison unless other people were around. He’d let Sandi supervise the therapy program. He’d have the other therapists from the center come in and fill out the day. At night he’d invite Kaylyn and King over.
Hell, he’d even invite some of the patients from the nursing home to go with them to the springs. He’d keep her so busy that she’d fall asleep at night before she realized that he wasn’t there. Somehow he’d keep his hands off her until she was well. Somehow.